Heart Two Heart (14 page)

It pleased me that Ulric loved me enough to
want revenge and return my dignity. I too however I needed to do my
part. It was up to me to get rid of it. Somehow before he returned
home I needed to make sure that I killed it. I just knew in my
heart that Ulric would never come back to me as long as the damn
thing lived.

That’s why I declined having any medical
procedures that involved chupacabra blood. I simply could not take
the chance that it would make it invincible. I however never say
that out loud to anyone anymore. I learned my lesson. I told Waylon
the truth and he looked like his head was going to explode. He was
indignant and suggested that the trauma has left me confused. That
all children are born of god no matter how they were conceived blah
blah blah. I think he’s nuts and I am right but I don’t say it
anymore. As a result I now have to see a therapist on a daily basis
on top of the new medications they force me to take to keep me
calm.

Now, when they come in and talk about medical
procedures I just flat out refuse. I give them no reason and agree
to nothing. In truth I am looking forward to going through the
procedure and possibly getting a new eye and leg but I will wait
until the beast is no longer in my body. Ulric’s coyote has agreed
with me. He’s even made Ulric tell them that all risky procedures
can wait until it’s been born. Waylon’s continued to speak and I
could tell that he words were making Kealoha uncomfortable. I
forced myself to focus on his words. If they were making Kealoha
happy perhaps it was something important that I needed to hear.

“So with Ulric off on business I thought this
would be a great time to get some of the more important procedures
done. We'll start tonight with the baths. With any luck by the time
he returns you will have a new leg and a new eye.”

What? Did he just basically tell me I no
longer have a choice? That if Ulric isn’t here to stop them they
are going to do their experiments on me anyway? Bull. I would show
them. They already think I’m nuts I’ll just play up the crazy. With
that in mind I allowed myself to remember the things the men did to
me. The way they used my body and the pain each and every one of
them caused me.

“You are going to force me just like them?
You are taking my choices away. Am I no longer worthy or capable of
choosing for myself? How are you any better than the men that raped
me repeatedly over and over again? Why do you get to choose what’s
right for me? They thought they were doing the right thing too? Who
made the two of you god? Where’s Jessie? Where’s Gaho or Pau? Do
they know how you plan to take my rights away? This is wrong and
you know it!”

Then I allowed myself to cry the tears that
I’d been holding back. I screamed like the devil himself was in the
room with me. I shouted like the end of the world was upon us. And
I flung my body from side to side like I was possessed by a demon.
When I expended all the energy I’d shifted into my fox and started
all over again.

During my outburst Gaho and Pau bust into the
room. They were all screaming questions and trying to calm me down
at the same time. I knew the moment Kealoha and Waylon realised
they should never have told me they were going to force me. I could
see the defeat in Kealoha’s eyes. Waylon too looked contrite and
ashamed. Just as it looked like one or both of them might have
tried manipulate me mentally my therapist Jessie walked into the
room. I used that to start all over again. I shifted back into my
human form now naked and covered in sweat and blood from the
painful shift and started to carry on all over again. I wanted to
make the biggest scene I could to make sure they never considered
forcing me again.

My therapist Jessie sealed the deal. She told
them they had single handedly undone all the good she’d managed to
accomplish in the past several weeks. Then she pointed out the
obvious that I will in no real pain and that the loss of my eye and
leg were not life and death. Under no circumstances was it
acceptable to force someone to undergo treatment that was
experimental and possibly dangerous to my unborn fetus. That did
the trick. I knew that I’d accomplished my goals.

Even better I realised I could use this event
as a catalyst. It was possible I could use this as a way to finally
get some privacy and just maybe the opportunity to get rid of the
beast. Just to feel out how far I might take this I whimpered in my
broken voice

“I want to leave. I want to go home to my own
apartment. They keep me here like a prisoner. I’ve committed no
crime yet I am watched day and night. How can I ever feel safe when
they just threatened to hurt me just like the men? I am a
skinwalker and I deserve to be treated with respect. Help me Jessie
please. They were going to manipulate my mind so they could get
their own way. Call the Chief and ask him to send someone to pick
me up. I belong with tribe not here.”

