My Love Forgive (4 page)

“Of course? You answered so quickly. Are you really sure you thought that through?” Damian smiled much like the despotic Wolf must have when encountering his darling Red. I leaned closer, once more drawn to him without conscious thought.

“There was nothing to think through. Honesty is the only way to go. Otherwise, why bother?”

“Good. I would like that as well.”

“Okay! I’m all for honesty, Damian. What should we start with? Oh! How about this? Do you know where my name comes from?”

He shook his head, tiny smile affixed on his sensuous lips.

“Really? It’s actually from Star Trek and—” I ground to a halt when Damian placed his hand over mine. A flutter of desire licked along my veins.

“I’ve never watched Star Trek nor do I have any intention of watching it.”

Oh no! He’s misunderstanding what I meant. I didn’t mean to imply anything bad about him.

I might’ve apologized immediately if I didn’t feel so inept. I was an Account Executive who was supposed to have exemplary people skills, so why couldn’t I seem to say the right thing to him? “Oh, okay. Sorry.” Flustered, I took a large swallow of something cold. It charged down my throat in a tasteless rush.

I just offended him and that wasn’t my intention. I’m really proud of my name because my dad loved Star Trek and still does. I spent my childhood watching it with him and going to tons of conventions as a family. I love Star Trek.

“Just because I’m in IT doesn’t mean I’m a virgin who lives in my mother’s basement, plays video games, and watches Star Trek. Neither do the people who work for me.”

My hand twitched beneath his. Damian’s fingers tightened slightly. “I’m sorry for making it sound like I thought that. I don’t, you know.”

My chest expanded with a deep intake of breath. I’d been surprised and more than excited when Damian asked me out—despite the outrageousness of his comments just a few minutes before. Now it was pretty apparent it had all been a mistake.

We obviously weren’t a good match.

I felt a hot rush of disappointment burn the back of my eyes. Somehow I managed to blink them away and paste on an easygoing smile.

“Listen, Damian, I’ve obviously stuck my foot in my mouth with you. More than once. Let’s call this what it is and no hard feelings, okay?”

Without waiting for his answer I made to get up when Damian snapped, “Sit down!” Shocked, I reflexively dropped back into my seat.

“I can already see running away is going to be a problem with you, Risa.”

“I’m not running away!”

“Then what would you call it?”

I pursed my lips. “Strategically leaving before I make an even bigger fool of myself.”

“You care so much about what I think, do you?” Coming out of any other man’s mouth, it would’ve sounded smug. Damian’s matter-of-fact tone precluded such an emotion.

“I’d care about anyone’s thoughts if I had inadvertently offended them.”

Damian nodded and another stealthy smile tweaked the corner of his lips. “I appreciate that.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Now I hope you appreciate what I’m going to say next. I’m not going to play the same games you’re used to, Risa. I’m not going to run after you, apologize, smooth your ruffled feathers, and maintain conversations that say absolutely nothing of substance. If that’s what you want you can leave now.”

I blinked rapidly once more. The humiliation of showing myself badly in front of Damian made me sick. I tamped down the wholly foreign urge to cry. “Why are you so mean to me?”

He regarded me from an unblinking stare. “I’m not. I just prefer the truth. That’s all.”

“So in your eyes truth equals cruelty.”

“Sometimes.”

“I don’t agree with that. At all.”

“Lying is its own form of cruelty, Risa. It always causes unnecessary misunderstanding and pain.” My mutinous expression seemed to have inspired a brief smile. “Why did you come here with me?”

I frowned, wishing to stomp away but unable to give anyone that much power over me. “I don’t know.”

“Yes, you do. Don’t hide behind that unintelligent answer. Also, don’t frown.”

Now there was absolutely no doubt about it. Damian Black was a jerk. A vicious, rude, giant of a jerk who was bossy to boot. Baited by his arrogant response, I frowned fiercely and challenged him with, “You don’t like me. I want to know why.”

“And?”

“And what? There’s nothing else.”

Damian shook his head in impatience. “You Account Executives lie so much to get what you want I don’t even think it’s possible for you to know what honesty is.”

Now that damned well does it!

