Missing Your Smile (40 page)

Susan slipped on her apron, washed up, and then joined Laura behind the counter, offering a quick, “Sorry, it took longer than I thought.” Laura nodded and the two worked steadily as the lunch crowd surged in for the next forty-five minutes.

When there was finally a let-up, Laura said, “Let's get something to eat ourselves before someone else comes in. You can fill me in on the news. I hope you could talk some sense into Teresa's head.”

“I'm still trying to absorb what happened,” Susan said, following Laura to the kitchen.

“I take it there's good news?” Laura pulled meat and cheese from the refrigerator.

“I guess so. Teresa wants to go Amish.”

“She wants to ‘go Amish'? Do you think that's even possible?”

Susan shrugged. “
Mamm
made the suggestion in her letter, but it will be very hard. Not impossible though. People have done it before.”

“Now that's a strange twist of events,” Laura declared. “Did you suggest it?”

“No,” Susan replied. “That would have been the last thing I would have thought of. Like I said, even though
Mamm
mentioned it, I didn't take the suggestion seriously. I don't think
Mamm
did either. Teresa came up with the idea on her own. Which is
gut
. Teresa will need all the resolution she can find in the days ahead. If I had talked her into the plan, it might have made things worse.”

“Amish!” Laura mused. “I guess it might work. You never know. Do you think Teresa will be welcomed into the community? She doesn't exactly fit the Amish profile.”

“That seemed to be Teresa's biggest concern, but I don't think it's a problem. The Amish judge a person's current actions as much as their past. What concerns me more than anything is Teresa's high ideals. She thinks being Amish is almost heavenly. She doesn't seem to realize the Amish aren't perfect either.”

“That could be a problem,” Laura agreed. “There's no heaven on this earth, anywhere we go.”

“Laura, there's one more thing…”

“What's that?”

“She won't go unless I go with her.”

Laura was silent for a minute. “You already planned on going sometime, so you will go with her, won't you?”

“I think I have to. I keep telling her how I'd do just about anything to help her. So how can I say no?”

“When are you leaving?”

“I don't know. Maybe next week,” Susan said as she followed Laura out to the front with their sandwiches.

“That soon?”

“The sooner the better, I think. We have good midwives in the community. And this way the clinic doesn't have to be burdened with the hospital costs.”

“How is she feeling?” Laura asked. “She's not due until December, so you don't have to worry about her going into labor on the train.”

“It was Teresa's idea as much as mine,” Susan said. “She can't wait now that's it's decided. I know my head is still spinning from the suddenness of it. Any advice you have is welcome.”

“I don't have any, really,” Laura said. “You seem to be doing well enough by yourself. You will have your hands full, that's for sure. You probably never thought your adventure to the
Englisha
world would end up like this.”

“I didn't,” Susan agreed. “I guess it will be worth it if I can really help Teresa.”

“Will you be coming back?” Laura asked.

Susan hesitated. Finally she said, “I don't know. I've been delaying a decision about going for a visit. But going for and with Teresa, I may have to stay. At least until she's settled, that is.”

“It may be difficult, you know. You could be asked to stay for her. That might be a big sacrifice.”

“Yes. But maybe that's why God brought me here in the first place,” Susan replied. She then grinned and added, “But, hey! I have my driver's license now. If I decide I want to come back, I'll just buy a car and be on my way!”

“That's hard to imagine!” Laura laughed.

“I think so too,” Susan said. “It's hard to believe I even have a license! But then I look and it's right here in my purse as sure as the sun is shining!”

They ate their sandwiches then, each wrapped in her own thoughts.

“Well, I'm relieved about Teresa's situation, that's all I can say,” Laura finally said. “This could have turned out quite differently.”

After another few moments of silence, Laura spoke again.

“Susan, I've been meaning to ask you something…and feel free to say no if it's too much.”

Susan tilted her head. “What is it?”

“Well, the holidays are such an important time of year for the bakery...and I was wondering if you'd consider baking some Amish items for the shop before you leave. And perhaps suggesting some decorations. Amish ones. That would be so neat—and different. I think the customers would like it.”

Susan's face shone. “Of course I will! Even if it means staying longer. It would be fun.”

Laura was smiling now. “Oh, that's so good of you. Do you have any suggestions?”

Susan shrugged. “There are several good possibilities. Russian tea cakes are an Amish specialty. And buckeyes of course. Peanut brittle. Rocky road cookies. Party mix and turtles. How do those sound?”

Laura laughed. “Wonderful! You're an angel. That's more than enough, and will draw in crowds of people I'm sure. This is so good of you.”

“I'll be more than glad to help,” Susan said. “And for decorations I can color angels and trumpets. Maybe shepherds. Hang them around on the ceiling. That's what Amish school children do.”

Laura beamed over the possibilities.

The door opened behind them, and Susan jumped up to serve the customer.

“I'll take a dozen assorted doughnuts,” the man said. “You can just mix them up.”

Susan grabbed a box and filled it with an assortment.

He paid with cash and left with the box under his arm.

“Did you know that man?” Laura asked.

Susan shook her head. “Should I have?”

“I don't know. He looked familiar, that's all.”

“After a while, I think they all look familiar,” Susan said. “Laura, are you sure you can find someone to take my place when I leave?”

“Oh, I'll find help. Whoever it is won't be as good a worker as you are, but I'll be all right. I've so enjoyed having you here.”

