Infinity & Always (18 page)

“You
okay angel?”

I
ask, cursing myself for that slip of the tongue. Her eyes light up
when she looks up at me and smiles.

“I’m
okay.”

“You
want another?” I nod to her drink and she says yes offering to
come to the bar with me.

“You
and Andie seem to be getting along.”

Looking
down at her I notice she is fidgeting with her hands, she is totally
different now. She seems almost shy and hidden away when she is out
with these ‘friends.’

“She’s
alright, I guess.”

I
order our drinks and check the time, it’s almost nine, and I’m
wondering when we’re leaving this place. Paige takes her drink
from me and walks back to the table with me behind her. Once we get
back, Trevor claims her shoulders again, and I swear I see her slump
under the weight.

“I
see you are on someone’s radar tonight,” Knox says,
nodding at the now empty seat.

“Fuck
that!” I answer and we both laugh. “Not happening bro,
she is a piece of work.”

“Yeah
I can tell and I swear she is doing it on purpose. When Bailey went
to the restroom, she tried to hit on me.”

My
eyes widen and I laugh at Knox. He shakes his head telling me he
doesn’t need this hassle and he wishes we were at home.

“Yeah
me too. Does Paige seem different to you?” I ask.

“Kind
of,” he sighs, “I don’t know her all that well but
she seems a little depressed or something.”

I
agree and we leave it at that, after another hour of this place we
finally head off to Times Square. It’s so fucking cold my teeth
are chattering and I seriously feel for the girls, wearing those
skimpy dresses. I watch Trevor rub his hands up and down Paige’s
arms and she steps back a little. When she doesn’t know it, I
catch the look of annoyance cross her face and the eye roll she gives
him.

We
stand in the cold for two hours until the countdown finally starts,
the crowd cheers and screams and the ball finally drops. Knox and
Bailey dive on each other while the other couple, have a little peck
on the lips. Trevor hugs his crazy sister and I look at Paige. This
time three years ago we were wrapped up together, then life changed
so much that night. I still remember the look on her face when she
told me we made a baby, she was scared and so was I, but I wanted it,
after the shock I wanted it.

Looking
at her now, her eyes are filled with pain and sorrow. I move through
the small crowd and take her in my arms.

“Happy
New Year, angel.”

Her
arms lock around my waist and she holds me tight, she whispers back
to me and I swear she said sorry. I step back and instantly miss her
in my arms. Trevor the fucker grabs her planting a kiss on her lips.
Her body goes rigid as he kisses her, I can’t take it, I need
to get the fuck out of here. I’m about to walk away when Bailey
grabs me and hugs the crap out of me.

“Love
you Max.”

“Love
you too, thanks.”

I
know she is watching out for me and I love her for it. She really is
the sister I never had. I catch Knox rubbing his eyes and start
getting worried.

“You
okay, Knox?”

He
nods telling me he is starting to get a headache, which is happening
a lot lately and honestly it frightens me a bit. My mom used to have
headaches too, then she got cancer and I seriously get scared every
time he gets one.

“Let’s
get out of here.”

I
call out grabbing his sleeve and pulling him. He grabs Bailey, who
gets Paige. We make a human chain down the street until the crowd is
scarce and we can walk side by side.

“Did
you take your meds?” I ask, looking at my brother.

“I
forgot them, I’ll be good probably just need water.”

My
heart beats a little faster knowing his medication is across the
fucking country. I have never told him how scared I get. I don’t
want to seem like a pussy but still, he is all I have and I don’t
want to lose him.

When
we get back to Paige’s, Knox and Bailey take the room and I
offer to take the sofa. I make him some tea and knock on the door
before I walk inside.

“Hey
you okay bro?”

He
nods his head but keeps his eyes covered with the wet cloth, “I
made you some tea and I have some Advil, that’s all Paige has.”

“Thanks,
Max, I’ll be okay,” he takes the medicine and I leave him
with Bailey.

“How
is he?” Paige asks.

“Okay
I guess, he forgot his medication,” I shake my head, frustrated
with him.

