My Blue River (46 page)

As I began to leave, Sheridan said, “See? If you had just moved to the sorority with me, you would only be sharing a bathroom with a few other people versus an entire dorm floor. It makes me sick when I think of you living here and now you have to share it with Daisy Duke of Hazzard County. It’s sad really.”

I just rolled my eyes and left the room. The door was slightly open when I returned, and I thought I heard Sheridan’s voice, but as I entered the room, she was sitting on the bed examining her manicure while looking smug.
She must have been talking to herself—probably mumbling about her disgust with Kate.

“Ready?” she asked.

“Ready.”

********

I spent the entire day indulging Sheridan with whatever she wanted me to do, but when she left me alone with Branson, I was done for the day. It was now three-thirty in the morning and I could barely lift my legs to walk. I tried to ditch Branson but as usual he insisted on walking me to the door—“for my safety.”

“Well, thanks again. Thanks for this, too.” I held up the unopened birthday gift. I could tell from the feel of the package it was some type of book.

“Oh, you’re welcome. My pleasure. Um…so…Addy.” Branson walked toward me. I kept taking steps backward until my back hit the wall. He placed one arm out, with his palm against the wall, his body leaning into me. Even though he was slightly hovering in front of me, I couldn’t say I felt in danger, but I was uncomfortable in a “he’s in my personal space and about to try to kiss me” kind of way.

He continued, “I really like you.” He whispered the words and tried to sound seductive. Branson was stone-cold sober so it wasn’t like alcohol was playing a part in his actions. I knew he meant what he said but it wasn’t working for me. He was nice, he was attractive, but he wasn’t who I wanted.

I tried to downplay his confession. “I like you, too, Branson,” I said spritely.

“No, I mean. I like you as more than just a friend. I was wondering if you’d like to drop the posse and go out solo some time?” He looked hopeful. I felt bad, but not bad enough to say yes.

“Branson…” I shook my head. “I’m sorry. I told you. My heart is taken.”

“Yeah, I know. You talk a lot about him. Who is this Jack guy anyway?”

I opened my mouth to speak but before I could reply, I heard, “That Jack guy is
me
.”

My eyes popped open wide and Branson straightened his body and backed away from me. It wasn’t just me having a daydream. Branson obviously heard a voice, too. He moved to my side, clearing the view ahead of me. There stood Jack and for some reason and by some miracle, he was standing in the hallway of my dorm. He was probably only twenty feet away from me. It was nearly as surreal as the night he rescued me from Harrison. Although I wasn’t in danger, he was now rescuing me from an uncomfortable conversation.

Branson looked at me with a weak smile of surrender. It was a smile that admitted defeat. He stood up straight and looked like he was ready to leave with dignity.

“Happy Birthday, Addy,” said Branson. He turned to leave, stopping at Jack. He clapped Jack on the shoulder and said, “You’re one lucky guy.”

“Yes—I—am,” he replied. Jack didn’t even look at Branson. He was staring at me and not one part of his face looked happy to be here. I thought of how it must have looked just now, but clearly he had heard our conversation. He had to have known nothing had happened between us—ever.

I rushed to him, shaking my head in disbelief. Shock must have been written all over my face.

“Why are you here?” I asked.

“Sounds like you want me to leave,” he replied. There was a disturbing edge to his voice.

“You’re scaring me. What’s going on?” I searched his face for answers.

“I called you this morning and one Sheridan McCall answered. She told me you were with your new boyfriend—your boyfriend, Branson. Then I come here and who do I find you with? Branson.”

My face froze. I replayed earlier today in my mind. I
knew
I had heard Sheridan talking before I entered the room. I
knew
I wasn’t losing my mind. She had seemed smug all day, and I couldn’t put my finger on why that was but now I knew.

My voice shook with rage. “I’m gonna kill her.” I very nearly meant it. Blood surged through my veins as my pulse quickened. I started to breath heavily. I was so angry I have could have struck her down with just one deadly look.

He looked down. “So—you—
don’t—
have a new—boyfriend?” He asked with childlike hesitation.

I calmed myself. I walked to him and held his face in my hands and softly said, “Jack…are you kidding me? You got on a plane—which I know is a huge
sacrifice
since you have a fear of flying—just to ask me if I had a new boyfriend?”

“I had to see him to believe it.” He looked miserable, tired, and sad. It was all from Sheridan’s thoughtless act to take control of my life. I couldn’t wait to give her a piece of my mind and if she wasn’t careful, she’d get a piece of my fist, too.

