For Better or Worse (Book 2 in the Forgiving Hearts Trilogy) (2 page)

“Life is full of surprises. At least this is a nice one.”

“I couldn’t agree more. Now, bring me up-to-date on everything. What have you been doing the last five years?”

She glanced away from him, knowing she had nothing good to tell him.
Why hadn’t she found an excuse to get out of this?
“Pretty much the opposite of what I planned to do.”

“That’s how it is sometimes. Things happen, and we have to adjust for them. Growing up I wanted to be of all things a firefighter. After the car accident made it impossible for me to do something so physically demanding, I had to look in another direction. I finally settled on physical therapy because even though it wasn’t nearly as exciting, I would be doing something that helps people.”

The arrival of their food was a welcome interruption. With any luck, she could steer the conversation back to Jackson. Hannah took a bite of rice and then realized he wasn’t eating. With heightened color and a muffled apology, she bowed her head. As she listened to his deep voice, she tried to remember the last time she prayed before a meal.

Anxious to keep him talking about himself, she said, “You haven’t changed at all.”

“How do you know?”

“I can tell by looking at you. You still have the kindest and bluest eyes I’ve ever seen.”

Jackson laughed. “Not many people take the time to notice my eyes.”

She smiled widely. “It’s their loss. Where are you working?”

“At the Hollis Clinic in Brunswick.”

“I know where that is. One of my coworkers needed a ride to her therapy appointments. Have you found a place to live?”

“I bought a house not far from where you work. I needed a yard for Freya.”

“Who’s Freya?”

“She’s my dog and the best friend a man could have.”

“I always wanted a dog growing up. Mom refused to have one and since I left home, I’ve lived in places that don’t allow pets.”

“There’s still time to get a dog, Hannah. You’re only twenty-two.”

“I feel older sometimes. Probably because I’ve made such a mess of my life.” That last bit was out before she could prevent it. Irritated with herself, she took a drink of water.

“It can’t be that bad.”

She sighed deeply. “It can, believe me.”

Jackson reached for the hot sauce. “I can’t if you don’t tell me anything.”

She fiddled with her fork and finally put it down on her plate. “Things started to go downhill after I went to college. I got in with the wrong crowd. Before long, I was going to parties and skipping class; all those things ‘good’ girls aren’t supposed to do. When my parents finally caught on to what I was doing, they showed up at my apartment to take me home. I hadn’t told them Mitchell was living with me.

“When I refused to leave, they stopped all forms of financial support. Mitchell suggested I get a full-time job to pay our expenses since he was so much closer to finishing his degree. Then we could get married, and I could return to school.” She stopped for a second, her eyes dropping to her lap. “I had no reason to doubt him; we’d been together for so long. I got a job at a grocery store and worked my way up to department manager. Mitchell graduated and found a position with a bank.

“When I mentioned marriage, he asked me to put it off another year. He wanted to pay off his student loans first. Then without telling me, he accepted a job in Atlanta. He talked me into going with him by giving me an engagement ring. Once we settled there, he kept finding reasons to postpone getting married. That was the last straw as far as I was concerned. One morning after he left for work, I packed my things and headed south. I knew this store was opening. I called in a favor and got a job. As you can see, I’m nothing like that girl you used to know.”

Reaching across the table, Jackson laid his hand over hers. “We all make mistakes, Hannah, but we also have someone who will forgive every one of them.”

She stared down at his hand. “I haven’t thought about God in a long time. I wouldn’t know what to say to Him.”

“You can start with ‘Thank You for loving me’ and go from there.”

It wasn’t as simple as that.
It couldn’t be. Didn’t Jackson realize what she’d done? And how far from God she was?
Her eyes met his briefly before falling away. “I hate to cut things short, but I have to open tomorrow which means I have to be up by five.”

As she watched him signal for the bill, she breathed a sigh of relief, glad he hadn’t tried to change her mind. His genuine concern was far more disturbing to her peace of mind than the shock and disappointment she’d expected. Hannah knew she’d be thinking about his words long after he was gone.

After handing his credit card to the waitress, Jackson smiled in Hannah’s direction. “I appreciate you coming with me tonight. This has been a nice break from unpacking boxes. Now I have to find my dress clothes so I can go to church in the morning.”

