I am Wolf (The Wolfboy Chronicles) (6 page)

Then I ran back. I wasn’t in the same spot as the day
before, but still in the forest so it wasn’t difficult to find my way back. I
felt worn out as I spotted the small castle in the distance. It seemed quiet
for now but I knew it wouldn’t last. My mother always rose with the sun. Ever
since our maid had quit because she didn’t want to work for “dirty Jews”
anymore my mother had decided to take care of everything herself. It was a lot
of work and it had been wearing her down. The rabbit was for her, I thought.
She needed the meat.

I saw light in her room and in the kitchen. She was
already up. I cursed then ran towards the back door leading to the cellar. It
was overgrown with bushes that I pushed aside. I opened it as quietly as I
could manage and then ran up the back stairs towards the hallway upstairs where
all the rooms were. I had to pass all of my brother’s rooms on my way. My
sister slept in the other wing closer to my parents. I crept along the walls
trying to not make a sound, when suddenly one of the doors opened. Isaac
stepped out of the room. He looked like he wasn’t fully awake yet. He rubbed
his eyes and stretched.

Then he looked right at me.

I froze, and then swallowed hard. He stared at me like
I was a ghost. I held my breath. Then he laughed out loud.

“What the hell are you up to little brother?” he
asked.

Then he stared at the rabbit in my hand. It was
dripping blood on the floor. Isaac shook his head. “I’m not sure I even want to
know,” he said. “Did you go hunting naked or something?”

I shrugged. “I guess,” I said.

Isaac shook his head. “You are strange, baby brother.
I always knew you were, but this I hadn’t foreseen.”

I shrugged again then walked past him towards my room.
I was swearing and cursing while dressing myself. I had no idea how I kept
ending up in the forest with all those animals and now I was apparently shot?
What was happening to me? If they were going to ask questions about my behavior
I had no idea what to tell them. What could I say? That I had blackouts and
didn’t wake up until the morning in a strange place not knowing what happened?

I picked up the rabbit and walked downstairs to my
mother in the kitchen. She was bent over the pot as I entered. Probably making
porridge for our breakfast. She looked tired, worn out. I stepped closer. She
saw me and smiled gently. I adored her smile. I lifted up the rabbit.

“It’s for you,” I said.

She wiped her hands in her apron. It was strange to
see her in those worn-out clothes. My mother had always dressed nicely and had
the comportment of a woman of a certain stature. Her clothes had been the
newest fashions and she would often go to Bucharest to find them. Now she was
wearing rags and an old torn apron. She was complaining about her back that was
killing her. It was so unlike her to look like this and it saddened me
immensely.

Mother took the rabbit with a huge smile. “How?” she
asked.

I shrugged. “Does it matter? I killed it in the
forest.”

“You know your father won’t like that you went out
there alone. We never know when the Iron Guard will start trespassing on our
property. They have driven through a couple of times. They don’t respect
boundaries. If you’re in their way they might hurt you.”

“I know he doesn’t like it, but I can’t stay locked up
inside forever.”

She sighed and then smiled. “I know and this will
definitely please your father,” she said holding up the rabbit. “He probably
won’t even think about how you got it.”

Now that was like her. Always thinking about everybody
else.

“Don’t forget to get some for yourself,” I said.

She reached out and touched my face. “Sweet boy,” she
said. “Always taking care of his mother. I am blessed to have you.”

I kissed her forehead. She closed her eyes. “I’m sorry
if I haven’t been much help to you lately,” I said.

“I know a lot has been going on with you. You’ve been
sick for a long time ever since that bear attacked you.” She felt my forehead.
“Luckily the fever is gone now,” she said with a gentle smile. “I knew that
doctor was wrong. No medicine in the world can beat the love of a mother.”

I sat at a kitchen chair while my mother started
preparing the rabbit. “I think it might have saved me,” I said. “I don’t think
it attacked me.”

