Heart Two Heart (17 page)

I allowed the tears to continue to roll down
my face unstopped as I thought of all the things I would now need
to take responsibility for and to make right. At our core, I knew
both Seraphina and I’d started out as good people with morals and
ethics. I knew with time we could both regain what we have lost. It
would take work and time but it was possible. I am not proud of
what we’ve become but I know that it is within us to change and
move past this.

I turned the key in the ignition and pressed
down the gas pedal. With each mile that I moved closer to Arizona I
knew the task before me was going to be the hardest thing I’d ever
done in my life. I needed to go home and find a way to learn to
love my eternal heart again. To forgive myself for the pain she
suffered and to forgive her for the part she played in my life.

It took nearly two days of driving virtually
nonstop to hit the top of Arizona. It could be as much as another
six hours before I arrived home. I looked down and realised I would
need to fill up the tank before getting onto the highway. I looked
around and even squinted to see if I could see any lights up ahead.
I saw something blink and decided to give it a shot.

I went just over a mile and was pleased when
I saw a flashing light that said ‘OPEN’. I slowed down and pulled
into the service station. I pulled up to the pump and pulled out my
bank card. I realised that I would need to go inside to prepay and
started towards the door. I’d only made three steps when I felt a
strange tingling sensation move up my spine.

I swung my head from left to right
desperately trying to identify the sensation. Then just as I was
going to give up I smelled him then I saw the both of them. Waylon
and Pau were exiting the store with an infant in their arms. I knew
immediately that it was Seraphina’s baby. I felt my stomach flip
and felt vomit hit the back of my throat. Part of me wanted to rush
back into the car and pull away without ever looking back but
something demanded that I stand my ground. To my surprise Pau
adjusted his stance and took on the appearance of a man ready to
defend his family.

Waylon who was now behind the bulk of his
body managed to somehow safely tuck the baby firmly under his arm.
I could tell he was prepared to fight if necessary. I was surprised
how both of them saw me as a threat. I’d agreed with Chief that the
two of them would make excellent parents for the child. They should
be thanking me not preparing to fight with me.

I cleared my throat with the intention of
telling them exactly what I thought when I was suddenly bombarded
with the most amazing scent. Lilacs and vanilla. Taini’s scent. I
felt my eyebrows pinch together in confusion as I stared into Pau’s
eyes. I watched as he took a step towards me showing me his fangs
before he hissed at me

“You will not come near her. She will have
the opportunity this time to have a normal childhood. If you ever
loved her you will leave her alone until the time is right.”

I felt my insides become jittery as I
realised what he was saying to me. I had a million questions
running through my mind and my body was shaking in excitement and
fear. Was it possible that my heart was correct? Could the tiny
nagual carry within her the heart and soul of Taini? I licked my
lips and forced myself to ask the question that was imperative I
knew the answer to.

“How?”

Pau gave me a look of disapproval before he
barked at me

“How matters not! Why matters not! She is no
longer a concern of yours. You gave her up multiple times. She will
be raised by very good friends of mine. They can protect her. Don’t
look for her you will not find her.”

Then before I could say or do anything else
he struck me and my world went black.

“Nan, I know you know the truth. Either tell
me it or I will seek her out myself. If you just tell me then I
will make myself content knowing that someday her heart may call
mine. Please Geho, I know you know everything. Pau has never done
anything that you weren’t part of. Please if it were your eternal
heart you would want to know.”

I watched as my nan took several deep breaths
and looked around the room. Then to my surprise she put her hand
out towards me. I placed my hand in hers and she slowly walked us
outside and down the hill behind the house. We walked silently
along the edge of the lake until she finally said in a quiet
voice.

“Ulric, I have always considered you my own
grandchild though in truth you weren’t really born of my blood.
Taini was like a sister to me. I always knew she was broken but I
loved her just the same.”

I watched a small tear slip from my nan’s
eye. She reached up and wiped it quickly with her free hand before
she continued

“When we found Taini without her body we
searched high and low for a way to save her. Finally we found an
old Vaettir spell in a museum in France. We had friends from the
war break-in and steal it for us. Once we had the spell we knew we
needed to find a body to place her heart in.”

I watched her take a deep breath as she
turned towards me and took my other hand into hers. I saw pain and
anguish written on her face before she continued

“The spell was not what we hoped for. It was
a brutal spell that was unpleasant no matter how we did it. In
order to perform the spell we had to have one of two requirements.
Option one was that one of the spell casters would be required to
kill one of our own children in order to perform the spell. Meaning
that either Waylon would have had to kill one of his natural
children or that Pau would have had to kill me or I would have had
to kill Emilio. None of those things were ever going to
happen.”

More pain crossed her face. She let go of
both of my hands and wrapped her arms around her own waist before
she said

“Sit this is not going to sound good. But you
need to allow me to finish before you ask any questions.”

Nan looked at me and I nodded as I lowered
myself to the ground. I cleared my throat and said

“I need to know. I will let you have your
say. When you are finished if I have more questions you must
promise to answer them.”

Nan winced then nodded her head. Then she too
slowly lowered herself to the ground. I could now see tears
dripping from her eyes. She used the sleeve of her shirt to wipe at
them roughly before continuing

“The second option required the sacrifice of
an infant born of sin. Now, you might think that when Seraphina
gave birth to the baby our prayers had been answered. But that
could not be farther from the truth. You know our family treasures
the life of children more than any other race. Even Taini would
have gladly sacrificed her own life to save the babies.”

I watched my nan take several shaky breaths
before continuing.

“You know that the Chief awarded Waylon and
my pop custody. They brought her here to stay with me until Waylon
finished Seraphina’s treatments. It was only going to be a few
hours.”

