More Than Her (17 page)

I didn't care.

"Why do you call her Dimmy?"

"Don't you dare tell him!" I narrowed my eyes at him.

He crossed his arms over his chest with a smug grin on his face. The exact same one Logan wore. I looked between the two of them.

"Amanda the Demander," Ethan sang.

"Shut up!" I ground out.

"She was a little brat when we were kids. You know that girl from Willie Wonka?"

Logan thought for a beat, "The 'I want it now' girl?" he said through a laugh.

Ethan joined him, "That's the one. She was exactly like that. Mom, Dad and I used to call her Amanda the Demander; eventually it just got shortened to Dimmy. It stuck." I threw a pillow at his head. He blocked it, chuckling to himself.

"Is that all?" he asked. Smug asshole.

"That's all," I said through gritted teeth.

He walked out laughing to himself.

"Amanda the Demander." Logan repeated Ethan's annoying tone. "I like it."

"Shut up."

He laughed.

"You
’
re lucky you don't have any brothers or sisters so I can dig up dirt on you."

The moment the words were out of my mouth, his features straightened and he tensed slightly, looking away from me. "Yeah, lucky me," he deadpanned.

I don't know why, or what'd changed, but he stood up and started to walk out of the room.

I stood and pulled him back down to the bed.

"Did I say something?"

He avoided making eye contact.

"Logan?"

He looked at me.

I pouted.

He smiled.

And it's all I ever wanted.

"You got your question?" he asked.

I thought for a second, while he got more comfortable sitting in front of me. He took my hands in his and kissed the inside of each wrist, the whole time, smiling up at me.

I bit my lip to stop myself from leaning in and kissing him. Because I wanted to. So damn bad. "When was the last time you had a moment? Like the ones you told me about. Remember?"

He nodded.

I continued, "What was the last thing worth remembering like that?"

He looked at me for so long, I didn't know if he was going to answer. Then he took a breath, "That day I saw you at the library, after we talked at the bus stop. That was the moment, that for the first time in my life, I wanted to
believe
in second chances."

Logan

When I woke up the next morning, she wasn't in her bed.

She was sitting in the living room, coffee in hand. I sat next to her, but her eyes didn't move from staring down at the floor.

I put my arm around her and brought her into me. She didn't resist. "When do you have to leave?"

She removed my arm and stood up. "Tomorrow."

"What?" I followed her as she walked to the kitchen. She put her mug in the sink then turned to face me.

My forearm landed on her shoulders. "I don't want you to go."

"I don't want to go, Logan." Her voice broke.

"So what do we do?" I put both my arms around her neck and pulled her into me.

Her arms went around my waist. We held each other tight.

"
We
do nothing. You stay here and go to college and I go home and work."

"But I don't want you to go," I repeated. Maybe if I said it enough, she wouldn't. I pulled back and rest my forehead on hers.

"So you've said," she whispered.

I licked my lips.

I saw her lick hers.

"So I've said," I breathed out.

I felt her fingers tighten, gripping the back of my shirt. Her eyes fall shut and she moved her head to the side so her nose rubbed against mine.

"Amanda?"

"Mm?"

"I really,
really
want you to stay."

I brought her in closer again so her body was flush with mine.

She moaned.

"In fact," I started. "I really, really
need
you to stay."

And then I kissed her, softy. Just enough that our lips touched.

And that's how we stayed, for seconds, minutes, hours, who knows.

Our arms around each other, holding on. Mouths touching, but not moving. Eyes closed. Breaths heavy.

And then I moved.

I pushed her slowly until her back was to the counter, and my mouth moved on hers, slowly kissing her.

But she didn't kiss back. And it fucking hurt. Because as much as I wanted her, I think I
needed
her more. I've never needed anything more than her.

When I pulled away, I could see the tears forming in her eyes. "We can't, Logan." Her voice broke again. She straightened up.

"Why not?" I whispered, still holding onto her tightly.

"Because." She pulled back and moved her head to my shoulder. "Because you'll be here and I'll be there."

"So what?"

She was quiet for a while, before she removed herself from my hold completely and leaned back on the counter, crossing her arms in front of her. "So, college relationships are hard. You may be with someone, or even love them. But when you don't get that something physically, it's hard not to be tempted. And there are way too many temptations in college."

I shook my head at her, "Any asshole that has you, and is stupid enough to lose you, is a fucking idiot, Amanda. Trust me. I would know."

***

Logan: I need your help.

Dad: Anything.

***

I was walking to the field entrance for practice a few hours later, when I saw her. There was always a bunch of people waiting around outside the gates, but I didn't expect to see Amanda. She was sitting cross legged on a bench, loose shirt hanging off her shoulder and those cut off shorts. Her eyes cast downwards, focused on the textbook in her lap.

A couple girls called out my name, getting her attention. I ignored them and walked straight to her.

"What's up?" I dropped my gear bag on the floor in front of the bench and sat next to her. "How did you know I was here?"

"Micky." She shrugged, closing her book and putting it in her bag. She turned to face me, legs still crossed.
 

