Infinity & Always (28 page)

“You
going to stand there all day?” Dad says.

“No
sir,” I laugh and take off my sunglasses. Draining my coffee, I
throw the cup in the trash and go stand beside my dad. Throwing my
arm around him I give him a squeeze. “I love you old man.”

His
eyes snap to me, “I love you too son. What’s going on?”
His face is creased with concern and he claps me on the shoulder. I
tell him about the surgery. I actually for once tell him the truth
about how dangerous it really is and that I only have a sixty to
seventy percent chance of survival. His face pales and his knees give
out, I grab him quickly.

“Sorry,
maybe you should have been sitting down.”

“Knox
Andrew Porter,” he glares at me, he looks so pissed off, but I
know it’s because he is hurting.

“I’m
sorry Dad, but don’t tell Max or Bailey,” I beg him.
“Besides, I’ll be fine, I’m not checking out yet.”

He
shakes his head and walks out to the lake. I give him a minute before
I follow him. “You okay?”

“Not
really son, this is harder than I thought it would be. Losing my wife
was tough. But she was sick, so we knew, we could see it. But you’re
my child and you’re young, this shouldn’t be happening,”
he shakes his head and rests his hands on his hips. Picking up a
rock, I toss it into the lake.

“Bet
you can’t beat that.”

He
looks at me from the corner of his eye and smirks. I bend down and
pick up two more rocks and hand one over. “Come on mister, you
played baseball, show me your arm,” I tease. He reaches back
and throws the rock and we watch as it sails out over the water and
splashes a fair bit out. “I think you beat me.” I throw
the next rock but I can’t get it out as far as his.

“Looks
like you’re buying lunch,” he says, patting my shoulder
and telling me to stop playing around and get back to work. We work
on the house for a few hours. I am actually physically putting in the
window seat for Bailey. I want her to know that every time she sits
here, that I built for her.

“Looks
good,” Dad announces from behind me. I am being a little
childish and scratching on the top of the wood. “What are you
doing?” bending over my shoulder, he chuckles. “Knox
loves Bailey,” he reads aloud.

“Yeah,
she’ll find it funny and the cushion will be on top,” I
answer, admiring my act of vandalism. Dad tells me he feels like
pizza for lunch, so I drive him down to Pizza Mia. We take a seat by
the window and order. “You want a beer?” I ask, lifting
my eyes over the menu.

“No,
maybe later. I’ll need more than one,” he sighs.

“Don’t
Dad, I need you to be the strong one,” I reply. He nods at me
and gives me a small smile. We talk about the wedding over lunch. I
tell him about Frank paying, and he tells me to leave it alone and
not to get in between a man and his daughter. I can’t help but
laugh at him.

“Did
you ever regret having two boys?” I ask.

“No,
it was a blessing and twins was even better. We tried to have a girl,
but I guess we weren’t meant to. But I have one now,” he
smiles.

“Yeah,
I know you do. She loves you like a second father too.”

He
smiles big and proud at me “I like Bailey, she’s a
wonderful young woman and I’m happy you have each other.”

“Me
too, she’s amazing all right.”

My
heart is ready to burst with how much I love that girl of mine. She
is everything to me and I just hope I get to see it for myself, not
from afar. Dad and I go back up to the lake and finish up some more
little things. Dad tells me that we should have the flooring for the
whole house next week and the painters will be here on Friday and
work through the weekend.

“Sounds
good. So can I see upstairs?” I ask, heading that way.

“No!”
he shouts at me, grabbing my arm. “I was told not to let you up
there.”

“Why?”

“Because
that’s what I was told, now go home. Will you be here next
week?”

“No,
sorry I have to get back to real life,” I sigh.

“Okay
then, how about you kids come over on Sunday?” he asks.

“Yeah
I’ll bring steaks.”

I
give him a hug and leave the house. On my way out I notice all the
grass has been delivered and a few trees are placed beside it. I
didn’t know we were getting a new garden. When I get home
Bailey, is already here and studying.

“Hey
darlin’,” I bend down and kiss her, tasting chocolate.

“Hi,
how was your day?” she asks.

“Good
but way better now. I’m grabbing a shower.”

