Never Satisfied: Do Men Know What They Want?

Men Cry in the Dark

Maintenance Man

God’s Gift to Women

• • •

Love, Lust & Lies (DVD)

Do Women Know What They Want? (DVD)

1
DO MEN KNOW WHAT THEY WANT?

Do men know what they want? I’m not sure they do, but they definitely know what they don’t want, drama! But are men responsible for creating conflict in their relationships because of their lack of honesty? On one hand they demand monogamy while at the same time exercising their options to see whomever they want. Most women believe that men are never satisfied, and they may be right! But the question is, are women willing to listen to what men say they want and accept it? Or will they try to change them?

I
t’s hard to believe it’s been almost seventeen years since I updated this book. It was my first, my baby; it was the book that started it all! I can remember traveling around the country with that raggedy old suitcase stuffed with books going from town to town raising hell on the local morning shows. That was before all the national syndication that I would unknowingly become a huge part of. Those were the days of the standing room only
Love, Lust, and Lies
relationship seminars. It was just me, a hand-held microphone, and hundreds of fired up women ready to kill me. I was so cocky back then. I thought I had all the answers. Life has taught me so much since then. The older you get, the more you realize how much you don’t know.

I released the original version of
Never Satisfied
back in January of 1995; I was still driving trains for the Chicago Transit Authority waiting on a sign that it was time to take that leap of faith. And that day came soon after I published the book. It was a bitter cold day and I was working on the tracks with the rail workers. I boarded a train headed back to O’Hare airport and saw a family on their way out of town to someplace tropical. I remember how happy they were laughing and joking around with their straw hats on. At that moment I said to myself, why can’t that be my family boarding a plane? I wanted a better life for myself and for my daughter Michae’, who was three years old at the time. So, three months later I woke up, rolled out of bed onto my knees and prayed. I told God I was ready. I know my Christian fans are going to freak out when they hear that. But I did pray. And tears rolled down my face because I knew from that day my life would never be the same.

Since then I’ve hosted two television shows,
Talk or Walk
, and
Baisden After Dark
. I’ve had two of my novels adapted to stage plays,
Men Cry in the Dark
and
The Maintenance Man
, and produced two relationships films,
Love, Lust, and Lies
, and
Do Women Know What They Want
. Currently I host my own nationally syndicated radio show. But my proudest moment came in 2007 when I led the Jena 6 Civil Rights March. It was incredible to see thousand of people from all over the country of every age and race coming together to get justice for those six boys. I’ll never forget that moment for as long as I live. Also, campaigning to elect the first black president was a huge landmark as well. It felt good to have his camp tell us how instrumental we were in getting him elected.

Yes, a lot has changed since then, I’m older and hopefully wiser. Which is why I felt compelled to update this book. I wanted to share what I have learned in the past seventeen years with my readers and my radio family. We’ve discussed so many topics over the years and I felt this was an opportunity to put my thoughts down for the next generation to read. When
Never Satisfied
was first released in 1995, it became one of the most successful self-help books on relationships written by an African American male. I knew it was going to shock some people and spark dialogue about everything from cheating men to the women who tolerate it.

And that’s what my entire career has been all about, provoking conversation. Although it’s been many years since I self-published the original, we are still hesitant to move the relationship model forward. Sometimes it’s due to our religious beliefs, old fashioned thinking, and yes, the fear of change. I realize how difficult it can be to change the way you look at relationships but let’s face it; relationships and the institution of marriage are in real trouble. If you were in school and you got a 50 on a test, that’s not passing, that’s flunking. And right now we’re flunking out of relationships and marriage 101. When people hear terms such as open relationships, swinging, and polygamous, they freak out. But the reality is most people are in open relationships already. They either don’t know it, or don’t want to admit it. It’s like they have a case of selective amnesia.

Well, this is your wake up call. And just as I did back in 1995, I’m going to smack you in the mug with a hard dose of reality. Not according to me, but based on what everyday people have to say. I took the liberty of updating some of the stories based on some of the entertaining e-mails and calls I’ve received on my radio show over the years. I can promise you two things, you won’t be able to put it down once you start reading, and you won’t stop laughing. Sometimes when you see people so caught up in the game of cheating, you have to laugh to keep from crying.

So here it is, the new version of
Never Satisfied
. I kept all the good stuff from the original with a lot of new ideas and different perspectives.

Thanks again for all the years of laughs, great music, and the education. You guys have taught me more than I could have ever taught you. Enjoy!

FOOD, SEX AND SILENCE

D
o men know what they want? According to comedian Chris Rock the answer is simple, “Food, Sex, and Silence!” His statement may have been meant as a joke but for a majority of men he was right on point. Let’s face it! Men are simple when it comes to relationships. If our woman is not rationing sex, cooking great meals, and is willing to give us our space, chances are we’re happy, at least happy enough to stay in the relationship. However, if the wife or girlfriend is unable to consistently satisfy these needs, most men will likely use it as an excuse to seek satisfaction elsewhere. We are the consummate fair-weather lovers; at the first sign of sex rationing or being smothered we’re out the door and into the bed of another woman. Of course, this does not apply to all men, but I think it’s fair to say that the majority of men will not tolerate going without or being locked down, especially if we have options.

It’s been said, “A man is only as faithful as his options.” And generally speaking, it’s true! It’s easy for a man to boast about being faithful when nobody is interested in having sex with him in the first place. But for those men who are in demand such as athletes, actors, and yes, radio personalities, the temptation can be overwhelming. It’s easy to understand how pastors, politicians, and celebrities get caught up in sex scandals. There is so much pussy being thrown at them you wonder how any mortal man can resist. At some point, that moment of weakness creeps in and…bam! Next thing you know she’s looking up and you’re looking down. After it’s over you lie there asking yourself, “How did this happen?” The answer to that question is simple, Ego! Most women know that the easiest way to get a man’s attention is by stroking his ego, especially if the wife or girlfriend is not stroking it at home. Every man wants a woman who will tell him how brilliant he is and that he’s the greatest lover she’s ever had! Just as women have emotional needs, men have egotistical needs.