Luster (16 page)

F
alyn is
awake and typing away on her laptop when I come back into the bedroom with breakfast. “Ooh! What did you bring me?”

I can’t help but puff out my chest a bit when I reply. “I made you some French toast and scrambled eggs. That’s all I could really find to whip together on such short notice. By the way when was the last time you went grocery shopping? There’s a ton of old shit in there. I was lucky the eggs were salvageable.”

Her cheeks go red as I hand her the makeshift breakfast tray. “It’s been a while. I’ve been sort of distracted.”

I know what you mean. Now that I think about it, the same situation is probably going on in my own fridge. Yikes.

“Holy crap, this looks amazing,” she says and takes a huge bite of the toast. She gives me a big goofy smile with food and all. “I see you’ve worked on your egg-cooking skills.”

I shake my head at her and let her feed me a couple of bites as I sit down next to her. “Everyone’s a comedian. So you wanted to talk? At least I think you said something about that last night. Right?”

Falyn thinks for a moment and then laughs. “I did… But you have this terrible habit of making me lose my concentration. But yes, I still want to talk. What have you been up to? Anything new in the world of Matt Walsh?”

Oh there’s plenty of that fodder to go around. “Where do you want me to begin?”

“Start with your brother. How is Liam doing? And Samantha?”

“It’s funny you mention that, actually. So we got a phone call a few days ago about Donald. Somebody called in an anonymous tip about him and the police were able to secure a warrant to search his house. They found tons of shit, but most importantly they found the drugs we knew he was selling and a pretty big pile of stolen stuff—your wallet included. Which reminds me that you need to go down to the police station to pick it up.”

Her eyes widen as she sits up and sets the plate down. “Seriously? What does that mean for Liam?”

All I can do is smile at her. It feels so good telling someone else the good news. “That’s the best part. Because of all that the police released Liam into me and Sam’s custody. All we had to do was sign a little bit of paperwork and now he’s officially in Sam’s care. There’s more for Sam and James to do in order to adopt him, but the guy they’re working with told them it won’t be much longer now. Liam is safe though, and he’s not going anywhere else ever again. You can imagine that we’re all pretty damn happy about that.”

Falyn pulls me in for a hug, pushing the hair away from my face. “That’s seriously the best news I’ve heard in a long time. Besides the whole speech last night of course,” she smiles. “It looks like things are really looking up for him. For Samantha and James, too. That’s just… that’s just awesome, Matt. I would’ve loved to been there when you guys found out…” her voice trails off.

I know she’s feeling ashamed and that just won’t do. The one thing I told myself before I decided to take matters into my own hands was that I wouldn’t be worrying about the past. What’s done is done, and if I’ve forgiven Falyn and she’s forgiven me then simply put, that’s it. I don’t say this but deep down I’ve already forgiven her for everything she will do in the future to piss me off too. No little fight will get in my way of having her anymore. I won’t let it.

“Let’s see, what else… Oh, I’ve been working on some different smaller projects. Well, not so small really, but enough to keep me going. I’ve learned that it’s pretty boring without you around to annoy, so it forced me into spending more time working,” I tease her.

There is one small thing that I worked on. I made it and remade it over and over, trying to get it just right. It’s only a placeholder really, but I have big intentions with it tonight if all goes well.

She rolls her eyes playfully.

“What about you? What’s new in your world here?”

Falyn scoffs and stands up to stretch, her luscious tits playing peekaboo with me from under her cropped t-shirt. Damn it should be a crime for her to walk around fully clothed.

“Not much here in the way of news. My father and I haven’t really chatted much since… well, since our last meeting. I didn’t exactly know how to explain to him that I don’t have a contract from you yet. And I most definitely was not about to go out and find some new young artist to fall in love with.”

I ignore her jibe, honing in on the regret that laces her tone. I quirk a brow at her in question. “He’s still not wanting to play ball? Man, what is his deal?”

“Can’t really say. But I will tell you one thing—I’ve had it up to here with him and his demands. If he wants me to take over the company then wonderful that’s what I’ve always wanted. But if he expects me to jump through all of these ridiculous hoops like some sort of rite of passage then he’s mistaken. I’m done being his lapdog.”

Whoa. I’m honestly surprised by her admission. Falyn takes her job and her relationship with Mr. Morrissey very seriously, so I know she must mean business. I’m also a little turned on by the way she’s finally standing up for herself. It’s fucking
sexy
.

I lean in and kiss her neck. Even as Falyn pushes away and laughs I know I’ll never get enough of her. There aren’t enough days in the week.

Which brings the little box in my pants back to mind. I glance over to where yesterday’s jeans are lying in a disheveled pile on the floor. I’ll have to remember to pick them up when she’s not paying attention.

