Gator (7 page)

Gator

Mia is happy
most of the time. She smiles a lot until dinner. A little girl catches her
attention at the restaurant like a ghost of her past stealing away her smiles.
I glance at the kid and wonder about having one with Mia. Ours won’t be blond
or blue eyed. I imagine my kid looking like me, but hope it has Mia’s soft
smile. I miss that smile.

When I place
my hand on hers, she finally looks up from her lap.

“I would have
been a bad mom, but my baby isn’t better off dead.”

“I know.”

Mia nods then
glances once more at the girl. I know even after our meal and the walk back to
the hotel that her mind is on the baby she lost. I can’t imagine bringing a child
into her hell. Rodent barely kept Mia alive and I suspect the baby wouldn’t
have lasted more than a few months.

“I love you,”
Mia says as we sit on the balcony.

The words cut
into me and I can’t remember ever hearing them before. My mother must have told
me at least once that she loved me. I know she did, but I can’t remember it.

Mia’s
depressed now because she wants me to say I love her too.

“Words aren’t
my strong suit,” I tell her instead.

Mia nods then
stands up and walks inside. Figuring she’s angry, I don’t follow. Soon, her
absence bothers me and I must chase after her.

Mia sits on
the couch with a blanket wrapped around her. Joining her, I can’t say what she
wants to hear. I don’t know if what I feel is love. I want Mia to understand me
enough to know I can’t pretend.

“I wanted to
die when Rodent killed my baby,” she whispers from farther down on the couch.
“Tonight, I feel sad.”

“I know.”

“I need to be
close, but you push me away,” she says, standing up and moving in front of me.
“You think I’m a little girl because I have my doll. The toy was the only thing
that was ever mine. I’m not a child and I want you. Don’t push me away anymore,
Jake.”

Mia opens the
blanket and I see all her flesh before me. My gaze takes in the sight of so
much pale skin then my hands reach for her as she straddles me.

“I’m yours,”
she whispers and I sense her fear.

“Beautiful
Mia.”

When I cup
her right tit, her hips buck on my lap then settle back down. She’s focused on
my face while I caress her nipple between my thumb and index finger.

No longer are
we waiting for that special moment. Hell, I don’t know how to make fucking
special. Flowers, candles, shitty music feels wrong. Those are lies because we’re
not romantic people. We are the children of evil. I’m a man with blood on my
hands while Mia lives with shame in her heart. Broken by life, we can’t lie to
each other. This realization is when I understand.

Mia knows me.
For her, I’m not Gator. I’m not the scars or the fearsome look or the body
women drool over. I’m not a killer or a man to be redeemed. I’m just me. Failed
and fucked up. I’m ruined by life, yet live on to ruin others. I’m complicated
and simple. I’m her savior and just the kid trapped in the swamp with monsters.
I’m everything and nothing. Mia knows me in a way no one ever has and this is
what makes our kiss special.

I know her
too. Mia is ruined, but I see the light flickering stronger in her every day
we’re together. Wanting to survive and flourish, she can be anything to others,
but she’s real to me. I see the child crying in the dark and the whore hiding
in her head while servicing evil men. I know her and she is perfect in her
flawed fucked up way. She’s everything I need to make life mean something.

When she
shivers violently under my touch, I know she’s not afraid. The arousal startles
her. I see in her wide eyes how it feels so new. She is both frightened and
amazed. The flicker of light inside her burns brighter as she leans into my
caress.

My hands are
filled with her warm flesh as I stroke her nipples until the pink nubs point at
me. When I raise my lips to find hers, they meet mine eagerly. She moans into
my mouth as I pinch her nipples playfully.

Once my lips
leave hers, I tug her closer and suck her nipple into my mouth. Mia’s fingers
slid into my hair as I suck harder. Her moans are soft and full of surprise.
When my teeth tug at her nipple, she whimpers my name.

My arousal is
nearly uncontrollable now. I pick up Mia in one easy movement and my lips never
release her nipple. She holds on, her fingers gripping my hair. When I bite her
nipple before resting her on the bed, Mia’s hips buck. I finally release her
tit and stare into Mia’s eyes. They’re wide, filled with shock and joy.

