Living a Lie (31 page)

Susan watched him come to bed, naked and magnificent. Harry never slept with clothes on. She liked that.

“What’s she like, this Kitty?”

Realising he must be on his guard, he took a deep breath to calm himself.

“She’s had a hard life,” he said.

“Her parents died within a short time of each other. After that she was put in a children’s home and offered out for fostering.”

There was something about his manner, something about the way he slid into bed and quickly turned out the light, that made her feel uneasy.

“Poor little sod!” she exclaimed, slithering close beside him.

“But what I meant was… what is she like? You know… is she pretty?

Quick-tempered? Is she friendly? What does she do for a living? “

Roving her hand over the hardness of his stomach, she purred in his ear, “Does Kitty Marsh have a boyfriend?”

His heart died inside him, her words echoing against his brain, driving him mad.

“Does Kitty Marsh have a boyfriend?” Her Aunt Mildred had said something to that effect. “Kitty has a strong admirer in the boss of her firm,” she had told him.

“Jack Harpur would marry her tomorrow if she said yes. I think it’s only a matter of time before they tie the knot.” Only a matter of time before they tie the knot! He wanted to scream, to strangle someone with his bare hands.

“Love me, Harry,” Susan’s soft persuasive voice whispered in his ear.

She was touching him, stroking him. He felt himself growing hard. Hard with anger. Hard with desire. Suddenly he was on her and she was writhing beneath him, groaning with ecstasy as he pushed into her, again and again, driven by an insatiable need, a need no other woman but Kitty could fill.

“You look younger every day!” Kitty regarded her aunt’s slim figure and sparkling eyes, and was glad that at last Mildred seemed to have completely shaken off her depression.

“Come on, what’s the secret?”

she asked mischievously.

For the briefest moment Mildred looked worried, then she smiled and put on her coat.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about,” she lied.

“There is something,” Kitty insisted.

“Since Christmas I’ve seen a real change in you.” The two of them were standing in the hall, Mildred looking in the mirror while she tied her silk scarf round her neck, and Kitty watching her every move.

“If I didn’t know better I’d say you were in love,” she teased. In the back of her mind she was certain her aunt had a man hidden away, though she couldn’t understand why it should be kept a secret.

These past few days Kitty herself had been living a lie. The prospect of seeing Harry in just a short time was too exciting. The knowledge that he was married overwhelming. She hadn’t been able to sleep, had gone right off her food, and her work was suffering because she couldn’t get him out of her mind. More than once Jack had commented that she seemed to be ‘miles away’.

“What do you mean?” Mildred queried.

“What makes you think I’m in love?” As she turned, her expression was incredulous.

“A woman of my age?” She arranged the scarf neatly about her neck and put on her gloves, the faintest blush tinting her cheekbones.

Reaching up to take her long coat from the peg, Kitty wisely made no remark. Instead she put it on, threw her long woollen scarf round her neck and slid on her black leather gloves, “Hmh!” she muttered as they went out of the door.

“Love doesn’t have any respect for age. Sixteen or sixty, makes no difference.” Closing the door behind her, she shivered.

“Will this rain never stop?” It had been pouring all night, and now it was softly drizzling, the sky was grey and heavy with clouds and there was a damp chill in the air.

“A fine day for a party!” Kitty remarked as she strode briskly down the street.

“Wouldn’t surprise me if no one came.”

“Oh, they’ll come; Mildred declared.

“They’d better! We’ve prepared enough food to feed an army.”

Kitty’s mood darkened.

“I wish I hadn’t agreed to this party,” she admitted.

“I don’t know any of your work mates Georgie won’t be there, and neither will Miss Davis.”

“It’s a pity she couldn’t come.” Mildred made no mention of Georgie.

“Still, if her sister’s ill, you couldn’t really expect her to accept the invitation.” Glancing at Kitty, she wondered why there was such sadness in her face.

“It’s your eighteenth birthday, Kitty. It wouldn’t be right not to celebrate it.”

She paused to look in Richard’s shop window; there was a stylish blue dress in the display.

“I suppose not,” she murmured.

“All the same, I wish I hadn’t agreed to it now.”

Mildred found herself looking at the dress too, although it was too young for her, too pretty and daring.

