More than Just Sex (11 page)

Sex Sleuth Signal 2: Playing with herself

Don’t be rude! I’m sure you’ve often noticed women in bars and restaurants playing with a necklace or bracelet, or perhaps tugging gently at an earring. You have, right? What might appear like a nervous habit is in fact a clear indication that she is interested, and would like to have something else to idly fondle… you!

If she is making any of those gestures while holding eye contact with you, then you are a fool to not walk straight over to her and introduce yourself. Perhaps with one of your best ‘stock’ S.A.S stories that instantly reinforces your brand identity. Or you could take the rather obvious hint and just compliment her on her jewellery (avoiding the urge to ask if it’s too tight, of course). Any time you are in a social situation and you notice a woman doing something a little unusual, you can be sure of one thing: she means it!

Sex Sleuth Signal 3: The shoe dangle

This is perhaps my personal favourite and the time when guy logic and girl subtlety get their wires completely crossed. You’re sitting at a bar when you notice that the girl at the other end of the bar has one shoe dangling rather precariously from her toes. It’s pointing in your direction and apart from wondering when it’s going to fall off completely, you likely find yourself wondering why women wear such uncomfortable shoes in the first place, so uncomfortable that they have to slip them off in bars and would often rather walk home barefoot at the end of the night than put their heels on again.

I have no idea either, but I do know that a shoe dangling in your direction has nothing to do with discomfort. It is yet another surefire signal that she would like to know your name and very likely your choice for dinner.

The next two subconscious sex signals are very likely to be used in conjunction with others. If you want to test whether you are getting the right vibe, don’t just latch onto one and dive headlong in. She may have looked down because she is shy, she may be dangling her shoe because she has smelly feet and her jewellery may well be too tight, but the chances of all three being true and therefore misread completely are virtually nil. Here’s another two to check in with for even greater security.

Sex Sleuth Signal 4: The open wrist

Pay particular attention to the direction that her dominant wrist is pointing. If it is pointing towards you – in other words, if she has opened her wrist to you then this is a serious signal of intent. She is very clearly comfortable allowing herself to be vulnerable to your advances and open to them when they come. Her hand may be in exactly the same place, but if she has her wrist pointing towards herself she is protecting her vulnerability and you’ll do well to move on to someone else.

But the next one you can have hours of fun with.

Sex Sleuth Signal 5: Hair play

In exactly the same way as you cannot mask your eye movements, it is almost impossible for a woman to mask
her hair play. If she likes you, she will touch her hair, it’s as simple as that. If she likes you a lot, she might play with her hair a little more, especially at the ends. If she really likes you a lot, she will more than likely move her hair to one side to reveal more of her neck, shoulders and chest. As I have said before, women don’t give off any signals without meaning, and any time you see a woman revealing more of herself to you then you can be sure it is fully backed up with intent. Sometimes there can be a slight delay in the hair play though, so wait a few seconds and see what else you notice. Airports, train stations and pavement cafés are great places to spot it, if not necessarily do something about it. Not much point chatting up the girl in departures, only to learn she is just about to take a long-haul flight home. Knowing that you are in a relatively safe environment, however, where an escape is easy means such places are ideal to practise your skills. That said, I do know of one guy who did this, only to find that the girl in question was on the same flight as him. They changed seats to continue chatting and have been together ever since. Like I said earlier, Miss Perfect often comes when you least expect her…

Got it?

KEY SECRET TIP!

OK, there’s just one more thing before you approach her.

Is she an introvert or an extrovert? That’s really the only other thing you need to know. Initially you’ll
need to make an educated guess based on the limited information you have available, you’ll get a much better idea when you’re actually chatting to her but keep this in mind: introvert or extrovert?

An introvert doesn’t like talking about herself, fact! So keep conversation flowing and about anything but her and never ever make her feel like you are interviewing her. An extrovert, however, loves nothing more than talking about herself. Just something to keep in mind and you’ll not go far wrong.

And one more thing before you go live – let’s just check you’re really at your best.

TIME TO MOVE YOUR ‘BUT’: IT’S NOT HER, IT’S YOU!

Take a second to remind yourself of your rating (honestly) on the catch-potential scale. That’s your number as far as the opposite sex is concerned. Remember that as a rule of thumb, you will struggle to attract a girl whose perceived score is more than one number above yours. That’s on a good day with a following wind, and using your new skills properly.

So if your score is, for example, a 6, then a 6 out of 10 girl or lower is what you can hope for. OK maybe a 7 on a good day. Now, if that’s fine for you, then great, skip this section and get out there and find her. Come back when you are ready to make a solid relationship stick. I’m guessing, however, that you want to pull the best catch you can and, having come this far, you are no doubt wondering
what else I have up my sleeve and what else I have gained from hanging out with some of the world’s most successful and beautiful women. It was a tough job, but like I said I did it for you!

