How to Love (36 page)

“Jules.” Mike had to speak. “You didn’t come between us.”

“Yes I did.” She gazed back at him, eyes full of agony. “You two were fighting about me.”

“Yes, but not how you think,” Carlos said. “We were both being stupid idiots. I didn’t trust Mike and I’m not sure if he trusted me.” He glanced at Mike. “Yeah, we’re a team. But we don’t always agree. In fact we had some pretty damn heated arguments when we first got together. But it didn’t take me long to recognize Mike’s influence on me was a positive thing. And I like to think I’ve been good for him too, encouraging him to step out of his comfort zone, to take some risks. Things like rock climbing and high ropes. And having a…unique relationship.”

“Yeah,” Mike said quietly. “You have.” He looked back at Jules. “We still have disagreements. We both knew what we wanted, right from the start, Jules. What we disagreed about was how to go about it. I like to plan things out. Carlos likes to jump in. I swear we never meant to deceive you or hurt you. And I know we wanted more from you than you’re comfortable with. And I apologize if we pushed too hard, or too fast, or if we scared you. That wasn’t supposed to happen.”

“You did scare me.” But she smiled. “I’m still scared.”

Mike sent Carlos a sidelong glance.

“But I’m trying to be brave,” she continued, lifting her chin. “I learned that from you.”

“Huh?”

She nodded, looking down at her hands again, then back up. “I learned about being brave from you. And about taking risks. And about being…naked.”

Mike choked a little, but smiled. “Naked?”

Carlos too gave a chuckle.

“Literally naked. You were brave enough to take off your clothes and expose your body to me and my camera. And the whole world. That is freakin’ brave.” She smiled. “But also figuratively. Exposing yourselves, your real selves, your feelings. Jeez, Mike, you told me you love me. That’s the scariest thing in the world to do, I think.”

Mike closed his eyes, his chest going hot and soft. “It can be.”

“And Carlos—climbing those cliffs. Holy hell, that terrified me, and you do it like it’s nothing. That’s brave too. When you made me do that, though, you made me feel so powerful, like I could do anything. I had to remember that when I went to see my dad. That I’m strong enough and brave enough. And same when I came here to see you. Because…I’m really, really scared, you guys.”

“We’re all scared, Jules,” Carlos said, leaning forward. “Love is scary. But it’s love that makes us strong.”

Her eyes squeezed shut and she covered her mouth and nose with her hands. “Oh God.”

Mike let the hopeful bubble expand inside him. Was she there because she cared? Jesus, was it really possible?

Chapter Twenty-Four

Jules rolled her lips in and sucked in air through her nose. She could do this, she could do this
.
But what if they told her they didn’t care anymore? What if Mike had been right yesterday when he said it didn’t matter? Now he and Carlos were back together, maybe she should step aside. Maybe that was the right thing to do.

But they’d said they wanted her. They both had. They both cared. They had to.

She opened her eyes and looked at them, first at Mike, his gaze steady and clear, then at Carlos, his dark eyes warm and deep.

“I might mess things up,” she whispered.

“C’mere, Jules.” Mike held out his hand.

She stared at it for a long moment, trying to make her legs work, and then she stood and moved toward them, pulled by something powerful, feeling like she was floating.

“I think the paint fumes are making me drunk,” she said. “Or maybe that’s still all the tequila I drank last night.”

Mike groaned. “Don’t remind me of last night.”

“I’m sorry. You don’t want to hear about it, but I need to tell you. I was hurting but I wouldn’t admit it to myself. I’d screwed up everything, having you two in my life, and you two having each other. I thought I could have some fun, have that closeness with a man. I thought I could use him to forget about you guys, so I flirted a little with him. He wanted to take me home with him, but that was when I realized I couldn’t do it. I didn’t want him. I only wanted you. Both of you.”

There. She’d said it.

They both shifted a little to face her, sitting between them on the couch, their warmth and strength seeping into her chilled body.

“What are you saying, Jules?” Mike asked. “Are you saying you’re willing to be in a real relationship with us?”

