For Nicky (8 page)

LIBBY!  He called me Libby.  I’ve always loved that nickname but never felt I could ask people to call me a certain nickname.  When I mentioned I liked Libby as a derivative of Elizabeth, Audrey had snorted and said it reminded her of a Barbie doll and since I obviously didn’t look like a Barbie doll it would be a stupid nickname.

But Nate called me Libby!  Right before I boldly ran down a list of why I couldn’t like him.  Not to mention I threw in there that my sister had to set up my first kiss and then spent the next year screwing my boyfriend and then I told him I thought he was extremely attractive.  Awesome!  Where’s my shyness when it comes to Nate? It obviously took a flying leap because I spoke to him very freely, not once worrying about what he may think of me.

I was in the community center, walking into my office to collect myself, when a firm hand grabbed my elbow and shut my office door quietly.  Nate faced me and lifted my chin with his finger so I could look into his eyes.  His eyes were hard yet sad.  “Libby, I am so very sorry about hurting your feelings and we will work through that total misunderstanding and asshole move on my part in just a bit.  But, first, we need to talk about your other reasons.  Number one, I had one disastrous night with Audrey and I see ZERO dates in our future.  I’m sure your sister is a nice girl, but she’s not the girl for me.  And, before you say anything, I told her that exact thing not even an hour ago.”

Ah, so that’s why Audrey had stomped away looking totally peeved. She doesn’t do rejection well.  Before I could say anything, Nate went to his next point.

“And, two, I can’t believe you’d ever think of yourself as the not pretty sister.  Sure, Audrey’s nice to look at, but she’s just too much and not real. You have genuine beauty from your hair to your lips to your body to those eyes of yours…..plus, you’re a beautiful person on the inside too.  You’re real and honest. I have seen you interact with Nicky; if he likes you then you’re perfect in my book. I know I was rude to you in the beginning, I’ve just always been so used to protecting Nicky, and I automatically jumped to the
wrong assumption that you might hurt him. Watching you with him while he read his book proved to me that you truly care about Nick, as well as your other students. I can’t believe I’m going to say this because it’s 100% NOT my usual conversation with a girl. But……you are seriously, without a doubt, the prettiest girl I’ve ever laid eyes on. And, I want to kiss that sweet pink mouth of yours right now. God, I want to so badly, but we need to straighten out a serious misunderstanding first because it’s killing me that I hurt your feelings. I’ve spent my life threatening people and punching people. Hurting them was always the goal if I found out they had hurt Nick. But, with you, I can’t stand the thought that I hurt you.” Nate paused, but kept looking in my eyes.  “Will you let me fix this, Libby?”

Please, please, please let her allow me to fix this.  I hate that I opened my big fat mouth and hurt this gorgeous girl.  I’ve never felt bad about physically hurting anyone, it was usually my goal. I’ve never worried about hurting my family because I’m always kind and honest with them. I’ve never worried about hurting friends or girls I dated because they all always knew the score before anything ever started. But, this innocent girl was hurt by my dickhead comment and I seriously worried that she would walk away and not let me fix this.

Imagine my surprise and delight when the next words I heard coming from Libby’s beautiful mouth were, “How about you kiss me first so I can decide if there’s anything even worth fixing?” Libby has a look of total disbelief on her face, like she can’t even believe the words that are coming from her own mouth.  It’s almost comical to watch the look of horror on her face as the words pour from her mouth as if she has no control of them. Her words and her sweet look of shock are enough to do me in. Damn, this girl.

No, no, no…..I did NOT just seriously ASK a guy I barely know to kiss me! 
A guy who, until today, treated me with wariness and indifference. A guy who has slept with my sister. Oh. My. Gosh! No, no, no. What is wrong with me!?!? Please, tell me I fell asleep in my office and this is all just a dream. No, it’s a nightmare! That’s what it has to be! Nope, I for sure just heard a very real, very sexy growl rumble through Nate’s chest right before he inched toward me and put his hands on both sides of my face and crushed his mouth to mine.  His lips are blazing hot yet they gentled immediately, almost like he realized this is something I’m not used to doing.  He’s right, I’m definitely NOT used to a kiss that curls my toes!  Austin Douglas was like kissing a toad compared to kissing Nathaniel Morgan. I NEVER had this type of reaction to kissing Austin! I’m pretty sure I moaned as I brought my arms up to his chest then moved them around behind his neck.  Nate Morgan, the guy I just recently met, the guy who picks me over Audrey, the guy I just wantonly suggested should kiss me, is kissing ME! No, check that, Nate Morgan is now FRENCH kissing me.  I feel his tongue gently probe at my lips then retreat.  I may or may not have whimpered when his tongue left.  But when he nipped at my bottom lip and I opened my mouth a bit in surprise, his tongue came back seeking entry. My insides melted like liquid metal as our tongues danced. Nate’s hand wrapped around the back of my neck and tilted my head to the side, allowing him to deepen the kiss. Just as my body felt like it was about to spontaneously combust, Nate slowed the kiss down, and then backed away with a few last little soft kisses against my lips. I am pretty sure I shuddered at the loss of his lips against mine. My heated body protested the cool air that took the place of his warmth as he stepped away from me. Nate looked at me with a dazed expression, smirked a little while shaking his head and ran his hand through his hair. Nate and I were both breathing as if we’d just sprinted around the track.  I don’t know how he can fix this supposed misunderstanding, but I’m totally on Team Nate with hopes he can make me understand his hurtful words.

