Hard to Hold On (17 page)

“Sounds cool,” Natali
e says, watching him step past her.

“Don’t make up too much!
”

Her cheeks burn red at Dawson’s remark but I laugh as I fold my arms. As soon as the door shuts behind him, that’s when the atmosphere grows heavy. Natalie adjusts the strap of
her bag while standing on the heel of her shoes.

“So, should I go?” I ask, dropping my arms.

She shrugs. “It’s up to you, not me.”

She forces a smile then licks her lips. I miss those lips. I miss everything about her. “Natalie, why are we making this worse than what it is?”

Shrugging, she takes her bag off and sits it on the counter, along with her book. She makes her way towards the fridge but before she can grab the handle to pull it open, I grab her hand to spin her around. I pin my hands on both sides of her head, pressing my palms flat against the fridge. “Don’t act like we were nothing, Natalie.”

Her breath hitches as she stares at my lips. “I know we were
n’t
nothing
.”

“Then stop brushing me off.” Her brown eyes look from my lips to my eyes. I wait for her to blink but she doesn’t.

“I ran into someone today,” she says.

“Who?”

“Sharon.”

I grimace,
pulling back. “How? She doesn’t even know you.”

“
It doesn’t matter if she knows me or not. Are you sleeping with her?” she snaps.

“No, Natalie! Why would I be? I told her
not to bother me or you before I left.”

Her eyes narrow an
d then she slips beneath my arm to get away from me. “Something’s fishy, Nolan. Why would she be down here of all places? How could she find me when she doesn’t know what I look like?”

“What did she say to you?”

“That something happened between you and her in California.”

Shaking my head, I run a hand through my hair. I’ve never been the one to handle situations like this.
Back then, I used to brush confrontation off and make the girl feel like the weakest link. I never really gave a damn about arguing . . . that is until Natalie came into my life, of course.

“Tell me the truth, Nolan.”

“I promise you I’m not sleeping with her, Natalie.”

She bites her lower lip heavily and something inside of me skyrockets. I want that lip between my teeth. I want
her
. I step towards her again but she shakes her head, taking slow steps back.

“I’m not in the mood for you right now, Nolan.”

I raise a brow. “Oh really? Since when?”

“Since . . .” S
he trails off, her eyes falling down to my chest and then my abs, and I smirk as I hook an arm around her waist.

“You don’t miss me?” I ask.

She hesitates on her answer. Then, as she looks into my eyes, I see something spark within them. “I’ve missed you a lot, Nolan.”

Her lips crash against mine and I cup one of my hands aroun
d her face, the other gliding down to lift her up so she can wrap her legs around me. Both of my arms fall to hold onto her and I step backwards to get into the kitchen again. The fridge comes into view and her back presses against it, but I don’t stop. I don’t want to. It feels too fucking good. “I’ve missed you, too, Natalie. So much.”

My hands trail from her waist up to her breast and I slide my tongue into her mouth. She always
tastes sweet. I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of her. I begin to unbutton her pants, kissing her neck. She moans and I think she’s going to stop me but she doesn’t. I drop her but my lips never leave hers. I begin to slide her jeans down but three heavy knocks bang against the door, stopping my eager hands.

She jumps
, startled, and I pull away, taking in her full, swollen lips. “Who is that?” I ask.

“I don’t know,” she breathes.

Frustration takes hold of me and as bad as I don’t want to be away from her, I step back. “Let me go get some clothes on.”

She nods
, buttoning her jeans before stepping from in front of me to get out of the kitchen. I hurry for her room before I can be seen in just my boxers and scramble for my clothes lying on the end of the bed. I’m surprised they’ve been washed.

As I tug my jeans on, I hear Natalie gasp and then whisper. A deep voice echoes through the condo and I frown because it
doesn’t sound like anyone that I might know. Pulling my shirt over my head, I grab my socks and shoes and slide them on before heading out of her bedroom.

At first sigh
t of the blonde-haired boy, my jaw locks and twitches as his hazel eyes meet mine and he smirks at me. Natalie steps out of the kitchen with her notebook in hand but once she sees me in the living room, her face softens.

“Who’s this?” I ask.

“Nolan, this is Tyler,” she says, placing her notebook on the coffee table. She steps towards me, her eyes nervous. “We’re studying together for a test tomorrow.”

I look up at T
yler who’s smiling softly. He then steps forward with his hand held out but I shake my head, stepping away from him and avoiding the hand he’s offering. “Are you sure that’s all you two are doing?” I ask.

“Yes,” she
whispers. “Do you think we can meet up later to talk?”

“How late?” Tyler asks, looking at Natalie.

I frown at him. “Why does it matter?”

“Because I
was planning on taking her out later. That’s why.” He slides his fingers into his back pockets casually, still smirking. Jealousy blinds me and then something snaps. I take a step forward but Natalie grips my arm to stop me.

“You aren’t taking her anywhere,” I hiss through my teeth.

“Why not?” He chuckles, bringing a hand up to run it through his hair. “I would say after last weekend we have a lot more in common than I thought. She went upstairs with me to a bedroom and it was—”

In an instant, I yank away from Natalie to
rush for him and punch him in the nose. He stumbles back, landing on the sofa as blood spills. I rush to try and snatch him up by his shirt but Natalie yells my name and yanks on my arm before I can hit him again.

“Get off of me, Natalie!” I pull away from her and instead of going for Tyler, I go for the door.
Yanking on the door knob, I rush out and hurry for the elevator. The time when I want it to open up immediately, it doesn’t.

“
Nolan,” Natalie calls. She places a hand on my shoulder but I turn around, facing her with nothing but rage.

“You were so worried about me sleeping with someone else but you’ve been with another guy
this whole time? Who the hell is he, Natalie?”

