Love, Always (29 page)

I’d live for her so that I could see the smile that I miss every day. I’d die for her so she could find the happiness and strength she couldn’t find with me.

When Dee came crashing into my life, her emotions ran so vast I’d get lost in her and forget about myself. When she held me, I believed in fate and destiny, and knew our future would be worth every hardship I had endured before her. When she kissed me, she kissed away all the wrong I had ever done, and made me right.

I’d do it again without any regrets, because the woman she became when I ceased to be is a magnificent creature whose sorrows no longer surface unexpectedly. The tidal waves of her depression no longer hold her hostage. The life she has created without me is far greater than I could ever have hoped for her.

The future I had seen when I first met Dee, wasn’t for us. I just laid a foundation of sorts. My death shattered her, but it was in her ability to fall apart so completely that healed her and made her whole.

She is a tale worth knowing. Loving Dee was my only redeeming quality and one of the few things in my life I had done right. I have found comfort in knowing that. Just as I have found comfort in knowing she can love and be loved indefinitely by someone who isn’t me. That comfort envelops me as I watch her eyes brimming with joy over the sound of her new baby’s heartbeat on the monitor. No longer living in the past, she embraces her life and the life growing inside of her.

I’m proud of her and of my best friend who did what I never could. He thinks only of his girls. Adam’s every breath and every thought is for them. He left the band behind without any remorse. He lived our dream and then packed it away when family called. He’s made a life with a career that centers him and keeps him close to home.

He gave my daughter a dad and makes sure she knows me. He gave Dee a future worth living. And now he’s having a son. They don’t know it yet, it’s still too early but I’m privy to such information.

Not every man in my situation can say they’re happy with how it all turned out, but I am. There’s joy in knowing you’ve loved and been loved by someone as special as Dee.

EXCERPT FROM

The Repeating History Series

Exclusive Excerpt

MJ Morphis

Summer 2007

I’m getting ready for the last senior party before everyone heads off to college. I normally don’t go to these types of parties, or any parties really. I’m making an exception tonight though because I feel it’s time to actually do something out of my comfort zone. Tonight I won’t worry about consequences. I will do whatever I want, whenever I want, and with whomever I want. I’m eighteen years old and tired of trying to please everyone with being “the good girl”. My ex-boyfriend, Guy, of four years broke up with me last week because he ‘didn’t have time for me.’” I guess he had enough time for, Faith, who he had sex with later that night. Yeah, of course I was sad and hurt at first, but now I’m just pissed that I wasted so much time on him.

My phone buzzes on the bathroom counter breaking me from my thoughts.

Jessica:
Are you ready yet?

Me:
Almost. Five minutes.

I look at the girl staring back at me in the mirror. Normally I just try to look decent enough not to scare people, but tonight I’m going for hot. I left
my long blonde hair down and decided to straighten it versus going with my natural wavy look. My eye shadow is a smoky grey and I applied so many coats of waterproof mascara I lost count. It helped to bring out my blue-green eyes so it was worth it. I pull down my little V-neck, black dress for about the tenth time since I put it on. How can girls wear dresses like this and still manage to function without flashing the whole world?

My phone buzzes again.

Jessica:
Hurry up boo. We’re already late!!!!

Me:
Chill. Walking out now.

“Mom, I’m leaving. See ya later,” I say as I peek into her room.

She smiles up from the book she’s reading. “Okay, sweetie. Have fun and be careful.”

My mom is the best. She pretty much lets me do whatever I want.

As I walk out to Jes’ blue Ford truck, I can already hear the radio blasting MiMS’ “This Is Why I’m Hot”.
I laugh silently and open her passenger door.

“Damn Ainsley!” she screams, while turning down the music. “You’re seriously going to start some shit tonight.”

I look at her confused, because how can she know that before we even get to the party.

“Stop being dramatic, Jes.” I sigh.

She rolls her eyes. “You look freakin’ hot. Just watch. This is your first time being single since ninth grade. Every guy there is going to try to hit that before you leave.”

“Oh my God, did you really just say ‘hit that’?” I giggle.

“Unfortunately that probably includes that prick, Guy. I heard Faith has already left to go to Florida State, so he’ll be looking for someone to fuck tonight,” she adds.

I flinch at her words. “Whatever. I wouldn’t touch him again if he was the last person on earth. I’m going out to have a good time with you. That’s all.”

