Hard to Hold On (14 page)

“Get the hell out of my face, Sharon.”

Her fingers trail across my chest and she giggles before clunking away in her high red heels. A sigh of relief brushes past my lips as I watch her disappear before I hurry to the back exit. I can’t run into that girl. I can’t be alone with that girl. I’ve come a long way from where I was before but . . . I’m not completely there yet. It’s not safe enough for me to be around any girl alone—no girl other than Natalie. If I’m caught with Sharon alone—drunk, especially—I don’t know what I’ll end up doing.

Chapter Seventeen

Natalie

I’ve never felt more rejuvenated than today. Today is a day of being single. It’s a day of not dwelling on the past or the problems that come along with it. I think last night was one of the best nights of my life. I’ve never had so much fun and to know that I didn’t worry too much or even wallow a ton about being cheated on makes me even happier. I know I can do it. I have to start getting over people and living on. Shit happens. Life happens. I usually get fucked over more than anything else in life anyway so it’s finally time to learn how to deal with it. I have to find ways to get over it.

I turn on my side with a yawn as I stretch. I then sit up but as I do
, I hear Harper giggling. I’m surprised she didn’t sleep in like me. I check the time on my phone and it reads
2:02 PM
. What the hell is she laughing about? Who’s here?

Hopping out of bed, I rush for my dresser and pull out a pair of jean capr
is and a pink halter-top shirt with sleeves that stop in the middle of the forearms. It reveals my shoulders which is good because I want Tyler to remember how great my skin felt against his last night.

After I take a quick
shower, blow-dry my hair, and then get dressed, I grab my notebook and my satchel and step out. I shut my door behind me and pull my keys out, making my way towards the living room. Hearing Harper giggling again causes me to stop and look up. Her legs are dangling over the couch and every time she giggles, her tiny feet kick in the air.

“H
arp?” I call, my eyebrows rising curiously. In only a second, her giggling stifles and the room becomes silent. She peeks over the couch with a small smile on her lips, her hair messy and her lips swollen.

“
Oh, hey, Nat!” she chimes, sitting up completely.

“Um . . . what are you laughing at?”

“That would be me. The only guy who should be giving her the giggles.” My eyes narrow curiously as the familiar voice grunts to sit up. My heart starts to beat lightly as Dawson looks at me, his dark-brown eyes sweet and gentle. I’m relieved he’s here with Harper. It gives me hope for her and her worries. “Sup, Nat? Long time, no see.”

“
I know, right?” I step forward cautiously, hoping they aren’t naked. “Okay. I have to ask. Why are you back so soon? I thought you weren’t coming from Tampa until this weekend.”

“I missed my Harps,” he says, his deep voice purring as he looks
over his shoulder and into her eyes. “My phone gave out on me at the beach. I tried calling from my cousin’s cell but she wasn’t answering.” He gives her a scolding smile and she giggles.

“Sorry,” she whispers. “I didn’t know who it was. I don’t answer unknown numbers unless I’m expecting a call.”

“Not even when that number calls you a dozen times?” He reaches forward to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. She melts and her cheeks fill with blood as she stares into his eyes.

“Well obviously I’ve interrupte
d you two’s . . . um . . . playtime,” I say through a breathy laugh, “so, I’ll be on way now.”

“Cool shiz,” Dawson says. “We’ve got the place to ourselves, babe.” He wraps his arms around her and she curls against his large torso as I make my way to
wards the door.

“See you guys later.
”

“Oh—Nat
alie!” Dawson calls, kicking his feet up on the coffee table. “Forgot to tell you that my man Nolan is coming back in town. He says he has a few words to share with you since you haven’t been answering his calls. He won’t tell me what’s going on so how about you give me the honor?”

I
stare at Dawson, wanting to slap him for lying but as he stares back at me, expecting an answer, I realize maybe he really doesn’t know we’ve broken up. “Tell Nolan I don’t want to talk. We’re done.”

