Love, Always (26 page)

“That’s correct,” he says, clearing his throat. “It’s just a name.” He shrugs. “You can drug test me if you’d like.” Ms. Tejada simply nods, so Adam continues nervously under her watchful eyes. “I’ve taken care of Josie since the beginning. We postponed going on tour until her pediatrician gave me the okay. While Dee was in the hospital…” He looks nervously at me, so I give him my best encouraging smile. “When Dee was in the hospital, I had a nanny take care of Josie, but Dee’s her primary caretaker since leaving the hospital. She’s a great mom; nurturing, patient, loving. All the things a baby needs. Together or apart, we’re good parents. We love Josie and do our best by her.”

“But what about when you’re apart?” Ms. Tejada asks. “Certainly a growing baby needs the stability of a normal home with both parents present.”

“Josie and I will continue to go on tour with Adam until she starts school,” I answer. Although Adam and I have never spoken about it, it sounds like a good plan. “While we visit cities, we take Josie to playgrounds so she can play with other kids.”

“When she starts school, I can talk to the band about only touring over the summer so that they can come with me. Or,” he shrugs again, “I’ve been thinking about starting a music school and staying home permanently.”

I feel my eyes triple in size and stare at Adam who’s looking back at me shyly.

“You’d leave the band?” Ms. Tejada asks.

“I found something a lot bigger than music.”

After the meeting, Adam and I pick Josie up from Hayley and Max’s place and then head to the beach for an early dinner. I take Josie to the shore, removing our shoes so we can soak our toes in the water while Adam orders our pizza.

We talked quite a bit on the drive, and I can’t believe how much thought Adam has put into opening up a school. He’s gone as far as speaking to a realtor and actually looking at locations. It’s insane to think that one day he’ll leave all his hard work behind without a second thought. But he wants to be there for Josie. And for me. We’re a couple of lucky girls.

I smile back at Josie as she splashes her feet in the water, getting us both wet in the process. After a while she tries to stand, so I stand with her, holding her chubby little hands in mine and keeping her upright on her unsteady legs. It’s hard to imagine her walking in a short few months and the independence she’ll find with each step. But I encourage her to move forward, not wanting her to be afraid.

“Mama’s got you,” I tell her as we walk along the shore.

She squeals when the water washes over her feet, and I hear Adam’s chuckle in the distance. I look up at him, and my heart stops when I see him and his panty dropping smile. Mine. Not completely mine, since I share him with our daughter, but mine all the same.

Adam takes over with Josie while I pull out our blankets and set up our picnic. After a while I call Adam and Josie to me and hand Josie her beach toys as Adam and I settle into our dinner. We eat quietly, with only Josie’s babble between us and our hands constantly brushing over each other.

After Adam throws away our trash, he pulls me into his lap and kisses my cheek. “Move in with me,” he says, not a request, but a statement. “We can sell your condo and—”

“And,” I interrupt, “sell yours and we can buy a house.”

“A house?”

“With a pool.”

“And a garage.” His face is pressed against mine and I can feel his smile spread.

“Well, yeah,” I agree. “How else is Josie gonna start her own band?”

We walk the short distance to my condo, already making plans to put our condos on the market tomorrow and start looking for a house. Our home.

I bathe Josie and leave Adam and her to their own devices while I make the final adjustments to my manuscript so I can publish it in a few hours. At midnight. My heart races just thinking about pressing that little button that will change my life. After midnight, I will be a writer. An author. Whether I succeed or not is irrelevant. I’ll have done something few people are capable of. I’ll have made myself completely vulnerable, only allowing my written word to define me.

I may have to take a sleeping pill and sleep the next few days away so I don’t sit obsessively at the computer checking my rankings and ratings.

After a couple hours, I find Josie asleep on top of a snoring Adam. I crawl into bed with them, hugging them lightly so I don’t wake them, and soak in my family. I doze off next to them and only wake up when I feel Adam stir.

I open my eyes and find Adam smiling at me.

“I’m gonna put her in her crib.”

“Then you’re mine?”

He raises his eyebrows and I wink at him, feeling the tension begin to build up between my legs.

“I’ll be quick.” He adjusts his shorts before picking up Josie, and I giggle like the carefree girl Adam brings out in me.

I roll onto my stomach and close my eyes as I wait for Adam. After a short minute he returns, jumping in bed on top of me. I turn around and look at him.

“What do you want?” I tease.

“Nuh-uh. You said I was yours,” he reminds me.

“Yeah, to cuddle.”

“No cuddling.”

