Jayded (41 page)

She tries to grab my arm again.
“
Kyle, stop! Where are you going?
”
she asks.

“
It
’
s over, Max. We
’
ve only been having fun anyways, nothing serious, and now the fun is over. This is what you wanted anyways. I
’
m done! Go straighten your shit out, Max,
”
I growl. I yank my arm away and then look to Cody.
“
She
’
s all yours.
”
I head downstairs.

I need to get away from this place
—
far, far away. I don
’
t know what to believe, but I do know he still has a house key. That must mean something. Having a psycho ex is something I can believe, considering what we just left from, but Cody confronting us in bed seems questionable. I mean, she still had his shit in her medicine cabinet. That
’
s not something she can forget about when she reaches for her toothbrush on a daily basis.

I get in my car just to take a ride. I shake off the pain in my hand. It
’
s going to be sore by tomorrow. I don
’
t know if I should go back or if I even
want to go back. What the fuck is the point?

It
’
s been thirty minutes since I left when my phone starts ringing. It
’
s her. I hit the
“
Ignore
”
button. I slam my hand against the steering wheel. Why did this have to happen just as we were getting close? What else has she been keeping from me? There wasn
’
t any reason to not tell me, and an engagement is not something to leave out about yourself when you
’
re getting to know someone. What was the big deal if it was over anyways?

My phone rings again. I press
“
Ignore.
”
God, why does this kill so much?

I just drive until my head
’
s more scrambled than when I started. I shut my phone off. I look down at the clock, and it
’
s one in the afternoon. I
’
ve been driving for four hours, and I
’
m already in Richmond, Virginia. I
’
ve been stuck in a haze, not realizing where I was going or how far I
’
d gotten.

What the hell were we doing anyways? This was all supposed to be for fun, right? It wasn
’
t something that was meant for the long term. I
’
m too young for long term. I
’
m supposed to be in my prime. I
’
m supposed to be having fun, right? I need to go home and fuck the first girl I see so I can erase Max from my mind.

I don
’
t know what I
’
m doing. I just know I need to get home so I can think this all through. My heart falls into my gut just knowing she won
’
t be by my side tonight. But I
’
ve gotten way too accustomed to her. I
’
m sure it will pass with time. The hardest part will be seeing her on a daily basis at work. But I never planned to stay at my parents
’
agency forever. I can manage it for now
—
I think.

CHAPTER THIRTY EIGHT

Max

Cody finally left after I came clean about my feelings. I was getting nervous when he was coming at me with closed fists. He
’
s never hit me before, but he
’
s never been that angry before, either. We argued and screamed. When he asked me why we couldn
’
t try again, I screamed,
“
Because the man I love just walked out the door!
”

It just came out. When I heard my own words, I slapped my hand over my mouth in shock. Cody just looked at me in disgust and finally walked out the door. I almost didn
’
t realize he left, because I was still stuck on those words I said.

Holy shit! I tried to deny it to myself. At first, I thought I was just in the heat of the moment and letting my emotions get the best of me, but now that I
’
ve actually said it out loud, I feel it. I can feel it all the way down in my bones. I feel it through my heart, body, and soul. It
’
s such a euphoric feeling but a frightening one as well. Now what?

I feel as though I
’
ve just had my closure with Cody. It wasn
’
t the greatest closure, but it counted for something in my eyes. Now I need to figure out what my next step is with Kyle. Just because I have fallen for him doesn
’
t mean he has fallen for me. I mean, look how easy it was for him to walk away without hearing me out. He didn
’
t even fight for me; he didn
’
t even try.

I feel nauseous out of nowhere. I keep swallowing back the saliva in my mouth. It
’
s got to be the stress that has my stomach upset. As I take a step to go downstairs, the acidic vomit comes up my throat. I run to the bathroom and get sick all over. What the fuck? Really?

My eyes are spilling over with tears. I grab a towel to wipe my mouth and sit away from the toilet, feeling empty and exhausted. It
’
s barely ten o
’
clock, and this morning has stressed me out to no end. I clean myself up and brush my teeth. I grab my phone off of the bed and head downstairs.

The only thing I want is to hear Kyle
’
s voice. I dial his number but it goes straight to voicemail. I tried calling earlier, but he put me to voicemail then, too. I text him and wait. After an hour, there is no response. Where the hell did he go? Did he really leave me?