My fingers
test her pussy, finding it moist. Though not wet enough for me to work myself
inside without causing pain. I don’t know if this is the best I can hope for
with a woman so broken. She stares at me and smiles in a way that says I can
have her now. I don’t have to wait, but I do.

My gaze locks
onto her throat. There’s a short thick scar where her neck meets her shoulder.
Is this a mark from when the bastard nearly killed her? Or was it from another
horror in her short life? Either way, I lower my lips and suck at the flesh.

Mia shivers
and opens up to me. Her whole body goes soft under my touch and her pussy warms
and dampens against my fingers.

My lips suck
at her shoulder then each hard nipple is bathed by my tongue. She’s breathing
faster now, wiggling around like she can barely tolerate the pleasure. Smiling
at her arousal, I slide down between her legs.

Her bare pussy
spreads for me and I see just how aroused she is now. I enjoy a taste and Mia
whimpers.

“You taste
like mine,” I whisper and she lifts her head to see me.

“Please.”

Whether she
wants more or for me to stop, I really don’t care. Her flavor is all I can think
about as I lick again. I can’t hear over Mia’s moans, but there is nothing in
the world more beautiful than the sounds of her pleasure. I suck at her clit
and she loses control.

Mia comes
hard. As her hips grind against my unyielding lips, she lets out a guttural
noise like none I’d heard before. Wild and deep, the cry erupts from inside her
and I nearly stop. Mia sounds terrified and broken. Ripped to her core.

I don’t
yield. Instead, I bring her down from the powerful orgasm until she’s limp on
the bed, her breathing ragged and expression lax. I climb over her and find her
lips.

She doesn’t
respond at first then her limbs wrap around me. Even weak from a lifetime of
malnourishment, she holds me with power. Her lips respond to mine, lick and
tasting. She savors what I created in a body accustomed to hating sex. A body
never knowing trust. A body released from so much pain.

As her lips
devour mine, Mia’s hips arch upward and my cock rubs against her stomach. She
is unhinged, yet never more relaxed. I break free of her grasp and lick her
chin, throat, and suck her nipple into my mouth. Mia shudders under me. Her
hands are in my hair, teasing and soft. Her hips remain eager, searching for
me.

Mia cups my
face and tugs me upward. Her hands move to my hips and she wants me higher. Understanding,
I crawl over her, so my hard cock is at her lips.

Mia sucks at
my flesh hungrily. She must know how close I am because she doesn’t tease. Her
hands stroke me rhythmically while her lips wrap around the head of my cock. A
few wonderful deep sucks and I let go. My hands caress her hair as I close my
eyes and enjoy the relief.

Mia sucks me
dry, yet doesn’t pause. She licks the head and caresses my cock and balls until
I’m hard again from her touch.

When I kiss
her, she smiles and wraps me tightly in her arms. I sense she’s proud at
bringing me pleasure. After a lifetime of serving the desires of people she
hates, she wants to give to the man she loves. Sucking me off isn’t about
carnal needs. It’s about sharing herself in a way I’ve never had a woman share
before. So much more than fucking, this is intimacy in its basest form.

“Jake,” she
whimpers when my cock spreads her pussy.

“Mia,” I
whisper because she needs to know I see her. No one else. Only Mia exists for
me now.

Propping
myself up over her, I thrust deeper until I fill her completely. Her pussy is
so hot and wet that I pause just to enjoy the feel of it sucking softly at my
cock. Mia’s hands are on my arms, stroking my shoulders and chest. She’s awake
in a way I’ve never seen before. She’s completely here with me and her
expression is stunning when I begin to fuck her hard and deep.

By the time I
come, Mia has cried out so many times I’ve lost track. She even laughs at one
point at the pleasure she’s found. I know how she feels. Her pussy is like
nothing I’ve ever felt because it is mine. I own everything that is a part of
Mia especially her heart.

After we fuck
as much as our bodies allow, I hold her in my arms. Her back is to my chest.
Her legs curl around mine. My cock remains deep inside and unwilling to leave
her body. Mia wiggles her ass to push me deeper then closes her eyes and dozes
off. I follow her into sleep and dream of her smile.

