Mail Order Maternity (Brides of Beckham Book 6) (4 page)

Wednesday came too fast.  Esther didn’t tell her mother and father-in-law where she was going, because she didn’t want them to know how to find her.  She explained what she was doing to her mother, but she was the only person she told.  Her mother’s reaction was pragmatic.  “I’ll miss you, but I think you’re doing what’s best.” 

Until that moment, Esther had held out hope her parents would offer her a home, but she knew they didn’t have room. 

As she made the walk to Beckham Wednesday morning, Esther couldn’t help but let her mind wander over the events of the past few months.  She and Charlie had been the schoolhouse sweethearts.  From the time she was twelve, she’d known she and Charlie would marry and spend the rest of their lives together.  It had never occurred to her that Charlie would die young and she’d be left alone.

Meeting a new man and marrying him were strange ideas for her, but she’d do whatever she had to do to ensure the well-being of her baby.  Stopping in front of Harriett’s stately home, she stared at it for a minute, wondering how her life would have been different if she’d been born into a life of ease.  Somehow it seemed as if money would have solved all her problems, but deep down she knew it wasn’t true.  Money would just bring its own troubles.

She knocked on the door and Harriett opened it herself.  She carried a small canvas sack, which she held up as she stepped over the threshold.  “I brought you sandwiches and a jar of lemonade for the trip.  Food is very dear on a train, and you don’t want to have to spend that much of the money Thomas sent.”

Esther nodded, almost too nervous about her first train trip to even speak.  They walked through the streets with Harriett asking questions in her calm, sweet voice while Esther looked around the town as if she’d never seen it.  After today, she’d never come back to her home town.  Would she be homesick every day, or would she adapt to her new life quickly?

“I need you to promise me something,” Harriett told her, breaking her out of her reverie.

“What’s that?”  Esther looked at Harriett in surprise, realizing just then they’d arrived at the train station. 

“I want you to promise me that if you’re in a bad situation in Kansas, you’ll come home.”

“What do you mean by a bad situation?”

Harriett took a deep breath.   “I mean if you find yourself married to a man who hits you or treats you badly in any way, I want you to get straight on a train and come right back here.  Or to me wherever I am.  I’ll send the money for the fare, but you have to promise you won’t stay.  You’ll find somewhere to go.”  Harriett’s face was earnest as she asked her friend for her promise. 

Esther stared at her friend.  Was she speaking from experience?  “I promise.  I won’t put my baby in any kind of danger, and that means I’ll leave as soon as something even makes me a little nervous there.”

Harriett smiled and nodded, looking relieved.  “A woman never has to stay with a man who hurts her.  I wish I could travel the world and say that to every single woman, but it’s just not possible.”

They talked of Harriett’s plans for her future while they waited for the train to arrive.  The call of “All Aboard” interrupted them, and Esther jumped to her feet. 

Esther hugged her friend tightly.  “You’re the best friend I’ve ever had.  I’m going to miss you more than I could ever express.”

“I’ll miss you too.  Write me as soon as you get there so I know you’re okay.”  Harriett’s face was sad as she stood hugging her friend for the last time.  She’d be alone again.

“I will.  You write me as soon as you get to Oregon.”  Esther gripped Harriett’s hands.  “I need to know you’re safe!”

“No worries.  I’ll write you constantly!”

With one last hug, Esther rushed to the train.  She looked back over her shoulder to see Harriett standing with tears in her eyes.  She waved quickly and boarded the train.  She couldn’t help but wonder what had happened to Harriett to make her say what she had.

Chapter Three

The trip from Beckham, Massachusetts to Lindsborg, Kansas took four days.  Four long days of constant nausea for Esther.  The rocking of the train, combined with her morning sickness, had been almost too much for her to bear.  She’d vomited repeatedly on the long trip to the point that other passengers stayed as far away from her as possible. 

They would be at her stop in just a few minutes, and she wished there was a way for her to take a bath.  She had vomit on her clothes, and even some in her hair.  She knew Thomas was going to take one look at her and offer to pay for her trip right back to Beckham and she wouldn’t blame him one bit.

When the train stopped, she picked up her carpet bag she’d carried onto the train and walked out onto the platform, her stomach rolling from the sudden stop of motion.  She wanted to scream.  She was sick when she was moving, but she was sick when she wasn’t moving.  It had to stop somehow!

The other people who were getting off at the same stop stood as far from her as they could.  She knew her stench was overwhelming, but they made her feel like a leper.  She was expecting someone to walk through the crowd in front of her yelling out “unclean!”

She looked out over the sea of people and spotted a tall, thin man leaning against a wagon and holding up a sign that said, “Esther Perry.”  He wasn’t handsome, but he wasn’t ugly.  She made her way toward him as quickly as she could around all the people.  Many people scattered out of her way, trying to avoid the smell of vomit clinging to her even in the open air.

Thomas looked out over the people on the platform, and hoped his bride had missed her train.  There was only one person who’d gotten off the train who could possibly be his bride, and she was filthy.  Her hair hung down along her face in clumps and her dress looked as if it hadn’t been washed in a month.  The woman slowly made her way toward him, and he did his best to keep the revulsion from his face. 