“It’s great that you still go to church.”

“There’s nothing stopping you from going. On your next Sunday off, come with me. We’ll be newbies together, and it won’t seem so strange.”

She avoided answering him by reaching for her purse. When he moved to stand behind her chair, she said, “You’re the total package, aren’t you?”

“What do you mean?”

“You open doors and hold chairs. I’m not used to that.”

Jackson shrugged. “It’s the way I was raised.”

“I guess that’s what I was trying to say. You do it without thinking about it. Thank you for dinner.”

“I should be thanking you. You made my first
and
second day in a new place special.”

She smiled uncertainly as if she didn’t believe him. “My apartment is only a mile further down this road. Do you mind dropping me off?”

“Not at all.”

* * * *

To say that Jackson was surprised by what Hannah told him was an understatement. In truth, he was still trying to get his head around it as he walked her to the door.
What had happened to the girl he fell in love with?
Hannah had been the posture child for ‘good Christian girl’, and he’d been around her enough to know she lived what she believed. She was the last person he would have expected to lose her way.

It angered him to think that after all she’d been through Mitchell let her down in the end. Jackson wanted her to be happy, not sad and disillusioned the way she was now. When she turned to him in the darkness, his lungs did their usual ‘refusing to suck in air’ thing.
Was he never going to outgrow such juvenile reactions? He was a grown man!

“I guess I’ll see you around – at the store, I mean.”

He jiggled the keys in his hand. “Is that the only way I can see you? I was hoping we could get together again.”

She looked at him in disbelief. “You still want to after all that stuff I told you?”

“What does that have to do with anything? I haven’t lived a perfect life, either.”

“No, but at least you can look at yourself in the mirror every morning. I won’t know my schedule for next week until tomorrow. Give me your number, and I’ll call you when I have a free evening.” She handed him her phone.

“A pink case. Why am I not surprised?”

She chuckled as she took the phone from him. “Goodnight, Jackson.”

As he drove home, Jackson compared his eager anticipation for the evening with reality. The dream of love he carried within his heart had received yet another blow. Mitchell might not be here physically, but it was clear he was still very much in Hannah’s life. Everything she’d done had been for the sake of a guy who wouldn’t marry her.

His hands clenched on the steering wheel.
If he could get close enough, he’d teach that ungrateful, selfish jerk a lesson he’d never forget.
A long, ragged sigh escaped him. “Yeah, that’s what you should do, Jackson,” he said out loud. “That’s exactly how men of faith handle these kinds of situations.”

He couldn’t help thinking how complicated and intricate love was. It turned a rational human being into a bundle of uncontrollable urges that were, for the most part, the exact opposite of what he or she really needed. If that wasn’t enough, it meddled with one’s common sense before aiming straight for the heart. Once it had taken up residence there, it was almost impossible to evict.

* * * *

Hannah spent the rest of the evening wishing she’d followed her first inclination and stayed away from Jackson. It wasn’t that she hadn’t enjoyed their time together. Far from it. She liked it too much for her own good. Being with someone who actually listened was a heady experience. That was why she’d told Jackson all those things. And once she started talking, she couldn’t stop.

He must have been shocked to find her so altered, but to his credit, his demeanor never changed. There hadn’t been disapproval or censure in his voice, only kindness and understanding. Jackson hadn’t fixated on her failures, but had instead tried to focus her on the present. In her mind’s eye, it was as if she was suspended between the woman she’d allowed herself to become and the woman she could be.

Into these troubled thoughts came the ringing of her phone. She didn’t know whether to be relieved or regretful.

“Hello, Bradley.”

“How was the trip down memory lane?”

“It was nice to see someone from home.”

“You didn’t mention why he was here.”

Hannah sighed soundlessly. Bradley was becoming what she most disliked in a man: possessive. A few dates didn’t give him the right to be so involved in her life. “He just started working at Hollis Clinic.”

“So he’ll be sticking around. I thought he was just visiting.”

“Does it matter? It’s been a long day, and I’m tired.”

“Which is why you should have met him some other time.”

She rolled her eyes. “Are we still on for tomorrow?”

