Lights and Shadows (Oregon In Love) (19 page)

“
It’s perfect,” she said, making a mental note to
skip lunch.

Brian helped Alan clap while Sara cut the pieces and
served them on pretty plates.

“
This is excellent,” she praised, taking dainty
bites. Before she finished, Sara brought over three gifts and set
them on the table in front of Julia.

“
You know this was unnecessary.” Julia picked up the
first box and carefully slipped her finger under a taped fold.

“
This could take a while,” said Brian. “Remember,
Julia’s the one who saves wrapping paper for who knows what.”

Undaunted, she painstakingly removed the pretty flowered
paper from the box. Opening it up and pulling out a vanilla scented
pillar candle, she inhaled. “This is my favorite scent!”

With equal care, she opened the second box and pulled
out a framed portrait of her little nephew. “Oh, thank you! It’s
darling!” Julia gave Alan a noisy kiss and said, “I’m going to
keep this picture on my desk at work.”

“
Appropriate, since you’re there so much,” Brain
said bluntly.

Sara gave her husband a quelling look. She turned back
to Julia. “The third gift is from Marc. He dropped it off early
this morning.”

Accepting the beautifully wrapped package, she caught
Sara’s knowing grin.

“
My wife wants you to open it up in front of her.
She’s dying to know what’s inside.”

“
Brian!” Sara exclaimed, giving him a playful punch
in the arm.

Julia struggled to keep her manner nonchalant, while her
heart thundered in her chest. He didn’t say a word about her
birthday last night. When she opened the box, she caught her breath.
Julia lifted out the silver bracelet studded with the pink and green
tourmaline stones she’d seen at the Saturday Market. With flaming
cheeks, she slipped it onto her wrist and held it up. “It’s
lovely, isn’t it?” she asked, amazed her voice remained steady.

“
Wow,” said Sara. “It sure is.”

“
Well, this was all very sweet of you, but I do need
to scoot.” Julia pushed her chair back from the table and stood.

“
Do you have to work on Saturday?” asked Sara, her
eyes wide.

“
The more I work, the sooner I’m done.”

“
Until the next job,” Brian said. “If this is you
on vacation, I’d hate to see what you’re like when you really
work.”

Julia returned his steady look, refusing to be drawn
into an argument, then dropped a light kiss on his cheek. She hugged
Sara, thanking her profusely, and gave Alan a smooch as well.

On her way to the college later that morning, Julia
wondered why Marc didn’t include a card with his gift.

***

The following weeks left Julia more exhausted than ever.
She didn’t know if it was physical, mental, or emotional.
Physically, she felt rotten and only sheer resolve kept her going.
She was more confused about her mental and emotional state. Since
receiving the bracelet from Marc, she found herself becoming more
sentimental. She wore the bracelet daily and often caught herself
staring at it or twisting it around her wrist, admiring the way the
light lit up the stones. It reminded her of that day together.

It also reminded her she was becoming more estranged
from him as the job wore on. Instead of attending church with him as
was her intention, she ended up more often than not sleeping straight
through Sundays. And while she didn’t make it to church as often as
she’d like, she’d been praying more than ever—prayer for a way
to work things out with Marc—for the energy to continue a job
beginning to crop up with more and more problems.

She and Spencer kept stumbling onto figures not
compatible with their research. Finding out that the college records
had indeed been audited just a year before didn’t seem to clear up
the discrepancies. They spent a lot of time backtracking and
double-checking, only to become more muddled than ever. Time they
should’ve been spending on the other aspects of her report such as
marketing and personnel issues.

Having to stall for time as they attempted to make sense
of their findings made the pressure intensify to produce results.
Spencer was wonderful, shouldering as much of the burden as possible
and taking any heat that came their way. But she knew it was her
responsibility to come up with a plausible explanation. Soon. And at
this rate, her relationship was doomed to fail. What concerned her
even more was the worry that day was nearer than she supposed.

Chapter Twenty

“
Go home, Julia.”

She looked up from her computer, flanked by stacks of
paperwork and focused on Spencer’s fatigued countenance softened by
a smile. She knew her own countenance mirrored his.

“
That’s an order.”

Too tired to argue, Julia turned off her computer. “But
only if you go home early, too.”

Spencer glanced at his watch. “If everything works
out, I should be out of here by five. But
you
have to leave
now or I’ll call the security guards and have you forcibly
removed.”

Julia quirked her lips at his mock seriousness. “I’m
going, I’m going!”

She loaded up her briefcase, straightened the two
pictures on her desk and gave him a grateful smile before heading to
the nearest exit. As Julia drove away from the college, she knew she
wouldn’t immediately be going back to Buell Creek. Marc was first
and foremost on her mind.

She then realized he wouldn’t be home for two more
hours. An idea began to take root in her mind, causing her fatigue to
melt away like magic. Before going to his apartment, she stopped at
the local galleria shopping center. An hour later, Julia emerged with
several shopping bags and drove to Marc’s building. After parking
around the block, out of sight, she sought out the landlady. It took
some persuading before the woman capitulated into allowing a stranger
into one of her tenant’s apartments without prior approval. But
after peppering her plea with a romantic flavor, Julia was finally
allowed in.

Inside his apartment, the blinds were all closed and
Julia groped in the darkness for a light switch. When the lights came
on, she looked around and noticed Marc had become somewhat lax in his
housekeeping habits. His plants drooped, in need of water, books and
magazines were scattered haphazardly about, and in the kitchen she
found his trashcan full of take-out containers from nearby
restaurants. Unable to resist the urge to clean, she started in while
making a few requisite phone calls.