Paige
places a cup of tea in front of me, smiling.

“Thanks,”
I say, sitting down I take off my jacket. I can’t help but
think back over the night and her friends. “So how are you
friends with that lot?”

“Long
story,” she smirks at me.

“I’ve
got a few hours,” I reply.

“Well,
I met Claire when I first got here. We hit it off in NYU and got an
apartment together. When I started working, I met Trevor and Andie.
They seemed really cool and fun. We had hung out for about a year
before Trevor asked me out and I said yes,” she shrugs.

“Then?”
I question.

“Then
I dated him for a while, we worked together and it was easy enough.
We’d have lunch together, and then I’d come home to study
and he went out with his friends. I’d go on weekends to the bar
with them but after a while it got a little stale. They were kind of
boring and then Andie shows up one night and things got weird. She
would make comments about other girls and how Trevor should try for
this one or that one.

She
would target guys who looked like they had money and I figured out
they were both just using people. I distanced myself from them when I
broke up with him, but Trevor and Claire are friends too so I never
said anything about it. We would all hang out in a group and I would
ignore him and he me, until tonight.”

“Yeah,
he looked like he was your boyfriend.”

Shaking
her head she lets out a deep sigh and pulls the pins from her hair. I
watch her run her finger through it and I’m hard already.

“I
don’t know what game they were playing tonight, but they were
up to something,” she continues. “He was way too
touchy-feely and she was trying to hook you,” her eyes meet
mine and she looks sad.

“Max,
I’m sorry for hurting you the way I did. You didn’t
deserve to get the brunt of all my shit, not that you’d believe
me, but it was really hard to leave you.”

“Didn’t
feel that way, it seemed to me like you were okay with it,” I
answer, feeling hurt and betrayed all over again.

“I
know, I’m sorry but honestly, it was the hardest thing I did. I
wanted to run back to you at the airport, but I knew I couldn’t.
I just had to get out of there. Away from everyone and all the
memories that were hurting me.”

“They
were hurting me too Paige, every day. Every damn day when I looked at
you and your stomach was flat when it should have been big and
round.” I wipe my eyes quickly and clear my throat, trying not
to go back to that time.

Reaching
over she rests her hand on mine. “I’m so very sorry Max,
so sorry,” she squeezes my hand then gets up to leave.

“Angel,”
I whisper, just needing to say it again.

“I
miss that,” she says, “I miss you every day, Max.”

I
watch her walk out of the room and hear her footsteps on the stairs
and her door closing. Rinsing the cup, I make myself comfortable on
the sofa and close my eyes.

The
next morning I wake to the smell of coffee, dragging myself into the
kitchen I see Bailey.

“Hey,
sis.”

Turning
she smiles at me. “Morning, you look like you got about as much
sleep as me,” she says sounding tired.

“Is
Knox okay?”

“Yeah
he was awake most of the night though, but he finally fell asleep
about an hour ago.”

“Fuck,
let’s get this shit packed, he needs to get home and so do I.”

Just
as the words leave my mouth Paige walks in behind me, she looks hurt
and I feel like a douche now. I make coffee and down it then hit the
shower. The three of us pack up as much as we can, the sitting room,
kitchen, and her office. By four, o’clock we have nearly all of
the stuff done.

“Our
flight is at seven sis, you need to wake him up.”

Bailey
nods and leaves to wake up Knox, taking this opportunity I try
explain myself to Paige.

“I
am worried about my brother. I didn’t mean that I wanted to
leave because of you or anything.”

“Yeah
I know, I get it,” She answers, moving away from me.

“Paige.”

“I
get it, Max,” she snaps at me leaving the room.

Fucking
hell, I can’t take this shit anymore. I march up to the room
and wake Knox up.

“Come
on bro get up.”

I
lift him up and he winces, but I don’t care I need to get him
the fuck out of here and on that plane. Once I have him up, I make
him shower, with Bailey’s help. When he is dressed, he takes
two more Advil and has some water, by five-thirty we are calling a
cab and I swear it can’t come fast enough. Saying goodbye to
Paige is harder than I thought it would be, giving her a hug she
stiffens in my arms.

