Fight or Flight (13 page)

“Yes,” she whispered, her head falling back.

He plunged two fingers high inside her, stretched her roughly as she moved against his lips.

“More.”

A rough sound and he pulled her down, off the chaise, onto the floor, holding her wrists behind her with one hand as he pushed her thighs apart with his knees. She opened wide to him, and he answered, plunging his fingers high inside her, taking what she so eagerly gave.

“More,” she demanded again, her hands still pinned together in his. That demand was the one that broke his restraint. He let go of her hands, grasping one breast instead and abrading the sensitive nipples with the rough stubble on his chin while she groaned and pressed down, riding his other hand, feeling him touch some sweet, sensitive spot inside.

She threw her arms back behind her head and rolled against him as the tension built, pressing her clit against his palm, needing the roughness.

The edge of pain as he turned his head to the side, looking directly in her eyes as he bit on the side of her breast, was enough to send her flying into orgasm, her body unleashed in his arms.

She barely had time to collect her breath before he pulled his hand away and plunged inside her. His hand returned, pressing to her clit while he fucked into her, rougher and more intense than he ever had before.

“Again, pixie,” he demanded, his voice rough, and the orgasm swung back into her body like a pendulum. Dimly, she heard his shout, felt him shooting inside her as she shuddered in his arms.

Together they came down from that peak, slumping to the floor.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” he asked, tracing the line of her face.

“I didn’t trust myself. I didn’t trust what my body told me, that I wanted that edge, that little bit of pain. And I wasn’t ready to trust you to give it to me.”

“God, Tirzah,” he whispered into her hair. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Don’t say anything. Just be yourself; you’re who I need.”

Chapter 22

“Captain Simonian, you have an incoming message from the station.” Commander Campbell’s voice came over the ’com. Tirzah stretched and groaned. Now they were on the other side of the nebula, communications between the colony station and the ship would be frequent. As captain and pilot, most of them would come to her. She leaned over and pressed a kiss to Zeke’s forehead before getting out of bed and dressing in her uniform.

She made her way to the bridge, stopping for a coffee on the way. Upon sitting in the captain’s chair, she indicated she was ready for the messages to appear on her reader.

“Suspicious Coronal activity?” she murmured as she skimmed the first message. It looked like there had been an increase in piracy along the edges of the nebula. She paged Claudia on her ’com.

“Ma’am?”

“Claudia, can you divert some extra power to shields and defense systems?”

“Of course. Should I be worried?”

“No, it’s just a precaution.”

“I’ll take care of it.”

“Thanks, Clau.”

The next message was about the Christmas festival. She forwarded that one to the colony president. No way was she getting involved in that shindig. Josiah, who’d been hanging out on the bridge talking to Campbell, noted her scowl and asked what was up.

“Christmas festival.”

“Oh, bah humbug.” He winked.

When she blushed, he laughed. She didn’t exactly hate Christmas, but it reminded her of Walter and their lavish Christmas Eve wedding, so she didn’t go out of her way to celebrate either. Josiah and Claudia downplayed their worry over her annoyance at all things merry and bright by acting as if they too were annoyed by the whole damn thing. Another of the many reasons she loved them dearly.

“Are you ready for tomorrow?” she asked. He smiled shyly, and then nodded.

“Max is the best man I have ever known, Tirzah. He is kind and gentle and passionate. He said he wants to make a family with me rather than stay with the family who rejects who he is.”

“So he came out at last?”

“He did. And it was ill-received. But he took it in stride and just said they need time. He’s a very accepting guy in that way.”

“I am glad you two have found each other.”

“And you, Tirz? What about your guy?” Josiah prodded.

She shrugged. “He has a contract in Solomon City for six months. I have to return to Earth to retest for fight command.” She felt a pang of sadness as she thought of leaving Zeke. She finally found someone who could look past the horrors of her past and love her anyway, and now she had to leave. And at Christmas, no less.

Another memory to add to the “bah humbug” pile.

“It doesn’t have to be that way, you know,” Josiah reminded her. “No one said you need to go back to flying a fighter.”

“I can’t let him have this. I can’t let him take this from me.”

“Tirzah.
He
is dead.
He
can’t have anything anymore.”