I knew I made my point and that every single
one of them learned a valuable lesson. I also knew that there was
no way any of them could stop me from going. I saw Jessie nod and
knew that before the sun set I would be safely back on tribal
grounds.

It took me four days to track down my first
lead. I was in and out of every shady bar between Vegas and Reno.
His name is Bidziil. He's a chief without a tribe. He's described
by those who have had the unfortunate luck to have come in contact
with him as dangerous, volatile and rouge. He's a trained combat
specialist and strategist.

He was proud of his NOFS membership and
bragged about capturing and torturing camazotz and nagual. He was
definitely one of the men in the bar. He stood over six feet four
and weighed in at two hundred and fifty pounds or more. He was
unshaven and even from here I could smell days of sweat on his
body. His sandy brown hair was shoulder length and he had it tied
in a knot at the nape of his neck. He was wearing a dirty wet
t-shirt that had once been white and a pair of striped boxer
shorts.

My sources were able to confirm despite his
dirty and unkempt appearance Bidziil is the brains behind the Vegas
operations. He was the one who gave the order to kidnap and kill
Chief Óscar's son. He also was the one who invited Chief Óscar to
New York. He stood in that man’s face and pretended to care about
his child when in truth he was the one responsible.

Bidziil was the first of my many targets
within the NOFS. I already had several other members. Most of them
reporting into Bidziil. I wanted leaders not followers and I
intended to interrogate Bidziil. I was sure he could give me the
names and locations of the other ringleaders. I found myself
holding my breath as I watched Bidziil moves through his paces.
Just as my informant promised Bidziil walked outside just a few
minutes before sunrise and launched into training exercises.

He grunted kicked, punched and lifted
weights. It was clear after the first thirty minutes that he had no
idea anyone was watching him. After he went through what I assumed
were his karate routine he lowered himself to the ground and began
a deep breathing exercise.

Not wanting him to get a whiff of my scent I
double checked the wind patterns. Once I was confident I was still
upwind I relaxed and watched him twist his body into some yoga
position then he closed his eyes and I assume started meditating.
After a few minutes of watching I decided that this was as good an
opportunity as I was going to get. So I lowered myself from the
roof and slowly crept towards Bidziil.

Like Seraphina, Bidziil never had a chance to
defend himself. I ripped his arm from the socket and beat him with
the bloody stump. I took him into his dwelling and tied him to his
bed. Then I started asking the questions that would bring me to the
others.

Each time he declined answering I used and
incredibly dull kitchen knife and made the cut on his leg just a
tiny bit deeper. I wanted to make sure I caused as much pain as
possible removing his leg. I would drag the process out over hours.
I would get justice for Seraphina. An arm for an arm and a leg and
innocence for pain.

It was more than three hours before I felt he
told me everything I could learn. He gave me the names of two other
men that reported to him that participated in ruining Seraphina. I
would make them my next two targets before moving on to Arizona and
another ring leader. Bidziil's leg was spewing blood and I thought
he would likely die if I didn't stop the bleeding. Deciding that
cauterizing his leg stump was my best option I looked around for
the materials I needed.

I pulled Bidziil off the bed by his good leg
and drug him into the kitchen. I laid him out on the kitchen table
and turned on the stove. I threw a cast iron lid on the burner and
waited for it to glow orange. Then I forced him to pick it up with
his good hand and press it against his stump to burn the wound
closed. The pain forced him to pass out. I turned on the cold water
in the sink and filled a glass of water. I wanted Bidziil awake and
very aware of everything I did to him. He sputtered awake and
immediately started to beg for his life.

