For Nicky (17 page)

Did my sweet, shy Libby just propose that we take things a step further and invite me to spend the night? I’ve died and gone to heaven. Maverick is ready to skip dancing, but he needs to realize that dancing is the perfect foreplay without pushing the sex thing.

There are quite a few bars in Torey Hope, but most of them are total dives which means we had our choice between dancing at the country music club or the pop music club.  Libby chose the pop club because she said it matched our outfits better.  My silly girl, I couldn’t care less about the music genre, I just want to hold her close and dancing gives me the perfect excuse to have her body pressed into mine.  We walk into “The Club” and the air is charged with sweat, rhythm, anticipation, and sex.  Libby and I find a cozy little booth and order drinks.  She’s not much of a drinker and neither am I, but we both had a bit of wine with dinner and order alcohol for our first round of drinks. I know we’ll both switch to water or soda by round two.  Libby cuddles up next to me, and I find my hand on her leg.  She shivers a little as my hand inches up under the edge of her dress. “Libby-girl, you stop me anytime you feel I’ve gone too far. This isn’t why we’re here, but I want to move to whatever the next step is if you’re ready.  If you’re not, just say the word, and we’ll stop.” Libby’s enchanting eyes look up into mine, and I’m mesmerized.  I notice her cheeks are flushed and her breathing is heavy. I lean in and capture her lips with mine as I slide my hand farther under her dress.  Her skin is so damn smooth and her tongue dancing with mine has my own breathing getting heavier.  Under the table, my fingers graze the edge of Libby’s panties.  Hell, they feel lacy. Damn, my girl is all kinds of secret sexy. As Libby’s legs part slightly, her hand moves up my leg and settles between my legs.  Needless to say, Maverick takes this opportunity to stand up and be noticed, begging like a dog.  I don’t have a lot to go on, and I don’t go around comparing dicks with other dudes, but the girls who have been up close and personal with mine have always led me to believe that it was fairly large. We break our kiss and the shock and anticipation in our eyes is only slightly shadowed by the desire.  The waitress arrives and we cool down by sipping our drinks and talking about work.  I love to talk to Libby and listen to her talk.  We are never at a loss for things to talk about. I seriously love this girl and want to scream it from the top of buildings.  Instead, we finish our drinks, both order bottled water, and head to the dance floor.

Libby and I dance a few dances amidst a crowd of people.  The beats were strong, the music loud, the sweaty bodies pressing close, but we were having fun.  The DJ took a break and a slow song came on.  A few single guys and girls left the dance floor, but most of the couples stayed.  I took Libby in my arms and settled my hands around her waist as her arms settled around my neck.  Our bodies were flush together, touching from stomach down. I swear I felt Libby rub her belly against me. Maverick definitely felt it. I raised an eyebrow and smirked at her. She blushed and put her head on my shoulder.  “
Nuh-uh, Libby, look at me sweet girl. You can touch me any way you want.  If it’s not appropriate for the club, catalog it in that beautiful mind of yours to try out later, ok? I’m yours, do to me what you want.”

Oh my!  I’ve only had less than stellar, no, let’s be honest here, I’ve had totally crappy experiences with a penis to compare it to, but Nate feels much bigger and harder than I could have ever imagined.  When I AM ready for sex, and my body is betraying my mind right now saying I’m ready tonight, I’m not sure there’s any way something that big is going to fit. Wait, did Nate just say, “I’m yours.”?

I lift my head to gaze into Nate’s exquisite blue eyes. “Nate, what does ‘I’m yours’ mean exactly?” My voice shakes slightly as I ask this, as if something very important hangs on his answer.

Nate pulls me even closer, if that’s even possible, as
Labrinth sings “Beneath Your Beautiful” and whispers in my ear, “I’m yours, Libby. Lost in you. Ruined for anyone else. You are IT for me Libby-girl. I’ve never, in my whole life, felt even close to what I feel with you. At the risk of moving too quickly, I love you, Elizabeth Decker. I’m in love with you. I. Am. Yours.”