She smiles wickedly at me before backing out of the driveway.

My heart immediately beats faster.

Jes rarely smiles like that, but when she does it’s
never good for me.

“Jes, just spit it out!”

She briefly glances in my direction, her smile is still scary as hell.

“Well, I heard Greyson changed his mind and decided to come to the party. I’m just wondering how long it’ll take before you give in to those dimples of his.” She chuckles
and turns the music back up as if she didn’t just drop that huge atomic bomb on me.

My heart starts to beat so fast and hard I swear I can hear it over the ridiculously loud music playing in her truck. Greyson Blevins is the hottest guy I’ve ever seen. His hair is cut in a short black Mohawk and he has the most
intense
green eyes, but nothing can beat his perfect smile – it’s impossible to resist. His lips are full and kissable and when he smiles, his dimples make you see stars.
I’ve
had a crush on him for as long as I can remember. When I moved to Tampa in eighth grade he was the first to befriend me. We were inseparable until Guy asked me out. I said yes to Guy because while Greyson was nice to me, he never acted as if he was interested in anything more than being friends. Guy is the exact opposite of Greyson. Guy looks like an Abercrombie model with his blond spiked hair and baby blue eyes. After I started dating Guy, Greyson acted as if he forgot I existed. I missed his friendship but I tried not to let it bother me. Even though I was happy with Guy, every time I saw Greyson with another girl, my heart broke a little. I would never be what he wanted and I needed to get over that.

I made the mistake of telling Jes this during one of our girl nights. She never liked Guy and always tried to convince me that I deserved better. I just brushed it off. Guy could be really charming, but as time went on he started changing into a demanding and selfish prick who apparently cheated on me more than one occasion.

I take some deep breaths and tell myself not to get worked up. It’s not like Greyson ever wanted me so why would tonight be any different?

We pull up to Ashley’s house and I try getting out of the truck without flaunting my black cheekie style panties to the few people standing outside drinking and talking. “Party Like A Rockstar” is playing when we walk in the door. Jes immediately starts jumping up and down before she leans in to scream in my ear, “This is going to be epic!” I laugh out loud and nod my head.

Jes is such a beautiful girl and tonight she looks stunning in her blood red dress. She has an ebony complexion, a bright smile and wears contacts that make her eyes appear purple. Her body is what men dream of, medium build with an ass that demands a second look.

This will be my only chance at being a little reckless since college isn’t going to be easy. I have to make sure I keep up my GPA or I’ll lose my scholarships. My mom is a single mother and I can’t burden her with student loans. I’m only going to get this one chance and I refuse to screw it up.

As Jes and I walk around the house, I notice everyone staring at me and whispering. This is exactly why I hate going to shit like this. People are always judging you, but tonight I’m not going to let it bother me at all.

Just as the soon as I finish my thought, Greyson walks in with his younger brother, Hayes and Hayes’ best friend, Talon. My
mouth drops open and my eyes widen.

Damn it, why does he have to be so freakin’ hot?

Greyson is wearing a tight black shirt and
worn jeans that hang loose on his hips in that sexy way, he looks mouthwatering. I manage to drag my eyes away from him and move them
to the two party crashers at his side. Of course Hayes and Talon would crash the senior party. Those two are always looking for trouble
.
Luckily for them,
one glance at their playful faces is all you need to forget what they had done wrong. The three Blevins brothers have always been good looking. Thomas is two years older than Greyson and Hayes is two years younger. I’m actually surprised Thomas isn’t here also. Normally he is always up for a party, I guess he really was taking school seriously. I’d heard through our mutual friends that he was taking his studies even more serious than usual now that he was trying to get into medical school.

Greyson scans the room slowly before his eyes finally come to rest on me. His gaze
locks
with mine and he lifts his left eyebrow in appreciation. That’s when I notice he pierced it since graduation.

And just when I thought he couldn’t get any hotter.

I watch his eyes slowly
leave my face, falling to my chest and waist, then going down my
long tanned legs. My legs look extra-long tonight thanks to the heels I’m wearing. His eyes dart back up to my face after what feels like hours, but in reality is probably only a matter of seconds. The look he gives me has my stomach clenching.

Before I know it, his look turns into what appears to be anger before storming away from me. Seconds later I realize why.

Guy sneaks up behind me and I feel his hot breath whispering in my ear.