“I hope so. I already made reservations.”

“Reservations? That sounds like I’ll have to dress up.”

Bradley laughed. “I’ll pick you up around six.”

“Sounds good. See you then.”

Setting the phone on the counter next to her purse, Hannah walked into the bedroom and kicked off her shoes. After a shower, she slipped her arms into a long-sleeved dress shirt and inhaled the musky scent of Mitchell’s cologne. An aching sadness welled up inside her.

Why did she still miss him?
She should be proud of herself for leaving and relieved that Mitchell hadn’t followed her. Only a fool would stay with someone so self-absorbed. So why couldn’t she move on? It had been eight weeks; eight long weeks of crying herself to sleep every night. She’d tried everything to forget Mitchell; nothing was working. And getting involved with Bradley had been a mistake. She wasn’t ready for another relationship.

Chapter Two

Jackson managed to find his suit and was able to visit the church whose tall steeple was easily visible from his subdivision. He enjoyed the sermon and felt comfortable enough to go there again.
If he could get Hannah to come with him, all the better.
The pain he saw reflected in her lovely eyes tore at his heart. He knew there could be no true happiness for a Christian living apart from God.

He spent the afternoon filling out the packet of papers provided to him by the human resources representative of the clinic. After dinner, he grabbed the leash, opened the door leading to the backyard and whistled for Freya. Within a few minutes, she was pulling him along the paved sidewalk.

“You’re like someone else I know. Always in a hurry. You’ve got to slow down and take time to smell the roses or whatever that saying is.”

Jackson was admiring a two-story Tudor-style house when a little girl on a red bicycle came out of nowhere. In trying to avoid hitting Freya, she ran into him. They both ended up on the ground. After one stunned moment, he lifted the bike off his legs and turned to see how his companion was doing. There were tears in her eyes, but he didn’t see any obvious injuries. She looked more frightened than hurt.

“We got a little tangled up, didn’t we? Are you okay?” He spoke in a soft voice, knowing from experience that his face could be scary to a child.

“I think so.” She scrambled to her feet and peered more closely at him. “What happened to you?”

“I was in an accident a long time ago. Let’s check you over and make sure you didn’t break a leg or anything.”

This drew a giggle from her. “How could I break my legs? I’m standing on them.”

“Oh, yeah, you’re right. My name is Jackson. What’s yours?”

“Amanda.”

“Well, Amanda, since you’re okay, we better check out your bike. Oh, I almost forgot to introduce you to Freya.” He turned to the dog. “Freya, where are your manners? Say ‘hello’ to Amanda.” Freya held out one large paw.

“Hi, Freya.” Amanda laughed and took the paw in her tiny hand. “She’s so big; I was scared of her at first.”

“But you’re not now, right?” Jackson moved the bike forward and backward a few times. “I think your bicycle survived our collision.”

“Here comes my mom.”

Jackson turned his head in time to see a woman almost as tall as he was walking in their direction.

“Amanda Samuels, you weren’t supposed to leave the driveway.”

“I know, Mommy, but I wanted to get a closer look at Freya. She’s Mr. Jackson’s dog. I ran into him with my bicycle.”

“That wouldn’t have happened if you’d obeyed.” The woman held out her hand to Jackson. “I’m sorry about this. I’m Laurel Samuels.”

“Nice to meet you, Laurel. I’m Jackson Steadman. I moved into the neighborhood yesterday.”

“You bought the Powell place? I saw the realtor take down the sign a few weeks ago. Are you from around here?”

“I’m from Cochran. I moved here to work at the Hollis Clinic.”

Laurel’s smile grew wider. “My husband works there. I’d introduce you but he’s not home at the moment.” They were interrupted by Amanda.

“Mr. Jackson, Freya just licked me.”

Jackson laughed. “Yeah, she does that to people she likes. It’s a disgusting habit.”

“Oh, I like it.” She looked at Laurel. “Mommy, I think we should invite Mr. Jackson and Freya to my birthday party next weekend.”

“It’s a kid’s party, sweet pea; I don’t think Mr. Jackson would be interested in coming.”

“How do you know? Have you asked him?”

