Lights and Shadows (Oregon In Love) (21 page)

I’ve learned the hard way I can’t make someone
love me
.

***

The following Monday, Julia approached Spencer’s
office, amazed that she’d survived the weekend. Inside, her
churning emotions remained raw and bitter, but she’d been able to
maintain a cool façade and no one at the college seemed the wiser.
She never saw Marc and could only be relieved. Even though she knew
she wouldn’t collapse at the sight of him, Julia wanted to put off
that first eye contact for as long as possible.

She and Spencer had decided this week she would start
sitting in on classes. Glancing at the class list, she found he’d
scheduled her to be in Marc’s class on Wednesday afternoon.
That
will give me a chance to prepare myself
.

Julia knocked lightly on Spencer's door frame and he
waved her in from where he sat at his desk. His welcoming smile eased
a measure of the clinging sadness.

“
I see you have the class list.”

She nodded, suddenly wondering if her observation of
Marc’s class would bring in any conflict of interest. “Spencer,”
she said lowering her voice, “professional integrity requires that
I inform you of a personal relationship I’ve had with one of the
instructors on this list.”

He leaned back in his chair and tapped a pen against his
chin. “Are you talking about Marcos Dorin, the photography
instructor?”

Not trusting herself to speak, Julia nodded.

“
I knew you two were together at the book party where
we met.”

Julia felt her face heat under his scrutiny. She sensed
him trying to discern just how far that personal relationship had
gone and if it was still an issue.

He leaned forward. “I trust you’ll maintain the
objective judgment you’ve exhibited thus far. I see no problems,
Julia.”

Silently releasing a pent-up breath, she gave him a
tentative smile. “Thank you. I appreciate your confidence.”

They spent the next hour together preparing for a
meeting with the college board of directors to present a report of
their progress. So far, the directors seemed pleased with the quality
of her work but she doubted they’d be pleased with some of her
findings.

“
My summary is that low enrollment is due in part to
marketing techniques and administrative inefficiencies along with
other factors such as out-dated curriculum, difficulties bringing the
college up to the latest standards of computerization, and the
ever-strapped district budgets.”

Spencer nodded. “I’ve come to the same conclusions
myself.”

“
I hope to encourage the board to develop a sharply
competitive attitude similar to that of a privately owned business.
Instead of trying to be all things to all people, I’ll recommend
they develop a special niche in the market, offering an experience
just different enough to make it stand out from other area colleges.
Despite their satellite schools, they need to generate more public
interest and become more involved in the community.”

Spencer grinned. “Most of which
I’ve
been
saying all along, but the board needs to pay someone big bucks to
tell them the same thing.” He sighed and leaned back in his chair.
“But it
will
sound a lot sweeter coming from you.”

Julia tossed her pen at him, returning his smile. “I
didn’t know you were a sexist, Mr. Meyers.”

He cleared his throat and assumed a grave expression.
“Forgive me, Ms. Wilcox. You were saying?”

She arched her brow. “In conclusion, the
administration has been mired in red tape, red ink, and generally
resistant to change or improvement. It’s my job to convince them to
go in a new direction based on the best interest of the college. The
school has the potential to compete competitively and become a
stalwart for higher education.”

Spencer clapped. “That’ll fetch ‘em.”

“
And then there’s the discrepancies that keep
popping up. Generalizations will only work for so long. I’ll need
specifics to back this up.”

At the meeting later in the day, Julia had to call on
every communication skill she knew of to relieve tensions and
maintain a continuity of understanding with the board members—who
had grown more impatient by the day. When she felt herself become
flustered, her eyes sought out Spencer’s and his warm look of
encouragement gave her the strength to soothe escalating tempers.

Afterwards, outside the conference room, Spencer gave
Julia a quick squeeze around her shoulders, complimenting her on her
skill and diplomacy.

She gave him a rueful smile. “I’m afraid that won’t
be enough if we can’t track down some hard numbers and bring this
to a close. I’ve promised to have things wrapped up by Christmas.”

The holidays were just a few weeks away and she still
needed time to be available for the implementation and evaluation
phases, followed by the official termination of the project. That,
combined with her inner emotional turmoil, made her wonder if she’d
be gray-haired by the end of it all.

He nodded. “Between you and me, we’ll get to the
bottom of it. I promise.”

Julia smiled up at him. “Your hard work and extra
effort has been the key to making this assignment run as smoothly as
it has. If you’re not careful, my boss will hear of you and steal
you away to come work at my firm in San Diego.”

Spencer regarded her, his expression hooded. “To keep
up the momentum, I suggest we work here tonight. Any objections?”

She shook her head. “Tonight’s just fine.”

Chapter Twenty-Two

Marc stood by his classroom window and stared moodily
out at the parking lot below. He found himself doing that a lot
lately. As much as he’d like to believe otherwise, he did it hoping
to catch a glimpse of Julia coming or going.

His heart jumped in his chest when he suddenly saw her
Camry pull in and park. Marc glanced at his watch. It was just after
one and he wondered if she was returning from lunch with her project
partner. When she emerged from the car alone, his conscience gave him
a jab for the jealous thought.

She wore a pastel jacket with a matching skirt. Despite
the fact it was a business outfit, he couldn’t help but notice the
way it clung to her petite curves. Her eyes were hidden by a pair of
stylish sunglasses. With a leather briefcase in her hand, she
strolled to the entrance of the building with her usual grace and
poise.

