Living a Lie (7 page)

Miss Davis came round the desk. She paced up and down behind Kitty before coming to sit on the edge. The desk groaned and creaked, and Kitty thought it would end up in a heap on the floor.

“Kitty?”

“Yes, Miss Davis?”

“I hope Georgie hasn’t been saying anything to make you afraid?”

Kitty held her tongue. If she let it loose it was bound to tell a lie.

“Ah! I thought as much.” Miss Davis made a mental note to speak to Georgie at the first opportunity.

“I am well aware of the disastrous fostering she experienced although it was largely her own fault, as I’m sure she has told you.”

Again, Kitty was silent.

“You do trust me, don’t you?”

Kitty thought a moment. She had come to trust Miss Davis, but how could she trust her now when she was trying to send her away?

“I

suppose so. “

“Do you recall when you were brought before the assessment board last year?”

“Yes.” She hadn’t liked that at all. Those people meant well, but they didn’t know how she felt. No one did. except maybe Harry, and Georgie.

“I know you resented being brought before the board, but it was only for your own good. Their job is to match you with a couple they believe you will be happy with. They had to ask questions, to get to know you as best they could, so they could make the right decision concerning your future. You do understand that, don’t you, Kitty?”

“Yes, I understand that.”

Miss Davis gave a sigh of relief.

“We’re all here to help you, Kitty.”

“Yes, Miss Davis.” Kitty kept her gaze on the floor. She didn’t want to look up, afraid to acknowledge that she might be sent away against her will.

Returning to her chair, Miss Davis maddened Kitty by drumming her fingers on the desk-top. Her head was down, and her chin buried in the fleshy folds of her neck as she peeped at Kitty over the rims of her spectacles.

“I really thought you would be as delighted as I am at this news.”

“I’m sorry. And I do like the Connors,” Kitty admitted.

“It’s just that I don’t want to live with them.”

There was a moment then, during which Kitty looked at the carpet and Miss Davis looked at her. This lovely girl had come to her frightened and lonely, having seen her own mother leap to her death then her father set fire to the house, yet even in the act of destroying himself, save his only daughter’s life.

This tragic sequence of events had brought the child to this place where Miss Davis, without being drawn into an emotional trap that could only hurt her too, had cared for Kitty with as much love and attention as she could rightfully give.

Now the child had blossomed into a young woman with a dark and sensuous beauty that might even yet be her downfall. Kitty was not tall, neither was she short; she was petite and feminine, with a perfect little figure and a graciousness that caught the eye. With that rich black hair and magnificent glowing brown eyes, she stood out in a crowd.

Unsettled by the prolonged span of silence, Kitty spoke her fears.

“Will they make me go against my will?”

The woman was suddenly afraid for the child. But her answer was dictated to her by higher authorities.

“We’ll have to see,” she answered warily.

“We mustn’t forget you’ve been here almost two years now. You are still a minor, and someone has to take responsibility for you. The Connors have offered you a good home. I believe we would all be failing in our duty if we didn’t at least give it a try… and that includes you, Kitty.”

“Can I please go now?”

“For the moment.” She waved a hand and looked away. Sometimes this job could get to you.

Days came and went and soon it was Friday. As usual, 60

Kitty said cheerio to her schoolmates and ran the half-mile to the factory where Georgie worked. The house-rules didn’t allow Kitty to make any detours from school, but if she ran really fast, she could reach the factory and be back with Georgie before anyone realised she was a few minutes late.

Her friend was watching out for her.

“I won’t be long,” she called through an upper window.

Kitty sat on the low wall that fronted the factory. Here in this pleasant white-painted building, they made plastic macs, rubber diving suits, and all manner of containers. When Kitty asked Georgie how she liked working there, she answered, “We throw things about and have a laugh, and there’s a bloke who works in the cutting-room who fancies me rotten… he’d give anything to get his leg over.”

You never got a proper answer from Georgie, so Kitty took it all with a pinch of salt.

While Kitty waited, the March breeze blew a sheet of newspaper down the street. When it attached itself to her leg, she picked it up and began to read. She was still reading when Georgie crept up behind her and shouted:

“BOO!”

