I am Wolf (The Wolfboy Chronicles) (7 page)

Had I done this to these people? Had I killed them? I
couldn’t have. I wasn’t a killer. A fear rose inside of me. If I could kill
humans, if I could take the lives of people in cold blood like that, then what
could I have done to my own family?

Desperately I ran through the forest towards the
castle. I found my mother in the kitchen. She heard me enter and turned and
stared at me with a gasp.

“Sami!” she exclaimed startled, almost frightened.
“You’re covered in blood. What happened to you?”

Relived that she was alright I shook my head and ran
to hold her in my arms. She felt so small, so fragile, like I could squeeze
life out of her with my bare arms. I smelled her hair and kissed her cheek.

“I love you, Mother,” I said.

She held my face between her hands and looked into my
eyes. “What’s the matter, Sami?”

I shook my head heavily. “It’s best I never tell you,”
I said with tears piling up in my eyes.

“Whatever it is, we’ll get through this. Together as a
family,” she said. “You hear me? We will help you in any way we can.”

“Thank you, Mother. But this you can’t fix. This I
have to take care of on my own.”

She stared into my eyes and I sensed she felt my
anguish, she saw my deep pain. I listened in on her thoughts and realized she
knew what I was about to do even before I had made the final decision. She knew
me better than I knew myself. Then she let go of my face. She turned her back
to me and went towards a cupboard. She pulled a small bag out and handed it to
me.

“At least let me help you a little on the way.”

I took the bag then kissed her gently on the cheek. I
ran upstairs to my chambers. In the room my clothes were on the floor, the rope
I had tied myself up with was ripped to pieces and the window open. I looked
down at the ground below. There were paw-prints in the snow. Had I jumped into
the snow from this height without even hurting myself? How was that possible?
Was my desire to kill so big that I would risk my own life? I had never met an
animal that was able to jump from a high tower like this and not hurt itself.

Quickly I packed a sack with some clothing and the bag
with money my mother had given me. I washed my body and got dressed. With a
profound sigh I grabbed my sack and put on a hat. This was it, I thought and
glanced one last time at my childhood room not knowing if I would ever return.

Before I left I glanced into the kitchen once last
time and watched my mother cooking. There was no time to say goodbye to
everyone, or to explain. How could I explain this to them when I didn’t have
any answers myself? I hoped they would somehow understand. I hoped she would at
least understand, why I couldn’t stay. It was too dangerous for them. I was too
dangerous. Last night it was three strangers, but what would I do the day I encountered
a family member on my way out? I hardly remembered anything from my nights as a
beast. Would I know that it was someone I loved? Would I spare their lives? The
woman in my mother’s story certainly didn’t spare anyone. I didn’t dare take
the risk. I had to live with whatever I had become. I had to stay away from
anyone I loved as long as this was going on, as long as I couldn’t control it.

I sighed deeply, feeling so lonely when I looked at my
mother one last time. She paused and froze for a second like she sensed I was
there looking at her.

“I love you, Mother,” I whispered just before I walked
out the front door and closed it behind me carefully to not make a sound. I was
certain I heard my mother’s gentle voice whisper in the icy wind as I began walking.

“I love you too, Sami.”

Not knowing where to go I jumped a freight train and let it take me
north as far as I could before sunset, then I got off and found a village in
Transylvania. It was a small village outside of the city of Cluj-Napoca, the second
most populated city in Romania. It was located next to the famous forest of
Hoia-Baciu commonly believed by the locals to be a gate between worlds.

I knocked on the door to the first house I came
across. It belonged to an elderly woman. I asked for shelter and showed her I
had money to pay for it. She told me she could use a little help in the house,
since her husband had been killed a few months ago. She told me I could work
for rent and food fixing things around the house and taking care of the animals
for a week or two. I didn’t tell her who I was nor did I let her know I was
Jewish. I told her to call me Sam and she accepted that. Her name was Camelia.

“Running, are we?” she asked when she showed me inside
the stable behind the house. The horses whinnied when they saw me, but I calmed
them down by talking to them and touching them gently like I used to with my
mare.

“Good with animals, I see?” Camelia said.

“They say I have a calming touch,” I replied.

“Good,” she said nodding. “Very good.”

A bed was put up in one of the booths. Straw was all
over the floor. It was perfect, I thought. Perfect for a beast like me.

“We have had several young men like you traveling
through our town trying to get away from the war,” she continued. “You’ll be
safe here. We don’t see many green soldiers around here. “

“I’m happy to hear that,” I said smiling.

Once she left the stables I sat on the straw-bed. It
was hard as a rock, but it didn’t matter since I figured I wasn’t going to
sleep much on it anyway. I rose again and stared out a small window close to
the ceiling. A huge forest rose in the distance. I prepared myself for the
night. I took off my clothes to make sure I wouldn’t rip them. Then I sat on
the bed in silence while darkness fell over the village and the small stable. I
cried when I felt the pain begin in my skin. Not because it hurt, no because I
knew this was my life now, this solitude was my only friend. I was scared.
Afraid of what I would do this night. Afraid of my own evil nature.

A wave of excruciating pain rolled over me just before
the blackness overwhelmed me. The last thing I heard were the horses neighing.

 
“N
O!”
I YELLED WHEN
I regained
consciousness. I was sweating and shivering at the same time. It was dark.
Pitch black. I was inside a house, sitting up against a stone wall. I felt
anxious, afraid. My heart was racing in panic. I heard a door open. I spotted a
figure in the darkness. I wasn’t alone. Someone was in the room with me. Where
was I? Had I killed again? Who was there with me? I didn’t dare to speak.