“See
you guys in a few days,” she says, waving to us.

I
know she was supposed to come home with us now, but I guess I fucked
that up too. Once we land back in California, I feel like a complete
asshole. I had dad meet us at the airport with my brother’s
medication. Dad actually looks pissed at Knox and it’s been a
while since I’ve seen that look on his face. Bailey drives him
home to bed and I go to hang out with my dad.

“When
will that boy learn?” Dad asks, shaking his head.

“I
know Dad, he just forgot them. Go easy on him.”

“Max,”
he sighs, “I don’t know how he forgets them. He knows how
important they are.”

“I
know Dad,” I don’t want to tell him that my brother’s
headaches are getting worse. And it’s freaking me out because
it will freak him out too and I need him right now even if he doesn’t
know it.

“I
swear if I get another call from a hospital about one of you, I’ll
fucking lose it.”

I
almost laugh at him for swearing, but I know how upset he is over
this.

“So
tell me, how was your New Year?”

I
do laugh now and shake my head, “Same, a load of shit.”

He
smiles at me and we both end up laughing. When we get home, I order
pizza and crack open a beer for each of us. I talk to him about Knox
and then about Paige, I really need advice on this.

“Son,
life is hard. Like I told your brother, if she is the one, then do
everything you can, to get her back, because it hurts like a bitch
when they leave.”

“Dad,
Mom, didn’t leave,” I whisper.

“I
know, not by choice, but as I said it hurts Max.”

I
can still see the pain on his face from my mother’s death; it’s
has been nine years already.

“Dad?”

Turning
he looks at me with a question in his eyes.

“Do
you think Knox is okay?”

“Yeah,
why do you ask? Do you know something I don’t?”

“No,
no I’m just wondering.”

He
gives me his stern look and I curse, causing him to sit up in the
chair.

“I’m
just scared, Dad. Mom had headaches then she died. I don’t want
to lose my brother too.”

Dad
relaxes a little and pats my arm, “You won’t Max, no more
than I’ll lose one of my son’s. Mom had migraines too,
sometimes they were so bad she was in bed for days, the cancer was
separate.”

My
mind is all over the place right now and I say goodnight needing to
finally get some sleep. My dad gives me a sad smile and I know I have
made him worry and I feel yet another weight on my shoulders.

***

Bailey

Getting
Knox into bed was a little harder than usual, he mumbled an ‘I
love you,' then crashed. Texting my dad, I let him know we are home
and set up the video game Max got me. I actually never play alone,
but I have no one to hang out with, so I set it up and get my zombie
warriors killed within two minutes. I play for an hour until I can’t
take it anymore. Turning off the game, I make myself a cup of hot
chocolate and grab my iPad.

Flipping
on some random movie I begin to read a book, getting through half of
it before my eyes get heavy. Making my way into bed I snuggle against
Knox. I hate when he is down like this, I wish I could take his pain
away. By six in the morning I am up ready for my run, Knox is still
sleeping and I kiss him before I leave. I run around campus and the
track before heading home. When I get back, I shower and dress in my
shorts, and t-shirt and work on my program.

Max
arrives about two in the afternoon with cookies and donuts.

“Hi,
Max.”

“Sis,”
he says, ruffling my hair and putting down the goodies.

“Ooh
yummy,” I open the box and pull out a warm donut. We both eat
in silence savoring the sweet goodness.

We
hear a noise from down the hall and look around to find a very
disheveled Knox walk into the room. He scratches his face and takes a
seat beside me.

“How
long was I out?” he asks, taking a donut.

“Just
a day, babe.”

He
nods then bites into it groaning. I make him a coffee and watch as he
eats another one.

“Okay
fatty,” I tease, pinching his side. “Real food.” I
make him some eggs and toast and a large glass of juice.

“I
was thinking of getting some more ink, you down?” Max asks
Knox.

“Yeah,
what were you thinking?”

“Not
sure, I just want another one.”

“Aren’t
you guys running out of space?” I ask, getting a look from both
that basically says I’m nuts.