She took out the big knife. Then she looked at me
pensively. “You think the bear saved you? How come?”

“I don’t know. I felt something ...” I sighed deeply.
“Like a connection or something. Like it knew me. I couldn’t see it or look
into its eyes when it bit me, but I felt like ...” I looked at my mother and
realized that she would never understand. How could she? I had felt something
deep when this animal bit me; it was like it had chosen me. I could never
explain that to her. And what about all that was happening to me now? The
change of my body, the hairs, and the nightly runs to the forest. I knew it was
all connected to the bite, to the beast that had bitten me. Could it have
transferred something to me, something that caused me to have these blackouts
and go into the forest? Was I becoming someone else when I had those blackouts?
Was I becoming something completely different?

I was caught yet again by fear sitting in front of my
mother in the kitchen. This change I was going through, could it be? I had
heard stories about humans turning into something else, but weren’t they
nothing but fairy tales? Stories told to scare kids from going into the forest
at night? Could they be real? Could there be more to this life than I had
anticipated?

“Your mind is drifting again,” my mother said.

“Have you ever heard about werewolves in these areas?”
I asked.

My mother froze, her back turned to me. She hesitated
before she answered. “I’ve heard the legends. The myths told mostly by old
people.”

“What legends and myths?” I asked.

“You know, all the stories.” She spoke without looking
at me.

“Could you tell me about them? I really want to know,”
I said.

She stared at me. Then she smiled. “You always loved
listening to stories. I used to say that it’s because you belong to a different
world. It’s nice to see that some things don’t change.” She walked towards me
and pulled out a chair. She sat in front of me while she spoke. I enjoyed
listening to her soft voice. “Well if you must know, some legends say that the
first man in Romania to become a werewolf did so because he was cursed by the
spirits. They told him he would be a wolf for nine years. If he hadn’t tasted
human flesh, he would be allowed to turn back and be with his family again. It
was said that he became the wolf because he ate human flesh and the spirits
wanted to punish him for doing so. Another story is of a woman. As the legend
goes, a spirit came forward to punish her for terrible sins by forcing her to
put on a wolf skin. Once she did she immediately began to crave human flesh.
Unable to control herself she attacked her own children and the children of her
relatives, eating them one by one. That done she moved on to children of
others.”

I looked at my mother with wide open eyes. She grabbed
my hand. “Oh don’t you take any notice of those old stories, that’s all they
are, myths and fairy-tales,” she said but didn’t sound convincing. Then she got
up and went back to cooking. I felt my heart racing in my chest and broke into
a sweat. Was that me? I kept thinking. Was that who I had become? Had I been
cursed as a punishment? Was I going to crave human flesh like I craved the
animals of the forest? The thought frightened me.

My mother noticed it on my face. “Oh sweet boy. You
got scared. I shouldn’t have told you those dumb stories. They are only meant
to scare people.”

“But you used to tell me that the forest is filled
with creatures like that,” I asked. “You used to say that there is a lot more
to this world than what we see. Does that mean that there is evil out there
too? Evil creatures?”

My mother placed a bowl of porridge in front of me.
Then she looked at me and stroked my cheek.

“Sweet boy. Don’t you worry anymore about those kinds
of things. Just eat your food.”

“But ...”

I didn’t get any further before the kitchen was
invaded by the rest of my family.

Leon, my oldest brother patted my shoulder. “Well what
do you know?” he said laughing. “Our baby brother is up early.”

“You missed out on a great hunt last night,” Isaac
said and sat at the table. He began shoveling in food. “We found that bastard
and hunted it for hours,” he continued with his mouth full.

“He was huge. I kid you not. Ran like the wind as
well. Outsmarted us a couple of times. Finally I managed to get close enough to
shoot him,” Leon said. “A nice and clean shot.”