Tirzah ignored him, opening the final message from the colony station: Weather reports. She sent them on to the colony specialists and turned off her reader.

“The last days of the mission I feel like a glorified mail clerk.” It was a strange feeling, after the urgency of the passage, to sit idle as they coasted into port.

Josiah just shook his head at her and left the bridge.

* * * *

The next day, Tirzah officiated the wedding between Josiah Beckett and Max Slapinski. As she read the wedding agreements and they spoke their vows, tears stung her eyes. When she pronounced them married, witnessing their kiss stole her breath and left her blushing. The crew who had come to celebrate with them cheered and hooted and clapped. Clearly, happiness was contagious.

A small party was held afterward in the officers’ lounge. As the happy couple danced and cut their cake, Tirzah remembered her own wedding with a twinge of sadness. Her marriage had nearly cost her everything. She hadn’t been able to attend a wedding without feeling outraged at how her own had been a subtle manipulation of her expectations. Something had changed though; as her best friend danced with his husband, she didn’t feel that familiar rage, just a sadness—and a longing—she would never have the sort of marriage Josiah and Max would have: a trusting partnership.

“Hi.” Zeke’s voice was at her shoulder, and she turned. He held out a glass of champagne, which she accepted with a smile, taking an unladylike gulp and relishing the tingling of bubbles against her nose.

“Hi. I didn’t know you were here.”

“I missed the ceremony, I got some communications from the Fleet that I couldn’t ignore.”

“Are there problems because of me? They don’t think it’s a conflict of interest, do they?”

He shrugged. “Let’s not talk about work. We’re at a party.” His straight white teeth gleamed as he grinned. “Would you like to dance, pixie?”

Tirzah hadn’t danced since her wedding. A momentary twinge of uncertainty spilled through her, but as Zeke took her champagne glass and set it on a table, and then took her hand in his, that trepidation disappeared. She smiled as he drew her into his arms, and she circled her own around his shoulders. “I haven’t danced in years; I’ll probably step on your toes,” she warned him.

“So what?” Zeke smiled. “You’re just a little bit of a pixie,” he teased, sweeping her in a circle. Laughter bubbled in her chest, and she let the music take over.

Though they had been physically and emotionally intimate, dancing together seemed somehow sacred. She lay her head on his shoulder and let her eyes drift closed, trusting him to lead, trusting her feet to follow. The gentle force of his body moving hers around the dance floor was somehow both erotic and comforting. Being held so close to his chest, feeling his strong thighs brush against her own, his breath in her hair, all swept her along in a wave of anticipation. When the song ended and she looked in his eyes, they’d darkened, and she shuddered with the heat that suddenly flared between them.

“You intoxicate me,” he whispered.

“The feeling is mutual.” She purred, feeling sultry and sensual in his arms. The song changed and she broke eye contact, blushing.

“Come home with me, my place is closer.” She bit her lower lip and met his eyes again. “And we’re landing tomorrow. I don’t want to waste any part of tonight.”

Chapter 23

Tirzah opened the door to her quarters and led Zeke inside. As she smiled at him, his heart constricted. The last time. Panic filled him momentarily, but she pressed herself close to him and took his hands in hers.

“Don’t think about that,” she whispered, pressing a kiss to the hollow of his throat. Standing on her tiptoes, she feathered a row of kisses along his collarbone, slipping the buttons of his shirt open as she did.

“Pixie.” He sighed, freeing his hands so he could bury them in her hair, the pins falling around them as he loosened her hair from the tight twist she wore while in uniform. Sliding her hands down his body, she loosened his belt and unbuttoned his pants, pushing them down his legs. When he was nude in front of her, she smiled and looked at him before taking him into her mouth. When he gasped her name, she hummed, licking around the top of his erection before sliding back down. He dropped his head back as he tried to hold back the intense reaction she provoked, to slow his response so he could make this last forever. Fisting his hands in her hair, he tugged. She swallowed around him, taking him as deep as she could and using her hands to stroke and tease the base of his shaft. He wanted to memorize the feel of her hair spilling over his hands, the sounds she made, the way his excitement built hers. She whimpered, rocking on her heels.