Kitty nearly jumped out of her skin.

“You’re wicked,” she laughed.

“What’s that you’re reading, gal?”

“It’s a newspaper, and it’s two months old,” Kitty told her.

“It must have blown out of one of those rubbish bins.” She pointed to a row of giant bins standing in a yard some short distance away; one of them had a lid missing.

“It’s all about politics,” groaned Kitty. Pointing to one headline, she read out, “Riots in Cairo,” and another announced,

“Jimmy Carter Sworn in as 39th President of the US’.

Peeping over Kitty’s shoulder at the newspaper, Georgie was open-mouthed at the sight of a big-breasted woman advertising bras.

“Bloody hell, gal!” she cried.

“Look at them boobs! I wouldn’t want to get caught in the eye with one of them.”

They laughed all the way back, and they laughed as they went up the stairs to get washed and changed. They were still chuckling as they came down to the dining room, and lighthearted when the meal was over. However, when everyone settled down to watch television or play a game of snooker, Kitty drew Georgie to the far end of the room where they sat talking until the bell summoned them for bed.

“Have you heard anything more about the Connor family?” Georgie asked anxiously.

Kitty’s spirits fell. She had tried so hard to put all that out of her mind, but there was no escaping it.

“Miss Picton told me just now,” she revealed, “I’m to report to Miss Davis at ten o’clock in the morning.” She had butterflies in her stomach just talking about it.

Georgie was philosophical as usual.

“Don’t think the worst,” she pleaded.

“Maybe she just wants to tell you the Connors don’t want you after all?”

Kitty didn’t argue the point, but she instinctively felt there was more to it than that.

“What about you?” she asked, deliberately changing the subject.

“Did the foreman say you can stay on permanently when you leave here?”

Georgie made a face.

“No such luck,” she groaned. Sticking her stomach out, she flared her nostrils and mimicked the foreman’s gruff voice.

“It’s no good you asking me for

permanent work, ‘cause I ain’t got enough to keep me regulars going, never mind tekking on a daft bugger like you. “

Kitty shook with laughter. Last week the foreman had chased her out of the factory grounds, so she knew Georgie had portrayed him to perfection.

“I’m sorry,” she apologised, ‘you really wanted that job, didn’t you?

“

Georgie shrugged.

“So what, gal? I’ll get another. If I don’t they’ll keep me here, and I don’t want that.”

“Would it be so awful?”

“Bloody terrible!”

“It’s funny, don’t you think?” Kitty thought she had come to terms with Georgie’s leaving, but with every passing day it got harder.

“What’s funny?”

“Well… you and me.” Kitty wasn’t sure how to put it, but in the end it came out simply.

“You don’t want to stay and I don’t want to go.”

“You might be glad to leave if you’d been here as long as me.”

“What will you do?” The thought of that big outside world still terrified Kitty.

Georgie, on the other hand, was thrilled.

“I’ll have my own little place… a one-bed council flat, I expect. Through the week I’ll work my fingers to the bone and on a weekend I’ll dance the night away and come home with a good-looking fellow on my arm. After a while I’ll scrimp and save and buy myself a minibus… a bright blue one!”

Kitty was fascinated.

“But you can’t drive.”

“I’ll learn.”

“Then what?”

“Then I’ll run people about… take them on outings and drive them to work. I’ll be my own boss. It’s what I want more than anything.”

Kitty admired her immensely.

“I’ll help you,” she promised.

“When my father’s money comes to me, I’ll buy you the brightest minibus we can find, then you can teach me to drive as well.”

Georgie shook her head.

“Not you. Kitty gal,” she said.

“I was never a scholar, and I’m no good at anything worthwhile … but you’ve got brains. You were meant for better things than driving a minibus.”

Kitty had only one ambition in life.

“I just want to be happy,” she said. It was enough.

Georgie looked into those dark brown eyes and saw something there that was deeply humbling; there was loneliness and pain, of a kind that even their close friendship had not altogether erased. She knew her friend’s background, and understood better than anyone why Kitty wanted nothing but to be happy.

