Here & Now (6 page)

“Not nearly as much as I do you.” She grins. “A limo, really?”

“Only the best for you.”

“You didn’t have to—”

“I know, but now that I’ve done it, can we just enjoy the ride to the restaurant? It will be kind of nice to be able to sit with my girlfriend in a spacious backseat without having to worry about keeping my eyes on the road.”

The way her face lifts, her grin turning from sweet to mischievous, tells me everything I need to know. I was right earlier. Cadence wants this as badly as I do and I’m determined to make that particular want come true.

It’s time to get on with this date and by the end of the night, create a fairytale worthy enough for both of us to remember.

Holding out my arm, I wait patiently until she slips hers through it and with a wave back to Sarah, who appears leaning on the door, I walk my princess down the steps, all the while amazed that I’m even standing here doing this right.

This is definitely not a play in the Dillon Murphy playbook. I have no idea what the hell I’m doing, but what I do know is that what I am doing is one hundred percent right.

“Milady. Your chariot awaits.” I say the minute we’re at the back door of the limo, the driver staying firmly planted in his seat at my request so that I can enjoy every part of what comes next.

“Well, thank you kind sir.” She replies sweetly before sliding past the now open door and into the waiting car, with me quickly on her heels.

The way she leans into me the minute I’m in and the door is shut gives me everything I need. Any nervousness I had before Sarah came out and talked to me is gone and all I can see now as we peel slowly away from the curb is what comes next.

An entire night alone with the girl of my dreams.

Cadence

He thought of everything.

From the second I stepped into the limo with Dillon it’s been just one surprise after another, none of which I went into this expecting.

When your boyfriend tells you he wants you to dress up so he can take you to dinner and leaves it at just dinner, even if there’s this hope in the back of your mind for more, you don’t assume anything and just prepare for dinner. I should have known after being with him as long as I have that Dillon does things differently.

It started with the limo and the five bouquets of flowers laid out on the seat across from us. Each bouquet holding a different group of flowers. There were the roses of various shapes and sizes, some bloomed and others not, lilies, tulips, carnations and the final one, my personal favorite, daisies.

A kaleidoscope of color surrounding the dark interior of the car, and adding just the right level of heart melting to what was already there.

When we finally reached the restaurant, the flower giving continued as we were shown to our table. Sitting in a vase directly in the middle of the small round table was another bouquet of daisies and once he had pulled out my chair and I was seated, he wasted no time plucking one from the bunch and moving around to string it through my hair.

I wasn’t sure how I was going to handle all of this, still thinking when we left that it was more than a little over the top, but now that I’m here, it’s hard not to follow my mom’s words from before. This won’t be something I expect or need Dillon to do more than this one time, but there’s no doubt that I’m going to enjoy it.

At least I will if I can ignore the way the other people’s eyes seem to all be staring at me.

It’s become so obvious that after about fifteen minutes of pretending to look at a menu even though I’ve chosen what I want, I can’t handle it anymore and I finally speak up, which only makes the nervousness I feel even worse.

Speaking in front of Dillon is easy. Speaking in a room full of people, not so much.

“Do they have to be so obvious?”

He looks up from his menu and with a quick look to me, he runs a scan around the room until his gaze is back on me and there’s a smile on his face.

“Why do you think they’re looking at you?”

“Because I’m different. I stand out.”

“You definitely stand out,” he grins mischievously. “But not for the reason you think.”

“Are you gonna explain what you mean?”

Just as he’s about to explain, I raise my hand and cut him off. “And can you also explain what that smile is about?”

“I figured the reason for my smile was pretty obvious, but okay. Since they both have the same answer, this is easy.”

I’m glad one of us understands it because right now I can feel another pair of eyes boring into my back and with how awkward it makes me feel, I’m starting to think it’s putting the awkwardness over being dressed up and in a limo to shame.

“They’re staring at you for the same reason I’m smiling at you, Caddy. It’s because you’re breathtaking. All of these people,” he says, motioning around the room attempting to make his point. “They’re all as stunned as I was when I saw you earlier.”