She met his eyes, took a deep breath and nodded. Then she looked at Carlos. He smiled and laid a hand on her leg. Her heart expanded inside her chest, stealing her breath. He nodded.

“You know what that means, though, right?” Mike said.

She gazed back at him.

“It means honesty,” he said. “It means opening yourself up and telling us how you’re feeling. It means not using sex to distract us from talking about how you’re feeling. Letting us really know you.”

“I know.” Her voice came out small. “I do know that. That’s the scary part, right? Because I guess I’ve always been afraid that if you know the real me…you won’t really love me.”

“Fuck,” Mike groaned. He slid an arm behind her shoulders and gave her a little squeeze. “We’re not your father, Jules. We probably know more about you than anyone else, and that’s why we love you.”

Her eyes burned and her throat swelled. “Thank you.”

He laughed and pressed his face to the top of her head. “Don’t thank us. Just be with us. Always.”

She leaned back a little to see his face. “I love you too.” She turned to Carlos. “And you, Carlos. I love you both.”

She watched Carlos’s face, the flicker of his eyes, the subtle movement of his mouth, his throat as he swallowed. He slid an arm around her waist, then reached across her to clasp Mike’s arm, and the three of them sat there in a circle. Then she looked at Mike again, saw the same emotions glimmering in his eyes, lifting the corners of his mouth.

“Hey, I almost forgot to tell you,” she whispered. “I have some good news.”

“Oh yeah?” Mike said.

She told them about the offer from Jackson Cole.

“Wow,” Carlos said. “That’s a big company.”

“I know! I’ve looked at some of their past campaigns. They said this is going to be bigger. It’s pretty crazy.”

“That’s fantastic, Jules,” Mike said. “Congratulations. You totally deserve it. You have an amazing talent.”

“Thank you.” She smiled at him, then Carlos.

Carlos leaned in and kissed her mouth. “Congratulations, doll.”

She kissed him back, a soft, sweet kiss that quickly turned hot, his mouth opening on hers, his tongue licking over her bottom lip. Her pulse leapt and heat slid through her veins. When he drew back, Mike’s hand on her cheek gently turned her toward him and they kissed too, harder, deeper. Desire built inside her, hot and aching low in her belly. She laid her palm on Mike’s stubbled cheek and nipped at his bottom lip. When they drew apart she gazed into his eyes, her breath coming in uneven spurts.

“Oh man,” he groaned. “Jules.”

Carlos’s hands held her hips and he nuzzled her neck from behind. She closed her eyes as pleasure shimmered over her. She wanted them, both of them, so bad. “Would it be bad if I asked you two to take me to bed?”

Mike grinned. “Oh baby, that is
so
bad. You might need to be spanked.”

Heat flared inside her, remembering the first time he’d done that. She looked up at him through her eyelashes. “Oh no,” she said in a breathy voice.

He laughed and rose off the couch. “Come on.”

She almost giggled at how fast they hustled her down the hall and into Mike’s bedroom.

This was where she wanted to be, pressed between their bodies, Carlos now in front of her, Mike behind her. Carlos reached for the button of her jeans while Mike lifted her tank top over her head. He kissed her shoulder and her back, unfastened her bra and slid the straps down over her arms, his fingers leaving a trail of tingles in their wake as Carlos bent to drag her jeans and panties off. Joy bubbled inside her along with the heat.

Their hands caressed her bare skin, her waist and hips, her arms and shoulders. Carlos kissed her mouth, her cheek, her jaw, while Mike dragged his tongue up the side of her neck. She shivered and sensation raced over her body, her nerve endings sensitized, that hot ache building inside her.

Mike’s hands slid around her to find her breasts, cupping them, rubbing his thumbs over her nipples. They hardened into taut peaks and her breasts swelled into his hands as her head fell back onto his shoulder.

“Sweet,” he murmured in her ear. “I missed you so much this week, Jules.” He lifted his head. “And you too Carlos.”

Emotion rose up inside her, swelling in her throat, as Carlos leaned in to kiss Mike. She watched their mouths meet, so close to her face, and tears stung the corners of her eyes. Thank God, thank God they were still together. When their mouths parted, they both looked at her and she gave them a shaky smile. “I missed you too,” she whispered.

