My Love Forgive (9 page)

I hated his noncommittal attitude towards this! “I’m going to get fired if I don’t go to work on Monday, Damian. You have to understand that.”

“No, you won’t be fired. That I can promise.”

“How?”

“I have it on good authority that the boss won’t fire you for this, Risa.”

“Aren’t you going to say more than that?”

Damian shook his head and gave me another tiny, cryptic smile.

My anger flared. I swallowed it down and focused on attention back on my lap.

“If you trusted me you wouldn’t be upset about this, Risa.”

“If I trusted you?” I exploded. “Damian, do you really not understand why what you’ve done is wrong? You’d be through the roof if I did the same thing to you.”

He flicked my forehead with his finger. “But you’re not me.”

I didn’t give a damn about my frowning. “No, I’m not. Apparently I’m a complete idiot for not taking this chain and choking you to death with it.”

“But then you would be broken-hearted for the rest of your life.” Damian kissed the top of my head and hugged me tightly for good measure. “Wouldn’t you? Tell me at least that much.”

“Maybe.” I rubbed my cheek against his bare chest. I had a role to play until I got my freedom, but it was so easy to forget when I was in his arms. Being here with Damian felt so right. “You’re really going to keep me here.”

“Of course. No one is here to stop us.”

Meaning you’ve already done it to me and I can’t stop you.

“You’ve chained me to a bed, locked me in a room, and I’m just lying here right next to you. I mean what does this say about us? About me?”

If I didn’t fix my brain-mouth connection soon I’d give myself away to Damian.

“Society doesn’t matter here. What other people think doesn’t matter here. Nothing matters but us.”

“I’m sure the police would feel differently.”

Damian cupped the back of my head. “I’m sure they would. Although it would be rather hypocritical considering the law is known for being creative problem-solvers.”

“You’re so confident.”

“I have to be. Otherwise…”

“Otherwise what?”

“You’re smart, Risa. Fill in the blanks.”

You’ll keep me here forever or until one of us breaks.

“What if I can’t go along with this?”

“You will.”

“What if I can’t give you what you want?”

“You can.”

“What if I disappear?”

“I’ll find you.”

“You really love me?”

“Always.”

I could no more control my feelings or my words than I could the stars. Maybe it was the stress of the last twelve hours or maybe because Damian was right here, just the way I always wanted, but I suddenly needed to be honest at least about this.

“Damian, I love you too. I’ve loved you forever.”

His ecstatic smile made my questionable madness worth it. “You’ll accept everything without fighting me?”

“Yes.”

No.

“Even without knowing what’s to come?”

My enthusiasm faltered. “Yes.”

No.

“It’s going to be brutal, Risa. For us both. Just remember that.”

I nodded. “I will.”

“Good.”

Clearing my throat, I said, “Damian, I hate to be crude but I have to go pee.”

“Okay.” He slid an arm underneath my legs and lifted me off the bed.

“What are you doing?”

“Taking you to the bathroom.”

“I can go on my own!”

“You lost that privilege when you used your hands against me instead of your words.”

“Do you mean I can’t go without you taking me?”

“I so enjoy your quick mind. It saves us both lots of time.”

“There has to be something else you can do instead.”

“Negotiation isn’t an option with me. I hope you understand that as quickly as you did this.” Damian opened the door to the large en suite bathroom. He deposited me by the toilet. True to his word, the chain reached with plenty of length to get into the whirlpool tub as well.

My heartbeat picked up speed but I tried to maintain control over my outward emotions. “Okay, you can go now. Thanks for the lift.”

“No, my sweet Risa.”

Horror dominated my disbelief when Damian’s angelic smile darkened with sadistic delight.

“I’m sorry…I…I don’t understand.”

“You understand me perfectly well.”

Three Weeks Earlier: Risa and Damian’s Office Building

She was avoiding me. Again.

I checked my temper as Risa’s black skirt flew up from her mad dash into the bathroom. It was almost comical the way she’d taken one look at me before lunging for the door.

You’re really going to hurt my feelings if you’re any more obvious.

