For Nicky (4 page)

Austin was all about sex after that. He was constantly trying to find places where we could be alone. The sex didn’t hurt so much anymore but it certainly wasn’t the way I had thought it would be. He’d kiss me, squeeze my boobs, stick a finger inside me, and then strip my pants off. He never even undressed me or himself; his pants were usually just down far enough to get himself out. Luckily, the condom always had a little lubrication, because I was never ready for him. That fact never seemed to affect Austin. He’d just root his way in, grunt and groan for a couple minutes, then collapse on top of me. I don’t think he ever realized that sex sucked for me. Seriously, I was just a large scale hand-job for him. And, stupid
me, thought this was acceptable! Audrey was quick to let me know that I must have been doing something wrong if it wasn’t good for me.  Of course, it was my fault that the sex sucked.  It couldn’t have had anything to do with the fact that we were inexperienced high school kids who had no actual emotion between us.

One day, I was supposed to meet Austin at his house after school. His parents were never home so I walked on in and headed to his room. I heard some knocking noises and then voices. When I got to his room, the door was cracked. Audrey was on top of Austin, her back to his face, riding him in a way that they both seemed to greatly enjoy. Austin didn’t see me, he was obviously too busy, but Audrey looked right at me and smiled an evil grin. As Austin shuddered and came, Audrey just smugly said, “
Ooops, I guess you weren’t doing it well enough, Beth. I told you that you were going to lose your man!”

At first, I didn’t know who I was angrier with, Audrey, Austin, or myself. I decided to let myself off the
hook, I had been played by both of them. So, while I was sad that I’d given something to Austin that he didn’t deserve, I wasn’t mad at myself for falling for it. I was mad at Austin, but he’d also just been a pawn in Audrey’s game. I was hurt and irritated that he played Audrey’s game for the whole time we dated. Oh, yeah, Audrey relished telling me that part. “Oh, Beth, you can’t think that Austin stayed with you that long without getting a little something on the side, can you? I’d been fucking him the whole time you dated! In fact, the only way I would keep fucking him was if he played my little game. Don’t feel bad, you never would have kept him interested when he had me to turn to. Don’t you get it? I control everyone around me. I made sure you walked in on us that day! The look on your face was priceless!”

So, yeah, after being totally played by my sister and one of her many boy-toys, I swore off dating for a while. I did go out a few times in college, but I was always very leery. Who knew how far Audrey would go to mess with me and make
herself feel powerful and in control? So, I stuck to mostly friends and just focused on my studies. But, now, I’m feeling lonelier and I’m feeling like I want to try dating again. But, with Audrey in town, there’s no telling which guys she’s slept with (or, more accurately, which ones she HASN’T slept with) and I don’t know what horrible stories she’s told about me to the guys in town. Audrey has never, and probably will never, apologize for the situation in high school. I sort of let it go, and I just take good days with Audrey when I can. Sometimes I feel like it’s just not worth the confrontation with Audrey; she plays dirty and I can never win. It makes me sad because all I’ve ever wanted is to have a sister and a friend.

Audrey moved to town to be with my dad and me shortly after we moved here. I’m not exactly sure why she wanted to be close to us, unless it was just so she could mess with me. Audrey didn’t go to college, she was more the school of life type. She’s had a lot of jobs. Starbucks, waitress, and cashier didn’t work out because she’s not good with taking orders from people or being polite unless it suits her. She worked for about one week at a childcare center. The parents complained about her immediately. Her clothes, her words, her lack of compassion, all of those things meant that she wasn’t quite suited for the childcare industry. She tried working at the library along with me but complained that it was “so boring to just sit around looking at books.” I’m pretty sure she tried exotic dancing for a while. She wasn’t very specific, but I think she got fired for having sex with the customers. When a guy pays money and the girl has sex with him, it’s usually frowned upon. In fact, I’m almost positive it’s called prostitution.