She
smiles at me and goes back to her homework. Making my way down to the
bedroom, I text Max telling him about Sunday. My whole body aches and
my head is pounding. After a quick shower, I chill on the sofa. It’s
hard feeling like this, so drained and fucking useless. There are so
many things I want to do, but I have to relax for these few weeks.
Bailey strolls into me carrying a glass of water and my medication.
Taking them I swallow quickly and drain the glass.

“Thanks.”

“You’re
welcome babe,” she climbs up beside me and asks if I am going
to attend her last game next week.

“Shit
darlin’, I’m sorry I missed your games. I’ll be
there. How can I not? It’s the sexy Super Bowl,” I tease.

“Yeah
and it’s a home game so that’s easier,” she says,
wrapping herself around me.

“I’ll
be there, I promise,” I assure her. We hang out on the sofa
until my stomach grumbles. We make dinner together and eat watching a
movie. Bailey tells me that her finals start soon and she has all
early exams, then a four-day break, and her last exam is the day of
my surgery.

“Oh,
that’s okay darlin’, it’s probably better like
that,” I tell her, but I feel crap.

“I’m
not taking it,” she says.

“What?
You won’t graduate without it darlin’.”

“I
don’t care. I have a job and I have money,” she shrugs. I
look at her for a few minutes. She is pretending not to care but I
can see it, by the way she is staring straight ahead.

“You
know they have an emergency program thing that you can do your exams
after the date; but only if there is an emergency. Maybe they will
let you do that.”

“Maybe,”
she answers.

After
dinner I flake out while she studies. I am watching her. The way her
lips move as reads silently and the way she taps the pen on her
knuckles when she is looking for answers. My eyes follow the curve of
her neck down her shoulder, and back, she looks so small.

“Stop
staring at me,” she says.

I
laugh at myself and at her. “I like staring at you darlin’,
it’s my favorite pastime.”

She
lifts her head a little and watches me back. Her lips tilt at the
corners, like she is trying to hold back a smile.

“You’re
my favorite pastime,” she answers and looks back down to her
book. I jump off the sofa and grab her around the waist, knocking her
to the floor. I straddle her hips and begin a slow torturous tickle
war. My fingers work up and down her ribs, while she squirms and
screams. Her knees are hitting my back and I think I already have a
bruise from it.

“Stop!
Mercy! Mercy!” her voice is a mixture of laughing and crying.

“Never
darlin’,” I keep tickling her until she is barely able to
breathe. I rub her ribs while she gets her breathing under control,
she wipes at the tears rolling down to her hair.

“You’re
mean,” she smiles at me.

“Only
because I got mad love you for you darlin’,” I grin at
her.

“Mad
love?” she giggles again.

“Yep,
all for you baby,” leaning down I kiss her gently. I feel her
hands in my hair and I love it. I love the way she can make my scalp
tingle with just a slight touch or the way my body responds the
minute she walks into the room.

“I
love you darlin’.”

“I
love you too, you know I think we should go for a drink.” She
bites her bottom lip and I pounce.

“Okay
let’s go,” I announce, pulling her off the floor. On the
way through campus, she jumps onto my back. I spin us around, and
walk to bar with her on my back. I let her down, so we can fit in the
door, gripping her hand as she walks past me, our fingers twine
together.

“Hey
what’s up douchebag?” Max says, to me when I sit down.

“Nothing
why?”

“Where
have you been all week?” he asks, putting a beer down for me.

“Helping
Dad,” I reply. Bailey looks at me, and pouts.

“You
never said.”

“I
know darlin’, it’s a surprise.”

Max
laughs at us and grabs a beer for himself, we chill in the bar for an
hour or so, and I take Bailey home. We walk through campus slowly,
taking our time. I watch her smiling as the wind blows into our
faces.

“What
are you thinking about darlin’?”

“You,”
she sighs. “I’m always thinking about you Knox. I love
every day with you and I kind of get annoyed with myself.”

“Annoyed
for what?”

“For
all that drama with Ben. We wasted too many days being stupid and
careless with each other’s hearts.”

I
pull her to stop in front of me and cup her face. She smiles up at me
and leans her face into my palm. “Don’t think like that
darlin’. We have always loved each other and just like every
other couple, we had a rough patch.”

