Leaving Eva (The Eva Series Book 1) (10 page)

ROSE COULDN’T
FIND
HER KEYS.

She lost her keys all of the time lately. She was never someone who lost things. Instead, she knew where she kept everything. But lately she couldn’t seem to keep track of anything. Her reading glasses were constantly missing, her keys, her purse, her checkbook. She couldn’t find anything, and it was so frustrating.

Shortly after Thomas died, she realized that she started forgetting little things. She started forgetting items that she was shopping for at the store. Then she started forgetting doctor’s appointments, and when to pay her bills. She found that if she didn’t write it down, she couldn’t remember anything.

It was becoming more and more frustrating for Brynn, although she just thought it was more carelessness than anything else. Brynn had finally gotten the cleaning lady into Rose’s apartment, and told herself that she would need to check in on Rose and the apartment more often.

“Brynn, my lights won’t work,” Rose called her from her cell phone, sitting in the living room in the dark.

“Mom, did you forget to pay your electric bill again?” Brynn sighed.

“I don’t remember.”

“I’ll call the electric company, Mother.”

“Brynn, I don’t have water coming out of the faucet,” Rose called a month later.

“Mom, did you pay the water bill?” Brynn sighed.

“I don’t remember.”

“I’ll call.” It was a regular thing for Brynn to call a utility company until she was forced to take over Rose’s finances.

Now it was daily that Rose lost her keys, or forgot to put on shoes, and she was even starting to forget the names of people she had always known.

Then Rose forgot Brynn’s birthday. She never forgot Brynn’s birthday. When Brynn didn’t receive a call from her at six in the morning with her singing both verses of “Happy Birthday”, she knew something was very wrong. Brynn thought it was strange, but Rose refused to let her go to the doctor with her. Rose knew what he was going to say which was why she put off going for so long.

The doctor told Rose that Alzheimer’s was difficult to diagnose, but that was the direction he was leaning based on her history. He said that they would perform tests, and continue to track her condition. Clara, Rose’s Momma died from Alzheimer’s, although they called it dementia at the time. When the final diagnosis came in, early onset Alzheimer’s, Rose wasn’t surprised one bit. She asked the doctor how much time she had, and he responded soberly that he had no way of knowing.

“You seem to be in the second stage, Rose,” he said slowly. She had been his patient for years, and he found that if he talked slowly to her, she wouldn’t ask him to repeat it another three or four times. Rose liked to have all of the facts because she said Brynn would want to know. “It could be months, it could be years. But I do know that the smoking is bad for you, Rose. You have to stop. It will create other issues and expedite the Alzheimer’s.”

She scoffed stubbornly. “I’m not giving up smoking now, Doc. I just started, and this is one thing in my life I really like!”

“I would recommend that you start thinking about an Alzheimer’s facility where they can take care of you properly.” Her Doctor told her already knowing what her response would be.

“My Brynn will take care of me,” she said indignantly. Rose knew what her diagnosis meant. She knew that it meant that she would forget who she was, how to go to the bathroom, and walk. She would forget how to dress herself, how to eat and to swallow. But worst of all, she knew that she would inevitably forget her Brynn. Rose knew she would forget how she had protected and loved her. But in the meantime, Rose knew that Brynn would take care of her.

Rose also knew that it would not be a pretty or graceful exit. Clara refused to allow her to stay with her when she was dying. She was a prideful woman, and didn’t want anyone to watch her suffer while she was in her worst state. Father told her that Clara didn’t remember a soul when she died. Father died shortly after from a broken heart, so Rose had no one to talk to about Clara now.

Rose hadn’t thought of her mother for over a decade now. Now she wished that she had been able to ask Clara how it felt to lose her mind, forgetting every single thing or person that she had ever known and loved. But she knew that Clara never would have told her. Conversations between Rose and Clara always involved Clara talking ‘at’ Rose, and voicing how much of a disappointment that Rose was. Rose sadly knew that Clara wouldn’t have opened up to her about something so personal.

