Mail Order Maternity (Brides of Beckham Book 6) (7 page)

“Are you okay to stand up and walk up the stairs?  I’d like you to lie down so I can examine you.”

Esther nodded.  “I’m really not in pain, just worried about the blood.”

Thomas jumped up.  “Let me help.”  He helped Esther to her feet and scooped her up in his arms, carrying her up the stairs.  Thomas was so much thinner than Charlie had been so it was hard to imagine him being strong enough to carry her across the room, let alone up the stairs.

“Put me down!  You’ll hurt yourself!”

“I’m stronger than I look.  And you weigh less than a feather.  You’ve got to eat more now that your morning sickness is over!”  He shook his head at her as he opened the door to their bedroom.

Victoria rushed up the stairs behind them watching as Thomas carefully laid his wife on the bed.  She put her hand on his shoulder.  “I want you to wait outside the room.”

Thomas looked at Esther looking so small on the bed and then at his sister-in-law.  “I feel like I should be here.”

Esther shook her head.  “No, Thomas.  Go.  It’s okay.”  No woman wanted to be examined
there
while her husband was hovering around.

Thomas rushed from the room, closing the door behind him, but stood in the hallway listening to make sure there was nothing he could do.  Victoria popped her head out.  “Get me some clean cloths and some water.”

Thomas hurried to do what he’d been told.  He was thrilled to have something to do.  He rushed down the stairs and ran back up with the rags and a pitcher of water.  Knocking on the door, he handed them to Victoria when she popped her head out.  “Will this work?”

Victoria nodded and closed the door again firmly in his face.  He paced the hallway while he waited.  At first he hadn’t liked the idea of a pregnant wife, but now he couldn’t imagine how he’d feel if she lost the baby. 

It was just a few minutes when Victoria came out of the room.  “She’s fine.  I think she needs to be careful for a week or so.  She can cook, but no major cleaning.  I’ll send MaryAnn over to help with the cleaning for the next week.”  She looked at Thomas.  “No relations for a week or so, either.”  MaryAnn was Victoria and Samuel’s oldest daughter.

He nodded embarrassed that she knew he had relations with his wife, even though he was supposed to.  “What about the baby?”

“The baby seems to be doing fine.  She doesn’t appear to be losing him.  I’m just suggesting these things as a precaution.  I don’t want her to lose him.”  She studied her brother-in-law as if she were wondering how he’d feel about it.

“That’s fine.  Should I make her stay in bed?”

Victoria shook her head.  “That’s probably not necessary.  Just make sure she doesn’t do a lot of cleaning.  If there’s anything she wants done, we’ll just have MaryAnn do it.  Do you mind if she sleeps in the nursery for the week?”

“MaryAnn?  No, that’s fine.  We’ll be happy to have her help.”  He looked toward the closed door.  “Can I go see her?”

“Of course.”

Thomas opened the door and went to stand beside the bed.  “How are you feeling?” 

“I feel fine.  I’m just worried about the baby.”  Her hand automatically went to her stomach and she rubbed the small mound.

“Are you hungry?  I’ll bring you some stew.”

Esther nodded and sat up.  “I am hungry.   I’ll go down and get my own, though.  Victoria said I don’t have to stay in bed.  I just need to be careful.”

Thomas stood by helplessly while she stood up.  “I’ll carry you down the stairs.”

“There’s no need for that.  I’ll go down on my own.”

He followed along behind her, worried.  When they reached the bottom of the stairs, they found Victoria serving them each a bowl of food and washing the few dishes she could.  “I’ll send Samuel over with MaryAnn when I get home.”

Thomas nodded.  “If you’ll wait, I’ll ride with you.”

“There’s no need.  The distance is short and I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.  MaryAnn will be here tonight.  I want her to finish the dishes, so don’t get up and do them.”  She gave Esther a stern look.  “Do you understand me?”

Esther nodded.  “I feel like I’m a burden on everyone.”