The sun hit her eyes, making them extra blue. She squinted. Her nose scrunched. She was pretty fucking adorable.

Her hand moved to her head to block out the sun, but it didn't work.

I laughed.

She giggled.

I took my cap off, and put it on her head. It was way too big and fell over her eyes. Her body slumped and she pouted. I laughed again, adjusting it so I could see her face, and moved to the side to block out the sun.
“
Better?" I asked.

"Much."

"So?"

"So."

"What?"

"What?"

"Huh?"

"Huh?"

I laughed and gently shook her with my hands on her upper arms. "Quit being cute, what are you doing here?"

I shook her so much my cap fell over her eyes again.

She pouted, again.

It was fucking adorable,
again.

The sound of whips formed in my mind.

"So my mom rang earlier."

I tried to contain my smile. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. She got a job. Can you believe it?"

"Huh. Luck must be on her side."

"Yeah, it could be luck. Or it could be something else. I mean, she got a job as a receptionist at a doctors practice."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. A Doctor Matthews..."

I bit my lip to try to stop the huge grin that'd taking over my face.

She continued, "Yeah. He called her...said a friend of his recommended her services. Apparently they were desperate. She starts tomorrow."

"Well, that's good, right?"

"Yeah. It just seems like a coincidence, you know?"

"What is?"

"That she gets a job a with a Doctor
Matthews
..." She paused for dramatic effect. "Hey!" She shoved me lightly, exaggerating a gasp. "Your dad's a doctor, right? A Doctor Matthews?"

I shook my head. "What are you saying? Are you accusing me of something?" I took her hands in mine.

"Yeah, I am. I'm accusing you of being
awesome
!"

I laughed.

"Thank you, Logan." She scooted closer to me. She had our linked hands between us.

I moved them to the side so I could get closer to her. "You're welcome."

And then she kissed me. On my lips. Just once. But it was enough. I'd done at least one thing right by her.

"What are you doing now?" I asked, our fingers still locked.

"Probably catch the bus home."

I really didn't like her catching the bus. It's not far, but it's far enough. Plus, I think I remember Micky telling me about a guy licking her elbow once.

"I've only got a short session. I'll be done in an hour. Can you hang around here?"

She bit her lip, looking down. "Okay."

"Okay." I nodded my head.

She took my cap off and placed it back on my head. Then scrunched her nose and flipped it backwards.

"Better," she said, before moving in and kissing me.

Amanda

I knew the girls outside the stadium were laughing at me, and I get it. Logan Matthews talking to
me
. It was funny, but whatever. Fuck them. It'd only been about half an hour since he left but the temperature had dropped a shitload and I didn't bring a sweater. I was freezing my ass off waiting for him. I was about to text him and tell him that I'd just meet him at home when I heard those girls giggling again. I looked up to see him walking towards me. My eyes went wide when I took him in. It's the first time I'd seen him in his baseball gear and holy shit he looked good, better than good.

"Busted!" He smirked.

Shit. I can't even deny it.

When he got closer, I could see him holding his team jacket in his hand. "You cold?" He started to open the jacket.

"Yeah." I yelled. I don't know if he could hear me over the sound of the wind.

He stood in front of me, and put his jacket over my shoulders. I put my arms in the holes.

"Turn around," he said.

I was confused but I did it anyway.

He pulled out my hair from the under the jacket, and I zipped it up. When I looked up, I could see the girls glaring at me, their hands covering their mouths as they talked shit.

He turned me to face him, but his eyes were narrowed at the girls.

"You came out just to give me this?" I asked, trying to get his attention.

His eyes moved from them to me. "Well, yeah. I can't have you sitting out in the cold."

And just then, a crack of thunder sounded and the rain poured down on us, instantly soaking us.

"Holy shit!" He picked up my bag, grabbed my hand and led me inside the stadium.

The few seconds it took for us to get in, was all the rain needed to get us drenched.

Once we were safely inside, he took his cap off and shook out his hair. I watched him. This boy
—
no, this man, looking hot as hell in his uniform. And I wanted him. Bad.

He puts his cap back on and turned to face me. Then a smile pulled on his lips and I knew he'd caught me, again.

He moved closer to me, and started walking me backwards until I hit a wall. His hands gripped my waist, and his body covered mine.

"Busted." He whispered in my ear. "If I catch you looking at me like that again, we're going to have a huge fucking problem." One hand moved under my jacket so it touched my bare back. His skin on mine was scorching. "Because from now on, when I close my eyes, I'm going to see you, in my uniform, and
nothing
else." He made a moaning sound from deep in his throat. "Fuck baby, I'm getting hard just thinking about it." He gripped my thigh and lifted it so my leg wrapped around him and he was in between me. I could feel him, hard, against my center,

I couldn't help the moan that escaped. I tried to swallow, but my throat was too dry. Then his mouth was on my neck, sucking, slowly moving higher. I tilted my head, wanting more of him. His lips brushed against mine. His tongue darted out and licked my bottom lip. And then he backed away. But I gripped his shirt in my hands and pulled him back, bringing his mouth to mine.

And I kissed him.