Anger lit a fuse inside, blowing up my charming mouth-brain connection. “That’s not true! I run my business honest, Damian, and you had better watch what you say when it comes to me. I don’t use dirty tactics and I damned sure don’t lie to get what I want.”

He measured me for several prickly moments before conceding. “You’re right. I apologize for stereotyping you much like you had done to me.”

What a vicious, rude, giant, and
vindictive
jerk! I can’t believe he threw that back in my face!

I narrowed my eyes, wondering what would happen if I tossed my drink in his handsome face. Damian mirrored me, as if he’d heard my thoughts. He waited, watchful to what I was going to do. Finally, I shook my head and laughed. Wasn’t it what I’d always wanted? A man who didn’t have any issue going toe-to-toe with me?

Point goes to Damian.

“I still say you’ve got a mean streak in you, Damian, but I see your point. It wasn’t my intention to offend you, but I did. I’m sorry.”

“Apology not accepted.”

“What?”

“There was nothing for you to apologize for, Risa. I wasn’t offended by what you said. I merely saw the need to clarify my position.”

Oh my God. We went through all that for nothing?

“You don’t give in gracefully, do you, Mr. Black?”

Damian answered my rueful laugh with one of his own. “No, I don’t. Not as gracefully as you do.” He leaned over the table and asked again, “Why did you come here with me? Especially after what I said this morning.”

Feeling very secure and a bit brazen, I responded by leaning across the table and whispering in his ear, “You like honesty, right?”

“Always.”

“Well, then. I’m very attracted to you. I wanted to know if you to feel the same way.”

“I do. Otherwise I wouldn’t have asked you to come here tonight.”

“Beg me!”

“I’m sorry! I’m soooo sorry, Damian!” He squeezed my neck a little bit harder, not enough to scare me but plenty enough to make my toes curl with pleasure.

“You don’t sound sorry enough to me, Risa.”

“Oh God, Damian! Please!” My legs scrabbled up higher around his back. His cock continued to plunge in and out of me at a deliciously punishing pace.

“Please what, you naughty bitch?” He released my neck in favor of digging his fingers into my jaw. “Open…wider…wider. Hmm, that’s right.” Damian stuck his tongue into my mouth. Aggressive, dominating to the point of suffocation, he ravished my mouth as I whimpered against his hard lips.

Yes, yes, yes!

These sadistic moments were ones I craved with an unhealthy fixation. I loved being the center of his world and for Damian to not behave the gentleman with me. The harder he came at me, the more aroused I got.

“You’re so wet, Risa. So fucking wet for me!”

I arched my back while grabbing a fistful of his dark hair. “Don’t stop, Damian. Don’t ever stop.”

He slapped my hand away and snarled, “Say it like you mean it!”

His viciousness thrilled the core of who I really was. I was unapologetically masochistic in my need to have this particular man love me, to see me worthy of keeping for more than a playmate.

To need me like I had grown to need him—despite his many, many flaws.

Damian was cold and distant with an emotional core of black ice. And yet, there were so many times when I felt the fire burning bright beneath, when I basked in his warmth, approval, and yes, his sweetness. I lived for those moments when the ice melted long enough to let me feel the man encased beneath the layers of inflexible control.

Perhaps I was going down a bitter road of regret by seeing only what I wanted to see, but if so, I was walking ever-faster to chase behind this beautiful man.

Dangerously smitten, I moaned, “I love having you in me. Please, Damian, don’t ever stop…don’t stop fucking me…please…”

He growled deep in his throat. “I’ll hold you to that, Risa, see if I don’t.”

It should’ve been a warning but it was the sweetest promise to my ears. Reaching for him, I kissed his throat, chin, and mouth greedily. He accepted my caresses for only so long before he reasserted dominance.

Damian pulled out to stand by the bed. He grabbed me by the ankles and yanked me towards him. What followed next was a violently beautiful tangle of limbs as we struggled against each other for the promise of momentary bliss.

And what bliss it was until everything became undone.

His fingers massaged me gently, causing me to snap my hips. I caught his molten gaze from beneath fanned lashes, the ribbon long gone after Damian ripped it off when he pushed my legs open. Something desperate and dreadful coiled within his stare. Something that looked very much like loathing.