“You’re not.  You’ve had a tough few months.  That long journey didn’t help you any.”  She put her bonnet on and walked to the door.  “I’ll be back in a week to get my daughter and make sure you’re okay.”

“Thank you for coming so quickly.”

“You’re welcome.  I’m just glad to have a new sister.”

Chapter Five

MaryAnn was there within the hour, and Esther got to meet Samuel for the first time.  She was surprised at the strong resemblance between the brothers.  Samuel and Thomas were identical, except Samuel’s hair had a light dusting of gray.

MaryAnn asked no questions and simply started to work on the dishes.  Esther introduced herself, but MaryAnn just nodded shyly.  “Thank you for doing the dishes for me.”

MaryAnn nodded.  “Ma said I couldn’t do anything else ‘til the dishes were done.”

Samuel watched as his daughter went to work and then turned to the door.  “Victoria will be here for her in a week.”  He clapped a hand to his brother’s shoulder.  “Take care of my girl.”

Thomas nodded.  “You know I will.”

It was late by the time the dishes were finished.  Esther was thrilled for the help, but it was hard for her to sit and watch the dishes being done in her home without jumping up to help.  She wasn’t used to sitting idle while others worked around her.

When they were settled into bed that night, Thomas pulled her into his arms and held her.  “I’m glad the baby is okay.”

Esther nodded.  “I was so scared.”  She’d been certain she was going to lose the baby that afternoon, and she couldn’t bear the thought of losing the last piece of her first husband.

“I’m going to buy a dinner bell that you can ring if you need me.”

“You won’t be able to hear it everywhere on the land, so there’s no point.  I’ll be okay.”  She didn’t want him to waste money on something so frivolous when it wouldn’t necessarily solve their problems anyway.

He sighed.  “You’re probably right, but I’m going to be afraid to leave you now.”

“MaryAnn will be here for at least a week.  She can come and get you if anything goes wrong.”  She knew it was a temporary solution, but he should be calmer about her health and the health of the baby within a week.  She hoped he would at least.

He ran his hand down her back, wishing they could do more than just lie together in bed.  “I know.  After she’s gone, it’s going to be harder, though.”

Esther smiled.  “You know I’ve lived alone for most of my pregnancy with no one to check on me, right?”

He shrugged.  “You weren’t my wife then.”

She smiled, closing her eyes. 
He may not be Charlie
, she thought
, but he sure does care about this baby. 
She knew then she’d made the right decision when she married him.  She fell asleep with a smile on her face.

*****

Esther woke up and stretched, noting that the other side of the bed was empty.  She hurried and got up to go down and fix breakfast.  When she reached the bottom of the stairs she found MaryAnn had already fixed bacon, eggs and toast.  She took her place at the table while MaryAnn served them.  “Your ma said I could do the cooking!” she protested.

MaryAnn shrugged.  “She told me the less you did, the better.”  She sat down and folded her hands, waiting for her uncle to pray for them.

Esther bowed her head, thankful for the sweet girl who was working so hard for her.  She was only ten, but she certainly knew her way around a kitchen and knew how to clean. 

When Thomas left for the fields he told her where he’d be, and made her promise to be careful. 

She spent most of the first day of MaryAnn’s visit sitting in her rocker working on the baby’s blanket.  MaryAnn spoke little, which Esther was learning seemed to be a family trait, but she worked hard.  She cleaned the upstairs bedrooms and cooked every meal.  Every time Esther suggested she get up and help, MaryAnn would tell her she could do it and ask her to sit back down. 

Esther wasn’t sure how long she could handle sitting and doing nothing but knitting, but she would do her best.  MaryAnn fixed a simple supper of beans and cornbread, but Esther was so hungry she ate every bite and got seconds.

Thomas watched her eat with a smile.  “I’m so happy to see you have an appetite now.”

“I am too.  The queasiness is finally gone and I feel like a new woman.”  She was so happy to be able to eat again, she was ready to dance.  Of course, everyone would just tell her to sit down again.

“Has the bleeding stopped?”