“Honestly, Kitty, I don’t understand you. Most young women love parties. I know you would have liked Georgie to come, but to tell you the truth, I’m not surprised she didn’t answer your last letter. In fact it wouldn’t surprise me if she wasn’t back in prison somewhere!”

Strolling on towards the main shopping arcade, Kitty had to admit, “It wouldn’t surprise me either. That fella of hers is bad news… always was.” Even with Mildred around, and Jack forever standing at her shoulder, there were times when Kitty felt so alone it was like a physical pain in her heart.

“I wouldn’t have minded if Georgie didn’t want to come to the party, but I wish she’d replied to my letter. I worry when I don’t hear from her.” She couldn’t help feeling her friend was in some kind of trouble. Until she knew for certain, she wouldn’t be able to rest.

“You’re surely not thinking of going all the way to Liverpool after her?”

“If I have to. But I’ll write again and give her a chance to answer before I make my mind up.” The last letter she’d had from Georgie was too bright, too cheerful, and too full of nothing that mattered.

“It’s funny she never mentioned why she and Mac moved from Weymouth.”

“I thought you and Jack had plans for next weekend?”

“Jack had plans,” Kitty corrected.

“He wants me to spend a weekend in London with him, go to a show, see the sights, that kind of thing. A ” birthday treat” he says.”

“Very nice too.”

“I haven’t agreed yet.”

Slowing her steps, Mildred linked her arm through Kitty’s.

“You’ve been on edge this last week,” she remarked softly.

“Is it because of Jack? Is he bullying you again?” She sighed.

“I don’t know why you don’t just say yes and put the poor bugger out of his misery.”

“He doesn’t give me time to think, that’s why. Everywhere I turn he’s there. He’s keeping to his promise not to ask me to marry him, but he might as well ask, because it’s in his eyes every time he looks at me.” She gave a little laugh.

“I’m beginning to think he wants to drive me crazy, or wear me out so I won’t have the strength to argue when he carries me down the aisle.”

“Oh? So you’re expecting him to carry you down the aisle?” Mildred could hardly hide her relief.

Sensing anxiety in her aunt’s comment, Kitty answered, “There you go again, trying to marry me off. Jack’s got you on his side, has he?”

Mildred realised her mistake.

“Sorry.” Squeezing Kitty’s arm by way of apology, she admitted, “I shouldn’t poke my nose in.”

“No, you shouldn’t,” Kitty gently chided.

“I’ve got enough problems at the minute without you trying to organise my life as well. I need you on my side, not on Jack’s.” Reaching into her coat pocket, she took out the shopping list and quickly ran her eyes down it.

“We need another four bottles of plonk, some nibbles, and at least two packets of paper napkins.” Pointing to Woolworth’s, she suggested, “We can get the napkins there.”

“And the nibbles from Marks and Spencers,” Mildred declared, turning right towards the stores.

“As for the plonk, we’ll have to shop around. Oh, and we mustn’t forget the cake. I want to have a look at it before they deliver.”

As they rushed round the shops, buying this and that and spending more than they had planned. Kitty was glad the talk of Jack and marriage had been put on hold. She knew it would raise its ugly head again. But for now at least, she was safe. A little voice in the back of her mind kept saying, “Harry’s out of your reach now. He’s got a wife, so why shouldn’t you marry Jack? Be safe, be mollycoddled. Make him happy at least, because there’s no use dreaming any more.”

It was a funny thing though. Dreams have a life of then-own, and when you have cherished them for as long as Kitty had, they will not die easily.

It was almost midday when the two of them ran from a sudden downpour, into the nearest cafe. Two milky coffees and a cheese sandwich,” Kitty told the woman behind the counter; a busy homely body, with sharp blue eyes and spectacles perched on the end of her little nose.

“Is that a cheese sandwich for one or a cheese sandwich for two?” she asked with a grin.

Turning to Mildred who was arranging their many shopping bags on the floor beside then” table, Kitty asked, ” Are you sure you want nothing to eat? “

Mildred nodded. Taking off her coat, she gently shook the rain from it, then sat down, more than once glancing at her watch, fidgeting and nervous, as though she might be late for an appointment.

Bringing the tray, Kitty set the drinks and plate on to the table before sliding the tray into the slot beneath.

