Leaving Eva (The Eva Series Book 1) (23 page)

When she finally spoke, her voice was low and without expression, her dark brown eyes staring at Adam earnestly. “She freed me, Adam. I’m free now, from Thomas, and from her.”

Adam was silent. He had read the letter. He knew what she had done.

He understood that because of Rose, now Brynn was no longer a victim to her past. As dark and ugly as it was, Brynn was a sweet innocent child who had somehow been given control of her destiny without realizing it.

When the shots of Wild Turkey arrived, they simply stared at them for a moment. Brynn always detested the smell because it made her think of Thomas. But with her newfound knowledge of his demise, the smell no longer made her fearful. She held the shot up in front of her and Adam did the same.

“Here’s to Thomas, that bastard. He can never hurt me again,” she said, looking deeply into Adam’s dark blue eyes. “If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t be here, and then maybe I wouldn’t be with you. Every moment of my life, both good and bad, has led me here to be with you.”

Adam paused. What she said was true and he knew it. He just never thought of it like that before. He raised his glass to clink with hers, and then downed it, never taking his eyes off hers. Faced with the realization that she unknowingly helped kill her abusive father, she sat with him doing a shot. She was strengthened instead of weakened, and he was never more in love with her than he was at this moment. She was as raw and transparent to him as she could ever be, and he felt himself drawn in to her in a way that he never imagined.

He wasn’t sure what he expected, but he didn’t expect this.

Adam didn’t realize when he met her how strong she was. He just knew that she was damaged for reasons that he couldn’t begin to understand. And even though he didn’t understand her, his heart recognized her immediately. She was her own person, and now she was his.

Brynn felt relief. For the first time, she understood Rose and she wanted to thank her for loving her the way she did.

Rose finally felt that she had the strength to go on and build a life and have a family of her own. She knew that she was strong enough and she was glad that Rose didn’t let her secret die with her. Rose somehow knew that she needed to know that she had stood up for her, and that she had allowed Brynn to protect herself. Brynn didn’t feel guilt or sadness for what Rose had her do. Instead, she felt vindicated and strong. She knew that she could be a mother, and that she could be a good wife now.

Brynn looked at Adam in wonder and marveled at how this man could possibly love her, but at least now she felt somewhat worthy and deserving. She knew that she could go on and live the life that she had only dreamed about because she finally had hope.

She never had hope before. She yearned for it and craved it, but there was never really the promise of it, other than the gift of having Adam in her life.

And to her, having both hope and Adam were the only things she could ask for.

IT WAS
AN EXCITING DAY.

Jane was getting married and she asked Brynn to be the Matron of Honor. Brynn was excited. She had spent the last year dealing with her ghosts and putting away the past.

Her shrink helped her come to terms with Rose, and Brynn now felt at peace with how much she needed her as a child. She was beginning to feel more at peace with having been abandoned, but was still plagued with nightmares about running and hiding, and being terrified in the woods.

Adam still comforted her through the dreams every night when they happened, but it seemed that she was suddenly having them more and more often. The feelings of abandonment were strong, and they weren’t going away. Brynn was trying desperately to push them aside. There was so much to look forward to now.

“Brynn, we have to go soon, sweetheart,” Adam’s voice called up from the bottom of the stairs. He was always the early riser, and Brynn knew that he was already up, dressed, and had breakfast waiting for her. She showered the night before and got up slowly. She was so tired and could use another hour or so of sleep, but she knew that Jane would kill her.

Jane’s husband-to-be was a good man, and Jane credited Brynn with giving her the courage to date again. She wanted Brynn to stand up with them at the altar, and Brynn knew that she couldn’t be late.

As Brynn brushed her long dark hair, she looked at herself in the mirror. She finally looked happy and peaceful. Brynn was no longer searching for answers to questions that plagued her and kept her up through the night, and she couldn’t remember ever being this happy.

She brushed her hair in long strokes, finally able to let it grow out. She knew that there was nobody in her life anymore who would grab it and yank it. Brynn felt the fear diminishing with every passing day.

She sighed contentedly, and smiled at herself in the mirror. Her cheeks were rounder now that she had put back on some of the weight she had lost. She looked so much healthier, and she almost glowed.

The doorbell rang, startling Brynn. She waited to hear Adam answer it, and then it rang again.

Brynn padded down the stairs, moving a little slower than usual, her long cotton nightgown flowing out behind her. When she reached the front door, she hesitated for a moment and felt a shiver run down her spine.