Now I know he’s just being sweet. There’s no way he can be right about this. I’ll admit, the way the dress fits so perfectly and how soft it feels when it does brush up against my skin, I feel pretty, which a lot of times I don’t, but to have an entire restaurant full of people thinking the same thing? That’s just crazy.

Dillon is crazy.

Before I can respond, tell him how wrong he is but also thank him for trying to make me feel better, the waiter makes his appearance, first by putting two full glasses of water down in front of us and then following it up by asking if we’re ready to order.

“Are you ready?” Dillon asks, his voice quiet, his eyes never once leaving mine and my own gaze unable to break away from the way his lips move, something that even with all the time that’s passed never gets old.

Nodding, he slips the open menu out of my hand and seeing the page I stayed on, turns to the waiter and proves again why I’m so glad he’s the one I fell in love with. He orders for me and then for himself.

There are times when I’ve spoken aloud where people haven’t judged, but when put next to the amount of times they have, it still makes it hard for me to take a chance. People can say I’m tough all they want, but in a lot of ways, that toughness is only skin deep. It doesn’t go all the way through.

This is definitely one of those times.

“So where were we?” he asks before grinning again. “Oh yeah! I was telling my breathtaking girlfriend how amazing she looks.”

Blushing what I’m sure is ten different shades of red, I lower my head and that’s when I feel the table shake, as his body leans across it and his hand comes out over mine, comfortably squeezing it before slipping it back and quietly signing.

Thank you for doing this. I know how hard it is for you.

It isn’t as hard as I thought, I just don’t like the staring.

When my head lifts again, he reaches out to stroke my face before resting his hand on top of mine.

“They’re staring because they’re seeing what I see. What I’ve always seen from the first day you flicked me in class.”

What’s that?

“You’re sexy, Caddy. Like heart stopping, body melting sexy. Even a blind person would see it.”

I definitely don’t agree with him about the blind thing, but I understand the point he’s trying to make. He wants me to see myself the way he does, but just like it never works when it’s in reverse and I think the same about him, it’s not working now. I think it’s supposed to be that way.

We’re never going to truly understand what someone else sees because we aren’t them, but when Dillon looks at me, his eyes all soft even in the low lighting of the restaurant, I get to experience it as close as I ever will.

Dillon really does believe I’m beautiful and when I’m with him, it’s hard not to feel the same.

“Will you do something for me?”

I might be willing to negotiate something.

“Funny.”

What do you want me to do?

I could easily speak the words, but with the feeling of eyes still on me, my lips remain firmly clamped shut and I just let my hands and my eyes do the talking that I can’t.

“Dance with me?”

There’s one thing I know about Dillon. He loathes dancing. I questioned him about it once because he let it slip how much he hated it and I wanted to know why. With the way he has to hustle on the field, what he’s told me about his position, I would have thought his response would be different. Seems to me dancing comes easily to him, so hating it makes no sense.

Since when do you dance?

“Since I got here and noticed a wide open dance floor over there.” He points and as my eyes follow, I see two lone couples moving back and forth to what I can only assume is a slow song. “And my girlfriend came out her front door looking like she walked out of a fairytale.”

Can I do this? I love to dance even though I can’t hear the music, and the way Dillon held me at the prom, even though he was injured at the time, it’s made me long for a do-over, but the way it happens in my mind, it’s always private. There is nothing private about this at all.

Okay.

Slipping his hand off mine long enough to slide himself out and away from the table, he comes around until he’s standing directly behind me, and placing a small tender kiss at the baseline of my neck, he slides the chair out and comes around, extending his hand to me.

With my hand securely locked in his, he guides me around the tables until we come out the dance floor he had pointed out seconds before, and wrapping my arms around him, he brings me in as close as possible, his chest inhaling the second his nose makes contact with my hair and looking up, I catch him as he exhales, the smile on his face content.

He begins to move with me and I wonder with each move our bodies make together exactly what song is playing for him to react this way. The earlier focus I had on the people around me, it fades the more we move, the closer I allow myself into his body and with my senses on high alert, I just allow myself to take in the way he smells, the way he feels and the idea that maybe when the surgery is done, we can come back here and do this again.