“Pixie, stop.” He tugged at her hair again. With a final blistering kiss to the tip of his penis, she released him. Smiling at him, she looked like everything he’d ever desired, there on her knees, hair glowing like a corona around her. He pulled her to her feet. He drew the zipper down her uniform top, baring her to his gaze.

“Your breasts are amazing,” he murmured, swooping to nibble at one rosy tip. “Not amazing, perfect,” he corrected, transferring his attentions to the other breast. Her hands clutched at his head, fingers tracing the lines of his braids as if she too wanted to memorize this moment. He dropped to his knees, pushing her pants to her ankles, taking off her shoes, and lifting first one, and then the other foot out of her pants.

When she was as bare as he, he stood and lifted her.

“Bedroom?” he murmured against her mouth mid-kiss. One arm waved to the left, so he moved in that direction. The unmade bed was a few steps from the door, and then they were tumbling together onto soft white sheets. He took one of her hands, pressed a kiss to her palm, and then another to the inside of her wrist. Her eyes closed.

“I want all of you,” he whispered.

“I’m yours.”

“Here?” He placed a hand over her heart, his eyes questioning. Tears filled hers. The sound that came from her throat was one of sorrow. His head bowed. When he met her eyes again, they showed only passion. He pressed a gentle kiss to each eyelid, and then eased himself between her legs.

“It’s okay, pixie.” He comforted her. She nodded, pulling his body to hers. As he sank into her heat, her head rolled back and she gasped his name. Slowly, he made love to her, telling her with his body what she meant to him. And even if she couldn’t say it, he knew she felt something for him too. So he took what her body told him to heart and stoked her passion with his own. He slid a hand between them and pressed it against her clit until she writhed and shook with want. When she exploded around him, he held her close, pressing deep as he shuddered his own release.

His climax seemed to go on forever, building and breaking in waves. Her hands dug into his shoulders, and her voice was incoherent, but her body clutched and held him, not wanting to let him go.

As he slowly came back to his awareness, the bed was shaking. He looked at Tirzah with alarm in his eyes. Her own sharpened measurably.

“Shit,” she exclaimed, pushing at him. He eased his way off her as she scrambled for her closet. Pulling on a uniform, she looked over her shoulder.

“We’re hit. We’re under attack.”

*

She tugged Zeke to his feet. He ran to the hallway where they had dropped their clothes, and he dressed quickly.

“Go back to your quarters. Hurry.” She pressed a kiss to his cheek and ran. The bridge wasn’t far from captain’s quarters, and she settled into the chair within moments.

“Reports,” she demanded, picking up her reader and scanning the information coming in.

“Coronals,” Campbell said. “I don’t know if they are official, or pirates, but it’s definitely a Coronal ship.”

“Fuck.” She did a mental inventory of the ship’s weapon systems. Not enough, damn it. This was a colony ship, not a fighter.

“Claudia.” She paged on the ’com.

“On my way, ma’am.” A moment later, Claudia rushed onto the bridge in her pajamas. She shrugged at the look Tirzah gave her and reached for a reader.

“Which do you want, weapons or shields?”

“I have to choose?” Tirzah asked.

“Yes. And hurry. If they fire again, they might hit something important.”

“Shields. Go. And get me some speed if you can.” There was no way a colony ship could fight a Coronal raider. She looked at the screen, which showed the ship that had attacked. The telltale ring of engine exhaust lit up behind it in a vast circle. Definitely Coronal. How many times had she chased one of those circles through space, aiming for its heart like a bull’s eye?

She didn’t see any official symbols on the bow, which made her suspect pirates. She couldn’t take a chance of being boarded. Pirates would kill everyone aboard and take anything of value they could find, which on a colony ship was a lot. Fucking smart pirates.

“Campbell, I’m taking auto-nav offline. We’re going to run for it.” She moved to the helm position.

“Claudia, report.”

“Shields are boosted with energy from the food generation systems. I’m slowly pulling climate control offline; the ship can insulate itself long enough to get us out of here, but we have to make a break for it soon, or we’ll start getting cold. We have about five hours before it gets uncomfortable. About seven before it affects the health of the passengers and crew. The mods I made for the passage will give power to the thrusters, so we have some speed. However, we can reach Solomon Territory in minutes if we disengage the weapons systems and divert more power to the engines.”