This was unbelievable. I couldn’t believe how vindictive Sheridan had been. I always knew on some level that it was possible for her to be downright cruel, but this was hitting me square in the face. I knew deep down she was jealous and this was proof positive. I had a man in my life who truly, deeply loved me. I had someone who wasn’t using me. I had someone who hadn’t even tried to have sex with me just to say he had conquered me. I had someone who if we did have sex would refuse to even call it sex because that would minimize the act—he would say we made love and he would wait until we were married, if that’s what I wanted.

I was pacing back and forth when Jack suggested we go into my room.

“I don’t want to wake your roommate, but we should get out of the hall,” he suggested.

“She’s not here. She went to Disneyland. Hey, let’s go to your hotel. You have a room, right?”

“Umm, we shouldn’t be alone,” insisted Jack.

“Why? That sounds really good to me actually.” I whispered.

“Because I respect you, I respect your parents, and I value the protruding parts of my body.”

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

He continued, “Your parents know I’m here and I promised them you wouldn’t stay at the hotel with me. Your dad threatened to cut off the protruding parts of my body if I didn’t stick to it. He tried to sound like he was joking but I’m not taking any chances.”

I laughed. “We’re adults. It’s none of their business what we do.”

Jack shook his head “No, Addy.” His voice was firm. He adored my dad and would in no way jeopardize their relationship. That much was certain.

Luckily, I had a solution. “Well, you didn’t promise my dad you wouldn’t sleep on Kate Jensen’s bed, right? How about you stay here, on a completely separate bed, but in the same room,” I offered as I unlocked the door.

He smiled. “Can it be our little secret? There may have been some fine print I wasn’t aware of. I would hate to see my family jewels on your family’s mantle.”

I laughed. “You’re so funny, Jack. My dad is all bark and no bite, you know that. We’ve slept on the same bed before, remember?”

“Yeah, but Dad was in the very next room.”

It was cute to hear him refer to my dad as just “Dad.” As he walked into my dorm room, he looked around. This was the second time he had been in a college dorm room. He seemed to find it amusing, unlike the first time when he was putting his fist in Harrison’s face. This time he was able to look around and soak it all in.

“This room is just so…so…small,” Jack noted.

“That’s because it
is
small.”

He shook his head in disbelief. “I can’t believe you’d rather live here than commute from Blue River to Middleburg. Don’t you miss having…space?”

I cocked my head to the side. “Are we going to have that conversation again?”

Jack laughed. “No. No we are not. I don’t want to waste one minute of our alone time having the Cali-Tana debate.” He decided a while ago saying “The Great California-Montana-Move-or-Not-To-Move Debate of Jack and Addy” had become too lengthy and nicknamed it Cali-Tana.

“Me neither.”

It was so extremely late, or early, depending how we chose to look at it, that we barely managed any further conversation. Jack turned his back while I changed into my pajamas. He took his shirt off. I did not turn my back. He slept in his jeans and even laid on top of Kate’s comforter, insisting he would feel uncomfortable lying under her covers. I offered him one of my blankets. We were now facing each other with only the slightest of light illuminating our faces.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” I whispered. “I can’t believe the sacrifice you made today. You overcame your fear of flying and came here just for me.”

He whispered back, “You’re worth it. I would sacrifice that much and more if I had to.”

“I love you, Jack.”

“I love you, too.”

Those were our last words as we drifted off to sleep.

********

The sound of twisting metal was unbearable. I clapped my hands over my ears. Someone was nearby and moaning, as if in pain. “I can’t find you! I love you! Hold on!” I screamed. It was so dark and cold. I shivered and started to run. Someone was hurt but I couldn’t help them. I tripped and fell on a rock. My knee was cut but I couldn’t feel the pain. I could hear crying, no, sobbing. I heard heart-wrenching sobbing.

34. Witness

In October, when I returned from “Hillbilly Ville,” as Sheridan now called it, my confrontation with her went about as well as I had expected. It was nasty and painful. She tried to defend her actions by stating it had been in my best interest to get Jack out of my life. She had deliberately lied to him about Branson, thinking he would just let me go. I told her she had obviously underestimated his love for me as demonstrated by his arrival at my dorm room. I could tell it completely shocked yet impressed her that he got on a plane and came to see for himself if her words had been true, but she tried to downplay it. At one point she referred to him as a stupid hick. It was all I could do to not punch her in the face even though I threatened to do so. She told me I was all talk and no action. I told her she was a little bit
too much
action. It went downhill from there. We exchanged unfriendly fire until we decided that no longer speaking to one another was a great idea.

In November, I spent week after week struggling through my studies. I couldn’t focus because all I wanted to do was hang out with Jack. Kate and I had become good friends and that helped pass the time, but it just wasn’t the same.

My birthday in Montana remained on my mind. When I looked up to the California sky, I couldn’t help but remember Montana’s sky. During that quick trip, Jack shared a miracle with me. He took me to The Beach where we waited to see the Northern Lights.