“And I've enjoyed working for you, Laura. You didn't have to hire me even though your sister asked. But you did, and I'm glad.”

“That reminds me. Bonnie called yesterday. She asked about you.”

“That was nice.”

“She thinks the world of you, Susan. And her children love you. Not always an easy thing to accomplish—with other people's children.”

“He's the sweetest boy, Enos is,” Susan said. “I couldn't help but love him.”

“Robby, on the other hand…” Laura started.

“Oh, don't be so hard on Robby,” Susan said. “He'll come around. You've done a good job with him. God will reach Robby. Your son has a good heart. I don't know what I would have done without him!”

“He's told me how much he enjoys and appreciates you, Susan.”

Both women were tearing up. Laura finally said, “This is silly. You're not leaving yet. It's too soon for goodbye.”

Susan nodded and wiped her eyes with a dishtowel. “Shall I start washing up in back?

“Yes, that's a good idea. That is, until another customer comes in. I'll help you maybe get at the Christmas decorations?”

They walked back together. Susan turned on the hot water in the sink, while Laura scraped dishes. The front door opened minutes later, and Laura left to wait on the customer. “I'll call if I need help,” she said over her shoulder.

Susan followed the routine of a hundred washings before, scrubbing hard where the pastry dough had hardened on the metal bowls.

Laura returned and worked on the counters. The bell over the door signaled another customer, and she went to take her order.

By closing time Susan had the last dish and mixing bowl clean. She had found the recipes she needed, filling in the rest from memory.

“Sorry I couldn't help you clean up more,” Laura said when Susan walked out to the counter. “I had just enough customers to keep me from coming back.”

“Don't worry,” Susan assured her. “I was okay, and now things are clean so we can both go home happy.”

“I'll see you tomorrow then,” Laura said.

Susan slipped out of her apron, taking one last look around before heading upstairs.
I'm going home soon. There is no question about it now
. She had mixed emotions about it, but one thing was certain:
Mamm
and
Daett
could see for themselves that she had not been defiled. As she sat down to eat her supper of leftovers, thoughts of home kept running through her head. Soon she would be eating with
Daett
at the head of the table and
Mamm
sitting across from her. How
gut
it would be to hear
Daett's
prayers again. The German words she'd heard from childhood and could almost repeat by heart. She swallowed hard.

Darkness had fallen outside, but the streets glowed as the streetlights came on. Soon she would see darkness again—
real
darkness. The sky would be sprinkled with stars that actually twinkled. And the moon, so glorious over the woods, rising to proclaim that even the night belonged to
Da Hah
.

A loud pounding came from the stairwell. She sat bolt upright in her chair with alarm. It continued, and she hurried to the window to look out. A girl was at the door, wrapped in a thick black coat. Her face was hidden from view.

Susan ran down the steps and jerked open the door.

“Oh, thank you!” Teresa said, plunging inside with relief.

“Teresa!” Susan exclaimed.

“I'm sorry to disturb you so late!” Teresa gasped, sitting down on the steps.

“Is someone after you?” Susan asked.

“No.”

“Are you okay?”

“Can we go upstairs?” Teresa asked as she wrapped her arms around herself. “I need to sit down and get warm.”

“Do you want a blanket?” Susan asked, leading the way, her hand holding Teresa's arm. “You're shivering.”

Teresa nodded.

Susan took her to the couch and then went into the bedroom for a quilt. She wrapped it around Teresa's shoulders. “Is that better?”

“Yes, thank you,” Teresa said, her teeth chattering.

“So what happened?”

“I got scared thinking about what I planned to do,” Teresa said.

“Why?” Susan asked. “Are you changing your mind?”

“No, but I was afraid it was all a dream. I wanted to be close to you. Mom came home early tonight, and I told her about my plans. It nearly broke her heart. You know, the idea that I would be leaving.”

“I wondered what your mom was going to say. I knew she'd miss you. But I was hoping she'd give you her blessing.”

“Well, that's partly it,” Teresa said, her eyes on Susan's face. “Mom cried. She hugged and kissed me, and then she told me to run over here at once. She said she didn't want to think too long about this or she might not be able to let me go. Can I stay with you until we leave? If I stay with Mom, I'm afraid she won't let me go or I'll be too scared to go.”

“Of course,” Susan assured her. “We can talk to Laura about it tomorrow. I don't think she will object. Are you hungry? Surely you have to be after that long walk.”

“Starved!” Teresa said, looking around. “You have it so beautiful up here, Susan.”

“Well, it's Laura's apartment,” Susan said. “We need to get you some food. I was just having leftovers. Does that sound okay to you?”

“Of course!” Teresa said, looking at the food on the table. “Meat and potatoes, gravy, and pecan pie? I don't think I've ever eaten so well.”

“I guess I'm used to good cooking.” Susan smiled and prepared a plate for Teresa.
Already Teresa looks a little better. There is color in her cheeks
, Susan thought.
She's not shaking so much under the blanket. To come here in that cold and being so pregnant, it must have taken a lot of effort. Teresa must have been really determined
.

Susan set the hot plate in front of Teresa and sat down. They both hesitated a moment, and then Susan bowed her head to pray, and Teresa bowed her head too.

When Susan said, “Amen,” Teresa looked up. “Will we pray over meals like this in Amish country?”

“A lot more than that,” Susan said. “
Daett
will pray before and after meals and sometimes before we go to bed.”