After seeing Gretchen to her car the night before, I’d driven the route between my apartment and Risa’s eight times. No Risa. I’d called her twice. No answer. I’d cursed her 267 times. No relief.

Now seeing her in perfect health, spry enough to dodge me by hiding in the bathroom, and thinking me stupid enough to keep walking by just to save face created a dangerous break within my vaulted self-control.

Fuck that. It’s time for Risa to see a bit of who I can really be.

I walked up to the door, checked the hallway, and slipped inside. If there was anyone besides Risa, I’d throw on a flustered expression, babble my apologies, and retreat.

If not…

Risa, this kind of behavior is completely unacceptable. Today will be the day you learn this directly from my hand.

I looked around the corner and smiled. Small, with only three unoccupied stalls, it was easy to see it devoid of annoying, breathing obstacles. The empty bathroom immediately transformed into a treasure box filled with delicious possibilities.

Too bad it’s too early in our relationship to really do anything about it.

I locked the door and sauntered over to the small woman hovering by the far wall.

“Stop frowning, Risa.”

She whipped around, breathing my name in shock. “What are you doing here?”

The tiny quiver in her voice made me hard. Usually, I tried to be a good boy but something about Risa brought out the bad man in me. I hoped to push her limits a bit more.

“The same goes for you.”

She craned her head to look around my arm. “Damian! You can’t be in here! What if someone comes in?”

“I locked the door already.”

“You cannot be here. You have to leave now.” Risa commanded it, fully expecting me to obey her. Poor girl. She still didn’t understand what kind of man she took on when she agreed to see me.

“Why are you avoiding me?”

“I’m not.” Her flush betrayed her.

“Liar.” I encroached into her personal space. Risa backed up against the taupe wall. The top of her head came even with the bottom of the framed flower print. “I looked for you last night. I was very worried that something may have happened to you.”

“Well, as you can see I’m okay.” Her breathy explanation ended with a dazzling, insincere grin.

“You didn’t answer your phone last night.”

She looked away. “I know. I just didn’t feel like talking.”

“Why didn’t you want to talk to me?”

“I’m sure you can figure that out, Damian.” Risa’s resentful gaze slammed into me before darting away.

Defiance. Interesting.

“I didn’t want you to go last night, Risa.”

“You were more than busy enough to have me over.”

“Yes, but I wanted to spend my time with you.”

“And Gretchen wanted to spend her time with you. Stereotypical triangle, right?”

I smiled. My fingers tingled with the inappropriate urge to pull her into me. “There can only be a triangle if the top vertex cannot decide between the bottom vertices. We are definitely a line segment, Risa.”

“So you say now, Damian.”

“So I say always.” I took in her black jacket with matching chemise. “You look very pretty today.” My change of direction flustered her. Pleased as I was, I barely resisted the urge to tap her ensuing frown away.

“Thank you.”

“Do you notice anything similar between us?”

Risa’s dark eyes darted from my chest, up, down, and then back again. “You’re wearing all black today too.”

“Yes. Do you know why?” I waited until she shook her head. “Probably for the same reason you did.”

“Which is?”

“I was very angry at the thought that today would be the day we’d stop seeing one another.”

Risa’s full mouth shriveled into a tight, crimson pucker. “I’m not the one who’s still attached.”

“Neither am I.”

She crossed small arms across her chest. I watched in displeasure when she twisted her upper half away from me.

“Ask me, Risa.”

“Ask you what?”

“Ask me why Gretchen was at my door.”

“I don’t really care.” Neither of us believed her. Risa tried again. “I mean, I do, but it’s really none of my business.”

“True. It is none of your business but I want to tell you anyway. So ask me.”

Risa dipped her head and grudgingly obeyed. “Why was she there last night?”

She reminded me of a rabbit—cautious, worried, adorable, and above all, curious. I wanted to pet, cuddle, and devour her—not necessarily in the same order.

I’m going to so enjoy having you beneath me. I wonder if I’ll have to put pillows beneath your knees when you suck my cock because you’re so short.