Shit, I need to slow down.  I knew within 2 seconds of having my mouth on Libby that she has had very little experience with kissing.  But, damn, those moans and whimpers almost did me in.  As my tongue, which seems to have a mind of its own, gently probes at her lips, her soft pink tongue gingerly comes forward like she’s testing the waters.  The next thing I know, our tongues are involved in what I can only describe as a sensual dance and I’ve walked Libby up against the wall.  Maverick, who is obviously conspiring with my tongue to scare this sweet girl off, stands up tall and proud as if he’s waiting for a personal introduction.  I’ve had plenty of mind-numbing, meaningless, escapism sex. However, right at this moment, I want nothing more than to get Libby under me so I can worship her beautiful body and bury myself deep inside her; I know sex with Libby would be a v
ery emotional experience.  Whoa, which is exactly why I’m backing away and stopping this kiss. For now.  Never….NEVER have I reacted that way to a kiss.  We break apart, both breathing hard, both with heavy hooded eyes.  Then my Libby says the sweetest words with those kiss-swollen lips, “Um, yeah, I think there’s something there worth fixing.  So, Nathaniel Morgan, how are you going to heal my hurt feelings? Just what did I misunderstand?” Her gorgeous, mesmerizing eyes looked up at me with such hopeful expectation that I nearly felt my knees buckle.

I’ve always believed people when they told me, “You’ll know when you meet the right girl, you’ll just know,” and I’ve always trusted my gut and my heart to let me know.  Up until now, my gut and my heart have never even gotten more than just a little interested in any girl I’ve met.  I never paid much attention to feelings for girls because I never had any intention of taking things past a purely physical level; and, even then, I didn’t even allow most of those physical connections to evolve past a couple hookups. However, the second I laid eyes on Libby, I knew it.  My subconscious fought it, I tried to remain indifferent and detached, but I knew it. My gut knew it.  My heart knew it. 
Maverick knew it, but he can’t be trusted.  Libby is the one.  My head and heart feel all funny as scenes race through my mind….Libby and me against the counter reminiscent of my parents just this morning, Libby wearing a wedding dress, Libby with a belly swollen with our child, Libby and I growing old together. Holy shit, this is WAY more than I was looking for. Way more than I thought I wanted. Way more than I can probably handle. But, in this moment, my head and heart are in complete agreement. Libby is my future. Now I just have to fix this.

First, Audrey was right.
  Tongue CAN be fun. Holy cow! I want so badly for Nathan to fix this misunderstanding so we can have more kissing.  Actually, as damp as my underwear are right now, I obviously want more than just kissing but since I’m not Audrey that’s definitely  not happening. Seriously, all the times I had sex with Austin Douglas, or a more accurate description is that Austin Douglas had sex with me, I never got turned on for him. But, kissing a man I barely know has me turned on more than I’ve ever been. Speaking of barely knowing the man in question, how in the world have I gone my whole life barely dating or attracting attention from men, but now, after knowing Nate for only a couple weeks, I feel like I’ve known him forever and I want to spend time getting to know him even more?  Is this the “love at first sight” thing you hear about?  Is this what people mean when they say, “You’ll know when you meet the right one, you’ll just know.”? Because, as I look at Nate, all my reservations about dating fly out the window. I want hand holding and dates and flowers and dancing and cuddling on the couch and kissing, yes, lots of kissing, with Nate Morgan.

Nate takes my hand and smiles at me.  How can a simple gesture like hand holding seem so sweet and so right?

“Libby, I wasn’t talking about you when I referred to the freaky one.  I was referring to Audrey.  You are the pretty one.  Let’s go see my dad.  He already ripped me a new one for being rude so I’m sure he’ll be happy to see me learning my lesson AGAIN about name calling.  God, I feel like such an ass.”

