Jacob Two-Two on the High Seas (7 page)

Captain Sparkletooth’s eyes grew wide. His upper lip began to tremble. “Please no,” he pleaded. “Don’t
make me walk the plank. Can’t you choose someone else, someone less handsome? I’m sure it would be much more effective if you chose someone people actually cared about. Then you’d find out who has the treasure!”

“I’ve read a book about pirates,” said Noah. “They never really did make people walk the plank. It’s a myth.”

“I don’t care if it’s a myth,” said Crossbones. “People expect it of us. But Captain Sparkletooth has a good point. Someone else would suit me better.” He paced back and forth. “I”ll just pick someone. Should I pick you? Or you? I know – I’ll pick
you!
”

Crossbones swiveled on his boot heels and pointed a bony finger right at Jacob. “What is your name, boy?” he demanded.

“It’s Jacob Two-Two. It’s Jacob Two-Two.”

“You’re as bad as that revolting parrot, the way you repeat yourself. You will walk the plank.”

His father stepped forward and put his arms around Jacob. “Leave my boy out of it. He’s only two plus two plus two years old. Choose me instead.”

“Or me,” said Jacob’s mother.

But the two pirates came forward and pulled Jacob away. “Sorry,” Crossbones said, “but I find the boy a far
superior, preferable, and most excellent choice. In other words, he’s going. Now hurry up, we haven’t got all day.”

Jacob tried not to look afraid. “If you don’t hurt anyone else, I’ll walk the plank, I’ll walk.” One of the pirates helped him up onto the plank stretched over the water. Jacob took a step forward. He remembered that it would soon be his birthday. He would be two plus two plus two
plus one
. Well, he didn’t have to worry about his birthday now, since he wasn’t going to reach it.

“What are you waiting for?” asked Crossbones.

“Hurry up, or I’ll send your pesky family with you.”

He took another step and then another. The wooden plank started to bend downwards. Two more steps and he was halfway to the end of the plank. Below him swirled the dark sea. He closed his eyes and shuffled forward until he was standing at the edge.

“Stop!” cried a voice. “Stop! I have the treasure! Don’t make Jacob Two-Two walk any farther!”

Jacob knew it was Cindy calling. Crossbones started to laugh. “I knew you were all softies! Alright, boy, come back now. Count yourself lucky.”

Jacob felt a huge relief as he walked carefully backwards until he was on the ship again.

“Cynthia Francis Louise Snootcastle!” cried her mother. “Don’t tell me that you’ve brought the family jewels with you. They are supposed to be in the safe at home. Why, they were there just the day before we left. I was running my fingers through them – I mean, I was checking them for safekeeping.”

“No, Mother,” said Cindy. “I have a different treasure in my pocket. I didn’t want you to know about it.”

“Didn’t want me to know? Well, well. My own daughter has a treasure that she doesn’t wish to share with me. I’m speechless. I’m dumbfounded. I’m at a loss for words.”

“And yet, Madam,” said Jacob’s father, “you still speak.”

“Enough of this chitchat,” said Crossbones. “Come on, child, show me your treasure. Show it, I say!”

“Alright,” Cindy said, stepping forward. She put her hand carefully into her pocket, moved it around, and then drew it out. She turned her hand over, opening her fingers. And there on her palm was …
a mouse!

Such an adorable mouse
, Jacob thought. The mouse sniffed the air, perked up its fuzzy ears, and cleaned its whiskers. Cindy stroked its soft head, whispering “That’s a good Treasure.”

“What is it? My eyes aren’t what they used to be,” said Crossbones. He and Mr. Scrounger bent over at the same time, knocking heads. “Ouch! Get back, you scurvy dog! You hurt my noggin!”

“And mine,” said Mr. Scrounger, rubbing his own head.

Crossbones bent over again, this time lifting up his eye patch. “Now let me take a look at what you’ve got. Is it silver? Pearls? A little closer … ah, I see now… . It’s a … a …
mouse?
” Crossbones sprang back, crashing into his fellow pirates. “Get that thing away from me!” he cried.