Tears well in my eyes as Nathan looks at me apprehensively. I can tell he’s worried about my reaction to his words.

“Nate, baby, you have wrecked me. I had accepted my life as the freaky sister who never finds love and lives in her sister’s shadow with seven cats. But you came along and rescued me, stood up for me, helped me to see that I didn’t have to stay in Audrey’s shadow. You’re teaching me that I’m beautiful and worth someone’s love. I want that someone to be you because I. Love. You. Nathaniel Morgan. I am 100% completely, soul-deep in love with you.”

With our hearts open and bare to each other, Nate crushes my mouth with a searing kiss right as the slow song we’ve been swaying to changes into a sexy thumping beat. Nate spins me around so my bottom is pushed up against his arousal, and all I can think about is grinding my butt against him. So I do. He growls and pulls me tighter against him and runs his hands from my waist up to the sides of my breasts
and back down. Nate’s lips are on my neck and I feel his tongue sending electric shocks straight to my core. I try to grind away the tingle between my legs, but it doesn’t work. I have never been so turned on in my whole life. This gorgeous, sweet, thoughtful, sexy man loves ME! If we were near a bed right now, I’m pretty sure I’d tie on a ribbon and present myself to him on a silver platter.

Fucking-A, I’m going to bust a nut on the dance floor.  As the warmth of Libby’s body scorches my skin, and the scent of her fills my head, I flip her around to face me.  With our arousals flush together, I edge my knee between her legs.  The heat of her core against my body does nothing more than fan the flames of my desire for her. She begins rubbing herself against my thigh and I can tell she’s frustrated.  It’s like she’s seeking something, but she’s not completely sure what she’s searching for.  I push my thigh against her and I swear I can feel the wet fieriness of her through my jeans.  I whisper in her ear, “Have you ever had an orgasm, Libby?” At the slight shake of her head, I continue, “No one’s watching sexy girl, just give into it and let it go.” She shivers as my hands brush the sides of her breasts and I let my fingers gently and quickly brush over her before I grab her head and kiss her like our lives depend on it.  I hear a moan in her throat and then I feel her legs tighten on my thigh.  I whisper in her ear as she rides out her release, “I love you, Libby, you are so
freakin’ sexy right now. I could watch you come over and over and never get tired of it.”

Libby whimpers and sags into me.  I kiss the side of her head and lead her to the table. She looks like she could use a break and a drink. Her face is flushed, her lips are swollen, her eyes have a sleepy look to them, and I know she’s wet under that dress as she takes long gulps of her water.  When she notices me watching her, she ducks her head sheepishly, obviously flustered by what just took place on the dance floor.  “Look at me, pretty girl, don’t you dare be embarrassed by what just happened between us.  That was the hottest thing I’ve ever witnessed, and I consider myself one lucky bastard to be the only one who has ever seen that. Your pleasure belongs to me and me only, Libby-girl.  You ready to head home?” She smiles gratefully and nods that breathtakingly beautiful head at me. I stand from the table and hold my hand out to her. We walk, hand-in-hand, to the Jeep and I hold her door open. The ball is in Libby’s court. Will she decide she wants me to stay tonight or will she send me home?

I’m leading toward feeling ashamed for dry-humping my boyfriend’s leg and coming on the dance floor, but his words push away the embarrassment and all I can think about is that I want to do that again. And, as much as I want to feel that again, I want just as much to own his pleasure the way he owns mine. “I’m totally ready to head home. And, just so you know, you can see THAT anytime, but I want to learn about giving you pleasure, too.” Nate’s growl made me chuckle and I smiled in anticipation as we headed to the Jeep.  I told Nate to take the top off so we could feel the wind in our hair.  He grinned at me and brought me close for a hug and soft kiss. “God, I love you Libby-girl.”