He bites my ass through the covers, and although I feel the tension increase, I stay on my stomach. Adam pulls away my covers and slowly removes my underwear, but I remain where I am with a sly smile on my face.

“Scratch my back.”

“I’ll do better.”

He leans over me, and I feel his penis throbbing against my back as he kisses my neck. I go to turn over, but he keeps me in place with his full body weight on me.

“Can’t breathe.”

“Shhhh.”

Without another word, Adam slips inside of me, and I gasp into my pillow. With one hand supporting himself and the other rubbing my back, he begins to move slowly inside of me, and I am helpless to do anything but savor the moment.

His movements become more pronounced and I scream into the pillow when one of his thrusts hits a nerve that forces me to release everything.

“Adam.”

“I’m almost there, sweetie.”

I continue to moan out his name until he twitches one last time and collapses on top of me. I turn over, taking him with me, and kiss his nose when we are facing each other. Adam pulls me to him and I curl into his chest, wanting to hear his heartbeat.

“Now we can cuddle,” he tells me as he runs his fingers through my hair.

Adam

“If you could have anything in the world, what would it be?” I ask Dee, and she scrunches her eyes at me as she thinks it over.

“An island,” she replies after a couple of moments. “My very own private island. A waterfall would be nice, but not necessary.”

“A private island with a waterfall, got it.” I kiss her lips softly, enjoying her early morning grogginess.

“You should probably have it sprayed for bugs too.” She yawns before wrapping her arms around my neck and pulling me closer to her.

“Anything else?”

“It should also have a big beautiful house in the midst of all the exotic wilderness. With lots of windows so the animals can see us fuck.” She winks at me.

“I liked it better when you didn’t swear.” I trace my tongue over her lips and can feel her smile.

“You better make it two houses if you want me to quit swearing.”

“Two houses then,” I murmur into her neck, and she wraps her legs around my waist as she runs her fingers through my hair. “I’d buy you ten islands.”

“That seems excessive,” she says, pushing me away. “My vagina would get sore from all the
love making
.”

“Your vagina,” I say, rubbing my fingers over the lips of said vagina, “enjoys me.”

“If we had ten islands, my vagina would hitchhike her way to a nunnery.”

I lift my eyebrows and she giggles. I love the sound of it and want to hear it again. “You don’t think nuns get some sort of foreplay?

“Not in excess, and you, sir, are excessively horny.”

I roll off of Dee and take her with me as we laugh at our ridiculous banter. Now that she is on top, her hair drapes down so that it rests on my bare chest. Every inch of her is perfect. And she’s mine.

“I wanna get you something,” I tell her.

Her eyes glow before she jumps off of me. “I have something for you,” she says, rushing off the bed before I can grab her again.

I prop my head up on the pillow and watch her rummage through her drawer until she finds it – a piece of paper. She hands it to me, but stays standing by the bedside as a blush creeps into her cheeks.

“Don’t make fun,” she says as her cheeks turn redder. “It’s my first love song. Although it’s not really a love song, just a bunch of rambling.”

My heart swells at her words, and I want to pull her onto my lap, but I know Dee, and now isn’t the time for lovey-dovey mushiness.

I hand it back to her with a hidden smile. “I can’t understand it, Dee,” I tease, and the blush that had once invaded her cheeks evaporates.

“Well, I’m not reading it to you.” Her eyes are slits, and I try not to openly chuckle at her sudden anger.

“Oh, c’mon, sweetie.” I try to grab her waist, but she moves away. “Your handwriting is chicken scratch,” I say, and she smacks me. “Like a drunk chicken.”

She huffs at my joke and turns quickly on her heel. “I’m gonna be in the toilet while you try to decipher my hieroglyphics.”

“That’s sexy,” I laugh and look back at the words she’s written for me.

“You’re a lucky man, Adam.”

“The luckiest,” I agree.

I concentrate on the paper and her words and am in shock. This woman who has every reason to fear love has exposed her soul to me. These simple words scribbled on a piece of paper leave her naked and vulnerable. The trust she’s put in me is overwhelming and humbling. Yeah, I’m a lucky man.

I grin like a love-sick idiot as I re-read her words. Dee chose me, not because tragedy threw us together and unified us, but because of me. She just fell in love with me all on her own.

When all I saw was darkness, you were my light.

When I was lost in despair, you were my hope.

You saved me from myself before I knew I needed saving.

Your sturdy heart grounds me.

Your patient ways found me.

Your love blooms inside of me,

Giving me more than I ever dreamt of.

I am your lover, your friend

Your heart and soul

Because you saw what wasn’t there

And made me.

I love you, my sweet heart.

Always