Rose didn’t want Brynn to know about the diagnosis. She didn’t want to be even more of a disappointment to her. Brynn would still be there for her, even though she had felt a strange distance from her recently. Rose thought that hiding this from Brynn could be something that she could do for her as a way of taking care of her. It would be one of two very important gifts that Rose could ever give to Brynn, even though she wouldn’t realize it right away.

Rose went out, and she bought ten packets of sticky notes, two packets of pens, and she started to leave herself notes for everything.

When Brynn asked how her doctor’s appointment went, she simply told her she just had low blood sugar.

“SHIT!” HE
WAS SCREAMING
AT HER
, his handsome face was distorted with anger and bright red. “Why does everything have to be such a fight with you, Brynn? Why can’t it just ever be about us? Why is it always about every other damned person in the world?”

Brynn was angry, too. Her big dark eyes were almost black, her eyebrows furrowed. Her mouth was pulled into a thin line. She dared not speak for fear that ugly words would come flying out. He never understood how much Rose needed her, and how tired she was. Her restaurant was a popular destination and busy, which she could not complain about. She had worked hard for six years and hired a great manager, Jane. Now the restaurant was on autopilot with the usual hiccups arising from time to time. But at least she had people she could trust, when she would let them. When she was there, she was lost to the rest of the world, including him. It was her sanctuary and the one place where she didn’t have to think too much about life.

Adam never understood that about her. He couldn’t understand how she couldn’t turn things off, and just enjoy herself. Even when they were in high school, she was like that, but he thought she would just grow out of it. He was realizing that she wasn’t growing out of it, and it frustrated him.

Brynn’s phone rang. It was that distinctive ring, Rose’s ring. She fumbled as she silenced it. This just wasn’t the time.
She always knows just when to call!

Adam turned away. It was becoming a familiar scene between them, angry and repetitive. The frustration was ongoing and palpable in every encounter, to the point that they were beginning to avoid one another. They were watching TV in separate rooms, reading the newspaper in silence, and finding reasons to not spend time together. They started slipping farther and farther apart without realizing it, more out of apathy than anger.

Now he was angry, and he had every right to be this time. But she fought him as she always did. Even when he was right, she still fought. It drove him crazy that she wouldn’t just admit when she was wrong. It was as though she had something to prove all of the time, and it was becoming harder and harder to be married to her. He was tired of the constant battles.
Is everyone’s marriage this difficult all of the time? Dammit!

She was late again, an hour this time. She didn’t call him because she knew he would yell at her, so she did nothing. They both knew that her chronic lateness was a sore point for him, and Brynn always had an excuse, which was even more frustrating.

Brynn thought for sure she would get out on time, this one time.

Then one of the waitresses came to her after her shift and asked if she could confide in her. It was bad timing and Brynn had been rushing all day to get out of work early so that she could get home and get ready. Brynn was conflicted as usual about leaving early, but she knew it was important and that she needed to.

“Please, Mrs. Michael, it won’t take long, I promise.”

Brynn couldn’t say no. She had taken a gamble on hiring Lucia, and she had won big. She loved how hard the girl worked and Brynn was unable to refuse her in anything from the first moment she met her.

Brynn fell in love with restaurants when she worked for the older couple, and she realized early on that it was in her destiny to have one of her own. She graduated with a Business Degree in college, and saved as much money as she could while working at a popular local restaurant. Before she graduated, she started to scout out places of her own. She found one in the city where she and Adam were planning to move. It was once a popular place, but service and quality declined over the years, and so did business. The present owners were selling it for a song.

Adam’s parents fell in love with her years before, and loved her passion. She never asked them, but they offered to invest in her. They figured that it was an investment into their future grandchild’s future. They gave her free reign because she was smart and determined. Brynn hired every employee personally knowing that she was entrusting her reputation and her livelihood to each one of them. She finally built a tight knit, committed crew who were happy in their work, and in their roles. They took care of her, and she took care of them.

Brynn’s
was a popular spot, and Lucia would have to come to work at five a.m. for the six a.m. breakfast open when she worked Monday through Friday. Then she still had to make it to school by eight-thirty a.m. Brynn wasn’t sure if she could make it to work so early, and still be able to work efficiently enough to get to school by eight-thirty.