Spinning me out and away from him, his feet, which I hadn’t been focused on before, change their pace and I know what’s going on. This is why I love dancing. When you’re with the right partner, you never have to hear the music to know when things change. They’ll let you know and that’s what he’s doing now.

Yes, we definitely have to do this again.

Pulling me back in close, he dips his head down to mine, our eyes trained on each other, mine only breaking away the second I catch his lips parting to speak.

“How do you feel about being dipped?”

“When did you become Fred Astaire?” I whisper, and again I’m warmed by the sight of his familiar grin.

“The day I laid eyes on my Ginger.”

Before I can come up with a response, I’m being spun around and just as quickly as it happens he’s catching me and I can feel myself being dipped backwards, his strong arms on my back, holding me in place, and it’s only when I look up and really take him in that I catch on to what he’s going to do next.

Leaning down until his lips are a breath away from mine, he kisses me and in the moment where my heart goes from beating out of its chest because of the dancing, to the second it stilled to a low crawl, it hits me.

I’m never going to love someone more than I do Dillon Murphy.

Dillon

Dancing to me is like wearing a suit. I’ll do it because it’s gotta be done, but I’m hightailing it out of there once it’s over. I’ve just never been a fan, which considering the fancy footwork I need to have when I’m on the field, is actually kind of hilarious.

I remember Coach telling us junior year that we should sign up for a dance class so we could learn how to move more fluidly as a unit and it’s not a half bad idea.  None of us ever did it because I’m pretty sure we didn’t want to be looked at like a bunch of pansy girls, but looking back, it couldn’t have hurt any.

When I danced with Belle at homecoming, a lot of that had to do with the plan, but there was also a part of me that wanted to get my hands around her. Stupid I know, but I wasn’t exactly thinking with the right parts of my brain back then. All I knew that night was she looked fucking amazing and dancing with her would drive Kayden mad, so I did it.

Hated the dancing, liked the way it felt holding someone, even if at the time I was still faking shit and swallowing down what I should have realized years ago.

It’s different with Cadence. When I danced with her at prom, I actually had these moments where I felt like shit because my legs were so screwed up from the fight and it felt like I was letting her down.  I wanted to dance with her, swing her around and dip her, but my body wasn’t having any part of it.

So tonight, that’s what the dancing is about. Having what I felt with Belle originally, but with the one person that deserves it more than anything. I wanted to have my hands around my girlfriend, moving to the music with her, feeling her pressed tightly into me. Doing all of the things I wanted to do on prom night but couldn’t.

I like to dance, just not for anyone else.

Only Cadence.

Spinning her around until I could dip her and deliberately kissing her, I didn’t expect to enjoy that as much as I did. The way her lips were pouted as I held her leaning backwards, they were just so damn kissable and I didn’t want to waste time debating what anyone around me might think. I just did it. No thought, no debating, just my lips pressed to hers the way I always want them to be.

Whenever we’re kissing, we’re connecting. It sounds cheesy, but it’s true. She’s breathing new life into me every single time we kiss and with the way she looks tonight, the way she took my breath away at her door, I definitely need the extra air.

Eyes are on us. They’ve been on us the entire time we’ve been dancing. None of them can see that she’s deaf, so what she believes, the way she thinks they can just inherently tell that there’s something off about her and are gawking, it’s wrong. They’re on us because when we’re together, how in love we are, how easily we move, almost like we’re one distinct unit instead of two very separate people, it’s infectious. Addicting. The kind of thing you see and can’t look away from.

Kayden and Belle have it and for the last year, so have we.

Leading her off the dance floor, catching the two couples out there with us smiling, one of them even clapping as our backs turn and we make our way back to the table, it solidifies my belief. They see me dressed the way I am, see her and all of the beauty she holds, the grace she walks with and part of me thinks they’re being transported back to a different time.

One where they were young and in love and the world was at their fingertips. I’m sure if Caddy caught even a little of what I did when we walked away, she’d be thinking the same thing.