The lights went on from a small light bulb under the
ceiling and I covered my eyes to spare them the bright light. Finally my eyes
became used to it and I looked at who was in front of me. Camelia was looking
back at me. She kneeled on the floor. She had covered my body with a blanket.
My leg was bleeding. I felt it and wiped the blood away. It didn’t hurt.
Camelia kneeled in front of me. She began washing my leg with a wet cloth.

“I knew it when I first looked into your eyes,” she
mumbled. “I saw the beast in those eyes.”

As she wiped the wound on my leg it slowly healed. The
skin closed up and soon the wound was completely gone. The old woman lifted her
eyes and gazed at me with astonishment.

“I saw you leave last night. Caused a lot of turmoil
among the horses. I peeked out the window and saw you run. This morning I found
you outside in the courtyard,” she said. “You were hurt, badly so I took you
inside the basement where no one could see you. I figured you had been in a
fight. That someone was after you. You were bleeding from that wound. But now
...”

“What did you see in my eyes?” I asked and grabbed her
arm. “You know what I am, don’t you?”

She rose to her feet. I got up and stood next to her.
“You need to tell me. You need to help me find out what I am.”

Camelia shook her head slowly. Then she exhaled
deeply. “I have seen that look in a man’s eyes before. The hunger for the kill,
the thirst for blood,” she said. “But it was many years ago.”

“Who? Who had the same look in their eyes?”

Camelia exhaled deeply. “He was a traveler. Many years
ago. Before the first war. He came here and spent a night in the stables, like
you. I remembered the look in his eyes when he looked at me and my husband. He
wanted to kill us both. I was certain of it. George, my husband, thought I was
just crazy. He liked helping people, he liked taking in travelers and hear
stories and news from Bucharest. But this one, this man wasn’t here to tell
stories or even sleep. He was here to kill us. I saw it in his eyes. He was
craving our blood. When nightfall came I lay awake and listened to him scream
and howl from the stables. I locked all the doors and looked out in the back at
the full moon. That was when I saw him. The horses acted crazy just like last
night. They were whining and neighing. They sense evil, you know. They sense
danger. I saw him running out of the stables. Dressed as a big gray wolf,
howling at the moon. He was walking at his back legs like a human and he was
even bigger than when he was a human. He had huge muscular arms and legs and
long hair on his back and neck. Long fangs were sticking out from his mouth,
his big claws were ready to rip us all to pieces. Then he began running on all
four legs towards the forest and like the wind he was gone. I woke up my
husband and we went to the stables to see if the man was there, but he was
gone. He had turned into the wolf, I explained to George. I don’t know if he
ever believed me, but just like me he knew something was wrong. We ran back and
locked all the doors. George slept sitting on a chair with his rifle. I didn’t
sleep at all. I listened to the sounds coming from the forest and mountains
surrounding our village. Sounds of evil lurking around, killing, spreading fear
among the creatures of the forest.”

“So what happened to the man who turned into the wolf?
Did he come back?” I asked.

“Strangely enough he never did.” She paused and looked
at me. “I never saw him again. As a matter of fact, I still have some of his
belongings out in the stables. For several weeks I expected him to come back to
get his things, but he never did.”

“But if you were scared of this man, why did you take
me in? If you recognized the beast in my eyes like you had in his?” I asked.

“I don’t know. Something about your eyes is different.
You have the eyes of the beast, but ... but you also have the eyes of a young,
innocent boy. I guess that’s what I liked about you.” Camelia stared at me,
then exhaled deeply. “But you must understand that I can’t have you here any longer.
Lord only knows where you have been all night and who you have hurt. I really
don’t want to think bad about you, so please leave my property before I know
what has happened, before I find out why you were bleeding from your leg.”

I sighed. I wanted to leave in order to not hurt her,
but I was glad to have been able to finally talk to somebody about this. To
share my secret with someone. Even if I still didn’t understand much.

Camelia walked with me out to the stables where I
gathered my things. Then she picked up a small sack from a basket on the floor.
It was covered in straw. She wiped them away and blew dust in the air before
she handed me the sack. “Here you take it. I don’t want his things anymore.
You’ll have better use of it, I think.”

I took the sack and nodded. “Thank you,” I said. I
reached through the bars and touched the horses. Quietly I whispered goodbye.

The old woman smiled and handed me some bread. She
studied me as I talked calmly to the horses.

“Well,” she said. “I guess you are a good boy after
all. If the horses see it then so should I. Now get out of here.”

I left the house and started walking through the village, but didn’t
make it far down the road before something caught my attention. A turmoil of
some kind, almost like an uprising. People were gathering at the town square by
the fountain in front of the small white church. They were talking with loud
voices, some were even yelling. I felt a pinch in my stomach as I walked
closer. A Catholic priest was trying to calm the people down. I swallowed hard
fearing this turmoil had something to do with me. As I walked closer I realized
to my horror that I was right. On the stairs to the church I spotted a body. It
seemed to be the body of an elderly man. I walked closer and gasped when I
looked at his face and chest. They were ripped with what looked like claws. He
had been bitten as well. People surrounding it had terrified looks. Women were
crying, some screaming in fear, men were yelling at the priest telling him to
cast out this curse that had come upon their village.