Esther nodded.  “It has.  I’m sure I could work again.  There’s no need for me to sit around doing nothing.”

MaryAnn looked at Esther.  “Mama said you’d say that.  She said to tell you if you wanted to have a baby in six months, you needed to take it easy now.”  She spooned up another bite of the beans as she watched Esther.

Esther made a face.  “I guess tomorrow I’ll start sewing clothes for the baby.  I have nothing else to do.”

“I could help you make a quilt for him,” MaryAnn offered.

Esther smiled.  “That would be nice.  I’d love to have something to do with someone else.  Sitting around watching you clean all the time is lonely work.”  Before she’d left Beckham, her mother had given her some scraps of fabric to use for a quilt for the baby, but she hadn’t had time to do anything with them.  She was happy she wouldn’t be sewing by herself.  When she’d married Charlie, she’d been alone most of the time, but it hadn’t bothered her.  Maybe because she knew she could walk to her parents’ house whenever she wanted.  Here, she felt isolated from the world.  She needed to learn how to get to Samuel and Victoria’s house so she could go visit whenever she wanted.

The next day passed quickly as she and MaryAnn spent the entire day sewing together, other than quick breaks while MaryAnn cooked the meals.  Esther was impressed with the girl’s domestic skills and hoped that someday she’d have a daughter to teach how to cook and sew.  She genuinely enjoyed the time she spent with her new niece.

She was a lot more animated at dinner that night, still eating more than she’d eaten when she first arrived.  It seemed as if her morning sickness was finally over and she had more energy as well.  She was excited that she’d be able to do everything for herself again in a few days.

By the time Victoria came at the end of the week, she felt as if she’d accomplished a great deal toward getting the house ready for a baby.  She had several small outfits made, and two quilts, plus the small blanket she had finished the day MaryAnn was first there.

Victoria examined her and smiled.  “You’re as good as new.  You can go back to doing anything you feel up to doing.”

Esther was relieved.  She’d felt like she wasn’t holding up her end of the bargain by not engaging in relations with Thomas.  He hadn’t said anything, but she’d known he wanted more from her than she was able to give.

Victoria stayed for a while and visited after the exam.  MaryAnn made them tea and cookies, and they munched on them while Victoria talked about the difficulties of living on a homestead. 

“Where’s the nearest town?  I need more flour and sugar before the week is up.”  Esther hadn’t seen any town between Lindsborg and the homestead. 

Victoria laughed.  “Remember the town where the train brought you?  That’s our closest town.”

Esther blinked.  “How can I get sugar and flour, then?”

“Someone from the church goes into town at least once a week.  We take turns.  This week is our turn.  Just make a list of what you need and I’ll pick it up while I’m in town.  I’ll get all the letters for everyone as well.  We go that often for mail more than for supplies.”

“I haven’t been to church yet.  What’s it like?”  Esther hadn’t noticed a church in the area, but since she’d never left the homestead after her arrival that wasn’t surprising.

“We take turns having it in different homes.  This week is your turn, come to think of it.  There are only four families, so it’s not a big deal.  If you’d like, I can take your turn and you can take mine next week.”

Esther shook her head.  “You’ve done enough for me.  I can handle it.  Do I fix lunch for everyone afterward?”  She liked the idea of hosting a big group, but wasn’t sure she was up to cooking for them all.

“No, everyone brings a dish and we all help clean up after the meal.”

“Okay.  I can handle that.  Is there something special I provide as the host?”  Esther wanted to make a good impression on the other ladies who would be the only people she would see for months on end.

“No, not at all.  Just fix enough for you and Thomas.  Everyone fixes enough for their family to eat, and then we all share.  I’ll be sure to bring extra in case you don’t feel up to cooking.  You’ll provide coffee and any other drinks.”

“I’m fine.  I’ve felt up to cooking for days but MaryAnn wouldn’t let me.”

Victoria smiled at her daughter fondly.  “She was following orders and it sounds like she did a good job.”  She stood up.  “If you’ll get that list ready for me, I’ll go ahead and go.  I need to get dinner ready for my family.”