“Please, Mrs. Michael.” Lucia’s mocha eyes were large and imploring. “Give me a chance. I promise I won’t let you down.”

They were sitting across the table from each other in a booth in the dining room. The room was painted a cool blue with airy curtains on the big picture windows with fresh floral arrangements set on every table. Brynn insisted that the dining room reminded her guests of walking into their mother’s kitchen, not that she knew what that was like. But she read it somewhere when she was a young girl, and somehow it stuck with her. Even though fresh flowers were more expensive, she had worked out a deal with the florist, and he kindly charged her a little less in exchange for the occasional free food delivery throughout the week.

Brynn was proud and protective of her creation, and while she took a chance with many things, she was hesitant to hire those without experience.

But Lucia tugged at her for reasons that she couldn’t explain. Brynn had originally breezed over her application, and had put it in the eighty-six pile. But Lucia was persistent, and Brynn felt obligated to bring her in for an interview based on that alone.

When Lucia had sat down at the table across from her, Brynn found that she was pleasantly surprised. Lucia was young, sixteen, or seventeen at the most, and had obviously dressed up in anticipation for their meeting. She had letters of recommendation from her English teacher, her math teacher, and her pastor. And she had a resume with nothing on it but extracurricular activities and church programs.

Brynn was ready to give her fifteen minutes of her time, and no more. But she felt herself drawn in. Lucia was young, but ambitious and passionate about everything. She reminded her of someone she had once wanted to be.

“I can talk to anyone. And I know that waitressing is hard work, but I promise that I will work hard, and that you will be able to count on me! I really need a job. My Papi got laid off and my Mama doesn’t make enough money cleaning houses to support us.” Lucia talked a mile a minute, but her energy was infectious and Brynn was mesmerized. She loved the lilt of her Spanish accent and the beautiful huskiness of her voice. She could listen to her talk all day.

But Brynn was a businesswoman, and she didn’t make decisions based on feelings. She gave her many reasons why it would be difficult for her to hire her, but Lucia countered every one.

“I know I would have to leave by eight to get to school, but I can come back after and finish any work that I had to leave! I’ll work dinner shifts if you need me, and I’ll do extra work to make up for anything that I can’t do because of school. The other employees won’t care because I’ll make sure that they like working with me.”

Brynn was skeptical. Bertie and Stella were crusty experienced waitresses who had been serving for forty plus years, each. They were sweet to the guests, but extremely impatient with anyone else, and they never hesitated to let Brynn know if they thought she was making the wrong decision or screwing something up. At times, they could even be a little “politically incorrect” referring to all Spanish-speaking people as “Mexicans” and blacks as “colored.” That had been the language of their time, and even though Brynn had tried correcting them, they always reverted to their ignorant way of speaking. It made Brynn cringe waiting for the day someone would sue her, but the other employees told her to let it go. They knew that Bertie and Stella never meant to hurt anyone. Brynn figured that if Lucia could win them over, she could probably run for president one day.

Brynn relented, and against her better judgment, took a chance and hired Lucia. A year later, she had no regrets. Lucia had become one of the most popular breakfast servers. She was fast, efficient, and Bertie and Stella had adopted her like the granddaughters that they had who never came to visit. She had done everything she said she would do, even working through the dinner shift and helping Jane close down the restaurant. Since they closed down at eight p.m. and didn’t have any alcohol service, Lucia was still able to close a couple of times throughout the week and get home to do her homework.

She was, by far, Brynn’s best hire in the six years since she had opened her little restaurant.

Brynn had come to be like an older sister to he, and she trusted her with everything. Lucia was an only child, and since she had been hired, her parents separated with the stress from her father being laid off. Now they were losing their house. But Lucia didn’t let that affect her at work. Brynn had taken a chance on her, and she wasn’t going to let her down. But now, she was in trouble and she didn’t know what to do.

“I’m pregnant.”

“Oh, Lucia!” Brynn was visibly upset. She kept looking at her phone and then looking at Lucia. She knew she should text or call Adam. It was their anniversary. Surely, she could be on time just this once.