She flinch
es but her eyes remain wide, glistening. “He’s a friend, Nolan. I met him at school.”

“You went into
bedroom with him?”

She swallows and her grip loosens
but I pull away completely, shaking my head. “Nolan, I—”

“Don’t even explain to me, N
atalie. I should have known you would turn out like the rest. I should have fucking known you were too good to be true.”

“Nolan, how could you say that? We weren’t together when I
hung out with him. You made me feel so alone! I love you—”

“Obviously
not if you’ve moved on this fast with the fucker in there!” I step around her and rush for the stairs, knowing it’s pointless to wait for the elevator. I can’t face her any longer. I have to get the fuck out of here.

“Nolan, I’m sorry! It’s not like that
!”

I ignore her. I can’t look back. I came
back to Miami in hopes that we could work it out. All of this time I’ve been trying not to fuck up with her but she’s the one who fucked me over? There’s no telling how long she’s been talking to that dick. The thought of her sleeping with him comes to surface and kills me. The thought of him touching her, kissing her, taking her in his arms makes me cringe.

I hit the last l
evel of stairs and burst out the door. The sun is high and blazing, adding more fuel to my temper. I’m literally on fire on the inside. How could she do this to me? To us?

What’
s wrong with me? Every girl I date makes me feel like I’m worthless—like I can’t make them happy. Was she not happy with me? So many thoughts and questions are running through my mind right now and it hurts to think about. It hurts to know maybe Mills was right all along. Maybe she knows she deserves someone better than me. Maybe she’s trying to let me off easily so she can move on for good.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Natalie

The look on Nolan’s face nearly kills me. As he storms away from me with nothing but rage it frightens me but hurts me at the same time. It hurts because I know I’ve hurt him. I know he’s upset and I’m still left with unanswered questions from earlier. I wanted to talk about Sharon but his lips distracted me. That body distracted me. I wanted him against me so badly. I’ve missed him but to know I may have actually lost him is stabbing at my gut.

“Why would you say th
at to him?” I yell at Tyler, slamming the door behind me.

“
Is he important to you? He seemed like a dick.”

“
He’s not a dick. He’s my boyfriend.”

“You mean your
ex
-boyfriend,” he corrects. “I can tell by the way he was looking at you. Why was he here?”

My eyebrows pull together as I grab my
notebook and pull out the notes from class I had taken yesterday. I shove the papers into his hands and then rush for the door. I don’t have to explain myself to him. “You need to leave.”

“Why?” he chuckles. “I thought we were studying.”

“We’re not, Tyler.
Leave
.”

Tyler’s smile fades as he looks me over. He then folds the sheet
s of paper I’d shoved at him and slides them into his back pocket. “I’m sorry I’ve upset you, Natalie, but I think you deserve better than a guy like him.”

“You know nothing about him,” I hiss. He steps forward slowly and my heart pounds. What is he goin
g to do? From what Brittany told me earlier, I’m paranoid to be alone with him now. He finally meets up to me but I grip onto the doorknob, pulling the door open. “I think it’d be best for you to leave.”

“I’m
sorry, Natalie,” he whispers, placing his palms flat on the door to shut it. He cages me in with his arms and I stare up into his soft hazel eyes. “I guess I tried too hard. I know he hurt you and I know you deserve better than a guy like him. Let me take you out to make up for my reckless behavior.”

I force myself to
swallow the heavy brick in my throat, staring at the blood that’s on his nose. He brings his hand up to run the back of it across my cheek. As he strokes it, I feel my cheeks heating up. My belly is brewing with a feeling I’ve never felt before. I can’t believe it. I’m enjoying how much he intimidates me.

“I’m sorry,” Tyler murmurs
again, leaning back a little. “Let me make it up to you.”

“How?” I whisper

He smirks and then pulls his keys out of his pocket. “Let’s get ice-cream. It’s pretty warm today.”

I debate in my mind
on whether I should or not. Nolan appears in my thoughts rapidly and I feel guilty but then again I don’t because what Sharon told me earlier has gotten to me. I don’t want to believe anything she’s said but why would she go out of her way and find me just to lie? She was talking about it too casually and for her to know who I am has me curious. Maybe there’s more to it than I know. I can’t continue to reminisce and worry myself about it. My motto for the past forty-eight hours has been “fuck it and get over it” and I’ll be doing just that. I can’t let it get to me.

“Alright. Let me grab my bag
. You can clean the blood from your face in my bathroom,” I finally say. He smiles broadly and then leans in to kiss my cheek.

“I have a lot to learn about you,” he murmurs. “I don’t mind
it, though.”

“Yeah
,” I breathe, forcing a smile. Whatever that means.

****

“I’m serious,” Tyler says as he grabs a napkin from the table. “Professor Doran is wild. He told me once before that he makes his son audition in plays. His son wants to play basketball but Doran wants him to be an actor. The guy is insane.”

I giggle before taking a lick of my ice-cream. “I love Professor Doran.
He teaches differently and I love how I can actually learn with him.”

“You’re huge on writing
and reading, huh?”

“Very huge.”

Tyler nods before taking a lick of his strawberry ice-cream. He stares at me and his eyes soften a bit as he rests his elbows on the table. “I’m sorry about . . . earlier. It wasn’t right of me. I just—” He runs a hand through his hair, taking a deep breath. “I could just tell he was someone who used to be close to your heart.”

I bite on my lower lip as I look away.
He has no clue how close Nolan still is to my heart. Tyler stands and tosses his strawberry ice-cream into the trash can behind him. I look at him, dumb-founded, because I still have a ton of cold vanilla left on my cone. “Why did you throw your ice-cream away?”