Jacob Two-Two on the High Seas (8 page)

“I know. If only we could think of something,” said Cindy.

Jacob heard a sound. He listened harder. Someone was calling his name. It had to be his imagination – after all, they were floating in the middle of the ocean. But then he heard it again.

“Do you hear that? Do you hear that?” Jacob asked.

“I do,” said Cindy. “I think it’s coming from the water.”

The two friends hurried to the side of the ship. When they looked down, they saw a raft made of wooden logs tied together with vines. On the bobbing raft were none other than the intrepid Shapiro and the fearless O’Toole! Their capes fluttered in the breeze.

“Here, take this,” called Shapiro.

Shapiro held out a piece of paper. But when Jacob stretched his hand over the side of the ship, he couldn’t reach it. He leaned farther and farther over the side – and then he slipped!

“I’ve got you!” said Cindy, holding on to Jacob. Jacob reached down and grabbed the paper. Cindy pulled him back up again.

“What do I do with it? What do I do with it?” Jacob asked.

“Hide it!” said Shapiro.

“But not too well!” added O’Toole. Their raft began to drift away from the ship. The Infamous Two waved until they could be seen no more. Jacob and Cindy examined the piece of paper. It was torn at the edges, stained with tea, and smudged with dirt. On it was a drawing of a large island. On the island was an
X
marked in crayon. It looked just like the sort of map that Jacob’s older brothers and sisters made when they were pretending to be explorers.

Jacob did what he was told. He rolled up the map and put it in his pocket, but he let the end stick out. A large wave splashed over the rear of the ship, drenching the pirates with cold water and waking them up. Crossbones cursed and kicked Mr. Scrounger, who cursed and kicked the pirate next to him, who did the same – all the way down the line.

Stretching, Crossbones noticed Jacob and Cindy. “Finished your job, have you? I’m sure I can find something else that nobody wants to do. Wait a minute, what’s that in your pocket?”

“Nothing, nothing,” Jacob said, pretending to hide the paper.

“You can’t fool me.” Crossbones snatched the paper away and unfolded it. “Hmm,” he said, peering closely. “Torn edges. Tea stains. Crayon mark. Why, this looks like a treasure map! Where did you get it?”

“It was floating on the water,” Cindy said quickly.

“This is it, mates! We’re saved! We’ve got real pirate work to do at last. We’re going after this treasure!”

The pirates linked arms and began to dance in a circle, kicking up their heels.

“Stop that racket! Now, according to the map we’ve got to head due south until we come to a large island. Mr. Scrounger, take the wheel!”

The pirates snapped into action. Crossbones gave Jacob and Cindy the job of polishing the cannons. He also gave each of them a hard biscuit and a slice of lemon. “That’s so you don’t get scurvy,” he told them. Cindy shared her biscuit with Treasure.
A mouse is a pretty small pet
, Jacob thought,
but it’s certainly better than no pet at all
.

“
Brush your teeth with soya sauce! Brush your teeth with soya sauce!
” squawked the parrot.

They had not been working long before a pirate up in the crow’s nest called out “Land ahoy!” Jacob and Cindy hurried to the bow of the ship, where they could see the island in the distance. It was a lot bigger than the island where Crossbones had left the intrepid Shapiro and the fearless O’Toole. Mr. Scrounger called on the pirate crew to drop anchor near the shore line. Then he called on them to prepare a rowboat.

“Come on, you two squirts,” Crossbones said. “You found the map. Maybe you’ll be of some use finding the treasure.”

Jacob and Cindy got into the rowboat with Crossbones, Mr. Scrounger, and two other pirates, and the boat was lowered into the water. Another boatload of pirates followed behind. As the pirates rowed toward the shore, they began to sing.

“Stop that singing!” Crossbones demanded. “I don’t understand why pirates have to sing so much. Now pull up onto the beach.”

The sailors jumped into the shallows and pulled the boats up onto the shore. Jacob and Cindy stepped onto the sand after Crossbones and Mr. Scrounger. Crossbones held out the map and examined it.

“I believe you’re holding it upside down,” said Mr. Scrounger.

“I knew that.” Crossbones quickly turned it over. “I was testing you. Right, then. We go forward for thirty paces, cross a stream, zigzag through a swamp, around a palm tree, walk up a hill, and it’s on the other side. That sounds simple enough. Follow me!”

Crossbones pulled out his sword, held it aloft, and began to walk. The rest straggled after, with Jacob and Cindy coming up behind. “What do you think will happen when we get there?” Cindy asked.

