Imperfectly Perfect (11 page)

Maybe this was going to be more promising than I had initially thought. I slid into my seat just as the hostess finished her spiel.

"Let the dating begin!" she yelled as the first guy came and sat at my table.

Now, not to be mean or anything, but the guy was a real Loser; with a capital 'L'. He talked as though he was Gods gift to women and that I would be lucky to have him. Clearly he was making up for something. The term 'little man syndrome' sprung to mind.

He set the trend because after that the losers just kept on coming. With each ring of the bell, came another Mamma's boy or wannabe Casanova. I was fast beginning to lose faith in speed dating.

But then I saw him, Mr. Wonderful, as I liked to think of him. His beauty made it seem like he was walking towards me in slow motion. Locking eyes with me, he sat down opposite. I began sizing him up again, but I just couldn't take my eyes off that wonderful smile. Then I caught his scent and swooned. He smelled even more delicious than he looked.

I had always had a thing for men's cologne and frequently snuck into the guys' bathroom and sprayed some of my favorites onto my sweats. The guys got pissed at me for stealing their stuff because they claimed I was wasting their
doe estrus
(You know the stuff hunters put on themselves to lure deer in for the kill… yeah, they're assholes).

Talking to him was as easy as breathing. Despite his gorgeousness I felt completely at ease with him. I won't bother to give you the blow by blow of my first and much-too-short encounter with Mr. Wonderful but the important parts went like this…

"So," I sneaked a glance at his nametag again just to be sure, "Bradley...what do you do for work?" I started right out by bombarding him with all the important questions us girls just have to know.

"I'm a doctor."

Ding!

"Where do you live?"

"A penthouse on the Upper East Side."

Ding! Ding!

"Where do picture yourself in five years?"

"I hope to be living in the 'burbs with a wife and kids..."

Ding! Ding! Ding! Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a winner!

I didn't need to hear anymore, but I wouldn't have the chance to anyway because the bell sounded. I quickly made a note of his ID number so that I could access his contact information at the end of the night. I was beyond thrilled.

My writing and thoughts were interrupted as the next ding-dong sat down and cleared his throat. I glanced up from my paper to see Shane sitting there looking utterly pathetic. I was already over our earlier disagreement, but I decided to toy with him anyway.

"So, let me see… what should I ask? Oh I got it! Why are you such an asshole?"

He just looked at me with those sad puppy dog eyes, and I could tell that he felt bad for not being supportive. I had always been able to get a good read on Shane and his facial expressions. But, I couldn't let him off the hook that easily.

"Aren't you supposed to be my best friend?" I questioned.

His pathetic puppy dog eyes met mine, "I'm sorry I was a jerk. It's just..."

"Doesn't matter," I interrupted. I found myself angrier with him than I had originally thought. "Any last words, before I uninvite you to the rest of this evening's festivities?"

He shifted nervously in his seat and cleared his throat, "Goal?"

I cracked a half-hearted smile. How could anyone stay mad at that? "Goal. But I'm still pissed at you."

I decided to reward the boys for going to speed dating with me by taking them to O'Malley's. It seemed that whenever there was a special occasion or a life-altering event, we always ended up at O'Malley's.

I can still remember the first time we found ourselves outside of O'Malley's. Our collegiate soccer careers had just ended with the guys losing in the semi-finals; my own season had ended the previous day with a heartbreaking quarterfinal loss. Feeling nostalgic we had decided to commiserate by going on an outrageous pub-crawl across the city.

We were making our way back to campus when Rob vomited in a deserted alley. That's when I saw the neon green sign; a little leprechaun hanging off the 'O' of O'Malley's. I said something about the cute little guy and wandered over with the guys following closely behind. Once inside we couldn't help but realize what a gem we had found; a place where we could go and be ourselves and not have anyone give us shit.

We decided every group of friends needed a place; Friends had 'Central Perk' the gang in 'St Elmo's Fire' had their bar, and those guys in 'How I Met Your Mother' had MacLarens. Thus we claimed O'Malley's. The guys really enjoyed it more than I did, but I always found myself tagging along. After graduation? O'Malley's. Landing our first jobs? O'Malley's. When Shane's high school sweetheart broke his heart shortly after graduating from NYU? O'Malley's.

So you can imagine how excited they were when we rounded that familiar corner and headed down the same alleyway that Rob had christened so many years ago.

"You just totally redeemed yourself Em!" Rob yelled as he ran ahead. I just smiled, shaking my head at how easy it was to please men. Well I shouldn't say 'men', I guess it was just easy to please these guys; my boys.

Once inside we found our way to our familiar nook; the booth in the back corner, right next to the dart boards. I scanned the bar as we sat down and noticed the same few regulars. I didn't know if it was just me, or if everything that was happening in my life was making me more despondent, but they seemed to be so much older and broken. I felt sadness in my heart as I thought that that could be me one day. An old spinster, drinking away her pain and talking about her glory days.

Thankfully, my thoughts were broken by Shane's voice.

"I'll go grab beers for us," he said, standing. "What do we want tonight?

"Guinness!" We all exclaimed simultaneously.

It was an unwritten rule that whenever we found ourselves inside of O'Malley's we must drink the heavy Guinness. I mean, you couldn't be in an Irish pub and not drink the beer of choice.