My mother turned and smiled. I sensed she wasn’t
really listening. Then she placed freshly baked bread at the table. My brothers
attacked it like vultures. My dad hadn’t said a word. He was sitting next to my
third brother, Jakob. My sister Elina was assisting my mother in the kitchen.
My father grumbled loudly while he ate.

“So did you kill it?” he asked.

“Sure did, father,” Leon replied. “Won’t be of any
trouble anymore. Our sheep are safe.”

“Well, we didn’t actually see if it was dead,” Isaac
continued, “since it kept running even after it was shot and it disappeared
deeper into the forest, but it must have died. No animal can survive being shot
like that. It was bleeding, we saw traces of blood in the snow where the moon
was shining.”

My father growled again. Carefully I felt my chest
where the bloody wound had been when I woke up, where I had pulled out a
bullet. There was nothing there. I wasn’t even sore.

“You’re not eating?” my father said nodding in the
direction of my full bowl. “You’re not getting sick again, are you? You have to
eat to stay strong,” he grumbled. “We need you well enough to begin working in
the fields again in spring. We need your labor.”

I stared at my family while they ate. The smell of the
porridge was repulsive to me. It startled me since I used to be able to eat
almost anything. But I didn’t care for this food anymore. I didn’t feel hungry
at all. Still I ate a spoonful to make them happy. In these times we didn’t
waste food. I knew my parents worked hard to provide for us and there was a
lack of everything.

The porridge did however make me feel sick to my
stomach. I was nauseous and afraid I might throw up. I drew in some deep
breaths to try and keep calm. It was all spinning in my head. The stories my
mother had just told me, my brother’s voices, their laughter and their many
thoughts that I couldn’t stop hearing. The pictures from last night soon took
over in my head. I pictured myself running through the forest, then I heard the
sound of my brothers firing the rifle in my head, followed by the pain when I
was hit. I did remember, didn’t I? Or was I just imagining things because I
assumed that was what had happened? If I concentrated I could still taste the
salty meat I had eaten before my brothers got to me.

I shook my head slowly while glaring out the window.
It was snowing again. The sky was gray and heavy. I felt tears pressing behind
my eyes. What was happening to me? What was to become of me? What was my future
going to look like? I was afraid I was about to go insane. Something was very
wrong, I thought. But worst of all I couldn’t bear the thought that I was about
to turn evil like the people in my mother’s stories.

Would I eventually be a danger to my own family?

 
I
LOCKED THE DOOR
to my room by key the following night.
Then I grabbed a rope and tied myself to my bed. If what I was becoming at
night was in fact evil, then I wanted to do anything I could to prevent it from
hurting anyone. It was my responsibility, I thought. I was scared watching the
sun go down behind the trees of the forest. I closed my eyes while sensing the
hairs growing out on my hands, legs, chest and back. Even in my face I felt the
sensation from the hairs growing out. Then the pain followed. I screamed in
agony just before everything once again went black.

When I woke up I sensed someone was next to me. I
opened my eyes and realized I wasn’t in the forest this time. I was lying on
the ground outside a house, an old farm. I gasped and looked around me. Then I
froze. Not far from me I spotted the bodies of two people. Or what was left of
them. Two men in green uniforms were on the ground. I walked closer, then
gasped again when I realized they were dead, their bodies almost ripped apart.
Parts of them were bitten and eaten. There was blood all over the ground. I got
up and backed away, when I stepped on something and almost fell to the ground.
I looked down. The body of a woman was on the ground as well. I stumbled
backwards away from her in utter terror. Her eyes were open and empty. They
were staring at me but there was no life behind them. She was dead. She had
been shot in the head by the soldiers. I could tell because she had a gunshot
wound in her forehead, but something else about her drew my attention. Her leg
was bitten, I saw huge teeth marks on them. I looked down my own body and
realized I was covered in blood. But it wasn’t my own blood. It was theirs. I
was panting heavily as I tried to get away, stumbling over the bodies, falling
to the ground in the snow. I was freezing, shaking when I started running as
fast as I could towards the forest.