She stopped directly in front of him.  “Thomas?  I’m Esther.  Please forgive the way I look.  The train was not good for my morning sickness.”  That was an understatement.  Never in her life had she dreamed of being as sick as she’d been for the past four days.  She’d thought her morning sickness was bad when she was back in Beckham, but she’d quickly discovered it was mild compared to how it could be.

Looking closer he could see the dirt on her dress was actually vomit.  He wanted to plug his nose so he wouldn’t smell her but was afraid of hurting her feelings. 

“Is this everything?” he asked as he took her carpet bag from her.  Would it be wrong of him to tell her to go back where she came from?  He certainly hoped this was an aberration and he wasn’t marrying a woman who walked around dirty and smelly all the time.

“No, there’s a trunk as well.”

He didn’t want to touch her, but carefully handed her up into the wagon.  “I’ll be right back.”  He ran from her to the spot where they were unloading the luggage.   He had a pastor waiting for them, and now all he could think about doing was sending her back to Massachusetts.  Her smell was more than he could handle.  He knew he shouldn’t care how she looked and smelled, but he did.  He’d been so excited to have her here, but he just couldn’t imagine spending the rest of his life with her filth.

He hefted the trunk onto one shoulder and put it into the back of the wagon before taking a deep breath and climbing onto the wagon seat beside her.  “I have a pastor waiting for us.”

She nodded.  “That’s good.”  She looked in front of her, not sure what to say to him.  “I’m still feeling very sick to my stomach, so I may have to have you pull over.”  She prayed it wouldn’t come to that.  This was not how she’d planned to meet her husband. 

“I can do that.  Just let me know.  I’d rather you didn’t throw up in my wagon.”  He stared straight ahead as he said the words, doing his best not to breathe too deeply.

He drove the five blocks to the pastor’s house and pulled up in front of it.  He’d never been particularly handsome, so he’d never thought he’d marry a pretty girl, but he’d never expected to take a bride who was not only pregnant with another man’s child, but also covered in vomit.  How could he go through with it?

He carefully helped her down and walked to the front door.  He knocked quickly and the pastor’s wife came to the door.  She took one look at Esther and said, “Are you okay?”

Esther nodded.  “Just motion sick from the train.”

The pastor walked up behind his wife and his face changed when he saw Esther standing there covered in vomit.  He whispered something to his wife who nodded.  “Can we put off the wedding for an hour?  I think your bride is in need of a good bath and hair washing.”

Esther blushed, but nodded thankfully.  “I’m so sorry about the smell.  I was sick the whole way here and there was no way for me to bathe.”  She stared down at the ground in front of her, embarrassed.  They were obviously good people who wanted to help her, but she wished they’d ignored the smell.  Of course, a bath would make her feel wonderful.

“I’m Gertrude,” the pastor’s wife told her as she pulled her into the house.  “Start heating some water,” she said over her shoulder as she led Esther toward the back.   “We’ll have you clean and feeling better in no time.”

“Thank you so much.  I hated meeting Thomas looking like this, but I really didn’t have a choice.”

It took them an hour and a half to get her bathed and her hair washed out.  When she was dressed in one of the dresses from her carpet bag, she felt much better.  Most of the queasiness was even gone.  Gertrude pushed her into a chair and fixed her hair for her.  It wasn’t anything fancy like she’d done for her first wedding, but it was better than it had been, so Esther was grateful.

*****

Thomas sat with the pastor in the front room of the couple’s house.  He kept his eye on the clock, wondering if the two women would ever be finished and come back out.  It was almost two hours when the pastor’s wife appeared with a pretty young woman at her side.  It took him a moment to realize it was Esther.  He jumped to his feet.  “You look so much better.”  He immediately covered his mouth with his hand.  He hadn’t meant to tell her she looked bad, but the woman had been filthy.  He’d done well not mentioning how much better she smelled.

Gertrude smiled at Thomas’s reaction to his wife.  “I think she’s ready for the wedding.”

Thomas nodded and swallowed hard.  His new wife was beautiful.  How had he not noticed that before?

The two of them stood in front of the preacher, and he happily took her hand.  The ceremony was brief and to the point.  The pastor knew he needed to get back to the homestead before milking time.  He paused for a moment when he was told to kiss his bride, wondering how she’d react, but knowing it was part of the ceremony, he lowered his head.  The kiss was brief, but it was enough to make him very interested in the upcoming night with his new wife.  Her lips were soft and sweet as he brushed them with his own.

When it was over, he thanked the pastor and his wife, paying them an extra dollar for the bath and time they’d given up to make his new wife ready for the wedding.

When he helped her into the wagon this time, it didn’t bother him to touch her hand.  It was as if she were a completely different woman than she’d been when they walked into the pastor’s house two hours before.

“How far is it to your homestead?” she asked her voice soft and calm.

“It’ll take us about three hours if we don’t run into any trouble.”  He stared straight ahead as if afraid to meet her gaze.

