Missing Your Smile (38 page)

S
usan threw the covers off at the sound of the alarm. She dressed quickly in the bright glare of the bedroom lamp. One of these days she would use the kerosene lamp again, simply for a calmer awakening. She poured a bowl of cereal for breakfast, and then finally took the time to look out the front window. Seeing the normal gray haze that always seemed to hang over the city, she looked forward to enjoying the early morning stars again when she was home for her visit. Susan turned on the coffee machine and listened to the crackle of the water flowing. At home the water would be hissing in the kettle for
Mamm'
s coffee.
Daett
would want his after breakfast, a quick cup to gulp down before he left for his day working in the fields. Here so much was different—the coffee made by electric machines against the backdrop of car engines revving outside.

But it's still the same coffee
, Susan told herself.
Just as I have learned to do things differently, but I'm still the same person
.

Am I really going home?
Thanksgiving had come and gone. Now it was time to decide. The question raced through her head.
Do I want to go home?
The answer was
yah
and
nee
. It was difficult to explain. Laura said she could have time off whenever she needed it, so that part of the problem was solved. The other issue was Teresa, who was still waiting for an answer about the adoption. Yesterday she had questioned Laura again during their trip to the doctor.

Susan rinsed the dishes under the sink nozzle and rushed downstairs to the bakery. Slipping into an apron, she joined Laura in the kitchen.

“Good morning,” Laura said, looking up. “I heard about your problem with Duane. I'm so sorry.”

Laura certainly doesn't beat around the bush
, Susan thought.

“Yesterday I stopped by his office, and he told me. He said he was really sorry for so completely misunderstanding you. He blames himself totally.”

“So he really thought I was going after him?” Susan asked.

“I guess men around here aren't used to big suppers prepared for them,” Laura said, laughing. “I certainly don't think you did anything wrong.”

“I didn't think so either,” Susan said.

“Of course you didn't,” Laura agreed. “The two of you are miles apart with your cultures. I still think you'd make a great couple, despite the differences.”

“I don't know,” Susan said. “Sometimes I lie in my bed at night and wonder what I'm doing out here in the great big wide world. The differences sometimes scare me. I often wonder if it's worth it. Maybe I should just make
Mamm
and
Daett
happy and go home.”

“I understand. I wouldn't want to persuade you one way or the other, but you know you have a job here as long as you wish—and the apartment.”

“Thanks,” Susan said, rolling out dough.

“The paper was on the stoop when I got here this morning. They finally caught the guy they think was kidnapping and killing the young women.”

“That's wonderful! We can all breathe a sigh of relief.”

“He was in the middle of another abduction when he was caught. The woman screamed and fought hard enough to prompt someone to call 9-1-1. He had all but given up on her and was trying to get away when the police arrived.”

“What did he do with the other girls?” Susan asked. “No one has ever told me.”

“What those kind of men always do,” Laura said. “I'm sure the police hope he'll confess, but it's a long shot. They don't always cooperate.”

“I'm glad he was caught,” Susan said. “I guess that ends that.”

“I sure feel much better about you staying in the apartment,” Laura said. “But you are still welcome anytime at the house.”

“Thanks,” Susan said. She had never told Laura about the purse snatcher. There was no sense in that. She would only worry.

“Have you had word from your parents?” Laura asked. “Teresa seems desperate for news.”

“No, not yet. When I visited her Sunday, I tried to persuade her again to give the child up for adoption here, but she has her heart set, I'm afraid. What will happen when it doesn't work out, I don't know.”

“I don't either,” Laura agreed.

“Do you think Maurice might change her mind and let her keep the child?”

“You know the answer better than I do,” Laura said. “Teresa seems to confide in you more than she does in me. Maybe Maurice will come to her senses, but don't count on it.”

“I hope
something
happens because I'm pretty sure my parents won't be sending the news Teresa wants.”

“No, I don't think so either. I can't see the Amish people taking in a strange child.”

The two women turned their energy fully on their work. Just before the bakery opened, Susan made the coffee and unlocked the doors. The morning rush began soon afterward, with Susan and Laura working side by side.

“I'll sure miss you if you go,” Laura whispered in the middle of getting a roll for a customer. “Having Sherry help will be fine, but it's not going to be the same.”

“I'll miss you, too,” Susan said. “Sherry will work hard I'm sure.”

“Then you
are
going?” Laura asked.

“Probably,” Susan said with a sigh, and the two fell silent.

Just before nine o'clock, Sherry walked in and Susan took off her apron.

“Hi!” Sherry said. “I'm here.”

Sherry was good at serving the customers, but she didn't like getting up at four o'clock in the morning to be at the bakery by five. That was the problem with Susan leaving, but Laura would manage somehow. Robby would help if it came to that.

Robby pulled up outside, and Susan grabbed her purse and went out to his car, waving a quick goodbye to Laura, who was waiting on a customer.

Susan slid into the passenger side seat.

“Are we ready for the day's adventure?” Robby asked.

“This is really nice of you,” Susan said. “I'll never be able to thank you enough for all you've done for me.”

“Whoa, whoa,
whoa!
” he said. “It sounds as if we were at the end of some road somewhere.”