So, Audrey has a varied work history but she seems to have landed the perfect job for her now. Did I mention that Audrey is now a party planner? She’s really good at it, of course.  It helps that she’s the ONLY party planner in town.  She’s constantly doing kids’ parties, bachelorette parties, weddings, baby showers, etc. Audrey has been bugging me to have a party at the community center.  Ok, maybe badgering is a more accurate word. She said it would be good for business, both hers and mine, but I think she’s more concerned about her business than mine.  She also said the center could use it as a socializing activity.  I believe her exact words were, “
Those
types of people you work with don’t stand a chance in the real world, so let’s give them their own little party so they can at least try to seem less like freaks.” Um, yeah, Audrey isn’t real comfortable around differently abled people.  I know it’s wrong but I just ignore her comments, it’s easier than confronting her about it.  I love the people I work with and I consider them all special and unique individuals.  Anyway, I finally gave in to Audrey’s constant requests and let her start planning a party.  She thought an October Fall party would be good.  So we decided on a Saturday afternoon in mid-October.  We were planning on all the typical fall stuff—hay rides, bobbing for apples, pumpkin carving, and all sorts of yummy fall themed food.  I’m a sucker for anything pumpkin-y so fall foods are a must!  We sent out pumpkin shaped invites to all the students and workers at the center, and we put up signs all around town.  I was actually getting really excited about the party.  I could tell the students were super excited. One of my favorite students, Nick, was almost beside himself with excitement.  He was looking forward to showing me how he could read part of a book I had suggested for him.  But, mostly, he was excited for me to meet his twin brother, Nathan.  I wasn’t expecting much from meeting his brother, after all, my track record with guys was pretty crappy.  But, I figured if I went into the meeting with no hopes, it would be easier when the brother smiled casually at me and then turned a heated gaze toward my sister.  So, I agreed to meet Nathan.  For Nicky.

I am really excited about the Fall Party at the center.  I want to show Miss Elizabeth how I can read that book she gave me.  I also want to play games and eat treats.  I am excited about the hayride with my friends.  But, the best part is my brother, Nate, is coming!  He’s been to the center before but he’s not been there since Miss Elizabeth came.  He’s going to love her. I want her to be Nate’s girlfriend so she can be like my sister and my friend. Some people think I’m not smart, but I know enough to know that Nate likes girls.  He never brings girls around; I think he doesn’t want to mess up our brother time.  But, Nate will love Miss Elizabeth, I just know it.  She’s so smart and so pretty.  I love our brother time, but I would be happy to let Miss Elizabeth play video games with us. I would even give up video games and start reading more books for Miss Elizabeth. I wonder if she could talk Nate into reading books. He’s not much into reading.

Ugh!  This party at the center is starting to really bug me!  I just want to get it over with. I know I suggested it, and it’s good for my business, but it’s still annoying me. We are hoping that businesses around town will see how great the center is and offer materials and money throughout the year to help out.  My sister is good at what she does, but the more money and materials she can get, the easier her job will be.  My sister is…..well, she’s just Beth.  Sure, I give her a rough time, but she just makes it so damn easy. She has brown hair, grey-green eyes, and a decent body that she hides under ugly clothes. Well, I guess they aren’t ugly, but they aren’t stylish like mine. She runs a lot so she’s in good shape. I wish she’d wear her contacts more but she tends to wear jeans and glasses way more than I’d like.  She’s always been shy and quiet.  Honestly, I feel bad for her sometimes because a lot of people thought she was sort of freaky when we were growing up. But, she seems happy being her freaky, quiet, little boring self so I’ll let her be the spinster librarian and I’ll continue being the fabulous one! And, not to brag, but I am pretty fabulous!! While Beth has plain brown hair and grey green eyes, I have gorgeous blonde hair and big blue eyes.  Beth has a light dusting of freckles, but my skin is flawless.  We both have a great mouth with full red lips; but I definitely know how to use mine better! Beth isn’t tall, maybe about 5’7” but I’m more petite at 5’4”.  Everything about Beth is average, in my opinion, whereas I’m more knock out material.  I mean, I’m obviously hot because I can get any guy I want.  Sex for me is recreational.  It’s not love or special.  It’s hot and heavy and meaningless.  And I’m always in control; I call the shots, I’m in power. The guys, and few girls, I sleep with know this and we always have fun with no strings or expectations.  Like I said, sex is just fun.

