For Better or Worse (Book 2 in the Forgiving Hearts Trilogy) (20 page)

“Are you sure you’re free of it now?”

She looked directly into his eyes. “Yes, I am.”

A strange smile touched his lips. “I’m curious to hear how one falls out of love.”

“I’m not sure what I felt for Mitchell was ever love – at least not the type of love God intended between a man and a woman. I found myself comparing Mitchell to you. It wasn’t fair to him, of course. He’s nothing like you. He doesn’t have your immense capacity for love, integrity, and commitment. It wasn’t his fault that he couldn’t measure up. When I started pulling away from him, he did what most men do when that happens. He found consolation elsewhere.”

“I’m sorry things didn’t work out.”

Her laugh was incredulous. “I leave you for another man and you’re sorry. You’re truly unique, Jackson. Why didn’t you ask me for an annulment? You had every right to do so.”

He twisted the ring on his finger. “I married you for better or worse.”

“Did you wonder why I didn’t ask you for one?”

“I supposed it was because Mitchell never asked you to marry him.”

“It’s true that Mitchell never asked me to marry him. It’s also true that I
wouldn’t
have married him. You were willing to marry me and be a father to Sophia. I owed you the courtesy of letting you decide when or if our marriage should end.”

“I appreciate that.”

“When I left New York, I had no expectations. I had ruined any chance of a relationship with you. All I wanted was an opportunity to be part of Sophia’s life. The day after I arrived, I drove by the house and saw you and Sophia together. You looked so happy together, so complete. I realized that I needed you more than you needed me. I hadn’t been a good wife or mother. It wasn’t difficult to convince myself that you’d both be better off without me and that the best thing I could do was leave you in peace.”

“I hate that you had to go through all this, but I’m glad you didn’t leave again. And you’re wrong about us being complete. Sophia and I need you, Hannah.”

“If I hadn’t been so fixated on myself, I would have known that you were everything I could ever want.” Hannah took his face between her hands. “I want you to know how sorry I am.” Tears ran down her cheeks. “Now that I know – really know – what I did, I don’t understand how you can forgive me.”

He took her hands into his. “Because Jesus does it for me – every day. I’d be a hypocrite if I expected Him to wipe my slate clean and not be willing to do the same for you or anyone else who hurts me. We try to categorize and rank sin, but to God, sin is sin. None of us is worthy; we all deserve the worst that hell can offer. For that reason, we can’t afford to pass judgement on or withhold forgiveness from each other.”

“Can I say it now, Jackson?”

“Say what, darling?”

“That I love you. Because I do. Your love is what brought me back here. I couldn’t live without you anymore. Please give me another chance to be your wife. I promise I won’t let you down again.”

He didn’t wait to hear anymore. Pulling her close, he did what he’d been dreaming about for years. Nothing in his imagination had prepared him for reality. Hannah’s lips were deliciously soft and clung to his. He was certain his heart was going to explode with happiness. For the next few minutes, Jackson was lost, unaware of anything but the woman in his arms.

The vibration of his pager pulled him back to the real world.
He had patients waiting on him.
He drew back regretfully, certain that if he’d known this kind of pleasure before, he’d have lost his mind when she left him. He ran his fingers gently over her mouth. “I didn’t hurt you, did I? I forgot about your lip being sore.”

Hannah smiled tremulously. “So did I.”

Jackson laughed. “I always knew that kissing you would be a slice of heaven.”

* * * *

Hannah had never been so distracted, so delightfully bemused in her entire life. A quiver of feeling slid down her spine as she remembered Jackson’s kisses, tentative and gentle at first, but gradually increasing to an intensity that left her breathless.
Were the barriers between them finally gone?
She knelt down by the bed.

“Dear Father, I don’t have words for how I feel right now. I never thought to have such happiness. When I asked You to forgive me in New York and promised that I was going to change, I didn’t envision being given back all that I lost. Like Laurel said, You’re giving me a second chance, and I’m not going to waste it. Please help me be a godly wife to Jackson. I don’t want to fail him again. And give me the wisdom to be a good mother to Sophia and help her avoid the mistakes I made. Most of all, thank You for never giving up on me. Amen.”

She’d just finished arranging cupcakes on a rack to cool when Laurel dropped off Sophia.

“How’s the costume-making project going?” Hannah asked.

Laurel laughed. “It’s all over, but it was quite an experience. I couldn’t get anything on Rose’s sewing machine to work. Colton came home from work and found me almost in tears. He took me into the living room, brought me a cup of hot chocolate, and gave me strict instructions not to leave the couch for an hour. I fell asleep and when I woke up, the costume was folded up on the coffee table.”

“Colton finished it?”

“Yes, he did. When I asked him how he did it, he said, ‘I’m a surgeon, Laurel. I know how to put things together’.”

“That sort of makes sense.”

“It’s also kind of scary. Anyway, I’ve got to run. Amanda has a piano lesson this afternoon. See you tomorrow.”

After Laurel left, Hannah helped Sophia change clothes. Then they played with Freya while the cupcakes cooled. Jackson came home just as they were discussing which frosting to use. A sudden shyness swept over Hannah when she met his eyes. He winked at her and she blushed. Walking over to Sophia, he ruffled her hair and bent down to kiss her cheek.

“Daddy, should we use chocolate or vanilla icing?”

“That’s a big decision. Can I think about it while I kiss Mommy?”

Sophia giggled. “Yes, but please hurry.”

Jackson looked at Hannah. “A kiss should never be done in a hurry.” He kissed her lightly as he’d done Sophia. Over the sound of Sophia’s shriek of laughter, he whispered, “That will not be the last kiss you get from me today.” Eyes twinkling, he turned back to Sophia. “Let’s go with vanilla. I hope we have sprinkles. Cupcakes just aren’t cupcakes without sprinkles.”