They moved in and Mike kissed one corner of her mouth, Carlos the other, their three mouths joined, and then Mike’s hand slid down over her stomach and between her legs to cup her aching pussy. She moaned.

“Both of us,” Mike said, his voice rasping in the back of his throat. “Both of us at the same time.”

Her stomach swooped, knowing what he meant. They’d done many things in bed, and other places, the last few weeks, but they’d never fucked her at the same time. Double penetration. She wanted it, wanted that with a visceral hunger that burned inside her.
 

“Yes,” she whispered. Her insides tightened more at the thought of having both of them inside her. Her desire multiplied, growing and swirling with insistent need.

The guys stripped their clothes off while she watched, and she smiled again as Mike slung his arm around Carlos’s neck and kissed him hard. Then they turned to her. She took a step back, then another one, and then the edge of Mike’s bed hit her legs and she sat just as they reached for her.

She’d seen their naked bodies countless times before but still couldn’t get enough, loving the ripple of strong muscle under deeply tanned skin, the flex of powerful thighs, the jut of their cocks, both enormous with need. More happiness surged inside her as together they lifted her, laid her on the bed and slid down beside her. Mike’s hand rested on her tummy as he kissed her mouth, licking inside with hot urgency. Carlos tugged at one nipple with his fingertips, sending a streamer of sensation to her womb.

She sensed their impatience, the pressing need inside them, but they took their time, stroking her body, kissing her, sucking on her nipples. When they each took a sensitive nipple in their mouths at the same time she thought she might die from the pleasure that vibrated through her. Her hips lifted and Carlos’s hand slid down to hold her pussy, so warm, so gentle. She pulsed against his palm, aching there.

She held their heads, her finger threading through Mike’s longer hair, brushing over Carlos’s short cut. Soft needy sounds escaped her mouth as tension built inside her, coiling into a hot knot of need.

“So beautiful,” Carlos murmured against her skin. “Your breasts. Your pussy.” His fingers moved between her legs. “So wet.”

She moaned her agreement, and they licked and sucked at her breasts more, until almost unbearable pleasure and desire took over her body. Then Mike shifted against her, kissed his way down her tummy and nuzzled the curls at the apex of her thighs. Carlos pulled one thigh to open her to Mike, and then Mike knelt between her legs and lifted them, his breath teasing her sensitive flesh. He gave the gentlest lick over her swollen folds, made an appreciative noise in the back of his throat.

She groaned again, and Carlos kissed her mouth, turning her face toward him, his tongue sweeping over hers, warm and strong in her mouth. She savored the taste of him, the feel of him, let all the multiple sensations rocket through her body from their hands and their mouths on her.

Mike licked deeper, parting her flesh, dipping his tongue into her opening, swirling it around and around her clit until she thought she was going to explode with the wanting, the feverish need. Her hips lifted against his face.

“Not yet, baby,” he whispered, pushing a finger inside her. She tightened on it reflexively. “Oh yeah, love that.” He kissed her clit, a soft, closed-mouth kiss, then rose up between her legs. “Need that lube,” he muttered, and Carlos reached over to the bedside table where they kept the bottle. He tossed it to Mike, who caught it. “And condoms.”

Carlos made a noise as if he didn’t like that idea, but pulled them out as well and they each donned one. Jules didn’t like that idea either. She wanted to feel them bare inside her, both at the same time. More heat washed down through her body. Some day, if they were going to be a threesome, some day soon, they would talk about getting rid of the condoms.

“Carlos is on the bottom,” Mike said to Jules.

She bit her lip and nodded, a little dazed with lust and love. She didn’t know how to do this, but they did, and she knew they would take care of her.

Carlos stretched out on the bed and opened his arms. “C’mere, doll,” he murmured. She moved over him, into his arms, his cock thick and hard between them. He slid a hand down to adjust himself, and she lifted her hips a little to help. He found her entrance and she held her breath as he pushed inside her, stretching her, filling her with a delicious pressure.