Anyway, I am getting pretty
creeped out about this party.  Every time I’m at the center, the students get way too close to me and they just want to babble about the food and the games.  I just don’t get these “handicapped” people. Can’t they tone it down a bit?  Eeeewww, stop with the hugs and touching.  I understand they are retarded or whatever, but maybe they should just stay home then.  The rest of us shouldn’t have to be made uncomfortable just so they can have a meaningless, dead-end job.  Like, this guy at the grocery story, I think his name is Nicholas.  He found out that Beth is my sister so now he tries to talk to me all the time about “Miss Elizabeth.”  He’s always smiling and almost jumping up and down; it’s embarrassing really, for him and for me if anyone saw me around him.  Seriously, just sack my groceries and don’t speak to me. Eeeewww! I need this party to be over so my business can pick up and then I can be done with these freaks!

After basketball practice, even though I had run suicides with the boys, I went for a run around the track. The sun wasn’t completely gone and the track had lights which I’d already turned on with my keys; there are benefits to being a coach at the school. I planned on getting at least three miles in. Running was not just exercise for me, it was also an escape. Probably, no strike that, definitely a much healthier escape than the detached, emotionally voided sex I liked to
have. When I ran, I forgot about threatening people and fighting for Nicky. I forgot the anger I felt all the time. I forgot the countless girls I screwed just for pleasure. I just ran. The burning in my legs and chest were welcome.

It was a Tuesday and I didn’t really expect to see anyone else at the track. Only coaches had keys to turn the lights on so most people wouldn’t be running when they knew it was going to be dark soon. Needless to say, I was a little spooked when I sensed, rather than saw, someone behind me. I had my music on but I just felt that I wasn’t alone. I slowed down a bit and pretended to check my time while the other runner passed me. I was even more surprised to see that the runner was a woman.
A fit and gorgeous woman from the look of her legs and backside. She wasn’t super tall but maybe slightly above most average height women; she would probably come to right about my chest. Her thick dark hair was in a ponytail and whipped around behind her. I started running again and had to sprint a little to catch up to her; I’d let her get too far ahead while I ogled her. I fixed my eyes on her ass. And a very fine ass it was indeed. I felt myself bouncing between being irritated that she was risking her safety by running by herself so close to dark and being totally turned on by her tight ass. In reality, Torey Hope was about as safe as you can get and I HAD turned on the lights so technically she wasn’t running in the dark. And she wasn’t by herself, she was with me. I was safe even though she didn’t know that. So I switched to feeling turned on while I continued to watch her butt in those tight running pants. We kept up our individual paces; she seemed to be here for the long haul. I figured she started pretty much right after me; how long was she planning to run? I decided that I was enjoying watching her way too much to give it up, so I would run until she was done. Luckily, I was in good shape because “Miss Sexy Backside” could run. We ended up going a total of 10 miles by my count, and I wanted to fall down and kiss the ground when she finally stopped; however, being a guy, I couldn’t let her know that 1) I had been running whatever she was running and 2) I was dead tired, so I went one more lap while she did her cool down stretches. She seemed to have her music pretty loud, but I knew she knew I was there, however, she didn’t ever acknowledge me.

Thursday, I decided to run in the park since we didn’t have practice that day. I got to the park in plenty of time to get a run in before dark. I had to laugh at my luck when I saw “Sexy Backside” again. She was on the other side of the pond, but I knew it was her from her form and stride; I’d watched it long enough Tuesday night to recognize it now. I wondered who this girl was. She didn’t look familiar to me. Torey Hope is a small town so I was surprised I hadn’t seen her before. Part of me wanted to talk to her, ask her name, see if she’d be interested in a date or something (more likely I was interested mostly in the something part of that) but she just had an aura of good girl around her and I wasn’t looking for taking my time with a good girl. I didn’t want someone I had to wine and
dine, I just wanted something easy and quick with no mess or strings. But, dang, the girl sure was a sight to behold. Maybe I could figure out her running schedule? I guess I could offer to let her know the nights I’d be able to turn the track lights on for her. Nah, probably easier if I just let it go and enjoyed watching her when I got the chance. But, now that I’m thinking of her ass, I realize that I should probably get laid pretty soon.