Just Make Him Beautiful (17 page)

I didn’t know how to respond at first because I didn’t know how she would take it
,
but much to my surprise
,
she then said, “I know you are because I heard you on the phone the other night talking to some boy.”

I knew exactly what she was talking about because I had gotten into an argument with my boyfriend at the
time and began to yell at him.
So
,
a
t that point what
else
could I say but “Yes
,
m
a
’am
”
?
She then kissed me on the forehead and said she still loved me regardless.

Even my li
’
l sister Keshia
,
who
wa
s
now ten years old
,
kn
ew
about my lifestyle. Of course
,
she d
id
n’t
know all the gory details
,
but she kn
ew
I like
d
boys and that I ha
d
a
new
boyfriend.
Our relationship got better as well because she d
id
n’t go running to our new mom about everything
,
like she used to with our old mother.
M
y new
mom d
idn’t
believe in spoiling one child over the other. Thank God.

Tonight
Robin and
I had our s
enior
p
rom
.
My mom and I had been out most of the day trying to find something for me to wear. I didn’t want to wear the traditional
t
uxedo, I wanted to stand out.
I bought a pair of black slim
-
fit jeans,
and
a pair of black loafers
. I was going to wear that with my
red
chiffon fabric shirt that
Robin had
made for me. You see, Robin had become an excellent seamstress. Girlfriend could sew her ass off. That’s how she made most of her money in school
,
sewing outfits together for some of the cool girls who had the reputation of being
with
the in
-
crowd and being fabulous.

It also didn’t hurt that
I had helped
her
to
los
e
those unruly
twenty
pounds
,
and with
my makeup tips,
we
thought we were
high
-
fashion
models every time we
cat
-
walked the school corridor.

*

Mom yelled through my bedroom door,
“Sweetie, Robin on the phone
!
”

“Ok
ay
, I’ll be out in a minute,” I
responded
back.

After tucking my one
-
of
-
a
-
kind
red
chiffon shirt down in my jeans and slipping into my loafers
, I ran to see what Robin wanted. “Thanks
,
Ma,” I
said
,
taking the phone
from her
.

While handing me the phone, my mom whispered,
“Sweetie, you and Robin are real close
.
Y
ou sure you t
w
o aren’t involve
d
?”

“No
,
Ma, that will never happen,” I said
,
my hand over the phone so Ms. Fag
-
hag couldn’t hear.

“Sweetie, you never know what might happen tonight
.
”
S
he wink
ed
at me.

“Trust me
,
Ma
.
I know.”

“
Humph
.
God
doesn’t know
,
but my son does
.
”

“Hahahahaha
!
”
Then I said to Robin,
“Y
eah
,
Ms. Fag
-
hag, what’s up?”

“What’s so funny
?
Y
our mom still trying to hook us up again?”

“
M
mm
-
hmm.”

“I thought you told her you were gay?”

“
Chile
boo, she knows. She just try
i
n
’
to
be funny. So
,
what’s up with you
?
W
hy you calling me? You dress
ed
yet?” 

“Yeah
,
I am
,
but I need you to come over and do my makeup. You didn’t forget
,
did you?”

“Naw
,
c
hile
.
I’ll be there in half an hour.”

I hung up the phone and went back to my room to
add
some finishing touches.
I stood and looked at my reflection in my floor
-
length mirror and couldn’t get over how cute I was. I had Robin tie in braids to my own hair
, which now
hung down to my ass. My light
-
skin
ned
complexion with my dark
,
thick eyebrows and long eyelashes
reminded m
e
of my girl Denise Huxtable
.
O
nly
,
I was much cuter. The red
c
hiffon shirt that Robin made for me
had buttoned up on the left side, short sleeve
s
and had a boat collar that showed off my long neck and made my complexion just that much more radiant.
I had also gotten my driver’s license a few months
earlier,
and
D
ad was letting me use his car to drive myself and Robin to the prom.

About a year or so ago, Robin
’
s family had moved all the way across town
,
but
she’d stayed enrolled at
Omaha
H
igh.
Chile
, I couldn’t wait for this night to
begin
, so I could shake my ass.

“Don’t go
,
Cam
,” my baby sister cried as she stood under my bedroom doorway.

“Aw, what’s wrong
,
Keshia?” I asked
,
extending my arms out to her.

She fell into my arms.
“I don’t want you to go to no damn prom
.
”

“Well
,
why not?”

“I just don’t want you to go
.
”

“Why
,
Keshia
?”
I looked into her teary eyes. “W
hat’s going on with you?”

“If you go, you might
not
come back either,”
she replied
,
holding on
to me as tight as she could.

“Either?”

I
t
suddenly
dawned on me that she was crying because our brother Ray was gunned down at his prom.
T
o this day, Junior was never punished for what he
’d
taken from me. I still thought about Ray from time to time and how the hospital turned his body over to the
s
tate to bury. Ray
had
never had a proper funeral
,
nor did I have a chance to say my final good
-
byes because the
s
tate had cremated his body
,
and no one seem
ed
to know what happen
ed
to the urn he was put into.

Now, the baby sister that used to get on my nerves as a kid was afraid that something would happen to me at my own prom.
I
t
had
never occurred to me until now the reason why she had been moping around the house for the past couple of days. Ray had always protected me and
Keshia
,
and
I loved him for that. I’
d
never told anyone about the special relationship that
he
and I had, not even Robin. People can be so uptight about sex
.
I
was
yet to find someone who cared for me the way Ray
did
.

“Keshia, I still miss him too
. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about him
,
but
I’m gonna be al
l
right, ok
ay,
” I whispered in her ear as I continued to hug her.

“But what if
…
”

“Shhh
!
T
here won’t be any
if
. You hear me?”

“Uh
-
h
uh.
”

“And thank you
,
baby girl.”

“Fa
-
fa
-
fa what?”

“For loving me and caring about me
.
” I plant
ed
a big sloppy kiss on her cheek.

“Aw
!
I’ve been kiss by a dog
.” And just that quick, she pulled away from me, wiping where I had kiss
ed
her
,
and ran to her room.

As I was about to leave, my mom and dad had come out from their bedroom and began making a fuss
about
how good I looked. Of course, I had to stand and pose
while
they took pictures
, b
ut I didn’t min
d.
B
esides, I did look good. Honey, I was the shit
,
and you couldn’t tell me any different.

*

I pulled up in front of Robin
’
s house still thinking about what Keshia had said
. I began to cry as I thought about the last time I
had seen
Ray
.
He was
lying in the hospital bed with tubes running in and out of his body as though he was just a piece of meat. He didn’t even look like himself
. 

“
Uh,
ex
cuse you.”

I looked up
,
and there was
Ms. Fag
-
hag
standing
by
my car with her hands on her hips
and
rolling her neck from side to side.

“Oh
,
chile
boo,” I replied
,
quickly
trying to wipe away the tears
from my eyes.

“
Ms. Thang
,
w
hy are you just sitting here?”

“Oh
,
girl,
puh-lease
, don’t come for me,” I spat
,
getting out of the car.

“
Cam
, you look so good. I love that shirt
,”
Robin said, paying herself a compliment.
Where did you get it from?”

“What
?
T
his old thang
?
” I replied
before
we went arm
in
arm
to
her house.