When the Northern Lights made their appearance, my appreciation for God’s miracles rose by leaps and bounds. The star-lit sky reflected spires of green and blue, tipped with purple. It was an amazingly beautiful sight. Jack said it paled in comparison to me.
He is way too kind but that’s just one of a million little things I love about him.

By mid-December, I was back in Montana. I was having the same dream I had been having for months. It was exactly as it had been in October and I always woke up with a feeling of desperation and the knowledge someone I loved had been hurt.

I popped straight up in my bed, my forehead donned with beads of sweat.
Where am I
? I had been dreaming, but I still heard sobbing.
I remember now. I’m in Blue River and I’m home for winter break.
I was briefly disoriented but the crying I heard was real and coming from downstairs.

“No…no…
please
, this can’t be…oh, Bill…no…no…” cried Mom. Something was wrong—very wrong. I moved to the door and opened it so I could hear. It was confirmed.
I’m not dreaming.

“Where have they taken him?” asked Dad. “Okay, we’re on our way.” I could tell he disconnected the call.

Dad’s voice didn’t sound right. I could tell he was ready to lose control. He was ready to cry yet keeping himself steady. There was business to do and if Dad knew anything, it was business.

As I stepped slowly out of my room, a floor board creaked. I remained at the top of the stairs, terrified to know what was happening.

“Bill, we need to tell Addy. We need to wake her and leave immediately. I’ll get my clothes on while you get Addy.” Mom’s words were rushed and a mixture of panic and control.

Dad put one foot on the first step. He looked up, our eyes met, and he broke down into tears.

“Dad! What’s wrong?” Panic took control of me. I flew down the stairs, wrapping my arm around him. I searched his face for the answer as dread hung in the air like a bad odor.

“Addy…it’s…it’s...” He choked back a sob. “It’s Aaron. He’s been in accident. He and his friends were in a bad accident.”

I was afraid to ask, but needed to know. “Is he…alive?”

“They went off an embankment outside of town. They were pinned under the car for quite a while before anyone even noticed them.” He kept shaking his head in disbelief.

“Dad…is Aaron…alive?” I demanded an answer.

Again, he choked back a sob. “Yes, he’s alive and he’s at St. Mary’s Hospital in Middleburg. We need to leave now, Addy. Please, get your clothes on. Let’s go.” He recomposed himself.

“Right…right…” My brain was still trying to process the news I just received as I turned to go to my room and get ready.

“Addy,” I turned back around. “We don’t know Aaron’s condition or how bad he’ll look so…just…be prepared. They flipped over and were crushed. To what extent, we don’t know. Just…be prepared... for…” Dad’s words trailed off as his voice cracked. I could tell he was preparing for the worst possible scenario. I simply couldn’t wrap my mind around what we would see when we got to the hospital.

As soon as we were all in the car, we sped down the road as fast as conditions would allow. It was no wonder they had been in an accident. Fresh snow would have been easy to drive on but these roads were pure, black ice. I couldn’t help but wonder if Aaron had screwed up on his first outing since being ungrounded. For this last grounding, my dad had found a bottle of tequila in the Mercedes. I was frustrated with him because he seemed to be doing so well but it seemed like for every three steps forward, he eventually took six steps back.

My parents talked back and forth, at times raising their voices, arguing about whose decision it was to concede and let him go out tonight, which was now last night since it was nearly one o’clock in the morning.

My dad’s next words rocked my world and turned it upside down and inside out.

“You were right, Maggie. I never should have doubted you. I’m so sorry.”

“Bill, not now,” hushed Mom.

“No, now. I should have never talked you into coming to Montana. You were right. Aaron needed an intervention. He needed actual rehab.”

“Bill…” Mom attempted to interject and stop him from continuing, but he persisted.

What the hell is he talking about?!

“Just because I was able to overcome my addiction alone didn’t mean Aaron could. I was so selfish in wanting to move here. I just thought a fresh start for him…for us…” Dad’s voice trailed off.

Dad had an addiction? Mom didn’t want to move? Mom wanted Aaron in rehab? My head is spinning!

“Bill, remember what the counselor said. We chose to make this move together and I stand by that decision,” said Mom.

Counselor? What counselor?

“No, I bullied you, Maggie. I bullied you into the decision to move and I used our rocky marriage to my advantage.”

Rocky marriage? I’m so confused.

“Honey, please. Stop,” whispered Mom as she nodded in my direction.

This has to be a dream. I seriously feel sick to my stomach.

