Never Satisfied: Do Men Know What They Want? (23 page)

The number of Vamps is multiplying every day and there is no sign of a slow down. “What is the cause of this?” you ask. One reason is the over-exaggerated male-shortage statistics. Women are scrambling like chickens with their heads cut off trying to find a good man, or any man with whom they can spend quality time. As one vamp stated, “I just want a piece of the rock; sometimes you have to chisel off another woman’s boulder.” Again, this is just another weak excuse women use to justify their lack of sexual and emotional control. If only they would take time out to look at the big picture, they could see the problem isn’t quantity of men but quality in the man. Until they understand this fact, the cheating man will continue to play them against one another like two pit bulls in a ring and puppets on a string.

And why shouldn’t he dog them out? The Vamp is constantly setting herself up as an emotional doormat and a sexual outhouse. The cheating man is simply going along with the game and treating her like the whore she is. “If it’s sex she wants, then it’s sex she’ll get,” he says. “No love, no affection, and for damn sure, no respect.” Millions of men all across this country have adopted this same heartless mentality, and they have no incentive to change. Why not? you ask. Because in every nightclub, office building, and bowling alley in America there is a desperate Vamp willing to spread her legs without a cause or conscience. As a result, men have become very cocky towards women in general. For example, a 30-year-old gentleman from Chicago told his girlfriend flat out, “If you don’t want to get with the program, I’ll find somebody who will.” And guess what? He had no problem whatsoever finding a number of desperate women who were willing to go along with that so-called program. So much for long-term commitment.

Another reason why women are Vamping these days is because of the liberal feminist attitude concerning uncommitted sex. I guess this is some form of 60s free love with a condom. The idea is to do it whenever you want, with whomever you want, as long as you use protection. But my question is, Protection against what? “Herpes, Syphilis, AIDS? That’s all fine and well, but what about protection against degradation, humiliation, and heartbreak? Even the conniving and calculating Vamp has been known to get burned. Although she may appear to be secure and in control, just wait until she runs into the right man. Or should I say, the wrong man? All of a sudden her busy work schedule slows down and her casual attitude becomes more serious. When love calls, she’ll pick up on the first ring.

Don’t get me wrong. I’ve met plenty of women who are just as good at emotional detachment as men are, in some cases even better. But those women are exceptions to the rule. Most often women cannot separate love from sex. And besides, that trick only works when it’s a man she’s not that into in the first place. When a woman is having sex with a man she has feelings for, over time her emotions will come into play. Suddenly Mrs. In Control, wants more out of the relationship, sexually, emotionally, and in terms of spending more quality time. At that point she’ll have to make a decision to move on and start over, which most women hate to do, or accept her role as the other woman, or the other other woman.

The mature Vamp usually has very specific taste in men. She prefers a mature man who has his head and finances together, not some young buck she has to make decisions for. She also gravitates to men who are well-groomed whom she can trust to be appropriately dressed for whatever the occasion. Close attention is paid to details such as clothes, shoes, brand of cologne, fingernails, etc. Just like a Sugar Daddy likes to show off his tender young thang, the mature Vamp wants her lover to be on point and represent her well in public. Just because he’s somebody else’s man doesn’t mean she can’t reap some of the benefits of the hard work another woman has put into him.

With the consideration of love aside, she wants the best physical specimen she can get. Dorothy from Atlanta said it best, “If I’m going to share a man with another woman, it’s going to be someone I can look at naked without turning off the lights!” The mature Vamp also requires a man with a bit of charisma and tons of confidence. Believe it or not, many couples who are cheating attend social events together and travel. No woman wants to be seen in public with a man who’s weak and insecure, and he’s married too, awe hell naw! If her girlfriends or co-workers discover that he’s married or involved, at least they will be impressed with the package. On the other hand, if he’s in her life strictly for sexual gratification, you’ll never see him in the day of light because she will hide him like a vampire.

Which brings me to the most important attribute for the mature Vamp, her man has to bring his hard hat and lunch box to the bedroom. As one woman said, “What’s the point of having an attractive, well-dressed, minute man?” Darren, who is 50 years old and married, says that vamps approach him all the time, especially at business conferences. His last close encounter took place six months ago with Theresa and Tonya, two Vamps who thought they had everything under control. Well, we’ll just have to see about that. As we began to talk about his experience, he shared with me why he thought more women have turned to Vamping. In his words, “Women have become just as low down and dirty as the men whom they criticize.” Now, whatever gave him that impression?

Darren’s Story

I
was at a sales conference at the Eden Rock Hotel in Miami and the last speaker had just wrapped up his presentation. He was boring as hell. I headed straight for the bar to get a drink to wake myself up. As I approached the bar and took a seat on the last bar stool, I could feel the eyes following me. Although most of our VP’s are men, the majority of the sales force is made up of women. Once I got my Grey Goose and cranberry, I took a long sip and exhaled. “Thank God that’s over!” I said to myself. Through the reflection in the bar mirror I could see the show that was about to start. There’s nothing more entertaining than watching corporate people let their hair down when they get away from home. It’s like kids being let out for recess at grammar school. The married men and women are the most fun to watch. Once they get drunk, watch out, you see the real person come out. They are wilder then the single ones.

I casually glanced around the room to see who was watching. Every now and then I would catch the eye of an attractive older woman who was sitting at the table on the opposite side of the bar. Of course, she looked away every time our eyes met. I guess she was checking me out to see if I was expecting company before she resigned herself to coming over. I chilled out and ordered another drink to loosen up a bit.