Hannah opened the cabinet. “We’ve got pink, yellow and blue.”

“You two begin the icing operation while I change clothes and start dinner.”

After their meal, Hannah sent Jackson to play a game with Sophia while she cleaned up the kitchen. She couldn’t stop thinking about what he’d whispered in her ear.
Did it mean what she thought?

As she went through the routine of getting Sophia bathed and into bed, she wondered if Jackson was as nervous and excited as she was. If so, he was a master at hiding it. With a strange combination of anticipation and anxiety, she closed the door of Sophia’s room and went in search of him. He was outside on the deck with Freya. She joined him at the railing.

“You smell like cake,” he said softly. “I wonder if you taste like it, too.”

“There’s only one way to find out.”

His low laugh reached her ears. “First things first.” She felt him reach into his pocket and then he said, “Hold out your left hand.” When she did, he slid her wedding ring on her finger.

She touched the shiny gold ring lovingly. “Thank you for keeping it safe for me.”

“You know me; I won’t get rid of anything you touch.”

She’d done nothing to deserve someone like this.
“I love you.”

“I loved you first.” His lips started at her eyes and moved slowly down her face to her mouth. When he finally drew back, he was smiling. “You
do
taste like cake.”

The color rose in her cheeks. “Jackson, I was thinking...”

“about me kissing you again?” he interrupted her.

“Well, yes, that too, but I was also remembering what happened at the skating rink. You never got that couple’s skate with me. We could do it now – just without the skates.”

“You realize this could be a disaster. I’ve never danced with anyone.”

“I’m not asking you to do a tango. A slow dance isn’t hard. I’m going to put my hands on your shoulders like this.”

“I like it already,” he murmured.

“Now, just follow my lead.” After a few seconds, Hannah started to laugh. “Jackson, you have to move your feet.”

“I’m afraid I’m going to step on you.”

“I can take care of that.” She took off her shoes and stood on top of his feet.

Jackson pulled her closer. “I’m beginning to understand why people like doing this.”

“So I could probably talk you into dancing with me again?”

“As long as I don’t have to do it in public.”

Hannah hummed under her breath as they danced under the stars. Neither of them was aware of the passing of time until a sudden coolness in the air sent a shiver through her.

“You’re cold,” he said reluctantly. “I need to get you inside.” He released her and called Freya.

When they walked into the kitchen, she asked, “Do you want some coffee?”

“Not this late.”

Her glance followed his to the clock on the wall. “I didn’t realize we’d been outside so long.”

“We should be getting to bed. Our daughter will be up at the crack of dawn.” He shut off the lights and followed her down the hallway, stopping just outside her room. “I enjoyed my first dance lesson. I’d like to do it again some time.”

“Me, too.”

He hesitated and then said, “I’ll see you in the morning. Goodnight, Hannah.”

“It doesn’t have to be goodnight, Jackson,” she whispered. “Not unless you want it that way.”

He held her hands against his chest. She could feel the drumming of his heart. A heart she knew was hers.

“Are you sure about this?” he asked in a low voice.

She nodded. “You don’t have to be content with so little anymore.”

Epilogue

Jackson heard the front door open and the distinctive slapping sound of flip flops. The scene was reminiscent of another – one that had taken her away from him. His wait for Hannah had been long and their path to happiness anything but smooth. Even so, the past year had more than made up for all the others.

Her feet came into view. “I brought you some tea.”

“I’ll be right out.” He scooted out from under the truck and pulled a towel out of his pocket. After wiping his hands, he took the glass from her. “Thanks. It’s hotter out here than I realized.”

“Are you almost finished?”

“I’ll be about ten more minutes.”

“Good.” She stood on tiptoe and kissed him.

He grinned. “What’s got into you? You don’t usually get anywhere near me when I’m covered in grease.”

“Today is special.”

Jackson handed her the empty glass and started picking up the tools scattered over the driveway. “Well, it’s not our anniversary and it’s no one’s birthday, so I’m officially stumped.”

“Quit talking and get moving.”

He lunged for her, but she ran to the portico. “Just wait until I get in there,” he teased. “There are only so many places you can hide.”

She stopped at the front door and looked back at him, a shy smile on her lips. “Who says I want to hide?”

After pulling the truck into the garage, he strolled into the kitchen. Hannah was sitting on the counter eating an apple. He walked over and placed his hands on either side of her.

“Can whatever is special about today wait until I take a shower?”

“No way; I’m too excited.”

“Okay, then, what is it?”

She put down the apple and retrieved something behind her. “Do you know what this is?”

Jackson glanced at the white stick in her hand. “No.”

“It’s part of a pregnancy test.”

He jerked up suddenly, his face going pale underneath his tan. “Are you?”

She nodded slowly. “Yes, Jackson. We’re going to have a baby.”

He lifted her off the counter and into his arms. “That’s so much better than what I thought you were going to say.”

“What were you expecting?”

“That you won the auction on eBay for that antique clock you’ve been drooling over for weeks.”

Hannah wrapped her arms around his neck. “That wouldn’t be enough to make this day special. I was beginning to think it wasn’t going to happen; you know, getting pregnant.”

Jackson laughed. “It was the natural course of events.”

She buried her flushed cheeks in his neck. “It took so much longer than I thought it would.”

“I didn’t realize you were worried about it.”

“You’ve given me so much,” she said slowly. “I wanted to give something to you.”

He took her lips in a long, sweet kiss. “I’ll love this baby just as I love Sophia, but you need to understand something. You’ve already given me more than I ever dreamed of.

The End

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