I wanted to either wake up from this nightmare or scream out all my questions, but there never seemed to be an appropriate moment. The tension in the car was so thick I could have cut it with a butter knife. They knew I was listening and most likely, my dad was wondering if he was still my hero. I had spent so much time being angry with my mom that I never once stopped to think their lives weren’t perfect either. I had never thought about how much Aaron’s issues caused marital problems for them and I never knew that my Dad ever had an addiction issue.

After what seemed like an eternity, we arrived at St. Mary’s Hospital. The harsh winter wind blew heavy gusts, blasting snowflakes in our faces. I pulled my jacket tighter around me. My parents were walking at lightning speed whereas I found myself not very anxious to see Aaron. I wasn’t sure I could handle seeing him hurt. My legs felt like lead. Dad had to reach back and pull me by my coat sleeve.

The Intensive Care Unit was on the seventh floor. With the exception of the beeps that indicated breath and life, it was as quiet as a library. I hated the smell of hospitals. I could only think of all the time we had spent with my Grandpa Davis before he passed away, succumbing to cancer. The smell was so ingrained in my nostrils that each time I entered a hospital, I couldn’t help but relive those not-so-pleasant memories.

We stopped at the nurse’s station and Dad asked where we would find Aaron Davis. My stomach churned. We were told what room he was in and who his doctor was, but I was growing less and less sure I wanted to go with them. Mom thought otherwise as she pulled me forward, heading us in the direction we’d been given.

When we reached his room, I hung back, staying just at the entryway. Even though I tried not to look, I did. Aaron was battered and broken. His eyes were bruised and swollen. I remembered the time I told Aaron it was written in the older sibling bylaws to treat your younger sibling like crap but right now, that didn’t seem quite as funny. Right now, I regretted every ugly and nasty word I had ever said to him. He had more tubes and machines hooked up to him than I had ever seen attached to one person—even more than I had seen on Grandpa Davis.

With the exception of a nurse, Aaron was alone in his room. As she left, she said his doctor would be back shortly. She also suggested we return to the waiting area where the doctor would find us, so we did. We were soon approached by the Blue River Sheriff.
This can’t be good. What had those boys done?
Before he had a chance to speak, we saw Jeff’s parents coming down the hallway.

“Oh, good. You’re all here,” said Sheriff Ron Beatty.

Sheriff Beatty was well known to everyone. He’d been a member of the Blue River Sheriff’s Department for nearly thirty years. He knew every family and had watched kids grow from infant to adult. You could tell it was painful for him to give the details of the accident.

“What happened, Ron? Do you know what happened?” Randy, Jeff’s father, pressed the Sheriff to provide details; his voice was urgent. Each set of parents’ expressions were that of panic and concern. The mothers held hands.

“Hold on, Randy. I think we need to take a seat.”

The parents took a seat while I found a quiet corner where I could hide. We all seemed to be holding our breath, waiting for Sheriff Beatty to reveal the information the boys’ parents desperately needed to hear. Frankly, I could wait. I could tell from the look on his face this wasn’t going to go well. If the parents hadn’t been parents, they would have seen it too.

“Maggie, Bill, Randy, Olivia…I’m not sure what dispatch told you on the phone, but we know the boys were about twenty miles outside Blue River near Acker’s Canyon. We’re not sure why they were there in the dead of winter, but they were. It appears that Jeff was driving and lost control. He was going too fast for the conditions of the road. Once they went over the embankment, they flipped over at least twice. None of them were buckled up so they were ejected, but only a short distance, leaving them trapped by the car. Jeff was trapped at the waist. Aaron nearly escaped, but was trapped on his left arm. We can’t be certain how long they were there, but had it not been for Mrs. Anderson being too afraid to drive and pulling over to the side of the road, no one would have seen the car’s lights.” He shook his head at the realization of what he had just said. “We wouldn’t have found them until later today, if then.” He paused and shook his head again. He was about to get to the bad part. “The smell of alcohol on all of the boys was strong. The doctor ordered a blood alcohol level test, but there’s no mistaking that they had been drinking.”

“Excuse me, you said ALL of the boys?” asked my mom.

Sheriff Beatty paused like he really didn’t want to say his next words because they were so horrible.

He audibly gulped and said, “John Taylor was with them…and…he died at the scene.”

“Oh, dear Lord,” cried the moms in unison.

Everyone was reeling from the news.
That could have been Aaron.

Before Sheriff Beatty could continue with any other information, the boys’ doctor arrived. His name was Doctor McKlellin. He donned a traditional, white physician’s jacket and a black stethoscope hung around his neck. His face was young, but his temples were speckled with bits of grey.

Sheriff Beatty excused himself, stating he would return in a while.

“Hello. I’m Doctor McKlellin. I’m treating your boys. I would like to take a moment to speak with each of you privately.”