Fight or Flight (11 page)

“Zeke, thank you,” she said, turning to press another kiss to his jaw.

“For what, pixie?”

“For making love to me. For taking care of me. For caring about me.”

“Oh, pixie, it doesn’t seem like I have any choice in this matter. Thank you for trusting me. I will never do anything to hurt you.”

“I know.” She smiled. “For the first time since the day I crashed that transport, I feel completely and utterly safe.”

Then don’t leave me, pixie
, his heart pleaded with her. But he stayed silent, pressing fevered kisses into her hair. He turned her around, pulled her legs around his waist, and kissed her with all the passion and fervor he felt when he looked at her.

As she relaxed into his caresses, he lifted her, impaling her once more on his heated flesh. He made love to her wordlessly, showing her with his body what he couldn’t speak out loud. He cherished her with every movement, worshiped her with every sigh, treasured her with every gasp until she flew apart in his arms, and he followed her over the edge and into heaven.

Chapter 19

Tirzah sat in the captain’s chair on the bridge watching incoming transmissions from Earth. Relations between humans and Coronals were peaceful at the moment, but there had been some suspicious activity in the sector. Pirates, most likely. She sighed, dragging a hand across her forehead. She hadn’t slept well since the night a few days back when she’d made love with Zeke. Making love with him had made her sensitized to every little touch on her skin. The way her hair tumbled like silk around her shoulders when she let it down at the end of the day, the way her uniform brushed over her breasts as she zipped it, the sensual feeling of the hot water in the shower gliding over her skin.

Her imagination ran wild with thoughts of him, but she’d been too busy getting ready for the nebula crossing to do more than exchange a few innuendo-laden ’com calls at the end of each day before she fell, depleted, to sleep. She still wasn’t sure what would come of this affair, but she missed him already.

“Captain?”

“Yes?” She turned. Claudia.

“Oh, Clau, I’m sorry, I’m in a fog. What’s up?”

“I think we’re almost ready to make the passage. I have two more tests to run. By the end of this week for sure.”

“What’s the Earth date?”

“December fourteenth.”

“Damn.” Tirzah pinched the bridge of her nose. No way a colony ship could make it through the nebula, land, get everyone deboarded, and get back through the nebula and all the way to Earth in just over two weeks.

“I’m sorry, Tirz.” Claudia hung her head.

“No, it’s okay. I’ll work something out. I can rent a smaller ship to get home. There is a station on that side of the planet, right?”

“Yes, there’s a small station with rentals available,” Claudia reassured her.

“Okay. Keep me posted.” Tirzah glanced at the clock on her display. Campbell would be arriving to relieve her soon. “You wanna grab a coffee with me when Campbell comes on bridge?”

“Sure. I have time for a coffee, but I’ve got to get back to the engine room right after.”

“You work too hard,” Tirzah lamented, looking at the dark circles under her friend’s eyes.

“No, I work barely hard enough to get us on the ground in time to get you home by January.”

“You can delegate, you know,” Tirzah reminded her.

“I’m not trusting any of those knuckle-dragging wrench jockeys with my ship,” Claudia scoffed.

“Hey now, my best friend resembles that remark.” Tirzah smiled.

“Yeah, but I’m Chief Wrench Jockey.”

“Ooh, fancy.”

“Tirz, it’s been really good being on a ship with you again. I’ve missed it.”

“When I get my fight command back, you know you’re always welcome on my crew, right?”

“Honey, I’d better be.” Claudia grinned. “I’m so proud of you. I can’t wait to see you wearing gold wings again. Of course, I can’t lie—I’m also pretty glad to see you dating again, even if I don’t necessarily approve of the who.”

“It’s not like that.” Tirzah flushed. Was that what she was doing with Zeke? Dating? No. “We’re just … it’s a no-strings thing. And what do you mean you don’t approve? Since when have you had veto rights on my sex life?”

“Tirzah, as glad as I am to see you getting some, I worry about you. He kind of has a reputation.”

“What kind of reputation?”

“I don’t want to spread gossip. His wife … you should ask him, about his past.”

“I told you, it’s just a sex thing. I’m not marrying the man.”

“Okay.”

