More Than Her (20 page)

Once the buzz had faded, I finally managed to open my eyes, and he was there, inches from my face. A smile on his lips. Only he was blurry. I blinked a few times to correct my vision.

"Hey, pretty girl," he said quietly, the same time he removed his fingers. "Welcome back."

Logan
 

I quietly opened her bedroom door to let her know that I'd be back. I didn't want her to think I'd forgotten our plans to spend the day together.

I shook her gently, but she didn't wake. I shook her a little harder. "What the hell?" she said, her words muffled by the pillow.

"I just wanted to let you know that I'll be back later."

"Logan?"

"No, the other guy you let finger fuck you."

She gasped and sat up straight, a look of shock on her face.

I chuckled.

She opened her mouth to say something, but then closed it. Her shoulders slumped as she said, "What time is it?" She reached to her nightstand for her phone, "Five-thirty? Five fucking thirty! Who the hell gets up at this time?"

"College athletes," I said, sitting on her bed and rubbing my palm across my jaw.

"Fuck practice, come back to bed." She rested her chin on my shoulder, while her arms went around me from behind.

"I can't." I started to pull her arms off me, because if she asked again, I don't think I could say no.

Instead of letting go, she tightened her hold and wrapped both legs around my waist. I laughed, "What are you doing?"

She made a grunting sound as she pulled as both back until we were lying on the bed. She got out from underneath me and moved so we were side to side. She panted; exhausted from the energy it just took to do what she did. Her face was flush and hair was a mess on her head. I laughed at how cute she looked. She smiled too, looking right in my eyes. And then something took over her face, a completely different emotion. Her smile slowly faded. One of her fingers brushed my cheek. "I love it when you smile," she said quietly. "I love when your dimples show." She kissed one, and then adjusted my head to kiss the other. And then she pulled back, her eyes never leaving mine.

And this
—
this is the moment that I forget my past. I forget that not everyone that loves you is out to hurt you. It's this moment
—
when I let it be okay for someone to love me. Because Amanda and I
—
we
could.
I don't think we do
yet
. But we
could
. One day
—
soon I think
—
we could really fall in love, with each other.
 

I got my phone out of my pocket, and brought up Jake's number. "What are you doing?" she asked, watching me.

"Sending Jake a text."

"Why?"

"To tell him to make up a reason why I'm sleeping in your bed instead of being at practice."

She made a squealing sound as she got back under the covers, making room for me. She wore a huge smile. I took my pants and shirt off and got into bed with her.

"Are you going to be able to get back to sleep?" she asked from next to me.

I put my arm behind her head and pulled her into me. Her head was on my chest, my fingers in her hair, and her body half on top of mine. "Now I will," I told her, kissing her on the head.
 

***

A few hours later we were in the living room, sprawled out on the sofa. We wanted to have a day to just be together, without really doing anything. I planned on taking her out to dinner tonight, and maybe a movie or something afterwards. As much as I wanted to, I was going to try to hold off on sex for a few more dates.

The keyword was
try.

I was sitting down, with the laptop on the arm of the sofa, doing some homework.

She was laying down with her head on my lap, while she read on her e-reader. My fingers played with her hair.

We both looked up when Ethan walked in. He watched us for a moment, before sitting on the arm of the recliner opposite. "Hey, Dimmy, what's that girl's name, you know the one that's friends with Kara? The one with the big..." he trailed off but motioned his hands to indicate boobs.

Amanda snorted, "Kara," she answered, going back to her book.

"No. Not Kara," he said annoyed, "Her friend! Are you even listening to me!
”

"Yes, asshole, Kara's friend with the big boobs is Kara. There's two Kara's"

"Oohhhh," he smiled, then got up and began to leave.

"Wait. Why?" She sat up now and turned to him.

"I'm picking her up later."

"What?" It was my turn to speak. "What happened to Kellie I E?"

"Don't even," he said, shaking his head.

"What happened?" I couldn't help but chuckle.

He sat back down in the recliner, "Dude. She was so annoying. She speaks Internet talk. Like it's an actual thing. I'm not joking. She never laughed. Ever. You know what she'd do instead?"

I could hear Amanda giggling next to me. "What?" she managed to get out.

"She'd say 'LOL' or 'ROFL'."

Amanda laughed harder.

"She said 'OMG' all the time. Every sentence, 'OMG'." He mocked her voice when explaining.
 
"Instead of acting or saying she was confused, she'd actually spell out 'w t f'."

Amanda was all out laughing now, and so am I. She scooted closer to me, and hugged my arm, plastering her face onto it to muffle the sound. My hand landed on her bare leg.

I saw Ethan's eyes catch the movement, but he didn't say anything, just smiled and continued to speak, "I twisted my ankle playing basketball, and when I told her, she didn't ask if I was okay. Guess what she said?"

Amanda shook her head, still laughing.

"Guess!" Ethan said again.

"What? I don't know." Amanda's giggle took over the room. All I could do was watch her.

Ethan answered, "She pouted and said 'Sad face emoticon!'"

She threw her head back in laughter, her eyes starting to water.

"She did not." She shook her head in disbelief.