Her head jerked toward him.  “What kind of trouble could we run into?”

He shrugged.  “Rain.  Wolves.  Indians.  Any number of things.  We don’t usually have any trouble, though.”

She found herself looking around them nervously as they drove.  She’d heard there were a lot more Indians out West, but she hadn’t had a chance to experience them yet.  “Do you have a rifle?”  Her voice held just a tint of panic.

“Of course.  We may see a buck on the way, and I couldn’t let that pass.”

The motion of the wagon immediately started to bother her stomach again.  She groaned with her hand against her belly.  They had just made it out of town when she said, “I need to throw up!”

He jerked back on the reins and pulled to the side of the dirt road.  She scrambled down on her own without waiting for his help.  Running as fast as she could, she made it to the small copse of trees before she relieved herself of the few bites of food she’d managed to eat just before getting off the train.  She certainly hoped her mother was right and the morning sickness would be over soon.  She didn’t think she could handle much more of this.  Although her stomach was expanding, she was getting much thinner overall.  Her dresses were hanging off her.

She looked around for a stream to rinse her hands in, but there wasn’t one, so she went back to the wagon, happy she hadn’t gotten any vomit on herself this time.

He was standing beside the wagon waiting for her, looking anxious.  He helped her into the wagon again.  “You okay?”

She shrugged.  “My mother told me I’d feel better after my third month.  I sure hope she’s right.”  She tried to act blasé about her constant vomiting but she honestly was afraid he’d want to get rid of her if she couldn’t stop throwing up.  What a way to start a new marriage.

“How far along are you?”  He looked at her stomach, finding it hard to believe she was actually carrying a child.  She looked thin, much too thin to have another person inside her.

“Two months and three weeks.  Should be better in another week according to my mother.  I can’t take much more of this.”  She shook her head as she said the last words.  What if the morning sickness didn’t stop?

“Were you sick before you left home?”

Esther nodded.  “I’d been throwing up for weeks before I left.  It never occurred to me the train ride would make it so much worse.”  She laughed shortly.  “I honestly didn’t think I’d be able to get any worse.”

“I bet it was hard to get to a chamber pot on the train.”  Now that he wasn’t feeling sorry for himself, he was able to think about what she must have gone through on the train, not being able to keep any food down, but still knowing she needed to eat for the sake of the baby.

Esther sighed.  “The porter brought me my own to hold.  No one would sit next to me or across from me.  I felt bad for anyone who had to get within five feet of me.”  She didn’t mention how badly she’d smelled, because she knew he had smelled her as soon as she’d gotten off the train.

He sighed, feeling badly for her, but just as badly for himself.  He’d hoped for a wedding night tonight, but there was no way anything could happen with as bad as she was feeling.  Hopefully she was right and she’d do better after her third month.

They talked very little on the way to his homestead, and he wondered over and over if he’d made a mistake accepting a woman who was pregnant.  What was he thinking?

They made stops every quarter hour along the way for her to vomit, so they were much later getting home than he’d planned.  He pulled up in front of the house and helped her down.  “I need to milk the cow.  If you feel up to it, I’d be grateful if you could have dinner fixed when I get back.”  He watched her as she headed toward the house, wondering if he should show her around.  He’d planned to, but he really needed to get the cows milked before it was dark out.

She nodded, her stomach still rolling, but she didn’t say a word.  It was her job to fix his dinner no matter how she felt.  It was after seven already, so the light wasn’t as bright in the house.  She lit some lanterns and found the trap door in the floor of the kitchen that led down to the cellar.  She found some bacon, eggs and potatoes, and decided they’d do for a quick meal.  She carried them up the stairs in her skirt and built a fire in the stove.

While the stove was heating up, she washed her face in the pail of water on the counter, and poured it out.  She pulled her hair down from its knot on the back of her head and re-fixed it, knowing it had fallen all over her face during her frequent sick bouts on the way to the homestead from the city.

She went outside to find more water, and carried the bucket into the house for her washing after the meal.

She chopped up the potatoes and fried them with the bacon, and then added the eggs, mixing them all together for a quick meal.  Looking around, she saw there was milk to use, but no bread.  She’d make fresh bread the next day.  Toast was the only thing she could eat in the mornings just now, so it would be best if she had some bread made up for that as well as other meals.

When Thomas came back in from milking, he was relieved to see Esther had washed up again.  Her skin was losing the green tint now that she wasn’t being bounced around on the seat of the wagon. 

They sat across from one another at the small table, and he said a quiet prayer for them before they ate.  “Supper smells good.”

She smiled tiredly.  “I hope it tastes good, too.”  She was always nervous when she cooked for someone new, knowing she wasn’t as good at cooking as some women were.  She enjoyed it, though, and planned to keep getting better. 

He noticed she’d given him a great deal of food, and had only taken a couple of spoonfuls for herself.  “You need to eat more.”

She shook her head.  “I can’t.  Eating brings the nausea back.”  Her stomach was settled for the moment and she wasn’t going to do anything to risk changing that.