Mia

Jake loves to
fuck. This doesn’t surprise me. He’s a primal man who devours his passions. I
know Jake would have waited forever, but life is short and ugly. Once I offer
him a chance at relief, he takes it hungrily.

Until Jake, I
hated fucking and having something inside my body. Leaving me sticky and sore, men
acted as if I was no more important than the trash they scraped off their
shoes.

Jake is mine
though. He makes me come and come until I feel like I have no other reason to
live. As if my whole existence is to enjoy his body as he enjoys mine. We don’t
have candles and flowers. It’s not the romance I saw on TV, but it’s more
beautiful than I ever dreamed.

I don’t
understand how something as vile as fucking can now be so magical. Jake makes
it happen while I try to keep up.

Jake loves me,
but can’t say the words. Maybe he doesn’t know he feels the same way I do, but
I know he loves me. Jake needs to love and be loved. He can’t understand this
yet.

I wish I
could tell him these things. Barely able to explain what I want for dinner, I
can’t express how important he is to me. So I hold on while he fucks me and I smile
at his pleasure. He looks at me like I’m magic and I feel like a different
person.

Despite his
pleasure, I sense a darkness wanting to destroy what Jake needs. While he
demands the world bow to him, he is his worst enemy. The only time I fear Jake
is when I wonder if the darkness will ruin me to keep Jake from being truly
happy.

Gator

After hours
of hitting every dive on the list Carz gave me, I can’t locate my last target.
I do hear someone talking about the cops looking for information about Rodent.
The men are laughing about the dead loser and wondering if his kid is getting
fucked properly. My temper isn’t always something I can control and those two
bastards learn this fact the hard way when I shove their heads together. No one
in the bar gives a shit as they fall to the ground and I storm out.

Returning to
the hotel, I find Mia sitting on the couch with her tablet. The snow globes are
lined up on the table and the doll rests next to her. Any thought of her as a
child ends when I see her face.

Her mind is
on fucking. She’s thinking about me inside her. I know she feels me between her
legs.

She’s afraid
now. I see that in her eyes too. Taking off her headphones, she focuses on the
bag in my hand.

“Come,” I
say, holding out a hand to her.

Mia obeys,
but she’s truly afraid. We move to the bedroom and I remove the lubricant. Her
fear is nearly visible in the air. When I look at her, Mia seems smaller.
Shoulders inward, she prepares for pain.

“I need to
have what others had. I have to own all of you. Do you understand?”

Nodding, Mia
glances at the lubricant. She’s not with me in the room. Feeling her leaving, I
graze her nipples with my knuckles. Mia flinches even while her body responds.

“Do you love
me?” I whisper.

Her gaze
shifts and is less afraid now. “Yes.”

“Do you trust
me?” I ask, still whispering. “Do you know I’m not the other men?”

Mia’s hands
reach for me. Her gaze warms as her fingers tease my chest.
She really likes
my chest.
I take off my shirt and toss it on the floor. Mia immediately
steps closer as her hands explore. A smile appears on her face until she
glances at the lubricant.

“Did you come
for me?”

Mia’s gaze
returns to my face and she thinks about my words.

“I remember
you coming hard for me.”

My words
calming her, Mia smiles as her fingers explore again. “I won’t cry. I never cry
during sex.”

A rage rises
up in me, but I shove it back down. I’m in control of our future and rage isn’t
the answer.

“Cry out my
name, you mean?” I tease, lifting an eyebrow while removing her shirt.

Mia seems
confused. She’s fucking with me though. Behind her bland gaze, I see her
remembering me inside her. It felt good and she wants to feel good again.

“I’m going to
make you come,” I promise as her bra joins her shirt. “No one makes you come
except me.”

“No,” she
says, breathing fast. “Only you.”

My lips find
hers and I steal her breath while shoving down her sweatpants. Mia is soon
naked in front of me and I want satisfaction immediately. Struggling against my
needs, I turn her around and have her rest on her knees and elbows on the bed.

Despite her
promise not to cry, I hear her whimper the minute I touch her. She sounds close
to losing control, so I nuzzle my lips against her ear.