We walked to the food tent and found the rest of the
Morgans eating.  Nate motioned for his dad to come over.  Before we left, I noticed two huge smiles on Cindy and Nick’s faces when they saw Nate holding my hand.  I loved my hand in his, but it also felt unreal that I’d just shared a mind blowing kiss with a man I barely knew and now I’m holding his hand.  My dating history is basically nonexistent, with the exception of the whole Austin Douglas screwing both my sister and me the whole time we dated situation, I’m shy and quiet and used to living in Audrey’s shadow with her insults and put downs to keep me company. That’s who Elizabeth Decker is. Isn’t it? The real Elizabeth Decker doesn’t go around kissing men who are practically strangers. The real Elizabeth Decker doesn’t fantasize about seriously dating a gorgeous man. Or, maybe this is the real Libby Decker and she’s just been waiting for Nate to bring her out?

“Dad, I need you to be honest when you answer my question even though it will paint me in a bad light.  I’ve hurt Libby’s feelings and I need to fix it.  Earlier when we were talking about the Decker girls and I referred to the prettier one not the freaky one, can you tell Libby what I said to you please?”

Dad looked hesitant and I knew he didn’t want to tell Libby what I’d said about Audrey, but he must have realized the importance of this when he looked at my pleading eyes.  So, with a red face, he said, “Well, Elizabeth, he said you were gorgeous.  He apologized for calling Audrey freaky but explained she was just too, too much for him.  Does that help clear up any confusion?” Thank you, Dad!

“Yes, Mr. Morgan, that was very helpful.  Thank you,” replied my sweet Libby. Whew! Crisis averted!

“You called ME freaky!?!?”

Uh-oh!  I guess this is a great lesson in keeping your damn mouth shut unless you have something nice to say!  Now I’ve gone and hurt Audrey’s feelings!  Damn, who knew she was within ear-shot?
Time to man up.

“Listen, Audrey, I’m sorry.  There’s no excuse for my
asshat move. I was name calling, and I was wrong.  Just because you’re not my type doesn’t mean you’re freaky.  Luckily, my dad didn’t play bystander and let me get away with my bully behavior.  He called me on it, and I appreciate it.  I’m sorry for calling you names.”

I didn’t let go of Libby’s hand that whole time I apologized and Audrey’s eyes flashed with envy and anger right before she lashed out, “Well, you’ll learn soon enough which one of us is the freaky one.  I love my sister, but she’s not enough
woman for you or any man.  Hell, under those plain clothes I bet she’s got even uglier granny panties.  She’s not hot, and she never will be.  She’s kissed and been with ONE guy her whole life, and I had to coerce him with sex with me just to get him to keep dating her!  She laid there like a limp rag doll during sex. I had to keep her man happy with real sex!  So, don’t count on her to keep up with your needs! You’ll find out soon enough that you need more than what Beth can give. When you’re ready for a real woman, you know where to find me. I can promise you hot and totally no-strings-attached sweaty sex any place, any time!”

I seriously have never been so shocked or angry.  My sweet Libby was mortified and we had drawn a crowd, including Captain Decker. I waited for his reaction.  I waited for him to stand up for Libby, his daughter.  But he just shook his head at Audrey’s rude, hurtful words.  I could tell these were insults that had been hurled many times before.

“Audrey, I won’t stand for you talking to or about Libby like that.  You say you love her, but you just said some very hurtful words to her and I get the impression this is par for the course with you the two of you.  You bully to make yourself feel better, she lets it happen because you’ve convinced her she’s beneath you, all while family and friends stand idly by.  All due respect, Captain Decker, but Libby deserves you stopping Audrey’s bullying and standing up for her. When you just shake your head or make excuses for Audrey, you’re confirming Audrey’s inaccurate insults in Libby’s mind.  Audrey, I’m sure you can take care of the tear down and clean up here.  I’m taking this gorgeous girl away from here for a little while.  When you’re ready, an apology is in order, and I can help you find someone to talk to about your reasons for bullying your sister.”

With that, I lead Libby to my Jeep with many wide eyes and open mouths in our wake. Even though I’ve never used my counseling degree in a professional aspect, it felt good to know I had the knowledge to pin down what was going on with Audrey and Libby. I had no clue what had happened in Audrey’s life that caused her to bully Libby. It could have been her mother dying. It could have been any number of things or a combination of many things. But, Libby and Audrey both need to work through this unhealthy relationship, and they both are going to need help healing from this. I want to walk beside Libby through the healing if she’ll let me. I can only hope that Audrey will see someone about this problem she’s having. If not, it could get ugly, and I worry about the repercussions for Libby.