Missing Your Smile (42 page)

“I don't know,” Teresa moaned. “I think so.”

“I think so too,” the doctor said a moment later. “In fact, you're quite ready. When the next contraction comes, you push hard. Okay?”

“Okay,” Teresa said, her voice quavering.

Susan held Teresa's hand as the doctor and nurse worked, wiping Teresa's brow as another contraction began. Teresa pushed and cried out at the same time.

After the second attempt, the doctor said, “We're almost there! Do you know the gender of your baby?”

“A boy,” Teresa gasped as another contraction hit and she pushed as hard as she could.

Susan watched in awe. She had been close by with several deliveries at home, but this was the first time she'd actually seen a baby being born.

Before she or Teresa could speak, the doctor took the baby as it left the birth canal and handed it to the nurse for cleaning. “Well, you were right. A boy it is!”

“Oh, Susan!” Teresa whispered, as the baby's cries filled the room. “My son has been born.”

Susan nodded, not trusting her voice.

“And he's going to be Amish,” Teresa said.

“You are also, don't forget,” Susan said, squeezing Teresa's hand.

Teresa nodded.

“Would you like to hold him?” The nurse brought over the newborn boy.

Teresa's face glowed and her arms reached out. “Yes, I would!”

“What's his name?” the doctor asked.

“He's going to be Amish,” Teresa said. “He'll need an Amish boy's name.”

“Amish, eh?” the doctor said with a small laugh. “Well, let's see. You could call him Harrison Ford. But that's not really Amish, is it? What about Samuel? That sounds like a good Amish name.”

“Is it?” Teresa looked at Susan.

“It's a very
gut
Amish name,” Susan said.

“Then his name is
Samuel
,” Teresa said, her face beaming. “My little Amish Samuel.”

T
he motorboat rocked in the slight waves, the shoreline far behind them. Susan clutched the sides of the boat and made the effort to relax.

“I'm not going to drown you!” Robby promised with a laugh. “You can be thankful I didn't take you out on a sailboat.”

Susan looked up at the sweep of the stars, more visible here than in the city. “You still have memories of me driving on your mind,” she said. “I don't trust you not to pay me back.”

“A sweet fellow like me?” Robby said. “Why would I have killing you on my mind?” He grinned.

“You know why. All those scares I gave you,” she said. “You could capsize the boat, dump my body into the sea, save yourself, and no one would ever know.”

Robby laughed as he took in the open water.

Susan pointed at a low cluster of lights in the distance. “What is that?”

“A ship. Probably a freighter,” he said.

“I can't see anything but lights,” Susan said. “How can you tell?”

“Because I've seen them many times before,” he said. He was smiling in the dim light while standing at the wheel of the boat.

Tears suddenly sprang to Susan's eyes, and she turned away.

“Are you really leaving?” Robby asked as he guided the boat into a wake between large waves.

Susan ignored the question, trying to think of something else to talk about. Leaving was a subject that brought tears. Baby Samuel was doing well, but Laura still wanted them to wait until Teresa had grown stronger before making the long trip. As much as Susan was looking forward to going home again, leaving Robby and his mother would create a sizable hole in her heart.

“Why are the waves picking up?” Susan finally asked, looking at him again.

“They're coming from the freighter,” he said. “She's a big one.”

Susan stood up and braced herself against the increased rocking.

“Have you ever wanted to go far away—like to China or maybe to the South Sea islands?” she asked. “Spend time sitting under coconut trees, or walking sandy beaches, or looking at the coral that goes all the way to the bottom of the ocean? They say the waters are bluish-colored, and clear as crystal.”

“You're such a romantic!” he said. “Have you nothing better to do than dream?”

“I work in a bakery, and I'm about to head back to the Amish community I've always known. Wouldn't you dream too if you were me?”

“I suppose so,” he said. “I do plenty of dreaming myself, believe me. I keep thinking you will change your mind at the last minute and stay.”

“I have my reasons for going back,” she said. “And don't think they are all noble, either. Teresa—she's the noble one, with her head filled with thoughts of how wonderful it will be to be among the Amish.”

“Will it be?” he asked.

“All my life I was told it was, and I believed it. Then Thomas popped the bubble. It hasn't been the same since.”

“So you might come back here?” he asked.

“Maybe…but I really don't know. It might be hard to go back and settle down there knowing I left all this behind. What do you think? Will I come back?”

“How would I know? I've never been Amish.” He paused to turn the wheel. “Honestly, though, I'd say you have a high chance of staying and working it out with that boyfriend of yours. You see the negative things about the Amish world you grew up in. I see the downside of life here. It's not all it's cracked up to be either.”

“Robby, do you really believe that?”

“Life here is not all motorboats and car drives,” he said, gazing at the sea.

“Or watching the moon rise over the ocean?”

“So you haven't forgotten that?” He took the boat through another wave.

“How could I forget that, Robby?” she said. “That was the first wonderful thing you did for me.”