I’m seriously horrible at video games. Nicky beats me every single time.  I’m not even getting any better.  And, Nicky doesn’t understand that you can sometimes let others win, so he plays hard every time. That’s what I like about Nicky. He’s always honest and never hides things. I may not be getting better at these
games, however, I AM getting better in my own life.  I won’t be done with therapy for a long time because it’s brought up some really bad shit that I’m having to face and deal with and heal from. I’ve had a few relapses that I’m not very happy about, but I’m learning from those as well. So, even though it’s HARD, I’m healing and fixing myself and I like myself a whole lot better now.  I’ve sworn off the use of the words ‘retard’ and ‘retarded’; for Nicky and others who would be hurt by the derogatory connotation.  I recognize I was a bully.  The WHY of my actions and behaviors is what will keep me in therapy for quite a while still.

I’m still overly concerned about my image, and I’m not comfortable around disabilities, except with Nicky.  I’m not ready for public outings with him yet, but I’m so glad he stood up to me and offered to be my friend.  Seems silly to be my age and happy to have a new friend, but I’m truly loving Nicky.  He’s sweet and everything is so simple with him.  He is very honest. He knows that lying is wrong so he always tells the truth; he doesn’t do it to hurt people, he just says things without beating around the bush. So he straight up tells me if my shirt is too tight or my hair is too big or my perfume too strong. I know Nate said those same things, but coming from him it was a hurtful rejection (even though I know he wasn’t trying to hurt me). Coming from Nicky it’s honesty from a friend who doesn’t have a hurtful bone in his body. So, for Nicky, I’m toning it down. As I drive Nick back home, I smile at how much more comfortable I am in a hoodie, yoga pants, and a pony tail!

When we arrive at Libby’s apartment, I decide to leave my bag in the Jeep so as not to appear presumptuous. I hold her hand and take her keys as we walk to her door.  I want to ravage her as soon as we walk through the door, but I’m forcing myself to move slower than that. We settle in on the couch after I get us both drinks and Libby changes into the cutest little t-shirt and flannel pants. How is that sexy? I have no clue, but it is. We decide to watch the movie playing on a local channel, and Libby cuddles up next to me.  After about 10 minutes, Libby sighs and looks up at me, “Is something wrong, Nate? Did I do something?” Her striking eyes look confused and border on hurt. I realize then that in trying to slow things down so that I don’t push her too quickly tonight, I’ve actually made her think I don’t want her. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Nate looks at me like I’ve grown two heads and I can instantly see that he had just been trying to slow things down for me. “Baby, believe me, there’s nothing wrong. Everything tonight is more than right. I want to kiss you and so much more.  I wanted to take you up against the door the second we walked in, but I don’t want to rush things.”

“Well, Mr. Morgan, how about we explore that kissing and so much more, and I’ll decide if I’m being pushed too far.  Maybe we’ll save the ‘up against the door’ for another time,” I retort with a grin.

In half
a second Nate’s lips are on mine and his hands are under my shirt. His hands are big and warm and my breasts feel heavy in anticipation of his touch. Nate gets up and turns off all the lights, but leaves a small one on. “So I can see every bit of you,” he says as he comes back to me and kneels in front of me between my legs.  With a smirk and a questioning eyebrow he indicates to my shirt. I reply with a smile and nod. He removes my shirt and the silence around us is broken by a deep growl that reverberates in his chest when he sees my black lacy bra.  He kisses my stomach with his warm lips and his tongue flicks into my belly button causing me to shiver. His hands skim up my rib cage and then fill with my breasts. He murmurs something about a perfect handful and reaches behind me to undo the clasp. The cool air assaults my nipples and I feel like I’m about to hyperventilate in anticipation of what is to come.  Nate whispers, “You are so fucking gorgeous”, right before his mouth is on me. His tongue is hot and demanding as he moves from one nipple to the other. There’s no mistaking my moan and it seems to send him into a frenzy. He’s all tongue and teeth and then he’s kissing me again. He tears away, breathlessly, “Libby, baby, are you ok with more? Do you want to stay here or go to your room? You’re in the lead here, pretty girl.”

“My room
.”