The night was still young, and I was in no hurry. About twenty minutes after sitting down and half way through my second drink, the bartender came over to me with a silly looking grin on his face.

“So, would you like another of what you’re having?” he asked.

“Slow down bartender, I’m not finished with this one yet.”

“Well, when you’re done, the lady would like to buy you another.”

“Hey, that’s fine by me!”

Now, keep in mind, he never did specify which young lady it was who offered to pay for my drink. So, I assumed it was the woman whom I had been making eyes at. Wrong assumption. When the bartender came over with the drink, I lifted my glass in her direction and whispered, “Thank You.” She responded by giving me a flirtatious smile and blowing me a kiss. That gesture obviously set off the woman who actually paid for my drink because a minute later I felt a set of large breasts against my back and a soft voice in my ear.

“Are you enjoying your drink?”

“As a matter of fact, I am.”

“Well, aren’t you going to say thank you?”

“Oh, so you’re the generous woman who offered to pay for my drink? Thank you very much.”

I’ve been trying to make eye contact with you since you walked in,” she said. “But I couldn’t get you to look in my direction.”

“Well, I’ll have to pay more attention in the future, won’t I.” I said, and then extended my hand. “By the way, my name is Darren?”

“I know who you are; I saw you at the New Year’s Eve party in Philadelphia.” she said with a sexy tone. “My name is Tonya, but my friends call me T. N. T.”

One look at her body and there was no need to ask why. While this conversation was going on, the woman from across the bar was making faces at me. You know that look that says, “Why are you talking to that bitch instead of me?” I wanted to bust out laughing right then and there. I couldn’t believe she had the nerve to get jealous. Not after she sat there and tried to play hard to get. “If you snooze you lose,” I always say.

Tonya turned out to be rather long-winded, so I had to cut her off after twenty minutes of non-stop yapping.

“Look, don’t mean to be rude,” I said while gently holding her hand. “But I’m expecting a few friends. Can we finish this conversation later?”

“Sure, I understand. Just do me a favor and stop by my table before you leave. I’d like for you to meet my girlfriends.”

“No problem. Where are you sitting?”

She pointed to the tables in the back of the room, handed me her phone number, and strutted away with that vicious body knowing damn well I was watching.

“Thank goodness,” I said to myself. “She was blocking like a motherfucker.”

Of course, the story about expecting friends was a lie to give the other woman an opportunity to make her move. And I knew she would do just that, after the coast was clear. Oh, by the way, my wedding ring was sitting on my finger as plain as day. Tonya took one look at it then passed me her phone number. She didn’t even so much as inquire about my marital status. It was going to be interesting to see how Ms. Cool would react because I had no intentions of taking it off for her benefit either.

Not long after Tonya had gone, I noticed the other woman getting up from her seat. She tried to play it off by walking casually, but I knew where she was headed. I turned my back to make her approach more comfortable. And just as I expected, she was standing behind me at the bar ordering a glass of wine. She was clearly nervous about initiating the conversation. I just sat there eating it up. Now she knows how uncomfortable it is for us men, I was thinking. After receiving her change from the bartender, she worked up the courage to tap me on the shoulder.

“Excuse me.”

“Well, hello Ms. Cool Breeze,” I said as I turned around.

“Ms. Cool Breeze?” she said with a stunned look on her face. “What did I do to earn that name?”

“Because I was seriously checking you out and you played the cool role on me.”

“I wasn’t playing cool,” she said while making herself more comfortable on the stool next to me. “I was just being patient. I refuse to act all frantic like these little girls.”

“Well, I prefer big girls myself. Would you happen to know one who is available?”

“That depends.”

“Depends on what?”

“On how committed you are to your wife,” she said while staring at my wedding band.

“Look who’s talking? You’re the one wearing that Elizabeth Taylor sized rock on your finger.”

“We both started laughing and slapping five at that one. It was a relief to find that she had a good sense of humor. That’s an important quality in a woman, even if you’re only bed partners. Which is exactly what this was leading up to.

“Wait a second, we haven’t even introduced ourselves. My name is Darren and you are?”

“Theresa.”

“Well, Theresa, where do we go from here?”

“To bed, I hope.”

“You don’t waste any time do you?”

“Darren I am 42 years old. I don’t have time for games. Here’s my job and cell phone number,” she said while handing me her business card. “Give me a call on Monday if you’re interested, anytime before five o’clock works for me, no strings attached.”

She gave me a polite kiss on the cheek and walked straight out the door. I guess she got what she came for. And to be honest with you, so did I. After I punched her number into my cell phone, along with a description of what she looked like so I could remember who she was, I went over to Tonya’s table to meet her girlfriends. I wasn’t at the table for 30 seconds before Theresa sprang up and offered to walk me to my car. I guess she didn’t want me and her girlfriends to get too well acquainted. Or she didn’t want them in her business because she was married too. Once we were outside in the lobby, she told me she had something to give me and asked me to follow her to her room. The minute we walked in the door, she was all over me like a cheap suit. I strapped on my condom and tried my best to impale her on my penis. I never heard a woman scream so damn loud. It was like she hadn’t had sex in years, and as it turned out, it had been eight months, according to her. Just in case you didn’t know, married women are some of the hottest women out there. They get less sex than single women, and when they finally decide to have sex, watch out, they will try to fuckin’ kill you!