“Your pussy
remembers me,” I say, caressing her hair. “It misses me.”

Even afraid,
Mia smiles. “It misses you so much.”

My lips are
on her cheek then her shoulder and down her spine. Waiting, Mia’s dreading what
comes next, but I don’t focus on her fear. My mind is on her ass sticking up
for me to notice.

Kneeling down,
I admire her pink pussy before me. When I nuzzle it with my lips, Mia gasps and
rests her head on the pillow. Her body relaxes even more when I take a deep
lick. She’s putty in my hands now and I haven’t even made her come yet.

I suck at the
lips, still swollen from our fucking the night before. Mia wiggles her butt in
pleasure and I lick deeper. She’s so wet now that I can’t get enough of her
flavor.

As I lick
deeper, my finger teases her asshole. She’s too relaxed at what I’m doing to
her pussy to think of anything else. The lubricant allows my index finger to
enter her gently. Mia groans as I bring her closer to the edge before she
crashes hard into an orgasm.

Mia cries out
my name and I love her frenzied voice. Sucking at her clit, I work my finger
into her ass until I’ve filled her. Mia doesn’t even seem to notice. She’s in a
state of arousal that blinds her to everything else.

I remove my
finger then turn her around so she’s facing me. Mia’s lips are on mine and she
moans loudly into my mouth. I suck at her tongue as I lean her back on the bed.
Mia clings to me, wanting more, but I take a pillow and rest it under her hips.
Her dripping pussy is lifted up along with her ass for me to admire.

“Jake,” she
murmurs, completely in awe of me as my thumb makes little circles over her
clit.

“Mia,” I
whisper as my free hand rubs lubricant over my cock.

Wet from
pre-cum and lubricant, the head of my cock quickly dampens her asshole. A
gentle push and it disappears an inch inside her. Mia squirms a bit then rolls
her eyes back as my cock fills her a little more.

My thumb
keeps up the pressure on her clit and she’s never able to panic. Her body is close
to coming again as I stretch her. By the time I find a deep and steady rhythm,
Mia is crying out my name again.

When Mia rubs
my chest with her feet, I wrap my arms around her legs. Holding her snugly, I
thrust faster, taking an inch more until I’ve completely filled her.

“Play with
your tits for me,” I demand and a flushed Mia obeys. “Lick your fingers and wet
your nipples.”

Quickly, her
damp fingers pull at the hard nubs. The sight of her pleasuring herself is too
perfect and I let go inside her. Mia’s toes curl as I lean forward, pushing
deeper still. Still tugging at her nipples, she moans my name. I pull halfway
out then thrust back inside and Mia stares at me. Again, I pull out and thrust
hard into her. She flinches, but doesn’t try to stop me. She watches as I take
what I want. I’m the master of her body and no man existed before. She accepts
my dominance and relaxes as I thrust hard again.

Once I know
she has submitted and no longer fears what I want from her, my cock leaves her.
I watch her ass slowly close after the hard fucking.

Tugging Mia
to her feet, I kiss her. She’s still playing with her nipples when I lift her
up and carry her to the shower. Under the hot water, we soap up and she washes
my cock lovingly before sucking it into her mouth. I hold her head tight and
let her pleasure me. She likes having this control and I relax against the wall
while she takes me as deeply as I took her ass. Once I fill her mouth, she
looks up and shows me what she did. Though I think to tell her it’s unnecessary,
I remain silent. She’s proud of herself and I don’t blame her. She sucks great
cock.

Her fingers
are back at her nipples once she stands and I know she wants me to fuck her.
She wants to come. I carry her back to the bed because I like how relaxed she
feels in my arms.

Taking the
place of her fingers, I suck at her nipples, teasing them with my teeth. Mia’s
hips work against my stomach, wanting relief only my cock can provide. I
finally lift myself over her and fill her hungry pussy. She whimpers as her
hips and mine collide. They work together to bring us relief. She comes first
and I see her playing with her tits then her fingers go to her clit. She’s
exploring her body and mine. No longer the whore waiting for the fucking to end,
Mia’s a woman demanding pleasure of her own. She and I find it again and again.