“If anyone deserves to be happy, it’s you,” she said, and meant every word.

Feeling herself being dragged back into frightening memories, Kitty put on her brightest voice.

“I had two letters today.”

Georgie made a face.

“It’s all right for some.” Tugging at Kitty’s arm, she asked, “Come on then … who are they from? What do they say?”

Digging into her pocket, Kitty withdrew the letters.

“You can read them if you like,” she said, handing them over.

“I don’t mind.”

Georgie groaned.

“How can you ask me to exert myself,

gal? I’ve been working behind that bloody machine all day. My legs ache, my arms feel like lead weights and besides,” she grinned sheepishly, ‘you know I’m not all that good at reading.”

“Okay, I’ll tell you what they say.” Kitty knew every word off by heart. She proceeded to return the letters to her pocket.

“No.” Georgie tugged at her arm again.

“Don’t tell me, gal.” Leaning back in the chair, she made herself comfortable and closed her eyes.

“Go on then. Read the buggers to me.”

Kitty opened the first one. It was from her Aunt Mildred. In a low voice she read the whole letter out:

Dear Kitty, I’m sorry I haven’t written in a while, but I know you will understand when I tell you how ill I’ve been. All week I was laid up with the most awful flu, and I’m still full of a cough so I’m afraid I won’t be able to visit as promised.

Anyway, I thought I should write and tell you that everything is fine.

As I explained in my last letter, most of the proceeds from the sale of your father’s house and business are safely put away. Of course there have been some expenses, and as trustee I have had to use some of the money to get the best possible financial advice. These things are never cheap. But you mustn ‘t worry, I’m looking after your interests.

Miss Davis has kept me informed of the situation concerning your fostering. I am also told that you seem reluctant to go. I must say I

think you’re being ungrateful. The family sound just the right sort of people to help you get back into society. You know I would love to have you with me.

Unfortunately, it isn’t possible and never will be.

I’ll have to end here. I feel quite ill. I have no idea whether I’ll be able to see you before you’re fostered out, and I certainly won’t see you afterwards. But I’ll be thinking of you.

From your Aunt Mildred

“Old cow!” Georgie sat up, her eyes glittering angrily.

“Why don’t you write back and tell her you don’t care if she’s ill? Tell her you don’t bloody well care if she drops dead as long as she leaves your money behind… what’s left of it, that is.”

“Do you really think she’s stealing my father’s money?” Kitty herself had long suspected that might be the case.

“Stealing your money… not your father’s any more, is it? And all that claptrap about wanting to have you with her but it not being possible… she’s lying through her teeth. The bugger never did want you.” Suddenly aware that she was hurting Kitty, she apologised.

“Sorry, gal. My tongue will hang me one of these days.”

Kitty was under no illusions where her aunt was concerned.

“It’s all right,” she murmured.

“Everything you say is true. She’s been promising to see me ever since I’ve been in here, but in almost two years I’ve had only three letters from her. She’s never set foot inside this place … not once. Even when I was brought before the assessment board she sent a message saying she was too ill to attend.”

For too long now Kitty had turned a blind eye. Now,

though, she took a moment to let the truth sink in.

“She could have had me with her from the start. She made excuses then and she’s been making excuses ever since. At first it hurt like mad. Now it doesn’t hurt so much. If she doesn’t want me, there’s no use pining over it, is there?”

Stretching out her arms, Georgie entreated, “Come here, gal.”

Kitty fell into her embrace. She didn’t speak. Mildred’s letter was stark in her mind and she was too full for words.

Georgie spoke, though, and what she said lightened Kitty’s heart.

“Who cares if the old bugger don’t want you, eh?” she declared. ‘
do, so you stick with me, gal and to hell with everybody else! “<
p>

“Georgie?”

“What?”

“Do you think I’m being ungrateful, not wanting to go to the Connor family?” Easing herself out of Georgie’s embrace, she looked her straight in the eye.

“Tell me the truth.”

“Well, if you really want the truth, I’d say you’ll be sent anyway, so you might as well give it a damn good try.”

“What if I don’t like it?”