I went cold. I couldn’t reconcile the ugliness I’d seen with the rightness of Damian’s touch.

Is it me you hate? Is that why you won’t let yourself love me beyond my body?

I’d always known I represented many things he disliked but never allowed myself to think it was hatred. Now the thought wouldn’t let go.

“Come.”

It was a command I’d heard countless times, but this time I couldn’t obey.

“I said come.”

“I can’t!” I wailed. When his expression hardened, I recoiled for the first time with Damian. Shock rolled across his face before a thunderous frown took its place.

“Yes, you can. You just won’t.” Damian grabbed me about the waist and lifted. The hard suction of his mouth violated my inability to submit to him. I gripped the crisp sheets above my head and fell apart as he continued to taste me.

Cries of completion tumbled free. Damian flipped me over, kneed my trembling thighs wider, and sank deep inside. His hips hammered away, the brutal force turning my already tender bottom even more so, but his mouth feathered my shoulder in fervent adoration.

But it was too late.

Everything changed with one look in his silver and gold eyes.

Three Weeks Earlier

It was the third time Damian had taken me out to dinner.

It was the second time I’d had been to Damian’s apartment.

It was the first time I had seen someone waiting for him.

I’d stopped in mid-chatter when I caught sight of the exquisite redhead slouched against his apartment door. Curiosity morphed into dread when Damian politely asked me to wait for him. I felt helpless to chirp anything but “Sure!”

He strode down the concrete walkway without looking back.

Although it was impossible not to hear them, I made a poor attempt to find the building siding fascinating.

“I’m sorry, but I had to come here!”

I wonder how long it takes to put up one of these complexes.

“I don’t understand why, Damian! What did I do wrong?”

I bet the order on this alone is enough to make a rep’s numbers for the year.

“Then why won’t you return my calls?”

It’s probably damn near impossible to break into this market though.

“I thought everything was fine between us. It was, wasn’t it?”

Hmm. The turnaround time on this much siding has to be short. Otherwise the contractor will just go to someone else.

“I won’t keep my voice down, Damian! You don’t get to tell me what to do anymore if you won’t keep me!”

I wonder…I wonder what the profit margins are—

My thoughts disconnected when I heard Damian melancholy reply.

“I would’ve kept you forever if I thought we were right for each other.”

Terrible anguish filled the breezeway. I felt my throat prickle uncomfortably. I risked a glance over my shoulder and wished I hadn’t.

The beautiful redhead had collapsed at Damian’s feet, face pressed hard against his thigh. His long fingers tunneled through her hair in a precious attempt at comfort.

I met the woman’s stare. Pity, hatred, and misery slammed into me. I couldn’t hear the whisper but I could read her lips.

“He’ll do this to you too if you’re not careful.”

I saw her words then as a warning. Now I saw it as a curse.

My mind struggled in a web of its own making even as my body kept feverish pace with Damian.

That was hate I saw in his eyes. I know it now…I knew it then…I just didn’t want to admit it. He knows I’m in love with him and all he wants is to fuck me. That’s all I’m good for to him…unless I become too much trouble. That’s why he got rid of the redhead…and the others…they loved him and he didn’t love them…so he got rid of them…like misbehaving dogs.

Damian’s body stiffened. His hips a seal against mine, he flooded me until I could feel him trickling down my thigh. Normally I moaned like a bitch in heat when I felt his release. This time, however, I remained quiet. I waited until Damian dropped onto his back before I made my move. Once his breathing slowed, I dared to look over my shoulder.

Arm resting above his head, face relaxed, and large gorgeous body at ease, Damian appeared angelic. It was as close to happiness as I ever saw him emote without persistent prodding from me.

“Where are you going?”

I took perverse pleasure in feeling him touch my thigh as I stopped in mid-motion. “I’m going to get cleaned up.”

“So soon? Wouldn’t you rather lay here with me?”

Under normal circumstances? Absolutely. “I’m really messy.”

“An apology would be a lie since I’m not sorry for filling you up.” Damian’s naughty grin created a flutter in my tummy, especially when he took my hand in his and kissed the knuckles before falling back against his pillow. “Okay. Go. Come back soon.”