“
Whoa.” He turns to look at Harp, his gaze serious. “Seriously, what’s going on?”

“It’s none of our
business,” Harper hisses at him. She’s defending me now but I know she’s going to tell Dawson everything once I’m out of earshot.

“I’ll see you guys later,” I mutter before my throat can
close in on itself. I shut the door behind me and rush for the elevator. Shit. Why is he coming back? Why now when I actually want to forget about him? Talking to him in person is going to destroy me. It’s going to make me want to accept him back into my life but I know he’s not good for me. He’s Nolan. He’s a player. It’s what has defined him for years. I thought I had changed his ways and helped him out a little but it’s obvious that I didn’t. I only wasted my time.

I grow impatient
, watching as the numbers of the elevator climb. It finally dings but as it shoots open, my heart completely drops and my palms drench with sweat. I meet his grey eyes before taking in the full sight of him. As much as I don’t want to admit it, he’s sexy as hell in his red T-shirt clinging to every crease of his upper half, his dark jeans, and even his hair looks like he put work into it to give it that hot, purposely messy look.

His lips part, as if he wants to say something
, but after a second, his lips seal. Although I want to run like hell, the soles of my shoes remain glued to the floor and I continue to stare, wide-eyed and with my mouth ajar.

“
Hi, Bunny,” Nolan whispers, staring back at me with a small smile.

Chapter Eighteen

Nolan

I don’t think I’ve ever been at a loss for words to see someone. Ever. Seeing Natalie stand before me and looking at me as if I’m a murderer makes me want to do nothing but shut up. What is she
thinking? What does she think about seeing me here? Perhaps Mills was right. He really needs to stay the hell out of my head.

As I call her “Bunny”, her cheeks burn a bright red and that gives me a little satisfaction. At least I can still make her feel something. I step out of the elevator but she takes a few steps
back to keep the distance.

“Nolan,” she says, forcing a smile. “W-what are you doing here?”

“I’m back in Miami . . . for good, Natalie.”

Gulp
ing, she looks me over, confusing me on whether she’s enjoying the sight of me or disliking it. Maybe there’s a mix of feelings. I wouldn’t be so happy to see someone like me, either, after what I’d said to her before she left California. “So where you headed off to?” I ask, aiming to lighten the mood.

“I have cl
ass,” she replies quickly. “At 2:45 actually so I should get going.”

“Natalie.
” I shake my head, lowering my gaze to look at the floor. After a second, I look up at her and her brown eyes watch me, confused. “Look, we have to talk about this.”

“Not right now, Nolan.” She steps around me and presses the button on the elevator but as it opens, I grab her arm. “Nolan, get off of me. I have class and I can’t be late.”

“It won’t kill you. What’s more important right now? Our relationship or one class you can easily catch up on?” I raise a brow, waiting on her response.

“We don’t have a relationship anymore, Nolan.”

My grip slips from around her arm. I blink quickly as the world seems to crash around me. “W-what is that supposed to mean exactly? That we’re done? You haven’t even given me a chance explain myself to you, Natalie!”

“I d
on’t need you to explain anything to me, Nolan!” she snaps. “I don’t need shit from you anymore. You said it clearly enough in California. You’ve stated more than enough by being around an ex . . . I—I just can’t do it. I can’t be with someone that can’t remain faithful. I’m tired of being hurt, Nolan. I’m tired of lying to myself just to remain happy.”

“I never cheated on you, Natalie—”

“Then who is Sharon?” She folds her arms with her book tucked beneath her arm. “Why are you hanging around your ex?”

“She’s just that, Natalie. My ex.
She was helping me move the stuff out of the house.” My head shakes as I step towards her. Her breath hitches as I pull her in by her waist with one hand, bringing the other up to cup her cheek. Her warm skin feels good against mine. Her vanilla scent smells fresh and rich. “Natalie, I love you, alright. I’m sorry for making you run away from me. I’m sorry for arguing with you and taking my anger out on you but I swear I didn’t mean. It’s been hard for me, trust me, but I came back to tell you everything. I miss you so much. I need you more than anything right now.”

