Hard to Hold On (12 page)

“W
hatever.” I stand quickly, raking my fingers through my hair. “I’ll do what I can to keep it going. No point in giving up now.”

Chapter Fifteen

Natalie

After Harper and I went shopping, got
dressed, did our hair, and applied some makeup, we’re finally on our way to the party. I decided to go with a sky-blue spaghetti-strapped dress with silver sandals and silver accessories to match. Harp went for a peach colored dress that reveals a little too much cleavage and skin but it works well against her tan complexion.

Before we even reach the house, I hear the bass of the music thumping. I swallow the nervous lump in my throat as Harper pulls
up to the house that’s swarmed with cars around it. There has to be over fifty people here already and we’re early. That’s really saying something. “Holy shit!” Harper says as she parks the car and turns it off.

A girl screams from
the shore and we both look to see she’s being tossed into the water by a guy. I expect her to get out and wail on him but instead she giggles while tugging her wet dress down. Yeah, she’s obviously wasted. “This is going to be fun,” Harper says then jumps out of the car. I get out slowly, shut my door behind me, and then look ahead at the lake house. It’s made of large wooden logs and is lit with sidelights. It’s a two-story home and I can tell it’s pretty pricey by its foundation and how well-kept it is.

“There’s one thing I need to say
to you before we go in,” Harper says, running over to me. “Have fun. Fuck Nolan. He’s a dick. Get what you came for, which is to have fun. We aren’t here to wallow and whatever you do, don’t bring him up during a conversation. Just be free for once. You deserve it.”

I nod as I look her straight
in the eyes. She then grabs my hand and rushes through the gaps of the cars to get to the door. We pass a few couples making out heavily on the stoop and even on the porch. Some don’t even notice we’re passing by because they’re so trapped in their make-out session.

Without hesitation, Harper
grabs the door knob and pushes the door open and various colored rave lights flicker across our face. I shut the door behind us in complete awe as I stare around at each person dancing, drinking, or practically fucking against the wall. At the sight of them I shudder but I can’t help but to get into the rhythm of the beat that’s a remix of a Rihanna song and a techno beat.

“This is freaking
amazing!” Harper squeals in my ear as she grips my hand. “Let’s go get some drinks before you run into Tyler.”

She rushes
for the kitchen and as soon as we’re in I see a few guys around a keg. One of the boys is being held upside down as he drinks from it while the other guys are yelling “Chug, chug, chug!” The guy being held upside continues to drink until they finally let him down. As soon as he’s down, he stumbles, grinning like an idiot. He can’t be any older than seventeen but he sure is having the time of his life.

Harper steps around the counter and I follow her to the bottle of vodka. She squirms through a few people to grab some spare
plastic cups and pours some vodka into each one. “Drink it all,” she says, shoving the cup into my hands. “I don’t want to be a bad influence or anything but we’ve got to loosen you up.”

I decide to take
her advice. I don’t want to think at all. I just want to live in the moment. I’m starting to realize that thinking is going to continue to get me hurt. It’s time to be a nineteen-year-old Natalie for once and not give a damn about anything but myself. That’s how it’s supposed to be. After figuring out I may have been cheated on twice, I really need to rid my mind of it. I really need to just wing it.

I take a huge gulp of the vodka and it burns my throat but
I force it down. I take another and Harper cheers as she watches me. “My turn!” she says then swallows her whole drink down in a snap.

My eyes broaden as I laugh at her. She pours another cup and I cheer her on as she gulps it. “Go Harp!”

A boy beside her with dark hair and heavy eyelids joins in and pumps his fist in the air as he watches her. “Holy shit, dude,” he says to the guy beside him. “Look. This girl is a fucking pro.”

The guy beside him turns around but
my heart pauses, realizing this certain guy is Tyler. He has on a tight white T-shirt and his hair is gelled to perfection. He looks amazing but I force myself to keep calm. His eyes meet mine after he’s watched Harper swallow down her second cup and then he steps around the counter. With each stride he takes towards me, my heart thumps and I feel the center of my legs tighten. Why am I getting so thrilled to see him coming my way?

“I really
didn’t think you could get any hotter,” he says in my ear, placing a hand on my waist. My cheeks heat as I look up into his eyes that are flickering beneath the fluorescent lights. “Glad you joined me tonight.”

“I’m glad you invited me.”

He chuckles. “I see you’ve welcomed yourself. Would you like another?” His hand points towards the bottle of vodka. I look with him but notice Harper has disappeared.

“Sure,” I nod as he grabs it.
He fills my cup halfway then hands it to me with a warm, sexy smile.

“By the way, the people here can get a little crazy. You shoul
dn’t take drinks from anyone you don’t know. Don’t need you getting too fucked up, you know?”

G
iggling, I nod my head, my hair shaking against my shoulders. Tyler reaches a hand up to brush it across my cheek and then tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear. My breathing stifles and my giggling comes to a halt as I watch his gaze linger on mine before drifting down to my breasts and then my legs. To distract myself from naughty thoughts, I gulp my drink down and ignore the burning that comes along with it.

“Slow
down, tigress,” he teases, taking the cup away from me. “Let’s go dance. You seem like you might be good at that.”

“Yeah,” I breathe,
licking my lips.

Tyler grabs my hand and makes his way through the crowded kitchen. He pushes through the crowd in the living
room and sweat fills my lungs along with the thick scent of cigarettes and even marijuana. Hooking an arm around my waist, Tyler spins me around and my hips brush against his groin. I hear him growl deeply against my ear and I shudder delightfully from both the feel of him against me and the pleasure I know he’s feeling.

For a moment, it seems as if no one else in the room matters. The alcohol is c
oursing through my system and I could care less about anything else that may be happening outside of my sexy groove. I can feel eyes on us—some envious and some excited—but all of it is a complete blur.

