Luster (12 page)

L
eft jab
. Right jab. Left hook. Right uppercut.

Thunk. Thunk. Thunk. My fists hit the bag with the same precision and accuracy I’ve been working on since I was thirteen. And every single time since then the only thing I ever see is Donald’s stupid fucking face on the bag. His face getting all the hits instead of me, instead of my family.

The sweat easily drips down my back and chest, pouring from my hairline and other ridiculous places. But I don’t care. It’s the only thing left I have to do before I take it to the next level. Before I actually go find the motherfucker and end his miserable sorry ass.

Something goes sailing right past my vision, making me spin around and put my arms in up defense, ready to strike. Sam backs up, her arms up to block me, her eyes wide.

“Sorry,” I mutter, lowering my hands. “Didn’t see you there.”

She rolls her eyes at me. “Duh, I figured that. That’s why I tried to get your attention with that metal file. Look, I wanted to talk to you.”

I already know what this is about and truth be told I don’t blame her for wanting to talk to somebody about it. This whole fucking situation is more frustrating than I can handle, but Sam is the one who has a bigger stake in everything. It’s she and James who are trying to adopt Liam as their own son. And with everything going on with Donald…

“Liam told me what happened that day.”

I search her face, trying to figure out what he may have seen. And as I take off the boxing gloves and hang them up on the wall I get a bad feeling that it wasn’t anything good.

“It’s just like we thought it was. Thought it
is
. Donald’s dealing again, and this time he’s brought some people in on it I think. At least going by what Liam’s told me and James.”

I close my eyes and try to imagine being in my little brothers shoes right now. Scared of what’s going on around my house, scared of my own father among other things. It makes me sick enough to my stomach as it is.

“Liam’s been talking about seeing certain people over and over again in the house. Weird looking people he says. They’re always bringing in boxes, leaving with backpacks full of stuff. I can’t tell if Donald’s making or just selling but either way… We’ve got to get our brother out of there. This is just too fucking much. I can’t stand another goddamn day to go by without knowing he’s safe with us. So I’m gonna have to ask you something I didn’t want to do before, and I still really don’t want to ask you now. Can you help us? You already know what I told you about the cost for trying to fight Donald in court. We have to get some sort of proof if we want social services to finally step in and see what’s going on over there. Can you help pay for it?”

It should be so easy for me to just turn around and say yes. After all this is Liam were talking about here. But the truth of the matter is that I’m not sure I can exactly help financially.

“I’ll try to help as best as I can, Sam. But most of my money goes towards paying for this place, the bills and stuff. I have some money put away though… I can give that to you. Whatever you need as far as me watching Liam or anything, let me know. I’ll do whatever I can.”

It’s clear to me this is not the answer she was expecting. “Not that I want to get all up in your business or anything Matty, but shouldn’t you have more now? I thought you were signing some big fancy contract with that company your girlfriend works for. Right? What’s going on there?”

I know she’s just being concerned for me but I bristle at her words still. “You’re right. It’s none of your business. I’m still working on the contract with Falyn and we have to remember that they won’t pay me all at once. In fact… I’m not exactly sure of the payment terms now that I think about it. Look, whatever the case is, I will help you out as best as I can. That’s all I can do.”

Sam’s face softens, and she nods at me. “Okay. Thank you for that. And, I would go in for a hug and all but you’re disgusting right now. Sorry,” she says with a small smile. At least one of us can find humor in the situation. I just shrug it off and turn back towards the bag, trying to fix Donald’s face on it once more in my head.

“What about Falyn?”

“What about her? If you think I would ask my girlfriend for money…”

While she thinks so, she’d be wrong. Now if Falyn offered it up… that would be different story. But I wouldn’t in a million years expect her to feel obligated and pay for some ridiculously expensive lawyer.

“Her dad has that big company. The hotels? Wouldn’t they have a big fancy lawyer on retainer as well? Maybe instead of lending money they could have the lawyer help with setting up a case against Donald?”

I chew on the inside of my cheek, wondering the same thing myself. “That’s a good point. I guess it doesn’t hurt to ask her.”

* * *

I
click
on the tab in the spreadsheet that reads THIS YEAR. The year is nearly coming to the halfway mark here and I’m still not anywhere close to bringing in the same kind of revenue I always bring in by this point in the year. I knew I was going to see that as soon as I looked at the records, but it still doesn’t suck any less seeing it right here in front of me.

That was the whole point of this damn contract with Falyn in the first place. Help boost my sales, help more people learn my name. Networking and all that stupid bullshit that I don’t care about whatsoever.