“I’ll do that while you put your bicycle in the garage; it’s almost time for your bath.” After Amanda reluctantly left them, Laurel turned to Jackson. “I don’t want to put you on the spot. Her party is next Saturday at three. You’re welcome to drop by, with or without Freya. If you’d rather not, I understand.”

Jackson smiled. “I’ll try to make it. Can you give me some idea what to bring as a present? I don’t know anything about kids this age.”

“Don’t worry about bringing anything. She’s got too much as it is. If we don’t see you Saturday, I’m sure Amanda will run you down another time.”

* * * *

Jackson finished his walk without further mishap. When he got back to the house, he stretched out on the couch in the living room. “I think we’ve made a friend, Freya. I wish adult women were as easy to impress as little girls like Amanda.”

He reached over and pulled his Bible off the coffee table. After reading for a while, he bowed his head. “Father, I don’t know your plans for Hannah, but I pray that I can be of help to her. I know she’s hurting, and I also know that only You can heal a broken heart. In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.”

Arriving at the clinic the next morning, Jackson dutifully dropped off the paperwork to human resources and took the elevator to the third floor. His supervisor had asked him to come early before the patients arrived. He walked into a large open area containing treatment tables, exercise bikes, hot pack machines and rows of neatly stacked therapy equipment. The only person in the room was seated at a desk. At his approach, the woman looked up at him and smiled.

“Hey, Jackson. I’m glad to see you arrived in one piece. Give me a minute, and I’ll give you the grand tour. In the meantime, if you’d like some coffee, it’s in the cubbyhole behind you.”

“Thanks, Nicole. I never turn down coffee.” After fixing a cup, he sat down on one of the tables and looked around. This period of calm wouldn’t last long. In another half hour this place would be humming with activity.

“Okay, I’m ready. Let’s start on the physician side.”

Jackson stood up. “Sounds great.”

Nicole led the way down a long hallway carpeted in a restful shade of gray. They passed through a waiting room already full of patients. Jackson was shown the pods that housed the doctors, x-ray, MRI and orthotics departments, and finally the rehab side which included physical and occupational therapy. He was glad everyone wore badges because he knew he’d never remember all the names of the people Nicole introduced him to. They were almost to the gym when someone came up behind them.

“Nicole, Greta told me that Mr. Wallingford refused therapy yesterday.”

“Yes, he did. He said he was in too much pain.”

“When is he scheduled to come again?”

“Tomorrow afternoon – I think it’s three or three-thirty.”

“When he shows up, page me. I’ll talk to him.”

“That would be great. While you’re here, let me introduce you to our new therapist, Jackson Steadman. Jackson, this is Dr. Samuels.”

The man held out his hand, his brown eyes twinkling. “Nice to meet you, Jackson. I feel as if I already know you. My daughter has fallen for you in a big way.”

“I think my dog is the main attraction.”

“It could be. She’s been trying to talk her mother into a puppy and strangely enough, the latest pictures she’s shown us have been of German shepherds.”

“What does Laurel say about that?” Nicole asked with a smirk.

“She’s doing her best to steer Amanda toward something smaller. I suppose I should go see some patients.” His glance returned to Jackson. “It was nice to meet you. I hope you’ll enjoy working here.”

“I’m sure I will. Thank you, Dr. Samuels.”

As he walked away, Nicole asked, “How did you meet Amanda?”

“I bought a house in their neighborhood, and yesterday she ran into me with her bicycle.”

“All of the doctors here are talented, but Dr. Samuels is in a class by himself. He’s more than just a pretty face.”

“Well, I certainly hope so since he operates on people.”

Nicole shrugged sheepishly and pointed to a row of cubicles cleverly hidden behind a large mural. “Your desk is the third one down. Let’s go take a look at your schedule. I think your first appointment is at eight.”

From the moment his first patient arrived, Jackson didn’t have time to worry about anything else. The morning seemed to fly by as he acclimated himself to a new workplace and a new routine. He was trying to figure out the most sophisticated fax machine he’d ever encountered when Nicole tapped him on the shoulder.

“Ready for lunch?”

“I will be as soon as I send this fax.”