The first thing you need to do is to raise your perceived score so that the hottie actually thinks you are on her level. Think about it: if you’re a good 6 yourself, you wouldn’t be that interested in a 3. She’d have to have a really good ‘personality’, right? So why should it be any different the other way round? It’s not, and you are kidding yourself if you believe any of those books that tell you ‘any guy can pull a supermodel, just send money and I’ll tell you how…’ Save your money and use it to raise your game to at least a similar level as hers.

If you raise each of your scores by just one point you will already be much closer to your desired match level. But why stop there? Why not use this as the catalyst to be the very best you can? The prize is so worth it: a lifetime of happiness with the girl or girls of your dreams, and much more.

But here’s the thing: if you have one area that is letting you down, it makes sense to start right there. From speaking to lots of women, I have found that the same phrase comes up time and time again, and it can be a killer for you and your chances: ‘He’s a good guy,
but…
’

There’s a school of thought in psychology, which says, ‘everything that comes in front of a “but” is instantly wiped out by that three-letter word’. If you want to get down to some four-letter wording, first you have to get past the
three-letter word… but! Don’t worry – it can be much easier than you might realize.

Look again at your perceived score sheet.

YOUR CATCH-POTENTIAL

Where is your biggest dip? The bit that gives you the biggest hill to climb? Plotting your catch-potential on a graph will help you identify the areas you need to work on:

If you work on your strengths, you will just create a bigger problem for yourself and an even more bumpy relationship road. This is where it might get a little uncomfortable but your weaker areas are exactly the things you MUST concentrate on.

The smoother the road the smoother the relationship. It is as simple as that.

Pick your weaknesses and start now, by asking yourself: within that broad grouping, what is the one thing that I can do that will make the biggest difference? And therefore: where’s the biggest win to be had? What do you think might be after your ‘but’?

‘He’s a nice guy, but…’

Stop kidding yourself if you think it’s not there. It is and she’s spotted it, and has likely had exactly that conversation both in her head and with her girlfriends. Make no mistake, if you wonder if they’ve discussed you, they have! Despite what she might say, she has discussed you totally frankly and in more detail than we guys ever would. While you cannot control those situations, you absolutely can control what comes after your ‘but’, and it’s time to move it.

We all have a ‘but’, but the earlier you can get it in the sentence the better. You want more after your ‘but’, so you need to deal with it.

For example: ‘He’s a bit short, but (and therefore negated) he’s handsome, kind and fun’. The higher your score gets then the smoother your road and the more comes after your ‘but’ so that the small negatives, and we all have them, are quickly countered by ALL the positives the come
after
your ‘but’.

So, you have perfected your brand, you’ve moved your ‘but’, you are giving off exactly who you really are and you’re starting to hang out in environments where those virtues are valuable. You are spotting the subtle subconscious sex signals that she is attracted to you. So let’s make sure you know what to do about it when she starts to nibble your worm.

SNEAKY STORY!

I happen to know that one of the GoDesses you’re learning from here once started a conversation with a guy on the Tube by asking if she could pop some of the huge roll of bubble wrap he was carrying. Of course he said yes and also managed to
GOOOW!!!
(
Get Out Of Own Way
) for long enough to ask her out for a drink… which, of course, she accepted.

Now I know some of you will be sitting thinking ‘bubble wrap, right, great idea… and much less effort than a puppy!’ But that’s not really the point. The point is that hot women are interested in us and are not afraid to show it; it’s just that we are usually too oblivious to notice.

For many more psychologically proven techniques go to
www.morethanjustsex.com

OK, I don’t mean that literally, but how many times do you find yourself sitting in a bar with the object of your desire in your sights and a small voice in your head making helpful comments like, ‘Wow, she’s gorgeous. Oh my G.o.D. she’s hot…’

Now while it’s obviously a good sign that you’re attracted to the hot chick that has just walked in, it’s a brave man who can overcome the anxiety that such thoughts inevitably create and walk up to her with your best version of ‘Hey babe, it’s your lucky day!’ Even if she
is
dangling a shoe and twirling her silky locks in your direction.

We have already said that we do not control our thoughts, they just happen to us. The problem most of us guys have, however, is that those ‘helpful’ thoughts trip us up and put so much pressure on us that it’s impossible to just be our funny, witty, charming selves because we have this small adolescent voice in our heads making reruns of our favourite teen movies where Heather Locklear (there
is a G.o.D. and Heather be thy name) takes her place on a pedestal of hormone-induced, sweaty-palmed, drooling schoolboy desire.