“I also wanted to finally get the chance to apologize to you,” she says as she walks over to me.

I sigh. “You don’t need to apologize for anything. All that stuff—it’s whatever. I only care about what happens from here on in, okay?”

I wrap my arms around her wishing she’d be a little easier on herself. But Falyn has a big heart so I know that’s damn near impossible.

“Maybe you don’t need to hear it, but I need to say it. Just listen to me.”

Looking up at her I see the pain in her eyes. “I will. I promise.”

She nods and takes a deep breath like she’s getting ready to jump into the ocean. “You remember the day we went to Greaseball’s, and I thought I lost my wallet?”

“But you didn’t. I told you they found it at Donald’s place.”

“I know, but I thought I’d lost it. Or maybe that someone stole it. Anyway… earlier that day I ran into Dinah. She had some… pretty screwed up things to say about you.”

I keep calm and scratch at my face. “Like what?”

Falyn looks away and then back at me, shrugging. “Just stuff. Like how you were with her for her money. That she was the one who got you out of the last job, uh, I’m guessing working for Madame Fortesque and into what you do now. That you were thankless and used her… all this totally ridiculous bullshit that I couldn’t believe. But then…” she sniffles and I realize that she’s crying. Dammit. “Then I still fell for it, like the gullible idiot that I am. And I starting coming to all these conclusions about us. Things I still can’t believe I thought for even a moment. My father made me feel like garbage, and then I saw Madame Fortesque at your place and I lost it—it was like someone took a match to a pile of dead leaves inside me. I was saying things that didn’t make any sense. I mean you know. You were there,” she says, gesturing wildly around. “I’m so sorry I managed to screw everything up.”

I give her a moment to recover for the long-winded apology, and I wipe her cheeks. “It sucks that you didn’t see Dinah for the lying bitch she is, but I get it. Now that that’s all out in the open, do you feel any better?”

She looks back down at me with her eyes still full of tears and gives me a small smile. “Maybe. How about you?”

“I was fine before, but yeah. I think I’m feeling even better now that you mention it. I hate to see you so upset though.”

She nods and wipes at the last of the tears before chuckling to herself. “You know what’s ironic?”

“Hmm?” I mumble, nuzzling my face against her soft stomach.

“There I was, so worried about getting involved with you in the first place. I thought you’d surely break my heart. You’ve got that look and way about you, y’know? But it turns out I’m the one who messed up. I never saw that coming.”

I roll my eyes, ready to be done with this talking in circles crap and ready to get back down to the morning sex part. “Eh, it’s no big deal. Most people look at me and automatically think I’m some giant asshole who doesn’t give a damn about anything. And while they may be true in their assumptions, I love you. And I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you. Annoy the shit out of you? Absolutely. See, even assholes have hearts, princess. And lucky for you, this one happens to belong to you.”

I place her hand over my heart and kiss her fingertips. She practically swoons right here in my arms and I know I’m in. When Falyn kisses me and lowers herself to her knees, parting my legs, I know we’re back on track.

Her warm mouth takes me in and I lie back, letting all the shit in the past go. There is only me and only Falyn. And we are only together, never apart.

I
t’s
the only thing on my mind as I head out the door from my office. The only thing I’m thinking about as I make the long trek down the street to the drug store. And the only word I can focus on when I pick up the thin rectangular box and walk to the checkout line.

Pregnant.

I’d be a fucking idiot to say that Matt and I have been careful. We both made jokes when the condom broke one time, and about how we should probably start using something else since we pretty much stopped with them afterwards. And I told him I’m shit about remembering to take my birth control pill every night. I can barely remember to take my vitamins.

I swallow even though my throat is completely dry and numbly take the bag to carry it back to the parking garage and find my car. I don’t really remember the drive home, or the elevator, or even unlocking my door.

I just remember trying to play it cool when Matt comes by later in the evening after just finishing up another client’s order.

And when I get a moment to myself in the middle of the night, I carefully extract myself from being wrapped tightly up in a blanket with him and make the trip to the bathroom. I’ve never been so scared to pee in my entire life.

I do the little one minute wait, scolding myself each time I want to cheat and look at the test. It’s just sixty seconds, I tell myself. Sixty seconds until everything you know might change completely.

Two pink lines and I’m bracing myself against the counter. Two pink lines and I’m scared I’ll lose Matt forever.

* * *

W
hile I’m hiding
the world’s hugest secret from him, Matt’s acting kind of twitchy in his own right. Usually he’s smooth with the comebacks and constantly cracking a joke one way or the other. Something is clearly distracting him and for a minute or two a horrible thought goes through my mind. What if he saw the test? What if he knows?

And then I remember he’s going to find out anyway, so it honestly doesn’t matter. Besides, he’d have a whole lot more to say on the subject I’m sure.