And after speaking to my CPA… The idea of saving Liam seems further and further away. I had quite a bit money squirreled away, but I forgot that I’ve used it for different things. Things that I didn’t necessarily have to help out with, or things I didn’t need to buy. I didn’t have as much to lose, I guess.

That’s not true though— I’ve always had Liam and even Sam in the back my head when it came time for me to make money. They were the only thing I thought about when I had to move out and start working for Madame Fortesque.

Anger races through me as I remember those first few years outside of the house. Some would probably say I had a dream job, but I definitely wouldn’t agree. Everyone does things for their own reasons and I’m no different, but I think maybe part of me got lost when I was working for her. The money though… The money was pretty damn good. And I can make a lot of money with my art now, so that’s saying something.

I slam the laptop shut, tired of looking at numbers and figures on the screen. The point is still very clear to me — I’m not as rich as I should be — and it couldn’t have come at a worse time.

If only I hadn’t spent all that money on all that shit for our wedding…. her name pops in my head unwillingly and I had to fight to calm down when I think of that day. Donald may have been the one who screwed up my childhood but Dinah was the one who fucked me up for good. And she had the actual nerve to even come up and talk to me at Eliza’s showing that night?

That bitch totally lost her marbles. She has a funny way of getting under my skin in a bad kind of way. She knows all the right buttons to piss me off by pushing them in a way only she can. And bringing up my previous employer is definitely one of the best ways to do it.

All this shit stews in my brain and I wish I could just flush it down the toilet and never see it again. I should be living it up right now, enjoying my money, enjoying my youth, and damn sure enjoying my girlfriend. And her fine ass.

But I am finding myself more and more apt to distracting myself lately than ever before. I can’t tell if Falyn notices it or not, but I have. It’s not really her fault, but I don’t want to face the reality of my situation. Knowing everything that’s going on with my brother, everything that’s gone on in my life so far, plus coming to the realization that my money just isn’t as great as I thought it was. If I weren’t the stubborn hard ass that I am deep down, I definitely would be giving up right now.

Determination… that was the only way I got through working for Madame Fortesque.

A thought strikes me so clearly that I swear to god I hear a bell ringing in my head. That’s it! I know what I need to do now.

I pick up the phone and pull up the contacts list. I push the button and let it ring, waiting for the vague answering machine message to come on before hitting the special extension number. It rings three times and then I hear her voice on the phone, taking me back in time.

“Lady In Waiting, what’s your number?”

I clear my throat, suddenly anxious. “855.”

A gasp comes through the line. “Matthew? Is that really you?”

I
refuse to cry
. I will not cry. These are not tears falling down my cheeks.

But who am I kidding? I’ve potentially screwed up my plan to win over my father and now I have no idea how to gain his trust back. Sure, I can get Matt to sign the contract, but my father is already of the belief that I can’t handle something as simple as that. If I hadn’t decided to literally fuck around with Matt, none of this would have happened.

No, I can’t think like that. This isn’t Matt’s fault—it’s mine. And I’ve just got to learn to own up to it. More likely than not I’m just overreacting to what Father said. He even said that we’ll talk more about his plans once I have the contract signed.

I slowly take in a deep breath and let it out, wiping at my face. I will not cry. There we go, that’s… shit. Seriously, who am I kidding? Trying to convince myself that this isn’t that big of a deal isn’t working.

At least I know Matt will set things right for me in my head. If I really am overreacting he’ll call me out on it.

I parallel park my car and look at myself in the rearview mirror, making sure that any signs of my emotions are gone. It’s one thing to get upset and pace around and generally go full freak-out mode in front of Matt – it’s quite another thing to actually cry in front of him. I just can’t do that.

I shield my eyes from the bright sun overhead, getting a good look at the houses down the hill from me. I’m easily a good four blocks away from Matt’s place, but from what I can tell this was the closest parking space I could grab. Go figure. I guess it’s a good thing I decided to wear my flats instead of my high heels. That would’ve made for an even crappier walk.

I walk half of my way down the steep sidewalk and think about what Matt may be doing right now. I think he told me something about working on another project but I’m not sure. It’s actually hard to believe it’s been two days since I’ve seen him, now that I think about it…

Should I even bother bringing up Dinah to him? I mean I did run into her and all… part of me really wants to. I’m anxious to hear what he has to say, especially given what she told me. But maybe it’s just a fire that I need to let die. There’s no point in getting him all riled up if it doesn’t matter, anyway.