The blood in her veins bubbled like champagne in
anticipation of a long evening spent with Marc. After locating a
gourmet restaurant that delivered, she put in an order for dinner.
Next, she called a florist to have flowers sent over, all the while
keeping an eye on the clock.

After a quick tidying job, Julia went into the bathroom
with her shopping bags. She changed out of her work clothes and slid
a cranberry rayon slip dress over her head. She adjusted the narrow
straps at the shoulders and brushed out her hair, arranging it in a
simple style. From another shopping bag, she retrieved a box from
which she drew out a delicate garnet necklace in a silver filigree
setting. Julia placed it around her neck and touched up her makeup
just as the doorbell rang.

When she opened the door, delivery people from both the
restaurant and florist arrived at the same time and she waved them
into the apartment. Once the accounts were settled and they had left,
Julia looked through Marc’s music selection. She smiled when she
found a CD of opera arias among the other titles. Julia chose a
selection of romantic instrumentals and loaded the CD player.

With soft music filling the room, she arranged the
dinner on the small table in his kitchen and lowered the lights. She
just finished lighting some candles when she heard Marc’s key in
the lock. She hurried into the front room, clasped her hands together
and waited for him to come in the door.

***

Marc nudged the front door open with his foot and
hoisted his camera bags inside, letting them settle to the floor in a
heap. When he looked up, his heart did a somersault in his chest. The
candlelight and music were peripheral to the woman who stood before
him.

He stood rooted to the spot for the space of several
heartbeats, unsure of what to do or say next.
Why is she here? Why
is she doing this to me?
Hadn’t he only just decided they
needed to have a serious talk? Was this God’s idea of an
opportunity?

“
Julia,” he finally said. When he saw the
uncertainty in her green eyes, he crossed the room and took her hand
in his. Noticing she wore the bracelet he’d given her for her
birthday gave him an inordinate amount of pleasure. Marc lightly
touched the curve of her throat. The warmth of her skin and rapid
pulse under his fingers were his undoing. Nothing could have stopped
him from lowering his head and touching his lips against hers.

Julia groaned against his mouth and wound her arms
around his neck. He held her tight, returning her fervent kisses,
consumed with his love for her. With great reluctance, he raised his
head some time later and looked down at the object of his dilemma.

“
Looks like you’ve been busy. I’m surprised my
landlady let you in. I can hardly get in if I lose
my
key.”

“
I wanted to surprise you,” she said softly.

“
You were successful.”

She slid her hands down to rest against his chest.
“Dinner’s ready, if you’re hungry.”

“
I am.”

After a leisurely dinner, they sat together on the
couch, making up for weeks of mutual deprivation. Marc couldn’t
think straight anymore, not when his head and heart were at complete
odds within him. Julia, so pliant in his arms, so soft and sweet—how
could he humanly resist her?

He told her about his latest photo shoot at the Metolius
River along the Warm Springs Indian Reservation. Julia rested her
head on his chest and closed her eyes, making an occasional noise to
let him know she was listening. Soon, she felt silent. Her breathing
slowed and became even. Marc smiled when he realized she’d fallen
asleep.

He took the opportunity to study her unhindered. The low
lighting enhanced the shadows under her eyes and deepening hollows
under her cheekbones. The knowledge she pushed herself too hard made
him want to protect her from the rigors that caused her weariness.
If
there was any way I could, I would. But would she let me?
He
breathed deeply of her honeyed scent.
How could I have fallen in
love with the woman who I have no hope of a future with? This isn’t
the way it's supposed to happen!

He wracked his brain for solutions to their problem but
came no closer to any answers.
We’re from two different
lifestyles and they might as well be oil and water
. Marc closed
his eyes, misery leaching into his veins, making him feel sick.
I
don’t want to live without her, but I don’t see how we can make a
life together.

It’s hopeless.

Marc ran his hand lightly through her hair, allowing
tendrils to slip through his fingers. The movement caused Julia to
stir.

She blinked slowly and looked up at him, her eyes
glowing with warmth as she regarded him. She reached up and let her
fingers trail down the side of his face. Her voice was husky with
sleep when she said, “I love you, Marc.”

He stared at her, his emotions swinging from euphoria to
despair in the space of a second as a thousand thoughts crowded into
his brain—all unintelligible. “Julia,” he croaked. “We need
to talk.”

The sleepiness cleared from her eyes at the tone of his
voice. Marc had to avert his gaze from the confusion mixed with
dawning hurt he saw in her expression. She struggled to a sitting
position while he tried to find the right words.

“
Julia, please—” When she got to her feet, he
reached out and caught her hand, holding it firmly when she tried to
pull away. He took a deep breath, feeling he couldn’t sidestep the
issue any longer. “I’m sorry, but I just don't see how this can
work.”

The words dropped like stones in the quiet of the room.
Her eyes widened.

“
I've looked at this from every angle I can think of.
I know you see it, too. We're fooling ourselves to think we have a
future together.”

“
Let go of me,” she said in a strangled voice.

Marc released her and watched helplessly while she began
grabbing her things. The way her hands shook and the moisture in her
eyes tore at his heart. But what else could he do? He got to his
feet. “We both knew this would happen, Julia. It was inevitable.”

She stopped and looked at him. “Oh, really?”

“
Your priorities don’t include me.” Marc hated the
flat tone of his voice, hated the words themselves, but they’d
eaten at him like poison for so long.

Color flooded into Julia’s cheeks. “Is that what
this is about? You’re threatened by my
job?
”

“
There are twenty-four hours in a day and I get to see
you maybe two hours a
week
. It's not just this job. It's the
next one, and the one after. All more important than the last, all
more demanding. How long can our relationship take a back seat?”