Just Make Him Beautiful (13 page)

“No
,
no
,
no, this can’t be happening
.
” Mother sta
r
ted
rocking herself back and forth
.

“Mrs. Wilson, I know this is very difficult for you
,
but your son has been taken to
Mt.
Sinai
Hospital
.
I
f you would like a ride there, I’ll be more than happy to take you.”

“I want to,” I stated as firmly as I could.

“Ok
ay,
Officer
Crawley
, I would appreciate that.
”
Mother wiped the tears rolling down her chee
ks.
“
Cameron, go wake up your sister
,
and see if Ms.
Washington
will watch her while we go check on your brother.”

*

Within twenty minutes we pulled up in front of the hospital in Officer
Crawley
’s
cruiser
,
and Mo
ther
and I jumped out and headed towards the information desk.

“Excuse me, my son was brought here about an hour ago
,” Mother said hysterically. “
Can you please tell me where I can find him?”

“Okay
,
m
adam
, now calm down and tell me what your son’s name is
.
”

“His name is
Raymond Watson
,”
Mother
said, sounding out of breath.

After a few minutes of punching keys on the computer, the receptionist informed us that a Mr.
Raymond Watson
was brought in about an hour or so ago and was being prepped for surgery
,
and his doctor was Dr.
Ros
s.

“And where can I find this Dr.
Ros
s?”
Mo
ther
began tapping her right foot.

“He’s with your son in room 316. Once you sign in, you can take the elevator
, located here on
the left, go to the third floor
,
and make a right.

Mo
ther
signed
us
both
i
n
on
a sheet of paper attached to a clipboard
, and t
he receptionist then gave us passes to enter the third floor.

As we rode up in the elevator
M
o
ther
kept praying out loud and saying the same thing over and over, “Oh Lord
,
please
,
don’t take my son from me.”

As we exited the elevator, we made a right and came across a sign with double doors that read “Intensive Care Unit
.
” As we open
ed
the double doors, I began counting down the room numbers.
Ray’s
room was the last one on the right
-
hand side.

I reached out and grabbed
M
o
ther
’
s
hand as we entered the room
, a
nd what I saw made me want to puke. Mo
ther
immediately began to cry
.
A
ll I could do was just stare at
Ray
because
I had never known anyone
who
ha
d
been shot
. T
hey had tubes coming in and out of his body, tubes up his nose, down his
throat
, and
his face
,
swollen twice its size,
was unrecognizable
.
I
f it weren’t for the
chain I
’d
bought
him
and
the
tuxedo
he
wore
, I would not have known that
this young man
was my brother.

Dr.
Ros
s turned
to
fac
e
us.
“Excuse me, can I help you?”

“Yes, I’m M
r
s.
Wilson
,”
Mother said through tears as she approached Ray. “T
his is my son
.
”

Honey, I felt so weak,
I couldn’t seem to take another step
.
I stood with my back against the wall
,
my head hung low. I
wasn’t
sure why
,
but I was afraid of this man lying on the bed unconscious and fighting for his life. I knew this was my brother
,
but because of the way he looked, as far as I was concern
ed
, he was a complete stranger.
My little body began to shake uncontrollably and
lower
its
elf to the floor
.

“Hello
,
M
r
s.
Wilson
, I’m Dr.
Ros
s,” he replied
,
extending his hand.

Mo
ther
never bothered to shake Dr.
Ros
s
’
hand
because
her focus was on
Ray
. “Is he gonna be al
l
right
,
doctor
?”
she
asked
,
tears flowing a
s she held Ray’s
right hand
.

“I wish I could answer that
,
Mrs. Wilson
,
but I can’t
.
” Dr.
Ros
s continued to examine Ray.

Mother yelled,
“What do you mean
,
you can’t
?
”

“Mrs. Wilson, your son has
sustained
a serious
gunshot
injury
,
and to be honest, even if we go in and try to retrieve the bullet, there’s no guarantee he will survive it.”

“And if you don’t operate?”
Mother asked, sounding defeated.

Dr.
Ros
s replied softly
, “He will surely die.”

Once Dr.
Ros
s told
M
other that
Ray
would die if they didn’t operate,
she
instantly fainted. Dr.
Ros
s press
ed
the emergency button
,
and other doctors and nurses came running in the room. They
placed M
other up on a gurney and rolled her out of the room.

I stayed curled up against the wall not knowing whether to cry, pray
,
or
scream.
Once the
y
rolled Mother out of the room,
I
stood up and
tiptoed over to this stranger lying on his back
,
fighting for his life
,
on life support
,
and
tubes running in and out of his mouth and up his nose. The tears started to flow down my cheeks
.
I realized that even
if my brother did survive the operation, he would never be the same Ray I knew
and loved
.

I leaned my head down on
his
chest just so I could feel closer to him
and to listen to his heartbeat
. I
was
wish
ing
I hadn’t made him mad before going to his
p
rom
.
I
wanted to
take it all back.

I whispered in his ear,
“I’m so so sorry for what I said
, Ray
. I really didn’t mean any of it. Please, don’t die
.
”

Suddenly the machine Ray was hooked up to began beeping
loudly
,
and the next thing I kn
o
w
,
d
octors and nurses were coming from everywhere. I was pulled to the side as I watched them pull out these electric paddles
and
rubbed them together
.

S
omeone yelled, “Clear,” as they slammed these paddles against my brother
’
s chest. 

“Leave my brother alone
!” I screamed
,
n
ot realizing they were only trying to keep him alive.

One of the doctors yelled,
“Get him outta here
!
”

One of the male nurses picked me up and forcefully carried me out into the hallway. He was trying to
explain
to me that they were doing everything in their power to help my brother
,
but I was too busy looking into the glass room as they continued to
slap
Ray
with those electric paddles.
I guess I was a little hysterical because the brotha grabbed me so hard
,
I couldn’t help but focus on what he was saying.

“We are doing everything we can to help your brother
,”
he yelled. “
Please give us a chance to do that
.
”

“Why are they slapping him with them paddles if they were trying to help him
?
” I spat
,
my hands on my hips.

“Those paddles help his heart beat
,
” he tried to assure me.

“How so?”

“Well
,
you see sometimes when the heart stops
beating
,
we use
those paddles
to
give
an electrical shock to the heart that
makes it
start beating again.”

“
Are you saying my brother
’
s heart
stop
ped
beating?” I asked
,
cry
ing
again.

At that moment, I saw my mother come running down the hallway. I guess someone must have gone to get her
,
but she started crying hysterically once she entered my brother’s room.

I didn’t know what was going on
,
so I went into the room and stood against the wall just in time to hear one of the doctors say to my mother, “I’m sorry
,
Mrs. Wilson
,
but
we did all we could.” 

I
wasn’t
sure what was said after that because everything seemed to have come to a
standstill
.

M
other threw herself on Ray
’s body
and
started
screaming,
“Wake up
,
Ray, wake up
!
”

Dr.
Ros
s
tried to
console
Mother
,
but she wasn’t having it. Mother paid Dr.
Ros
s no mind as she continued to pull and grab at Ray’s dead body.

I became numb to everything as I watched my mother
hold on
to
Ray
. My dead brother
. T
hat sound
ed
so strange to me. A brother that I loved
,
and was in love with.

I watched as the hospital staff literally had to pry my mother
’
s grip from
Ray’s
dead body
before
plac
ing a
sheet over his head.
Baby, this was the first time I
’d
ever experience
d
this much pain
. Even thinking about it now, brings tears to my eyes.