“Gretchen was lost. She knows differently now and she won’t ever intrude on us again.”

“That’s a strange way to put it.”

“Yes, but it doesn’t make it any less true.”

Risa looked up at me. Her eyes betrayed a terrible darkness inside. “She’s your ex-girlfriend?”

“Yes. A little closer than that actually.”

“Oh.”

Sadness seeped into her posture. She reminded me of a crumpled origami flower—beautifully unnatural and all the more fragile because of it.

“I’m sorry to hear that, Damian.”

That’s the first honest thing you’ve said to me and I bet you don’t even know what you really mean.

“Thank you.”

“Was it a difficult breakup?”

“Yes.”

“I’ve never dated anyone for a long enough time to get too attached. I can’t imagine what it must be like to have to end such a serious relationship.”

“Risa, I’m telling you this for a reason beyond sympathy and condolences. My relationship with Gretchen has been over for three months. Last night was the first night I’d seen her since we terminated our contact.”

“Really? I think that’s rather cruel.”

“You do?”

“Yes.” She gave a quick sigh before she turned to face me fully. “Gretchen obviously still loves you very much. To have just ended things with her and then not seen her during all this time is hurtful.”

“You’re very noble to care about another woman.”

“I’m not trying to be.”

“Yes, but you are all the same.”

“Thanks. I think.”

“Will you see me tonight?”

She pursed her mouth again. “I don’t know.”

“I promise you last night won’t happen again. I want to see you again. Say yes.”

“Damian—”

“Say yes or I won’t unlock the door.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Try me.”

Her endearing grin proved she didn’t believe in how serious I actually was. She probably thought I was teasing. I did a lot of that with her.

It was easy. It was fun. It was different for a man like me. I didn’t have to engage in sophisticated flirtation, all following the same script.

“All right.” She uncrossed her arms and hissed in agitation, “Now you have to get out of here before someone catches you and gets you fired.”

“Would you care?”

“Of course I would! I’d probably get fired too for fraternizing during business hours!”

“Very well, little girl. I’ll be by later to organize your file trees.”

Risa’s shy gaze met mine. “I wasn’t really serious about that.”

She likes me calling her little girl. I’ll have to make sure I call her that often.

“Lucky for you I am. Your messy system is going to cause you problems. It’s best to take care of it now.”

“Maybe I like my system.”

“Maybe you’ll like mine better.”

She capitulated rather easily. “Oh, okay. I guess it’s worth trying.”

Indeed. Her cheeks bloomed in a becoming shade of pink. I wondered if she knew how easily she blushed in my presence. “Risa?”

“Yes?”

“There’s just one more thing I need from you before I let you out.”

“What is it?”

“I went looking for you last night and couldn’t find you. I called you and couldn’t get a hold of you.”

“Yes, I know. You told me this already.”

I reached out and brushed the back of my fingers against her collarbone. “You put me in a terrible position, Risa. I was very worried about you and that’s simply unacceptable.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“I’m sure you are but that’s not enough, little girl.” The otherness of me was rising ever-stronger to the surface.

She fidgeted and struggled to ask me, “What do you mean? I don’t understand.”

“I need something from you in return for all the aggravation you put me through.”

Since the moment I met you actually.

“What if I buy you lunch?”

“No.”

“Umm, okay. Dinner?”

“No.”

“What do you want then?”

I leaned down and whispered against her neck, “You were very bad, Risa. You were just a little girl out there in a very big world. What if a bad stranger decided to make you his little girl whether you liked it or not?”

Risa’s nervous giggle echoed charmingly in my ear. “You’re being silly. I’m a big girl, Damian. No one is going to do anything to me. Besides, it wasn’t that long of a walk.”

“Really? Well, then how come this much bigger man just locked you in a public bathroom without your permission? And just so you know—it was so very, very easy, little girl.”

“Damian!” Risa stuttered breath wheezed against my neck. “Stop trying to weird me out.”

“Am I frightening you?”

“N-No!”

Liar. You are scared. Good. Maybe next time you won’t walk alone at night.

“You’re not afraid of me?”