I asked him if Seraphina begged them to stop.
I saw his face flame red and stripped him naked. Then I retrieved
the same dull knife I used to hack off his leg and separated
Bidziil from everything that made him a man. After today Bidziil
would never want to touch a woman again. I left him bruised,
bloodied and barely alive with the steak knife embedded in his
colon. My last words as I left his home was

"Be sure to warn your NOFS buddies. I am
going to do the exact same thing to every single one of them as
I've done to you. If they were smart they'd take their own lives
before I get to them."

Then I slapped his backside hard then added
just for emphasis

"Thank you for being so cooperative. I'm sure
with all the great information you gave me I won't have any
problems. If I did I guess I could come back and you and I could
have another friendly little chat."

I stepped out of his house and into the
setting sun. I was covered head to toe in Bidziil's blood but
didn't really give a crap. I walked back to the sleazy hotel I'd
been staying at and stripped naked and climbed into the shower. I
felt tears leak from my eyes as I scrubbed myself raw. I'd trained
to save lives not damage and destroy them. Part of me knew what I
was doing was wrong but I knew I’d to finish what I started. My
animals and in particular my coyote didn't share my disgust. He
yipped with joy each time Bidziil had screamed in pain.

At times throughout the day I’d allowed
myself to withdraw and let my coyote or my jaguar take over. The
water in the shower got cold and I managed to drag myself out. I
wrapped a towel around my waist and walked back into the bedroom. I
heard a buzzing sound and remembered my cell was still in the
dresser drawer. I pulled open the drawer and looked at the caller
ID. It was either my mum or pop. I slid my finger across the red
icon and declined the call. I was in no mood to fake a pleasant
call with anyone. A few seconds later I heard the phone beep and
knew they left me a voice mail. I punched in the code and listened
to the message

"Ulric, it's your mum. I called to tell you
that Seraphina has gone back to live on tribal grounds. We made a
mistake and scared her. We only meant to do what was best for her
but it backfired on us.

Call me Ulric so I can explain. You should
probably also call the Chief and check in on her. He's refusing to
tell us anything. He's pissed off that we tried to force a member
of his tribe to undergo experimental medicine.

Ulric, you know we just wanted to help her
heal. Waylon is convinced she can help Seraphina grow her leg and
eye back. We might even be able to heal the internal damage. Please
help us Ulric. Seraphina deserves to be whole again. You know she
will do anything you ask."

The message beeped indicating that my mum had
run out of time. I dropped the phone on the bed and took a deep
breath. My mum was right Seraphina did deserve to be whole. I
should call and tell to do the procedure. I lifted the phone in my
hand and pushed in the Chief's number. It rang twice before I
quickly slid my finger over the red icon and hung up. Tomorrow I
would call. I just wasn’t ready to hear Seraphina's voice yet. I
didn't want to hear the pain in her voice if she asked when I was
coming home.

My animals would want to rush home to protect
and care for her. I couldn't let that to happen. I had to do this
and I couldn't allow my shame or remorse stop me. I needed to do
this for Seraphina, myself and even Taini. I would be stronger once
I made sure the other two guys here in Vegas were taken care of.
Then I would call and tell Seraphina to do the procedure.

“Ouch”

I shouted again as I the doctor shoved the
needle into my leg.

“Sorry about that little miss. No way could I
take the sting out of that. Insulin has a little bite to it.
Gestational diabetes is common. I’m betting that your recent trauma
and the pregnancy are the cause. I think it will clear itself up
once you have the baby. In the meantime, I’m going to show you how
to give yourself the daily injection.”

I looked up at the tribe doctor and tried to
sort through the hundreds of things I wanted to say. Now that I was
living on tribal grounds I was able to see the tribe doctor. I felt
a tremendous sense of relief that I would be able to make my own
decisions and not have his family force their morals and standards
on me. I wanted to know if not carrying the baby was still an
option. I know that I was a bit further in my term than optimal but
perhaps given my circumstances the doctor would agree to do the
procedure. With that in mind I cleared my throat and looked him
dead in the eye.