“Nolan—”
She breaks off, her head lowering to hide her glistening eyes. Silence seizes the atmosphere and I wait for a response as I hold onto her, never wanting to let go. “Nolan, I’m sorry but I don’t know if this is going to work between us. I don’t think we should—”

I frown, placing my finger against her lips before she can finish her sentence. “No. I’m coming back tonight and we’re talking. Don’t tell me we’re done because we’re not. We’re not going to end this. It’s an obstacle, Bunny. It’s nothing we can’t overcome.”

Pressing her lips, she stares at me before pulling away and folding her fingers. She then presses the elevator button once more before turning around and looking at me. The doors slide open and she steps in but her eyes never leave mine. Before the doors can shut, she says, “I can’t do this right now, Nolan.”

“Natalie!”
The silver doors slide shut and I press the button a million times to try and get it open but it doesn’t. I bang against it, kick it, and even grunt a few times but it’s completely pointless. Damn it! Mills was right. What the fuck is making her want to leave me so badly? Does she really think I’ve cheated on her?

A million thoughts come to mind but the main one
is knowing she’s single and anyone can get to her. Knowing we officially aren’t together is tearing me apart, but fuck it. I don’t have time for the games. I don’t have time to deal with someone who no longer wants me . . . someone who doesn’t
trust
me. I’ve done all of this shit for her—I packed up and sold my mom’s fucking house for her—and this is how she treats me?

I should have known
this love shit wasn’t for me. I should have kept it in the past where it belongs because all it does is hurt me. I’m sick of trying. I fall, and then I’m broken? I’m faithful, but then I get hurt? That’s not how it’s supposed to go. That’s not what I signed up for. Why the hell can’t I just find peace for once in my miserable life?

Chapter Nineteen

Natalie

As I get into my car and slam my door shut behind me, I feel all of my nerves jumbled into one. I feel all of the pain crashing down inside of me and then the tears build up. I grip the
steering wheel tightly, wanting something to hold onto to ease the pain. What is he doing here? I hate that I’ve run into him because now all of the negativity is coming back. Now, reality has set in and I realize that I do have a broken heart I’ve tried to cover up and mend with a party and a few drinks.

I had fun last night, but the
fun only lasted for so long and can’t cover up how I really feel. I can’t believe he’s actually come back to Miami. The look in his eyes nearly killed me and I seriously wanted to take him back but I knew better. I knew not to fall into his arms like the idiot that I once was. I know to stay away because all players and cheaters do is lie. They’ll lie straight to my face but, for some reason, Nolan didn’t seem like a liar. He seemed far from it.

“Shit,” I hiss, cranking
the car with trembling hands. I pull out of my parking spot, spotting Nolan’s red Mustang sitting at the curb. Seeing it causes my heart to pound and I speed out, hurrying to my destination. I’d rather be at school than anywhere near the guy who promised not to break my heart but did anyway.

****

Class has just started as I swing the door open. I trail down the aisle with my head down, feeling a pair of heavy eyes on me. Tyler is sitting at my old table, the spot next to him available and ready for me. Unfortunately, I don’t go for it. I go for the table where a girl is already sitting. She looks at me and forces a smile but I’m sure she’s considering me crazy for sitting beside her, just like I thought Tyler was crazy for sitting beside me when there were plenty of empty seats left in the room.

“Natalie!” s
omeone hisses. I turn around only to see Brittany standing at the door. Brittany is the first girl I’d met at this community college and she’s pretty down to earth. She’s sweet, into reading, and has a really hot boyfriend that plays a mean acoustic guitar.

I don’t even bother to remove my satchel. I grab my book, stand, push
my chair in, and hurry for the back door. I can still feel Tyler’s eyes on me but I don’t dare myself to look his way. I can’t make eye contact with him. I can feel the frustration coming from his direction but I purposely avoid it.