“Is there something we’ve forgotten?” she asked, her brows knitted in a frown as she took off her own coat and almost fell into her seat.

“I saw you looking at your watch just now. You seemed anxious, as though you were in a hurry to get away.” Mildred had been like that a lot lately. Sometimes in the evening she would pace the floor, like a wild cat in a cage waiting to get out.

Taking a grateful sip of her coffee, Mildred waited a moment before revealing in a soft, almost childish voice, “Well… there is something I’d quite like to do before I go back to the house. You don’t have to come with me though. I’ll be fine.” A rising blush suffused her face.

“You don’t mind do you, Kitty?” Knowing what she planned to do made it difficult for her to look her niece in the eye.

Kitty was puzzled.

“Of course I don’t mind,” she said with an encouraging smile.

“Go ahead and do what you’ve got to do. Anyway, there’s more than enough to keep me busy until you get home.”

“That’s just it. I don’t want you getting everything ready on your own. It doesn’t seem right.”

Kitty sighed impatiently.

“Whose party is it anyway? Look, you’ve done more than your fair share already, and besides it’ll do me good to get stuck in.” She giggled.

“It might even take my mind off Jack and his puppy-dog eyes.”

“You’re sure?” Mildred was still anxious.

“I won’t be gone long, I promise.”

“You be gone as long as you want.” There were times when Kitty felt like the adult and Mildred acted like an eighteen year old.

“Honestly!

Anyone would think you have to answer to me for your every move. “

They finished and went their separate ways.

“Tell them to be careful with the cake,” Mildred pleaded before she rushed off.

“Tell them it’s to go on the dresser. It’ll be safer there until we arrange the buffet table.”

“Stop worrying, I’ll see to it,” Kitty promised. A twinkle came into her eyes as she ordered with a smile, “You’d best get going. After all, you don’t want to keep him waiting.”

An expression of horror crossed Mildred’s face, then guilt, then a quizzical look and a smile that said, “You don’t know. You can’t know.” Then she was gone, leaving Kitty with handfuls of shopping bags and an intriguing little mystery.

“What if you have got a fellow?” she muttered as she made her way home.

“Good luck to you, that’s what I say. You don’t need to concern yourself about what I think. After all, what does it matter?”

But it did matter. Before the night was over, Kitty would discover how Mildred’s plans were about to alter all their lives.

Emptying the bags on to the kitchen table, Kitty left them where they fell.

“Tea first,” she sighed.

“A minute to get my breath, then we’ll see.” She took off her wet things, went upstairs and rubbed her damp hair with a towel before combing it; she rinsed her face, took off her stockings, put on her flat ties and returned downstairs to the kitchen.

Here she made herself a mug of tea and took it into the lounge where she sat with her feet up for a while.

“That’s wonderful!” she sighed.

Kicking off her shoes, she wriggled her toes. It had been a hectic shopping spree. It was good to be home, in front of a cheery fire.

Leaning back in her chair, she relaxed, enjoying the quiet moment of her own company.

“Oh, Jack! Jack! Why can’t you take no for an answer?” she sighed.

“It’s not that I don’t like you, because I do.

But if you keep on following me round like a lovesick calf, you’ll only force me to look elsewhere for a job. ” She had to laugh though, and did. Then and sex!” she muttered.

“You can’t separate one from the other.”

Taking another sip of her tea, she let her thoughts raise everything that had happened in her life. It wasn’t often she allowed that to happen. These days she had learned to shut her memories out. It was less painful that way. Today, however, she had a feeling that things were about to come to a head. There were things going on that she couldn’t quite fathom. Irritating, disturbing things, little things that played on her mind and frayed her nerves:

Mildred and her little secret; Georgie moving from Weymouth to Liverpool, saying less than nothing in the one or two letters from there, and then not answering Kitty’s letters at all.

The feeling of unease was so strong that she was forced to get up from the chair and walk about the room, cup in hand, head down, a sensation in her heart as if a lump of lead had just been planted there.

Her sense of peace dissipated, she put her cup on the mantelpiece and, leaning forward on her hands, she stared into the burning coals. The heat from the fire warmed her face, making her sleepy. She hadn’t slept last night, nor the night before. She hadn’t slept in many a long night. She wondered if she would ever have a good night’s sleep again. She doubted it.