She doesn’t exactly appear to be suffering much
from the breakup.
I
can barely function
. His days moved at
a sluggish pace and his heart was no longer in his job. But he had
only himself to blame. Logically, he knew the relationship had to
end, but every fiber of his heart and soul regretted his decision.
Marc lingered at the window a moment longer before walking back to
his desk. The afternoon session would begin soon and he had to be
prepared.

Twenty minutes later, students filed noisily into his
classroom. Giving them a few moments to get settled, he quickly
reviewed his agenda for the day. When he raised his head to greet the
students, the words he planned to speak suddenly lodged in his
throat.

In the back of the room, sitting quietly at a desk, was
Julia. Her hands were folded atop a notebook open on the desk and she
sat with her legs crossed at the knee—a picture of studied ease and
nonchalance. Their gazes locked. Marc found her expression completely
impenetrable. He could remember when she’d hid nothing from him in
those tourmaline depths. He’d seen love there before she’d ever
spoken the words.

The restlessness of the students while they waited for
him to begin, brought him back to reality, severing his brief
connection with Julia. As he tried to collect his thoughts, it dawned
on him she was here to observe the class in the role of professional
consultant.

No doubt I’ve done a dandy job of impressing her so
far
. When he finally managed to overcome his tongue-tied state,
he began his class, but it took an exhausting amount of self-control
to keep his eyes averted from Julia.

Fifteen minutes before the session ended, she slipped
silently from the room. The chill that pervaded his heart at her
absence made those last fifteen minutes the most trying of all.

***

Julia made her way to Spencer’s office on unsteady
legs and knocked on his door. When no one answered, she went inside,
immediately sinking onto the leather couch near his desk. She
desperately needed a private place to catch her breath and give her
racing heart a moment to recover.

When Marc’s eyes had met hers in the classroom, she
felt as if she sustained a harsh blow to her midsection. Only her
iron will kept her from visibly reacting to his presence. Julia
wrapped her arms around herself, wondering how she’d ever get
through this assignment being in the same building with him.

The door opened and Spencer entered. His eyes lit up.
“How long have you been waiting for me?”

Julia looked away, not entirely trusting her composure
at the moment. “Actually, I came to take a break from the fray.”

“
I don’t blame you. Your little cubicle isn’t
terribly private. Feel free to hide out here anytime.”

“
Thank you. And, um, I also have some preliminary
observation information for you.”

Spencer took his seat behind the desk while Julia opened
her briefcase.

Work didn’t stop for heartbreak.

***

Marc closed his eyes and pushed his hair back. His
classroom was empty, the school day over. It was a good thing, too.
After coming face to face with Julia, he didn’t know if he'd be
able to get through another class.

Moving slowly, he gathered his things together, absently
piling them into his briefcase. When he left the classroom, the halls
were nearly deserted. That was fine with him. He had no desire to be
corralled into chatting with any fellow instructors. Rounding a
corner on his way past the administration offices, a door suddenly
opened in front of him. Julia and her partner walked out into the
hall. They had eyes only for each other and were laughing at some
private joke. Or so it seemed.

Marc stopped to let them pass, choking on his misery.
Julia saw him then and her smile evaporated.

“
Excuse me,” she murmured.

She and the man walked around him, resuming their
conversation in low tones. Marc stood like a statue, staring hard
after them, all the angst within him boiling to the fore.

Suddenly, he felt someone tap him on the shoulder. He
whirled around. To his consternation, he found Belinda Carruthers
regarding him with smug amusement. Her keen interest flicked to
Julia’s retreating figure and then back to him. She arched a brow
in comprehension. Marc turned back to the direction Julia had taken,
his eyes hungrily following her until she disappeared around the
corner.

“
So that’s how it is,” Belinda said. “Very
interesting.”

He swung back to her, surprised to find her still there.
Then he remembered their past encounter and felt himself blush. Why
had he ever given a second look at the female population? They were
trouble. Every last one of them. Julia was a heart-breaker and
Belinda was...her evil twin. “Did you want something?” he
snapped.

Belinda linked her arm with his and took a step forward.
“A word of romantic advice, Mr. Dorin.”

Before she got any farther, Marc peeled her hand from
his arm, not bothering to hide the distaste in his eyes.

She shrugged. “That’s the problem with you. You’re
a stuffed shirt. Everything is about rules and control. I remember
your class.
Boring
.”

Marc ignored her and resumed walking toward the exit.
Belinda hurried to keep up with his long strides, speaking in a rush.

“
If you want any success with a woman, you’ll have
to do more than wander around the halls mooning over her. I’ll be
glad to help you out. I’ve got my boyfriend wrapped around my
little finger, but it took effort. And you helped with that,
remember? So I owe you one. I know you’ll probably pooh-pooh the
idea, but I’ve helped lots of my friends—”

Marc came to a halt and faced her. “Leave me
alone!
”

Belinda’s mouth opened in surprise before changing
into a mischievous smile. She gave him a once-over glance. “Do I
sense some Italian hot-headedness here? Perhaps there’s hope for
you after all.”

Marc wondered if he was going mad. Mumbling an apology,
he strode toward the doors as Belinda’s mocking laughter echoed
down the hall after him.

Once in his truck, he rested his head on the steering
wheel, struggling to rein in his emotions.
Julia is obviously
getting along fine without me. I was arrogant to assume she’s
suffered as I have.

Marc started the engine and rebuked himself for his
foolish thoughts. He’d brought this wretchedness down on his own
head. He was the one who sent her away, apparently into the arms of a
willing suitor. Maybe in a twisted way Belinda was right about him.
Regardless of his lily-white motives,
he
was the one who’d
rejected Julia.