“Well,” he said with a smile, “you've sure been nice to have around.”

“You puzzle me, Robby. You can be so nice sometimes, but then so were Thomas and then Duane. Thomas betrayed me and Duane went into hives just because I fixed him supper. You men are so hard to figure out!”

He laughed again. “You never really loved Duane. Admit it, Susan.”

“Okay,” she agreed. “He was nice, and I wanted to see what love would be like out here in the
Englisha
world. But I wasn't trying to play him, Robby.”

“Did he ever kiss you?”

“That's none of your business,” she said with sly smile.

“Come on now, 'fess up.”

“Robby, quit it! This is not like you at all. I'd almost think you're jealous.”

“Maybe I am,” he said. “It's not hard to be jealous over someone like you, Susan. You're quite a woman.”

“Now you're making me turn red, and it's not even warm out here.”

“Well, you are,” he insisted. “And you don't have to be embarrassed about it. Didn't that Thomas fellow ever tell you so?”

Susan nodded as she looked out over the waves. They were calmer now, and the lights of the freighter were nearly lost in the distance.

“Yes, he did. Lots of times. And look where that got me.”

“He'll be seeing his mistake before long, mark my words.”

“I don't think so,” she said.

“Ah,” he said, “there's hope in your voice. I can hear it.”

“Come on, Robby! Do we have to talk about this? This is our last night together for a long time…maybe forever.”

“I'm sorry.” He stared off into the distance for a long time. Then a smile crept across his face. “I didn't bring you out here to have a fight, Susan. The Lord knows I have enough of those already.”

“So why did you bring me out?” she asked.

“To keep my promise. And to say goodbye, I guess…to show you what you've meant to me.”

“Robby, I've had a grand time with you, and you've been ever so nice. But we will always be just friends. You do know that, don't you?”

“Yes,” he said. “Even when I've wished it could be more, I knew it wouldn't be. For more reasons than one. But that didn't stop me from wanting to help you. And this is my attempt to do something nice for you.”

“Well, you've succeeded, Robby!” she said. “I didn't do much for you though. You're the one who gave me driving lessons and drove me around when I needed to go somewhere.”

“And you are the one who helped me find faith. Isn't that a little better than driving lessons?”

“Yes, it is. But I don't see what I did to give you faith. Does this mean you're going to church again?”

“I went last Sunday. Don't discount the part you played. You inspired me, Susan, with your devotion to God, your fun-loving ways, and your sincerity. Granted, I might have gone back to church eventually, but you helped make it sooner than later.”

“I'm glad,” Susan said. “And thank you for the boat ride tonight. It's beautiful out here—almost as beautiful as the sky at home but in a different sort of way.”

“I'll have to come visit you sometime,” he said. “I'd like to see what Amish is all about.”

Susan laughed. “You're welcome anytime. And your aunt lives close by, so you'd have a place to stay.”

“It would be nice to see my nephews again,” he said. “I haven't seen them in ages.”

Robby cut the motor and let the boat drift, the silence broken only by the lap of waves against the sides of the boat. The stars stretched all the way to the horizon, their glory broken only when light and water came together.

“You deserve a kiss for this,” she said. “I've never had a brother to kiss.”

“Ah, so the princess would kiss the frog under the moonless starry sky? I promise you, I won't turn into a prince.”

“Robby, hush.” She walked up to him, trying to keep her balance on the boat.

He smiled and turned his cheek toward her. She drew him close, giving him a playful smack.

“There!” She let him go. “You have now been properly thanked.”

“More than properly thanked!” he said. He restarted the motor and pointed the boat to shore.

“Look at the city lights and how they mix in with the Christmas lights,” she said. “They're beautiful against the night sky.”

“They are,” he agreed. “But not as beautiful as where the water and stars meet.”

“But the city has its own glory,” she insisted. “Look at the blend of nature and man, that bubble of colorful light against the night sky. It brings to mind a savage wrestling of man against the darkness, warring against it, fighting to keep it at bay.”

“You are a poet tonight.” He laughed. “I sure will miss having you around.”

“Hey, by the way, how are your girl problems coming along?”

“I wasn't sure you were interested.”

“You know I am, Robby! Tell me. Is there someone special?”

He smiled. “There is this woman at church. I saw her on Sunday. I've known her since grade school, but we lost touch.”

“There you go!” she said. “Treat her like a princess, and that's all she'll need.”

“Look! There's another ship,” Robby pointed out.

“It's come to bid me farewell.”

“You sure have a wild imagination,” Robby said, as they watched the ship pass by.

“It's so beautiful,” she whispered when the lights had faded away.

“Susan, when are you leaving?” he asked moments later.

“As soon after Christmas as Teresa and the baby are strong enough. Your mom brought Teresa's mother over yesterday for a few hours. So I think goodbye has been said. We'll make our minds up this week sometime, and I'll go down to the station and buy two train tickets to the farmlands of Indiana.”