All that stuff she said… so ridiculous. I mean Matt is definitely a simplistic guy. He has literally zero things on his walls in his apartment, barely any furniture, and it looks like your average just out of college bachelor’s pad. Just because he is more of a minimalist doesn’t mean that he’s broke. He has to have money. There’s no way he doesn’t.

And even if he was running into money troubles… why should that matter? Right? He wouldn’t actually be using me for mine. That would be so unlike him, like it goes against everything I’ve learned about him so far.

And what Dinah said about his family being some sort of sob story, oh please. She was obviously just trying to get in my head. Why would he lie about something like that? I’ve met his family before, a couple times now actually. His sister and brother are awesome, and I even like his brother-in-law James. That Donald guy… he doesn’t seem as bad as Matt makes him out to be though. I mean, I know I’ve heard a lot about him but he just has this look to him. Like maybe he’s just misunderstood. I don’t know, but I wouldn’t doubt that Matt has had a pretty rough life. If he says he has, then he has. It’s that simple. And I should take him for his word, and not the word of his ex-girlfriend. Ex fiancée, rather.

He’s a cocky guy though, and he always does have this ridiculous way of getting inside my head. At first I thought it was just annoying, and maybe he was just an asshole. But it’s really deeper than that I think. Matt’s a very clever man, and he knows it too. He could easily charm the pants off of someone and get them to believe whatever he wanted them to. His powers of persuasion are endless it seems. He is constantly persuading me to let go and enjoy myself more and more each time I see him. And that’s a good thing… I think.

But I think deep down he might actually think I’m really gullible. And I really hope he doesn’t think this, but he might even think I’m a little bit of an airhead too. He’s attracted to me no doubt, and it’s incredibly flattering, but I hope he sees me for more than just the outside. Because I love the outside of him, but I also really like the inside, the real true Matt Walsh.

He wouldn’t try to pull some stupid money scheme on me. And even though my wallet is missing… Shit.

I forgot about that. And to be honest, I think it may been stolen and not me just leaving it somewhere as Matt has suggested a few times now. But who could possibly do something like that? I keep it so close to me all the time…

No. I won’t even let my mind go there. There’s just no way…

I try to shake my head clear of these ridiculous thoughts before I around the corner to his place. Something is telling me to hold back though. To not just stroll into his house like I usually do.

I slow my roll and start walking quietly towards his driveway, looking to the front door. Nobody is there, but Matt is home. His garage door is open so he must be working in the studio. I let myself relax and keep going.

I really have to stop being so damn paranoid all the time.

My phone beeps at me from my pocket and I pull it out, rolling my eyes at the message from Eliza. Apparently she’s back with her roommate again. I don’t know what gets into that girl’s brain, but it certainly isn’t common sense when it comes to the ladies.

As I get to the edge of his driveway I hang back when I see someone walking out. It’s an older woman, possibly in her fifties but still very beautiful, strolling out with Matt. The way she dresses suggests that she’s pretty wealthy herself, given the ridiculous fur she’s wearing around her neck. She reminds me of an old washed-up Hollywood glamour type. She stands out very clearly against the rest of the landscape.

I can’t exactly hear what they’re saying but Matt’s having a good laugh with her. The lady leans in way too closely for my comfort and begins whispering something to him. Why whisper? Like anyone’s around… at least that
they
know of, anyway.

Matt nods at the lady before she pulls him into a long embrace, making the blood inside me boil. She may be old but there is no mistaking what her thoughts are when it comes to my boyfriend. She definitely wants a piece of him and while I can’t blame her, she can’t have any either.

He’s mine.

But what really angers me is when she leans in and gives him a not so innocent peck on each of his cheeks, way too close to Matt’s lips for her to be anything friendly or platonic if you ask me. And it hits me just then.

Why is he shirtless? If he was working in the studio then he would have on all of his gear he needs to work with the metal. And that definitely does not include working without a shirt.

The woman gives him a wide grin and pulls out something from one of her fancy pockets of the designer coat she’s wearing. My jaw nearly drops to the ground when I see what it is. A huge wad of cash.

What the hell is this? What the hell is he
doing
?

I tiptoe closer so that I can finally pick up on some of what they’re saying.

“Thank you darling. I truly appreciate your services. I should definitely come by more often.”

The ladies voice has a smoky undertone to it, but still sounds like a sultry movie star. Is she one? Should I recognize this woman? I don’t, but it’s very clear to me that Matt knows her quite well. Too well in fact.

She leaves and gives him one last longing hug before taking off and getting into the ride that has just pulled up for her. Of course, it’s some fancy limo.

Who is this old ass broad and why is she paying my boyfriend for services? And what kind of services has he given her?