Don’t be silly
, she told herself.
There’s nothing to be afraid of…

When she opened the door, she froze, her big brown eyes opening wide in disbelief.

On the other side of the screen stood an almost exact replica of herself, aged about fifteen years. Her hand instinctively went to her belly.

They stared at each other silently.

“Brynn, honey, who is it?” Adam called coming up behind her.

When he got close behind her, he put his hand on her shoulder, and stared. Nobody moved.

The woman on the other side stared down at Brynn’s swollen belly and smiled.

She spoke first, her voice sounding eerily like Brynn’s voice. “Eva? Eva? It’s me. Do you recognize me, sweetheart?” She was petite like Brynn, with the same dark hair and coffee brown eyes. But as much as she resembled Brynn, Adam could tell that there was something missing.

Adam thought that she looked worn down, her skin thin and dull, and her hair unkempt. But there was more that unsettled him. While Brynn’s eyes were bright and beautiful, this woman’s eyes reflected darkness and duplicity, and Adam automatically felt as though he didn’t trust her. He instinctively moved a step closer to Brynn.

Brynn was quiet, and the moment stretched out in front of her in slow motion. She felt a chill run down her spine, and she shivered.

Ellie stared at Brynn with a mixture of curiosity and jealously.

“Eva. Are you okay? You don’t look so good, honey. I’m you’re Momma. Can you let me in? I’d love to talk to you.”

Brynn didn’t want to let her in. She knew that she should want to, but she didn’t. Against her better judgment, she reached out toward the door to unlock the screen. Brynn suddenly felt dizzy, the woman in front of her was making a strange face.

Brynn could hear Adam’s voice calling her name and she wondered why he was yelling so loudly when she was standing right front of him. The last thing that Brynn saw was the distraught look on Adam’s face as she fell to the floor.

I have always wanted to write a novel.

It’s been on my list of things I’ve wanted to accomplish since I was fifteen and now many years later, I’ve finally reached my goal.

Words have always been a passion, expressed in my love of quotes, my love of talking, and my love of writing. It explains a lot about the person I am and the person I aspire to be. Sharing your writing takes both fortitude and strength and it requires the courage to lay yourself bare to strangers and to those who know you. I had neither the strength, nor the courage when I was younger to do so, and I only have it now thanks to people who have inspired and believed in me.

I was inspired to begin writing again by my sister-in-law, Tara Sivec. She has reminded me that it’s never too late to fulfill your own hopes and dreams, or follow your passion. She is stronger than she realizes, funnier than anyone truly knows, and has the most generous and amazing heart.

I don’t know that I would have continued writing a single word of
Leaving Eva
if it weren’t for a long time friend, Lisa Burke-Bruni, whom I haven’t seen in many years. I always remembered, years ago, how she encouraged me to go down this path. I simply got lost along the way and forgot where I was going. When I found the path again, I reached out to her, having her read some of my earlier work, and she reminded me to “write the story that I wanted to read.” I did that, and Eva’s story truly began. I’ve never forgotten her words of encouragement or her belief in me.

My parents, Donald and Merikay, taught me the importance of hard work and of finding happiness in all that I do. Without those lessons in life, I don’t know that I would have been able to work full time, take care of a family, and finish this book. But they instilled those lessons deep within me, which make me the person I am today.

I was shy about sharing my writing, but thanks to some wonderful friends who read and gave feedback on the early manuscript, I found the courage to continue. They are a group of wonderful women with families and stories of their own that I deeply love and admire. A HUGE ‘Thank You’ goes to Kimberly Keck, Peggy Stone, Stacey Harris, and Angela Rayner. I’ve loved you for most of my life and will love you always.

While I love to write, the words sometimes need a great deal of polishing. And for that I thank my editor, Rogena Mitchell-Jones. She has made my writing clear and concise, and I’ve already learned so much from working with her.

I’d also like to thank my Booktrope Team, J.C. Wing, Brenda Gonet, Samantha March, and Terry Mitchell. They are an amazing, wonderful, talented group of women who have lent me their talent, time, and commitment to bring
Leaving Eva
to life under the Booktrope umbrella. I appreciate them and am incredibly thankful that we are on this part of our journey, together.

Last but far from least, I am thankful to my family, my wonderful husband and my beautiful boys. They watch me type away late into the night, and sacrifice, at times, to let me follow my lifelong dream. I hope they know how much I love and adore them, more than any words can ever express. I have found the meaning of life, and it is wrapped up in them.

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