This was not going to be a quick conversation. She needed to be on time, and she couldn’t forgo a shower. She had been cooking all morning, prepping the dinner specials from scratch. She had an excellent and reliable cook to do this for her, but Bob had called off for the first time in four years because he was sick, so Brynn had gone in. It was therapeutic for her to work in the kitchen and every time she did it, she chided herself for not doing it more often.
Maybe I could save money on the shrink if I just did this every day.
Brynn was covered in dough and sauce and she had worn a hat all day. She
needed
a shower.

Lucia and Brynn talked for two and a half hours. Brynn could not pull away.

And now she was going to be at least an hour late. An hour late for the anniversary dinner that Adam had been planning for weeks was unacceptable!
He is going to be so angry.

She knew that Adam would be furious if she texted him to say she would be late. They were already on shaky ground. She felt it every time she looked at him and he didn’t look back.

After eight years of marriage and seven years of dating, he felt that his life with her was drifting away. She was no longer the fifteen-year-old girl he fell in love with, and he just didn’t know the woman that she had become. For some reason, she had shut him out and he didn’t know why.

He tried connecting with her so many times, but she was always distracted. If there wasn’t a natural disaster, or a call off, a product shortage, or some type of crisis at the restaurant, Rose had an issue or crisis of some kind. Rose couldn’t make the simplest of decision without Brynn. She called for anything and everything.

Adam tried helping her with Rose, but both Brynn and Rose refused, she only wanted Brynn.

When they met, he knew that Brynn was different from the other girls. It was the reason he fell in love with her in the first place.

But he was realizing that the reasons that he loved her were also the reasons that he was beginning to feel so separate from her. Her independence and inability to open up and trust him, even after all of this time, were creating an even larger chasm between them.

He blamed Thomas, and Adam was glad he had died a slow painful death in Brynn’s last year of high school. But then there was Rose. There was always Rose. Even when they were in high school, he knew how much she depended on Brynn and needed her. He thought that as they grew older it would stop.

Brynn always answered her calls, her texts, or her emails. She never hit ignore. Adam was naïve when he thought it was cute, and that she was just devoted to her mother. Now, he just felt neglected.

“I’m not a priority to you!” he would tell her even though she wasn’t really hearing him. “Your mother sucks up all of your time and energy.” It was the same old fight.

“Yes, you are. She just needs me more than you do!” Brynn would argue. Adam exhausted her, and she couldn’t get him to understand no matter how many times they had the same conversation.

“When are we going to start a family? When are we going try to have a child? Are you ever going to not be too busy for me, for us? Brynn, we don’t even go out anymore!” The louder he talked, the less she heard him. They were on separate schedules, with separate agendas, and priorities, and she didn’t even care that they weren’t on the same page. He missed his Brynn, but Adam had exhausted all possibilities. Brynn didn’t even seem to care anymore.

He decided that their anniversary would be his last attempt to wake her up, to reel her in, and try to make Brynn his wife again. After all, he loved her, and he had forgotten how it was to
not
love her.

He had fallen for her when he had raced to get the seat next to her in their high school English class. To him, she was always special. But there had always been an unexplained darkness to her, and now he felt that it was beginning to overcome her.

The dinner was at Brynn’s favorite restaurant where they had not gone in years. He even stopped to pick up her favorite flowers. He hadn’t gotten her flowers in so long, he realized with a pang of guilt. It struck him that at some point he had stopped trying, too. Adam sat at the restaurant for over an hour, waiting for her. He had three scotches, while he waited, and finally asked for the check.

Just then, she flew in through the door looking lovely but disheveled.

Adam hadn’t seen her dressed up in so long. His breathe caught and he thought how beautiful she looked. He used to love looking at her when she didn’t know it. He knew it was cliché but he truly thought she was the most beautiful girl, especially when she smiled. Prior to meeting him, she hadn’t had much to smile about in her life. He vowed years ago that he would make her smile and laugh as much as he could, even when he didn’t know her darkest secrets.