My hips
continue to move and Tyler groans again. His fingers curl around my waist as he moves with me. I allow the back of my head to fall against his shoulder and his lips touch my neck. It’s a huge turn on and I quiver as he does it again. His lips trail from my neck to the lobe of my ear and I grip his white T-shirt a little too tightly.

“You are so damn sexy, Natalie,” he mumbles
into my ear, his voice deep, husky, and sending a spiral of heat to shoot from my throat and bolt right down to the center of my legs.

In an instant, I’
m facing Tyler whose flickering hazel eyes have darkened and pooled with lust. He grips my waist tightly with one hand, his other hand moving down to my ass. My forehead falls against his chest and I breathe his spicy cologne in. “Follow me?” he asks, grabbing my hand and tilting my chin up so I can look at him.

I nod recklessly and he spins around quickly to make his way toward
s the staircase. I try to keep up but a few giggles burst out of me. I’m beyond excited to do this. I’ve never felt so free in my life . . . well except on the first night I’d met Nolan.

As
we clamber up the stairs, that’s when it hits me. That’s when I realize why I’m doing this. The only reason I told Tyler yes in the first place is to get rid of any thoughts of Nolan. I can’t lie and say it isn’t working because it is and I’m glad about it.

Tyler comes to a stop in front
of one of the doors and steps in. He flips the light switch on and for some reason it seems as if the music has followed us upstairs. It’s that damn loud. I take in the made up king-sized bed against the wall that’s covered with a gold sheet and comforter along with gold and white pillows. The curtains in front of the windows are gold as well and the carpet is a soft white.

Before I
can allow myself to think, Tyler pushes against me and his lips find mine. I groan deeply as he does and his hands move from my waist to my breasts. He cups them and his lips fall down to my neck. My head tilts to the side, wanting to feel it all. The back of my legs bump against the bed and I fall quickly but he climbs on top of me.

“You really are something,” he mumbles against my
ear. He kisses me again but this time there is an addition of velvety tongue. He starts to rub against me and there’s no doubt heat and moisture is building up and trickling to my panties. He brings a hand down to slide one of his fingers beneath my lacey panties and I groan as he begins to rub the sensitive flesh between my legs.

“So wet,” he murmurs
. He brings his head up to look down at me. “I swear if I didn’t have morals I would fuck you right here. Right now.”

Lic
king my lips, I ignore all he’s said and pull him against me. I refuse for this night to turn awkward like it did during my first night with Nolan. I want to continue this feeling of being free. “Forget the morals,” I whisper, kissing his neck. I flip him over and he grunts but he doesn’t move as I climb on top of him. His lust-filled eyes watch as my fingers crawl beneath his shirt.

“You just got out of a relationship, right?” he asks.

“Yes.”

“So, what’s your rush?
I thought you liked taking things slow and easy.”

“I’ve learned that taking it easy gets you hurt. I’m tired of being hurt—can we just do this?
Isn’t this what you want? A quick and carefree ride with me?”

“You think I’d put in all that time at school for a quic
k and carefree ride? Ask anyone around here about how I am,” he says, sitting up on his elbows and causing me to adjust on top of him. “I don’t come onto girls unless I really want her. I
want
you.”

“Why?” I giggle. “What’s there to want?”

“You’re fucking hot, for one,” he says, revealing one of those hot-as-hell smiles. “And two, adorable.” He grips my upper arms and switches roles. I land on my back gently and he stares down at me. “Your personality is unique.” He plants a kiss on the crook of my neck and I groan, my legs stiffening. “I could make this a one-night thing but . . .” He brings his head down to kiss the other side of my neck and my legs squeeze around him. He begins to rub between my legs again and I moan against his lips that have just touched mine. “. . . what would be the fun in that? I’d love to have more than one night with you.”

“You men really are delusional,” I quip
, thinking of Nolan. “You all use the same pick-up lines.”

“So you’re comparing me to other men now?” he teases, licking his lips as they hover above mine.
His silky tongue runs over his plush lips before disappearing into his mouth again.

“No.”

“I think you are. Let me prove to you that I’m more than these other guys.”

“How?” I breathe.

Smirking, he brings his face down and his lips crush mine. One of his hands grabs my ass while the other cups my face to make the kiss as strong as possible. He rubs up and down between my legs again and the heat continues to build. “Do you remember that movie date I mentioned to you before?”

“Yes
.”

“How about it?
Next week, after one of our classes?”

“Hmm . . .” I push on my elbows while looking into his eyes. My head swims from the sudden movement but I laugh it off as I push against his chest.
Stumbling off the bed, I turn to look at Tyler who is watching me with yearning, hungry eyes. “I don’t think dating is for me right now.”

“Why not?”

“I’m—it’s just not for me.”

His head ti
lts as he smiles softly. “Okay. Okay.” He hops to his feet and pulls me in by my waist again. I look up into his eyes that are glazed over with complete lust. “We won’t date. I’ll just take you out or something. I won’t consider the full benefit but I do want you to have fun with me. I won’t ask you to go out with me every night but I will keep in contact. I don’t want to push you away too much. I realize we both have lives and settling is the last thing you want to do after breaking it off with someone. We’ll just kick it.” He winks with a charismatic smile. “How does that sound?”

“That s
ounds great,” I grin.

“Good,” he sighs
, running his fingers through his gold locks. “But let me do this one more time before we head down stairs. I don’t want them fucking up my house.”

I yelp as Tyler picks me up and steps toward
s the nearest wall. My back bumps against it and he swallows my moan as his lips continue to press against mine. Our tongues twirl and dive and the velvety textures collide as I cling onto his shirt. I can feel his arousal through his dark jeans which causes me to boil inside even more. Damn it. Why do I want this so badly?