Shane left us in our usual booth, while he talked to the bartender and placed our order.

"So did you find the man of your dreams tonight Em?" Rob questioned.

I felt my cheeks burning up with embarrassment. "I'll be sure to let you know when I do."

"If you ask me, that's not the right way to try and meet someone to have a baby with. You already know three sperminators," Rob chuckled, "I'm sure one of us could help you out there."

I felt my jaw drop and my eyes bug out of my head. Did he really just say that? How mortifying! "Excuse me?" I asked in astonishment. I couldn't believe it.

Rob fidgeted in his seat. "Isn't that all you want? To find someone to have a baby with? I mean, this is because Liz got herself knocked up, right?"

"Rob," I interrupted, "I need you to understand that it is not all about me having a baby. I'm almost thirty, and I still live like I'm in college. I live with three boys for crying out loud!"

"Excuse me, we're men," Tyler interjected.

"Whatever!" I added, "I don't know how to cook or clean, because I don't have to since we order out and have a maid. This isn't about having a baby, it's about me building my future because let's face it you all are going to go off and get married one day and where will that leave me?" I paused for effect and noticed Rob uneasily shift in his seat and Tyler gave me an approving look. "I've just realized that I won't be young forever and I need to grow up. Deep down I think I have always wanted to be a wife and a mother. Besides, I'm not exactly getting any younger."

"Well said Em." Tyler reached over and rubbed my shoulder in an attempt to comfort me.

I felt empowered, having finally been able to verbalize everything that I had been feeling over the past few days.

We sat in silence for a few minutes until Shane came back with four mugs of Guinness.

"What did I miss?" he asked setting the drinks carefully on the table.

"Only Emma giving Rob a piece of her mind," Tyler sipped. "Nothing big."

We chuckled.

Tyler handed me my Guinness, "So did you meet anyone noteworthy tonight?"

At this point I lost all sense of self-control, and it was like diarrhea of the mouth. I told the guys all about Mr. Wonderful, aka Bradley. Being the fabulous friends that they were, they sat there silent holding their mug of beer listening intently. When I finished each of them said their own versions of good for you, and that was that.

Rob and Tyler got up and went over to play a game of darts, leaving Shane and I at our table. We sat there for a moment silently taking gentle hauls of our beer, until he grabbed my hand, making eye contact with me.

"Just be careful Em," he pleaded, "I don't want you to get hurt."

"Thanks Shane," I reached across the table and placed my other hand on top of his, "I will."

He smiled in response.

"But if you do, get hurt, you know that I-I mean we-will always be there for you."

I nodded as I chugged down the rest of my frothy beer. I knew that was the truth. I can't remember a time I had to go through a hardship without the guys. Tyler and Shane had been with me through everything, but the time that stuck with me most was when my Gramps had died.

We had just started our freshman year and between school and trying out for the soccer team I was stressed beyond belief. At the time my school didn't have a girls program so I was playing with the boys and it was tough. Shane and Tyler had easily sealed their spot on the starting line up, but I had to work harder because I had a Y chromosome.

Gramps had been my biggest fan, even more so than my dad, and he had been calling nightly wanting me to go visit him and Gran. I just couldn't find the time and kept feeding him pathetic excuses.

I remembered that day like it was yesterday. My dad had showed up at practice to tell me Gramps had died and my world came crashing down. My grief was mixed with guilt. Shane and Tyler left practice with me knowing that they would lose their starting positions for it but I mattered more to them, and that was something I would never forget.

It was closing time when we all finally stumbled out of O'Malley's. My arms were slung around Shane and Tyler's necks holding myself up, or maybe they were holding me up, I'm not quite sure. But as we walked the seven blocks home, we reminisced about some of the highlights of our friendships.

The first time Tyler and I met, his family had just moved into the house across the way from mine. I was seven and my mother had asked me to take over a plate of store bought cookies, so I did. I remembered knocking on the door and Tyler's mom answering and happily accepting the plate. She said something about having a boy my age and turned and yelled for him to come to the door. When he finally arrived his mother urged him to go play with me; pushing him out of the door and closing it behind him. We laughed as we remembered how we stood there for ages just staring at each other; only to then take off into the woods to play. We were inseparable from there on after.

Eventually, Tyler needed some male companionship and once we got to middle school he met Shane through the local soccer team. Shane lived just across the town line so he went to a different middle school than us but they hit it off straight away. I met Shane for the first time when I showed up on Tyler's front porch early one Saturday morning. Shane was already sitting outside waiting for him to come out and play.

I wasn't shy, so I asked him his name. He quickly and quietly told me but it wasn't until later that I found out that he had been scared of girls. I held out my soccer ball and asked him if he wanted to play while we waited. He obliged and that is how our twosome turned to a threesome.

By the time High School rolled around every boy in the county knew better than to mess with me or they would have had Tyler and Shane to answer to. That's not to say it didn't ever happen though. We chuckled as we remembered the time that they got suspended from school for 'accidentally' clothes lining Trent Wood after he cheated on me.

I felt blessed to have such great friends. We had made some pretty good memories together, and they would be people that I would cherish for the rest of my life. Yet, there was a part of me that knew it was time for a change. It was time for me to grow up and move on with my life. And that is exactly what I intended to do.