I
really want to make her understand that I never fell out of love with
her. Just that thought alone makes me feel sick. “You know that
song I sang to you?” she nods her head. “I wrote it about
how I felt at that time. How I felt like I pushed you away and all I
wanted was for you to come back to me. I missed you like I’d
miss my shadow. I’m not giving you up so easy darlin’.”

“Because
you got mad love for me?” she smirks.

Nodding
my head I chuckle at her, “Yeah, darlin’, mad fucking
love.” I lean down and kiss her, closing my eyes I fight to
stay upright. A blinding pain rips through my head and I can feel my
hands shake from it. Pulling back I hold her close and breathe
through it, “I think we need bed.”

Bailey

Leaving
my advisors office I am pissed off; she refused me the emergency test
thing. She said a fiancé having brain surgery didn’t
constitute as one. My mouth ran away with itself and unfortunately
she got the sailor version of myself.

Her
face turned red and she pretty much ‘asked’ me to leave
her office. I stomp all the way to my computer class and slide into
the seat beside Paige, dropping my bag on the desk with a thump.

“So
I guess that didn’t go well.”

“No,”
I sigh, “she said it didn’t count.” I clench my
fists on top of the table allowing my nails to pierce the skin. “I
can’t believe this,” shaking my head, I close my eyes to
keep my tears inside.

“Go
talk to the Dean, maybe he can help,” Paige suggests.

“Yeah.”
Grabbing my bag I take off. My feet stomp all the way to the
admissions building again and up to the Dean’s office. I am met
with yet another assistant who is uncooperative.

“You
need an appointment Miss Mortenson.”

“It’s
an emergency,” I grind, through my teeth. She won’t
budge, so neither do I. Taking a seat on the leather chair, I wait.
It’s not long when the Dean’s door opens and he walks out
followed by Agent Daniels. I shoot to my feet and square my
shoulders, Agent Daniels notices me first.

“Hey
shouldn’t you be in class?” he says, smiling.

“Yeah,
but I need to speak with the Dean,” I answer.

Agent
Daniels looks concerned and asks if everything is okay. Shaking my
head, I am barely able to hold on. My resolve is cracking and I’m
losing it. Dean Chambers stretches his hand out to usher me into his
office, when his assistant reminds me I don’t have an
appointment.

“I
told you it’s an emergency,” I snap at her. My hands are
shaking from anger now. I need to run, I need to calm down before I
get kicked out with two weeks to go. Agent Daniels puts his hand on
my back and moves me into the room. We all sit down and I get my
story out, and pretty much beg the Dean to let me take my last exam
on a different day.

After
a few sighs and repeating my dilemma, he tells me he can’t
change the date because he won’t have an available proctor. My
hearts sinks and I just nod, not trusting my voice. Standing, I leave
the room and walk to the gym where I change into my football training
gear and head out to run. I don’t know how long I run for, but
all I know is my life is fucked up right now. Of all the days that
test could be on, why did it have to be on that day?

My
eyes see the remaining students leaving campus, but I am not really
registering it. My legs just keep going and going - it feels good to
run like this. It’s been way too long, that’s one good
thing about moving back up to the lake. I can run again. My feet
pound the track in time with my raging heart. All the pain I have
been holding onto is finally being released and although it feels
good, I know the minute I stop it all come crashing back down on top
of me. Rounding the bend in the track, I notice a figure strolling
out into my path. Honestly I am about to run them over when Knox
smiles at me. I pretty much fall into his arms and hold on tight.

“Hey
what is it?” concern and worry lace his voice, as his eyes scan
my whole body looking for something amiss.

“Nothing
babe.”

He
stretches his arms out moving me backward. “I don’t buy
that darlin’. You’ve been running for an hour solid and I
know that means something is going on in that pretty blonde head of
yours.”

“I’m
okay, just a bad day.”

He
nods but still looks worried.

“How
do you know it’s been an hour?”

“I’ve
been watching. I came to walk you home, but Paige told me you left
class and she didn’t see you again. So after my heart calmed
down,” he smiles, “I walked over here and saw you.”