“Maybe the pirates will fall into a hole,” said Jacob. “Or get caught in a net, a big net.”

“We better not get caught too,” Cindy said. Crossbones counted out thirty paces, then crossed the stream, then zigzagged through the swamp. Mosquitoes swarmed around them, making the pirates dance
as they slapped at themselves. Then they went around a palm tree and started to climb the hill.

The hill was big and high, and soon the pirates, who were in bad shape, began panting for breath. “We’re almost there, lads,” puffed Crossbones, shakily raising his sword. “When we get to the top of this hill, we’ll be able to see where the treasure is. Onward!”

Forward they went. All of them reached the top of the hill at the same time. And all of them stopped, including Jacob. Because what they saw wasn’t treasure at all.

CHAPTER 14

t the bottom of the hill, Jacob saw a stage. A big stage. A curtain stitched together from old sailor’s uniforms stretched between two tall palm trees. Above the curtain, made out of twisted sticks, were the words
Treasure Theater
.

“What is this, some kind of deception, ruse, gimmick – in short, a trick?” asked Crossbones. “Draw your swords, mates. We’ll approach with caution, and if it’s an ambush, we’ll cut ’em down!”

Some of the pirates had trouble getting their swords out of their belts, but at last they were all ready. Jacob didn’t think they looked very brave. In
fact, they looked scared out of their wits. Their knees knocked together and their teeth chattered. And when they heard a loud sound, like an out-of-tune trumpet, they jumped into the air.

“
Bbbbttthhheeeww!
” the noise went again. At that moment, two people slipped out from behind the curtain. It was none other than the intrepid Shapiro and the fearless O’Toole, wearing their towel capes and their glowing
Child Power
shirts. Shapiro was holding a big conch shell. He raised it to his lips and blew into it.

“Ladies and gentlemen!” cried O’Toole. “Pirates, traitors, and captives! Our show is about to begin. If all of you would take your seats, you will see some of the most spectacular, most daring performances ever attempted on an uninhabited island. What you see today will leave you with memories to treasure your whole life!”

“Memories?” muttered Crossbones under his breath. “What sort of treasure is that?”

“Our first act,” called out Shapiro, “comes direct from the Ural Mountains. Please put your hands together and give a big welcome to …
the Bubov Brothers!
”

The pirates sat and began to clap. “Not so fast,” Crossbones said. “This could still be a trick.” But he too sat down. Jacob and Cindy looked at each other, then sat too. Slowly the curtain jerked open to reveal a trapeze hanging in the air by vines. The Bubov Brothers tumbled onto the stage, shouting to one another. They rose quickly and spread out their arms. Then the middle brother got onto the shoulders of the eldest brother, and the youngest brother got onto the shoulders of the middle brother. The youngest brother juggled three coconuts and then added a boot, a soup ladle, a sailor’s cap, and a framed photograph of Captain Sparkletooth. The pirates whooped with delight.

Next the youngest brother grabbed hold of the trapeze and began to swing. He executed a series of gymnastic moves, then hooked his feet over the bar, swung down, and grabbed his middle brother’s hands. He swung him up into the air and let go. The middle brother did three somersaults in the air, landing in his older brother’s arms.

The pirates cheered as the curtain closed. Even Crossbones was clapping.

After the Bubov Brothers came Percy Swishbottom and his dummy, Hector, who was wearing a pirate hat and a patch over his eye. The pirates in the audience pointed and laughed.

“Why are you dressed like that?” Percy asked Hector.

“Isn’t it obvious?” replied Hector. “Because I want to be a pirate.”

“Why do you want to be a pirate?”

“Well, I figured I might as well. I’ve already got a wooden leg.” The real pirates howled.

“What kind of wood are you made out of anyway?” Percy asked.

“Guess.”

“You want me to guess?”

“No, I just said the word ‘guess’ for no reason. Of course I want you to guess.”

“Maple?”

“
Mais, non
,” said the dummy.

“Oak?”

“What a joke!”

“Birch?”

“A bird’s perch!”

“Mahogany?”

“That’s funny!”

“Alright, I give up.”

“Sick of more?” asked the dummy.

“Yes, I am, so tell me what wood you’re made of.”

“But I just told you. I’m made out of sycamore!”

“That figures.”

“Hey, it could be worse. I’ve got a cousin made out of nutty pine.”

“Isn’t that
knotty
pine?”

“You don’t know my cousin.”

Jacob thought that Percy Swishbottom with his dummy was the silliest act he had ever seen, but the pirates loved it. After they left the stage, Jacob was astonished to see his mother and father step through the curtains.