“I know. It feels like it,” she said, as he pulled out into the traffic.

“So where are you going?”

“I've decided to go home sometime before Christmas. Maybe in the first part of December.”

“Mom was talking about the possibility. Are you coming back?”

“I don't know,” she said. “It's hard to tell. But thanks for all you've done for me.”

“So you're going to pass today? Both tests?” he teased.

“I hope so!”

“That's a lot of confidence there.”

“If I don't,” she said, “at least I tried.”

“And what will an Amish girl do with a driver's license?”

“Probably hide it under my pillow.”

“You're not serious, of course.”

“No, but I'll keep it until I decide to be baptized. Until then it will be my escape ticket.”

“That is,
if
you pass.”

“
Yah
, that is,” she agreed.

“If you kill the instructor, they'll never give you a driver's license,” Robby teased.

“You are so funny,” she said.

He pulled into a parking lot at the college minutes later. “Here we are for our first stop. I think I'll come in and read up on my romance life while you check the boxes on your test.”

“That's a good idea. You need all the help you can get!”

Susan went to the information desk and was directed to a room in the back. Two other women were already there, along with a scrawny man who looked like he was in his twenties.

“Are you nervous?” one girl asked when Susan sat beside her.

“Yes,” Susan whispered back.

“Charlotte's my name,” the girl said.

“Susan. I hope we all get good grades.”

“I hope so too,” Charlotte said, crossing her fingers.

A stern-looking lady entered the room and gave instructions to the four. She passed out the tests, face down. When she was done, she said, “You may start now.” She sat down on a chair behind the desk that was in the front of the room.

Susan took a deep breath and began. The questions on the first page looked easy enough…and on the next. She took longer on the math section and rushed to finish.

The instructor said, “Time's up!” She gathered up the test papers and said, “You will receive the results through the mail in a week or so. You can also look for your results online, if you'd like.”

Susan and the others got up to leave.

“How did you do?” Charlotte asked on the way out.

“I hope okay,” Susan said. “How about you?”

“Can't tell. This was my second time. So hopefully a little better than last time.”

“You did fine, I'm sure,” Susan said. She turned and searched for Robby.

“Is the great conqueror of the GED exam finished?” Robby asked from behind her, coming out from an aisle of books. “I think I have my love life all figured out.”

“Let's go!” Susan said, ignoring his comment. “I think the worst still lies ahead of me.”

“The slayer of Robby's car goes forth to ravage the countryside,” he announced while holding the door for her. They walked outside.

“I haven't put so much as a scratch on your car,” she said going down the stairs toward the parking lot. “Not one.”

“No, but you've scared about five years off my life,” he said. “And made me lose five pounds.”

“Well…” She climbed into the car. “I admit you've been a very patient man. So keep practicing, and your girl problems will soon be over.”

He gave her a glare and drove to the DMV.

“Now the real fun begins!” he said as they got out.

“Don't rub it in,” Susan said, steadying herself by putting her hands on the side of the car.

“I think the instructor is over there,” Robby said, pointing.

Susan walked over to the marked car. The instructor was standing by the building and holding a clipboard. He was dressed warmly with a sweater under his suit coat. Susan guessed he was in his mid-forties. He looked calm and patient.

“Eleven o'clock appointment?” he asked.

Susan nodded.

He introduced himself as Bob and asked, “May I see your learner's permit, please?”

Susan handed it to him. He looked it over and gave it back.

“You're ready then?” he asked.

“Yes,” Susan said. “The car I'll be driving is over there.” She pointed toward Robby's vehicle.

The instructor walked over to the car, circled it, checking to make sure everything outside was legal. He climbed into the passenger's side.

Robby said, “Good luck, Susan! I'll wait for you inside the building.”

Susan nodded and opened the driver's side door and slid in behind the wheel. She glanced back. Robby was watching.

After the instructor went through his “everything is in good operating order in the car” list, he nodded to Susan. “You may start whenever you're ready. I want you to pull out at the marked exit and then turn left,” he said. “I'll give you directions as we go along.”

Susan placed the car into drive, repeating silently to herself,
Think farm. Think farm. Think horses. Think driving buggies. Left, right. Left, right. Pull lines
. She turned left at the entrance, finally relaxing a bit when they came to the the first light.
What is there to worry about anyway? I've done this many times with Robby. And if I fail, so what? Amish people don't need driver's licenses
.

“You're doing fine,” the man said minutes later. “Let's try this street. A left, please.”

Susan turned on the blinker, waited for two cars to go by, and then pulled across the traffic lanes.

“There's an empty parking spot up ahead on the right. Can you parallel park?”

“I think so,” Susan said barely above a whisper.

Susan turned on her blinker and pulled up next to a parked car. Repeating under her breath, “I can do it. I can do it,” her gaze jumped back and forth between the rearview mirror and her side mirror. She craned her neck over her shoulder and swung the car into the spot on the first try.

“Not bad!” the examiner said. “Now pull out, and let's go around a few more blocks. Then we're done.”

Susan took a deep breath, glanced into the mirror, flipped the turn signal, looked over her shoulder, and pulled out. She followed the man's direction as they moved through town, eventually returning to the DMV lot, parking where they'd started.