"Swear it." He got off the sofa and started walking out of the room. He turned just before the door and took in our positions again. "You need to call Ma and let her know everything's okay."

Her face sobered but she nodded.

Then her head was back resting on my lap, and my fingers were in her hair.

And it was pretty damn close to perfect.

***

"I've got a good truth question today." She smiled big, excited. She sat up and got comfortable, turning her body towards me.

"Go for it." I told her, as I positioned us so were face to face, our knees touching.

"Okay. You get the chance to travel the world. All expenses paid. You get flights, accommodation, and food, everything taken care off. But you have to somehow make money to go sightseeing and buy souvenirs and stuff. You can bring three things with you to help you make money. So, you can be like, a street performer or something. Whatever. What do you bring?"

I watched her as she said all this, legs crossed, her hands clasped in front of her, eyes wide, waiting for my response.

And seeing her like this
—
I know what I want.

I want more.

I want her.

"I'd only need one thing."

"But you can bring three," she said, still excited.

I shook my head, looking her straight in the eyes. "I don't need three, I just need one."

"Okaaay...are you going to tell me what it is?"

"Honestly, I don't think you could handle it."

She rolled her eyes, "Come on! Tell me," she pled, her hand on my leg trying to shake the answer out of me.

"Fine!" I told her. She stopped shaking me, but her hand stayed on me. "I'd bring you, Amanda. Just you."

Her eyes widened, before looking down between us. My hands moved to hers and linked our fingers together.

"But...I can't make you any money," she said quietly.

"Amanda." Her eyes lifted to mine. "It doesn't matter where I am in this world, there's nothing else I'd rather see. Just you."

She closed her eyes slowly. I don't know how long I sat there staring at her, her eyes staying closed, before she finally whispered, "Kiss me now, Logan."

So I did.

I slowly moved forward, licking my lips. I rubbed my nose against hers.

She sighed.

My lips brushed hers so lightly I don't know if she felt it.

Then her phone sounded.

We both jerked back from the sudden interruption.

She let her ring tone play. It was Hey There Delilah by the Plain White T's. She smiled dreamily.

"Excuse me," she said, standing up and leaving the room. She put the phone to her ear and spoke, "Well well," she started, "you finally find time in your busy schedule to call me." I heard her laugh before the bedroom door closed.

Fifteen minutes later she was back. She stood in front of me, biting her lip, playing with the hem of her shirt.

I waited

She opened her mouth to speak, and then snapped it shut. She did that a couple more times before finally sighing and sitting down next to me.

I raised my eyebrows, waiting for her to speak.

"So." She looked down at her phone. "That was my friend Ty."

"Friend? You need to leave the room to talk to a friend?"

She shook her head. "He's uh, he's my ex boyfriend."

I nodded. "And?"

She blew out a small breath, and then took my hand in both of hers. This must be bad. "Please don't get mad
—
"

I interrupted her. "You should never start an explanation with that."

"I know. But you will, and I don't want you to."

Now I was really worried. "What is it?"

"Promise me you won't get mad?"

"I can't promise that."

"Fine," she stood up to leave.

I pulled on her arm. "I promise."

Whipped.

She sat back down, closer this time. "We need to go out and buy your own bed. Like, now."

"What the fuck?" I almost yelled.

"You promised," she warned.

I tried to settle down. "Explain."

"Ty's coming to visit for a few days and I need you to not-"

I opened my mouth to interrupt her but she covered it with her hand.

She closed her eyes and took a few calming breaths, her hand still covering my mouth. Then she opened them and continued, like she was talking to a child. "I need you to sleep in your own bed tonight."

She slowly removed her hand.

"That doesn't explain a fucking thing, Amanda. What the fuck?"

"He can't know that you and I are
—
whatever you and I are."

I waited for her to continue but she didn't.

"I don't understand." I stood up and started pacing. I was so fucking confused. "Are you still holding out hope that you guys will get back together or something?"

"What!" she guffawed. "No. Not at all."

"Then what, Amanda? I don't get it." I was yelling.

She stood up, too. Then forcefully sat me back down on the sofa. Then she sat so she was straddling my hips with a hand on each side of my face. "Quit it. Stop being pathetic."

I rolled my eyes; my hands went to her ass, bringing her closer to me. She leans her forehead against mine and kissed me quickly a few times.

"Stop using your body to distract me," I told her.

She kissed me again, deeper this time.

I gripped her ass, tighter this time.

'Wait." I pulled away. "Why don't you want him to know about us?"

She pulled back, her eyes roaming my face. "It's complicated. I can't tell you. Not now. But soon, okay?"

"I don't like all these secrets you're keeping from me."

She smiled sadly, "Neither do I, Logan. Trust me."

***

My phone had been blowing up from the coaching staff, I guess because I missed practice this morning. I was still deciding whether or not it was worth whatever punishment I was about to receive.

She came to the field with me, but waited in the car while I went in and took whatever punishment they had for me for bailing on practice.

Turned out they were calling me for a whole other reason.

She must've sensed it, because the second I'm in the car, she turned to me. "What's wrong? What happened?"

"They need me to start."

She looked at me, and waited. I'm guessing she didn't get it.