“Are you afraid of mice? Are you afraid of mice?” Jacob asked.

“I’m not afraid of anything. I was just surprised, that’s all. But I don’t understand. Why did you say you have treasure?” asked Crossbones.

“Because her
name
is Treasure,” Cindy said.

“You mean there’s no real treasure on the ship? No gold, no diamonds, or rubies?
Aargh
! Mr. Scrounger, you have failed me!”

“I’m sorry, Crossbones,” Mr. Scrounger said meekly.
“Please don’t put me in irons. At least I’ve found two pirates to join your crew, just like you asked.”

“Right, I did ask you to do that. Which ones have you been training?”

“Those two.” Mr. Scrounger pointed at Jacob and Cindy. “I chose the youngest, just like you said.”

“Excellent. You two are just the right age to teach how to be a pirate. Why, I was just a tot, a moppet, a lad – in short, a kid – myself when I started. Bring them aboard our ship, Mr. Scrounger. We’ll leave the rest behind and good riddance to them.”

“Now wait a minute. You can’t take my son,” said Jacob’s father.

“Nor my daughter, even if she has been naughty,” said Mrs. Snootcastle.

“Just watch me,” Crossbones said. “Pirates, throw those parents below. If I say these two are going to be pirates, then pirates they’ll be!”

CHAPTER 12

s soon as they were aboard their pirate ship, Crossbones ordered the crew to pull up anchor and raise the sails. Jacob and Cindy watched as the pirates scrambled up the masts and untied the ropes, the sails unfurling in the wind. Within moments, the old wooden ship was racing across the water. As they worked, the pirates sang.

“What’s that you’re singing?” asked Crossbones menacingly. The pirates began to tremble and switched to a different song. “That’s better. Mr. Scrounger, give me a report.”

“We’re going full sail, sir,” Mr. Scrounger said. “We couldn’t go faster if we put our feet in to paddle.”

“You’re a bad boy and you won’t get any supper!”
squawked the parrot.

“Shut that thing up.”

“Yes, sir. Just one question, Crossbones.”

“What is it?”

“Why are we in such a hurry? I mean, we’re racing at top speed across the Atlantic Ocean. Do we have a reason?”

Crossbones rubbed his chin. He looked to the left and to the right. “Hmm, good point,” he mumbled. He cupped his hands to his mouth and shouted “STOP THE SHIP!” so loud, Jacob and Cindy jumped.

Once more, the pirates sprang into action. They pulled down the sails and threw out the anchor. “Gather around, mates,” Crossbones called. The crew formed a circle around him.

“Are we going to sing more songs?” asked a pirate.

“No, you nincompoop. We’ve got a serious problem. As pirates, our job is to find treasure. But we haven’t any idea where to look.”

The pirates scratched their heads. They scratched under their arms. None of them could think of where
any treasure might be. Crossbones declared that the ship would stay right where it was until somebody thought of a place to look.

“In the meantime, maybe we could have a wee nip of rum,” a pirate said hesitantly. “After all, next to treasure, pirates love rum.”

“Rum, rum! A wee nip of rum!” chanted the pirates. Crossbones, who liked his rum as much as the next pirate, agreed. A barrel was brought from below. As they had no glasses, each pirate put his mouth under the spout of the barrel for three seconds. He got to the back of the line to wait for another turn. Very soon, the pirates were happily singing again.

CHAPTER 13

hile the pirates were singing and drinking rum, Crossbones gave Jacob and Cindy jobs to do. As the youngest pirates on the ship, they were given the worst chores. First, they had to clean seagull poop off the wooden figurehead attached to the bow of the ship. Leaning over the edge, they reached down with soapy mops to scrub the mermaid. When they were finally done, they returned to discover that all the pirates were asleep, including Crossbones.

“What if we never get away?” said Jacob. “We could become teenaged pirates and then adult pirates and then old pirates. We could!”