More tears slipped down my nan’s face before
she finally wiped them away again with her sleeve and continued her
voice now broken and not much more than a whisper.

“While Waylon was treating Seraphina, the
baby got sick. You know the baby was born with a bad heart and
severe brain damage. I tried everything I could think of. I even
gave her some of my blood but her heart just stopped. I knew the
damage was done and nothing anyone could do would save the baby. I
made a decision and I helped her heart move from this world into
the next.”

I know that I’d promised that I would allow
my nan to finish. But I also know that she just admitted to killing
the baby. My mouth dropped open and I stuttered out

“Nan, you killed the baby?”

I watched my nan’s head drop into her lap and
her shoulders shook as her crying increased. Then she sobbed
out

“She would have died in vain. What I did gave
her tiny life purpose. I was able to perform the spell and save
Taini. The baby was going to be dead anyway. Please understand I
made a logical decision.”

I could tell that my gram was trying to
convince herself with her words more than she was trying to
convince me. Then she took a huge shaking breath and continued
between sobs

“That decision is tearing what I have left of
family apart. Your pop and mum refuse to speak to me. They have
made it very clear they no longer want me or my pop in their lives.
Waylon and my pop allowed me to finish the spell but they took
Taini away and have sworn to keep her hidden even from me.

It seems because of the brain damage they
expect that Taini will be unable to recall her first life.
According to Waylon it will be a complete and fresh start. This
time she will be raised without me. She won’t even know that I love
her. I have sacrificed my family’s love to do what I thought was
right. Now, I am alone and full of pain and shame. Please don’t
decide to hate me for my decision as well. I need to know that
somebody understands what I did.”

I was so torn by what my nan said. Part of me
understood completely why she did it. But I was still very torn. In
some respects it sort of made sense. I wanted to believe that all
the anguish that Seraphina and I have endured for the past several
months was worth it. It gave a purpose to the pain we’ve all
endured.

The other side of me knew that there was
something morose even morbid that one of my eternal heart birthed
the body of my other eternal heart. I felt something crawl up my
spine and knew that I would need time and distance to come to terms
with this. I pulled my nan into my arms and said nothing. It was
the best I could do. I allowed her to cry in my arms and I just
held her. When she cried herself out I said simply.

“I love you and will always love you. You are
the most caring person I know. You are my nan and this changes
nothing between us.”

I paused for a moment then realised I knew
what I would do next. I felt a small smile blossom on my face
before I said

“Gather your things. We are going to Hawaii.
Before all this happened I was offered a position in Queen’s
Medical Center in Honolulu Hawaii. I will have full rotations and
be able to train with some of the best specialists in the world.
This can give us all a new start.”

Then before she could say anything else I
pulled us both to our feet, smiled brightly at her then said

“According to Waylon, Seraphina is totally
healed. That means babies. Come on Nan, you know you love babies
and Seraphina and I are sure to have several over the next few
years. Skinwalkers love to procreate. Come to Hawaii and stay with
us. I can’t think of anyone I would rather have helping raise my
children. Let’s forget about the rest for now and live for
today.”

I looked around the empty room and smiled
brightly back at Seraphina. It was amazing how despite all the
things that happened in between life had almost gone back to normal
in just a few weeks. I’d expected things between Seraphina and me
to be awkward or in the least difficult but our skinwalkers had
made it so simple for us.

The first night I came home Seraphina and I
never spoke. We looked each other in the eye and shifted into our
skinwalkers and took off for a run. We ran and played as fox and
coyote for hours. Our animals somehow knew how to cut through all
of the emotional and intellectual crap and get to the root of the
issue.

Seraphina and I loved each other. We had been
sweethearts through my entire childhood. We were more than lovers
we were best friends. We’d both made mistakes and the price for our
errors had been very steep. We’ve paid the price and it was high
time we found peace with each other.

“Hey honey. You nan called and she’s ready
for us to pick her up. I’m going to head out to the car and wait
for you there.”

I turned around and looked at Seraphina. She
had a bright smile on her face and both of her eyes sparkled with
joy. I reached out and place a soft but sensual kiss on her lips. I
felt her body give a small quiver and I heard my skinwalker growl
in pleasure.

“I’ll be right out. I’m going to make a call.
I’ll be out in a minute.”

Seraphina nodded in understanding and headed
outside. We had a silent agreement that we never spoke of my mum or
pop. I wasn’t angry at either one of them but I was having a hard
time seeing things their way. My mum had a way of being very hard
headed and once she made up her mind getting her to see reason was
damn near impossible. It didn’t matter how anyone else felt. It
only ever matter how my mum felt.

Mum just wasn’t happy about how things worked
out with Seraphina and the baby. My mum is pro life and anyone that
sees things differently than her becomes the enemy. Instead of
being tolerant my mother becomes overly forceful with her opinion.
She doesn’t allow for anyone to disagree. My mother doesn’t bend
with the wind she breaks.

My pop on the other hand is incapable of
having his own opinion. He just takes my mum’s side. Right or wrong
he agrees with her. It has always been that way, and I have to
assume it will always be that way. For that reason I have had to
tell both of them that I was leaving and that I would call only
when it was convenient to me. I love them both but I can’t allow my
mother to dictate my life and how I should feel or behave. She
needs to do what’s right for her and I need to do what’s right for
me and Seraphina.

Unfortunately because of my mum’s attitude
Seraphina wanted nothing to do with my mum or pop. It seems during
my absence Seraphina felt as if my mum and pop had been almost
cruel in their judgment of her and their behavior towards her. They
wanted Seraphina to accept the baby and all the consequences of her
actions. Seraphina was sick, alone and scared. She didn’t want the
baby and she knew I felt the same way. That didn’t matter to my
parents they tried to force their wants and beliefs onto
Seraphina.