I get tired of not knowing what is going on with him and finally just ask him point-blank. “Is everything all right?”

It takes a moment before he realizes I’ve said something to him and he looks over at me, clearly confused. “Sorry, what was that?”

Even though I know it’s silly and well, probably hormones now, I get agitated with him easily. “Seriously? I asked you everything was okay. You seem a little… off.”

“Oh, that. I’m just thinking. About things.”

I laughed, shaking my head at his explanation. “Thinking about things, huh? Have fun with that, then. I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go out and get something to eat. I feel like I’ve been stuck inside this place all week.”

Not to mention the fact that I’m pregnant and the thought might be a little more than suffocating at the moment, but no big deal.

Matt squints his eyes and looks out the window. “I actually wanted to see if maybe you wanted to come back to my studio with me for little while. I wanted to show you something back there.”

I frown. This is not exactly where I imagine our night going, but okay. “Yeah sure. If that’s what you want to do. Then maybe after that some dinner? I’m a little famished if you can’t tell.”

And eating for two begins. Oh god, I really am pregnant, aren’t I?

* * *

T
hat studio is just
the same as the last time I set foot inside of it. All those sketches of the naked women aplenty. But now there are some new sketches, larger sketches from when I remembered him drawing them of me. To my left there is a drawing of me that must’ve been where he took the art piece idea from. And a few pieces of paper down from it are some of me in different poses standing up. I don’t remember doing those…

“Where did these come from?” I ask, pointing up to those newer sketchings of myself.

“I did those a couple weeks ago. I kind of had a momentary lapse of judgment I guess.”

The fact that Matt was drawing me after we broke up sends a shiver down my spine. He must truly love me then. And maybe it won’t be so hard to explain just what our circumstances are now. At least that’s all I can hope for, anyway.

Matt walks over to one of his work tables and gestures for me to follow behind. “See this? This is one of the things I was telling you about. Madame Fortesque has asked me to make a dozen or so small sculptures to add to her… establishment I guess. What do you think?”

Spread out on the table are dozens of sketches and a couple roughed out pieces of metal that strangely resemble two people embraced in different forms. One couple is lying down while another is standing up. They’re rough workings but they have the ability to be wonderful just like the rest of his work.

“Wow, for being so small they have so much detail. They’re great. Is there anything you can’t do?”

I smile at him warmly, liking the way a small blush creeps into the tops of his cheeks. It’s nice to know I can have that kind of effect on him as well.

“These aren’t the smallest I’ve done, actually. There’s two more that I wanted to show you but… I kind of had to set them up just right.”

Matt walks us back over to the posing area and walks around me once or twice, looking out of place. And I thought I was losing my shit today…

“What are you doing?”

He dismisses me with a wave of his hand. “Shh. Trying to concentrate here.”

Matt takes in a deep breath and before I can say another word he pulls out something from his back pocket. It’s a small and simple brown box.

He takes one of my hands in his and with the other pulls the top off of the box before setting it down on the stool next to us. Inside the box are two shining silver rings, a small one and a larger one sitting side-by-side.

It takes me a moment to grasp what’s going on here and in that moment he squeezes my hand and gets down on one knee, looking up at me with the strangest look in his eyes I’ve ever seen before. I’ve never seen him this vulnerable, this hopeful. And I know what he’s about to say.

“Falyn… I realize this probably sounds totally batshit crazy coming from me. You know I love you, I told you that probably a million times since we got back together not that long ago. But that doesn’t matter to me. It doesn’t matter to me that we’ve only been together for a short amount of time. In that time I’ve come to realize exactly two things. The first thing is that I really am a crazy asshole who makes some pretty weird life decisions along the way. And that’s okay, because the second thing I realized was that there is only one person in this world who is willing to put up with my crazy life decisions. One person that I wouldn’t trade out for anyone else in the world. And that person is you. I pushed and pulled and even after everything that we’ve been through we still manage to find ourselves together again. I think that’s saying something. I think that’s the universe telling me ‘Hey Matt, don’t fuck this up.’ Sorry… this isn’t the most romantic proposal ever, but I think you get what I mean. So Falyn Morrissey, would you do me the extreme honor of marrying me? Or would that be just too weird?”

I laugh at his choice of words because only Matt could throw in all the obscenities and still make it romantic. My eyes well up with tears automatically and I swallow against the lump in my throat. Even before I found out about being pregnant I would’ve easily said yes in a heartbeat. He’s right—he’s crazy and I’m willing to take it on.

“Of course I will,” I say, sniffling. Matt jumps up and scoops me up easily, kissing me all over my face in complete and utter joy. I never knew I could make someone so happy.

“There’s just one thing though. I might need a bigger wedding dress.”