Esther quickly wrote a list on a slip of paper and handed it to Victoria.  She’d enjoyed MaryAnn’s company but would be happy to have her home to herself again.  “Thanks for getting it for me.”

“It’s no problem.  It’ll be your turn soon enough.”

“I should feel up to it soon.”

Esther stood at the door as she watched them go, missing MaryAnn already.  She went to the kitchen and fixed a light meal, whipping up a cake to go with it.  She’d discovered that Thomas hadn’t exaggerated his love of sweets, and she was happy to keep him content with his favorite foods.

When Thomas came in from the fields for dinner and saw Esther standing at the work table frosting a cake, his heart jumped.  She was really better.  He walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist.  “I’m glad you’re doing better.”

She turned to him and smiled, a little startled by the open display of affection.  “I’m just glad the baby’s okay.”

“I haven’t met the baby yet.  You’re the one I was worried about.”

“I made you a cake.”

“I see that.  Thank you.”  He dropped a quick kiss on her lips.  “I’m glad you felt up to it.”

“I’ve been cleared for all activities,” she told him with a slight blush.

He shook his head.  “I’m not risking the baby.  I can wait until after he’s born.”

“No, there’s no need.  Victoria said it was fine.”

He shrugged.  “I’m still waiting.  I’m not going to put you or our baby at risk.”

She blinked at his use of the word “our” with regard to the baby.
Did he really think of the baby as his own?  “I appreciate that, but there’s really no need to worry about it.”  Why was she arguing with him?  Did she want to have relations?  “Sit down.  I’ll have supper on the table in a minute.”

He sat down at his regular place and she put his plate in front of him.  He took her hand and held it tightly while he prayed for them, thanking God for keeping the baby safe, and praying that Esther’s pregnancy would continue to be a safe one. 

After the dishes were done that evening, she took the things she and MaryAnn had made and put them away in the nursery.  She was thankful for the time she’d had to work on them, but wished she had been able to keep up with her other chores at the same time. 

Thomas went looking for her and found her in the nursery, lovingly stroking the quilt she’d made.  “Are you sleeping in here?” he asked surprised.

She shook her head.  “No, I’m sleeping with my husband.  Just putting the baby’s things away.”  She picked up the lantern from the dresser and carried it into the bedroom they shared.  She’d only slept in the nursery the first night she was there, and she was surprised he’d think she wanted to sleep there again.  She blew out the lantern, undressed, and pulled her nightgown over her head, climbing into bed beside him.

She immediately slipped into his arms, where she’d slept for the past week.  When he gave her a quick kiss and pulled away, she followed him, kissing him again and letting him know she’d be amenable to making love with him.  He pulled back.  “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t hurt me.  Victoria said everything was fine.”

He shook his head.  “I’m not risking it.”  He held her close as he closed his eyes and fell swiftly to sleep.

She lay beside him, annoyed at his attitude.  She’d offered to make love with him and he wasn’t interested?  What kind of marriage was she in?

She rolled to her side of the bed, making sure there was room between them.  If he didn’t want to touch her, then she didn’t want to touch him.  There were tears on her pillow when she finally fell asleep.

*****

As the week wore on, Esther felt like she and Thomas were growing further and further apart.  He’d kiss her and hug her as long as they weren’t in bed together, but as soon as they slipped between the sheets, he’d give her one quick kiss and tell her goodnight.  She couldn’t understand why he was being so distant from her.  They knew it was okay to make love, so why wouldn’t he touch her?

*****

Thomas stood in the field staring off into space.  He should have been weeding his wheat field, but he was going crazy instead.  Every time he closed his eyes, he’d see his beautiful willing wife.  Every night, he pretended to fall asleep so she’d move away from him.  He stared up at the ceiling almost all night long burning with frustration.  Something had to give.  She made it very clear she was willing, pressing herself against him and kissing him.  But it wouldn’t be right for him to risk the baby.