I thought maybe he would cool off and come back, but he hasn
’
t returned, and it
’
s been hours since he left. I call one last time, and he has his phone completely shut off now. If he had stayed, he would have heard Cody admitting he was wrong for storming in and that I had told him we were through before I left for Rochester, but Cody just didn
’
t want to believe it. If Kyle had stuck around, he would also have witnessed my profound love for him. I feel lost and alone. I
’
m filled with all these feelings, and I have no idea what to do with them.

Geez, my stomach is still queasy, and I feel faint. I lie down on the couch with a bottle of water and call Kinsey. The worst part is I still haven
’
t dealt with what happened last night. I almost feel like if I think about that now, I just might explode into a meltdown. I did enough of that last night. I
’
d be crying right now if I still had any tears left.

Kinsey tells me she
’
ll be right over. I know I can count on her to be here in minutes. We
’
ve always been like this. Nothing is too important to drop when one of us is in need of the other.

Not even ten minutes has gone by, and I hear my front door open.

“
What the hell happened, Max?
”

She takes a seat on the couch across from me.

“
Everything. Cody decided to let himself in this morning while Kyle and I were sleeping. I forgot he still had a key.
”
I rest my arm over my eyes.

She remains speechless for a moment.
“
How did he even know you were in town?
”
she finally asks.

“
I guess someone he knew was at Tuscan
’
s last night and witnessed my meltdown,
”
I tell her.

She gasps.
“
Oh my! That
’
s freaking crazy. So what did Cody say?
”

I take a sip of water.
“
He told Kyle he was my fianc
é
. Kyle asked me if that was true, and Cody jumped in and said yes. I told him Cody was my ex-fianc
é
, but it didn
’
t matter. He was hurt I never mentioned it. I also lied about Cody
’
s things in the medicine cabinet. I completely forgot they were in there, so when Kyle asked me who they belonged to, I told him Justin. I shouldn
’
t have lied about something so stupid, but I did, and now he thinks I
’
m lying about all of this!
”
I huff.
“
But that isn
’
t the worst part.
”

“
What else happened?
”

“
Kyle punched Cody right in the face,
”
I tell her.

Her eyes pop out of their sockets.
“
What? Holy crap, are you serious?
”
Kinsey looks around.
“
Where
’
s Kyle now?
”

I remove my arm from my eyes to look at her.
“
He left.
”

“
What do you mean he left? Is he coming back?
”

I shake my head.
“
I thought he was going to, but he still hasn
’
t shown up. I tried calling him and texting him, but he turned his phone off. I
’
m guessing he
’
s on his way back to Rochester,
”
I tell her. Tears begin to slide down my cheeks.

Kinsey comes over to sit with me on the couch.
“
Aww, sweetie, he
’
s just upset. Give him some time to cool off. He
’
ll come around,
”
she says, trying to comfort me.
“
What about your brother? Have you spoken with him?
”

More tears gush down my cheeks.
“
No! I don
’
t even want to talk to him!
”
I screech.

She gets up to grab me a tissue and sits back down.
“
Well, I talked to Luke. He called me last night,
”
she admits.

I pop up in my seat.
“
Wait, you did? What did he say?
”

Kinsey takes a deep breath.
“
So, I guess your father was supposed to come in town last weekend, but he cancelled. He showed up at Luke
’
s house Friday, unannounced. Luke had already made plans for dinner with us, and he told your father he could come by for a drink after you left. Unfortunately, your dad didn
’
t listen and showed up in the middle of dinner.

“
Luke was pissed, but he didn
’
t want to make a scene in the restaurant. After you left, he told your father to leave. He felt horrible. He felt like he failed you, like he didn
’
t protect you. He had no idea of his father
’
s plans to show up while you were still there. I think you should just call Luke. You
’
ll feel better,
”
she explains.

That makes sense. I couldn
’
t understand why my brother would allow that to happen. He has always protected me from my father. Now I feel bad that I didn
’
t give him the chance to explain. I just can
’
t look at my father for even a minute, and it just baffles me how Luke can. How can he forgive a monster like that?

My father was horrible to all of us but mostly Luke. Sometimes I think if my brother can forgive him, why can
’
t I? But I just don
’
t know the answer to that yet. I can admit it
’
s tiring holding on to so much anger. Sometimes I think it uses more energy being angry than it does to just forgive. I
’
ve thought of getting counseling with him and my mother, but just going back to those memories makes me want to shut down. I don
’
t think I could relive it all.

I
’
ve done such great things in life without my parents; what could they possibly add to my life now?