“Meet me in the gym when you’re done. I want to take you to Brunswick’s best kept secret. This place makes roast beef sandwiches that melt in your mouth. If you don’t like roast beef, they have other things as well.”

“I love roast beef.”

“Good. Do you mind driving? My boyfriend dropped me off this morning. He’s going to meet us there.”

Once they were on their way, Jackson said, “I hope your boyfriend won’t mind me barging in. I’m sure he’d rather eat with just you.”

“Don’t worry about it. All Marty has on his mind is the ’69 Dodge Charger he bought recently. The thing barely runs and is covered in rust. I don’t see the attraction.”

A wide grin formed on Jackson’s face. “It’s an acquired taste. Is he going to restore it himself?”

“He wants to, but he doesn’t know anything about it. Right now it’s taking up space in my garage.”

“I’m no expert, but I can get him on the right track. My dad did some restoration in his spare time, and I helped him with a few of his projects.”

“Marty will be thrilled to meet you. I won’t have to do anything but sit back and enjoy my lunch.”

Nicole showed him a shortcut from the clinic to what everyone called the beach road. In no time at all, he was maneuvering the big truck into the only remaining parking spot.

“Let’s go in and get a table. Marty will be late; he always is.”

The deli was crammed with people standing in line and sitting at tall, circular tables. If it had been left to Jackson, he would have gone somewhere else. In his opinion, no sandwich was worth this kind of punishment.

“Get in line while I find us a place to sit,” Nicole told him in a loud whisper.

He watched as she dove through the crowd with an efficiency that spoke of experience. Jackson was studying the huge menu boards adorning the walls and trying to ignore his growling stomach when she returned.

“Marty is holding a table for us. He hates standing in line.”

So did Jackson.
“Is it always like this?”

She nodded. “Once you taste the roast beef, you’ll understand.”

“Right now, I’m hungry enough to eat anything.”

Fifteen minutes later they were finally sitting down to eat. The two men were soon deep in a conversation about horse-power and torque that completely excluded Nicole. She watched them with the air of a proud mother, an amused smile coming and going on her face.

The parking lot was only slightly less crowded when they left the restaurant. As he opened the door of the truck for Nicole to get in, Jackson noticed a car pulling into the open spot on the other side. He walked around the rear of the truck to wait on the passenger of the car to get out. A man opened the door, but instead of exiting, he leaned toward the driver. Jackson realized with some amusement that they were kissing.

Rolling his eyes, he went back around the other way and stood on the sidewalk. Surely the affectionate couple in the car would notice he was waiting. He glanced into the truck long enough to see Nicole laughing at his predicament. Just when he decided to make his presence known, the driver of the car emerged. Jackson felt his heart drop into his shoes.

Hannah’s look of embarrassment would have been funny in other circumstances. As it was, Jackson wanted to be anywhere else. The man finally got out and joined her on the sidewalk.

“Hey, Jackson. Sorry we kept you waiting.”

“That’s okay.”

“This is too weird. I was just telling Bradley about running into you.”

She hadn’t been telling Bradley anything. She’d been kissing him.

Her eyes strayed to Nicole waiting in the truck. “Well, it was great to see you. Have a nice day.”

With a nod in their direction, Jackson got into the truck. He must have been more successful at hiding his disappointment than he thought because other than a comment about the man’s rudeness, Nicole had nothing to say about Hannah and Bradley. She returned to the subject of Marty.

The trip back to the clinic seemed endless. Jackson couldn’t rid his mind of the picture of the woman he loved kissing someone else. She had just ended a long relationship with Mitchell. How could she already be involved with another man?

* * * *

The rigid control and discipline that characterized Jackson enabled him to rebound from what happened in the parking lot. He couldn’t afford to let personal issues affect his ability to do his job. His patients deserved all of his attention.

By the time he got home, he’d schooled his mind to accept the situation. All of his goals in coming here were still within reach. The world wasn’t going to end because Hannah had a boyfriend, and it wasn’t as if he had a chance with her anyway.

The next few days passed quickly enough. As he was getting ready to leave work on Friday, he remembered Amanda’s birthday party. In spite of what Laurel had said, he couldn’t show up without a gift. He walked into the gym to see if anyone was still hanging around.