Just then, Commander Campbell arrived on the bridge to relieve her. By the time the transition had occurred, Tirzah was willing to let the subject of Zeke and his reputation drop, but her curiosity had been piqued. It was true she knew very little about his past, whereas he knew the most intimate details of hers. The inequity nagged at her, making her wonder just how deep she’d gotten.

* * * *

The following day, Tirzah stood in her office looking over the final report from Claudia. The engines had enough power to propel them past the strongest of the gravity wells within the nebula. She’d also separated the control of the thrusters on both sides to give more maneuverability in manual shifting. Now the elephant could turn on a peanut.

“Clau, you’re a fucking genius,” she praised her friend. “I can work with this.”

“Good.” Claudia smiled.

“Captain?” A voice called over the ’com.

“Go ahead, Commander.”

“Ma’am, we’re readying the manual controls for you. At what time do you want to attempt the passage?”

“First thing in the morning, 0700. I need a good sleep and at least two cups of coffee before I start.”

“Yes, ma’am. We’ll have all the auto systems except life support and food generation offline by 0700 tomorrow.”

“Thank you, Commander Campbell.”

“Ma’am.” The ’com crackled, and then he was gone.

“John Campbell’s on the bridge?” Claudia asked casually. Too casually.

“Yes. Why?” Tirzah prodded.

“Nothing, I like the guy. He’s been really helpful with the mods I’ve made. He helped me run a lot of the tests and even picked up a wrench a time or two.” Claudia shrugged, and then smiled. “He’s pretty cute too, don’t you think?”

Actually, Tirzah had never particularly noticed the commander as anything other than an efficient, polite employee. “He’s not really my type.” She winked at Claudia.

“More for me.” Claudia grinned. “I think I’ll go stroll to the bridge and see if he needs any help.”

“You go right ahead, Clau.” Tirzah grinned back. Her friend sauntered out of the office with a smile.

In less than twenty-four hours, she’d be piloting the ship through the most dangerous passage in the sector, and yet she felt calm and assured. She wondered if she ought to credit Zeke with some of that calm. He’d made her feel cherished and complete in a way she’d never felt before. A part of herself was growing attached to him, but there was no room for him in her life. Not if she was returning to Earth before the year was out. She toyed with the idea of asking him to come with her, but he was contracted for six months. Besides, they’d only wanted a simple, no-strings affair; it wouldn’t be fair to change the arrangement.

But God, he made her feel so alive. How long could she hold on to that feeling without him? A knock at her office door jerked her out of her reverie.

“Tirzah?” Josiah called, sticking his head in the door.

“Hey Becky, c’mon in.”

“I’m not alone, sweetie. I brought a friend. Is that okay?”

“Of course,” she said, curiosity getting the better of her now. Josiah pushed the door open and walked in, holding Max’s hand.

“Tirzah, love, forgive me for sneaking a civ in here. Do you remember Max Slapinski?” He smiled at the other man, who blushed. He smiled shyly at her and extended his hand to shake.

“Hello, Captain.”

“Hi, Max. It’s nice to see you again.”

“Tirz, I was wondering if you would be willing to perform weddings on this voyage. You are Captain, after all.” Josiah asked. His voice was hesitant, almost defensive.

“I’ll fulfill all my duties as captain, Becky, I always have.” She raised an eyebrow. “Who wants to get married?”

“We do.” Max grinned, showing even white teeth in a dazzling smile. Josiah grinned just as broadly before taking his lover’s face between his hands and kissing him with a passion that made Tirzah blush. She watched the two men with a pang of bittersweet joy twisting in her heart. She didn’t begrudge her best friend his happiness, but wished her own happy ending weren’t so impossible to obtain. As Josiah pulled back from Max, he closed his eyes and rested his forehead against his lover’s. They held each other for a moment before turning to Tirzah for her answer.

“Of course,” she told them. “I would be thrilled to perform the ceremony. When did you want to do it?”

“After the nebula, of course.” Josiah reassured her. “Maybe a day or two later?”

“Consider it done. Book the ship’s chapel and I’ll be there.” She smiled at her friend before standing and walking around her desk, and then enfolding him in a hug. “I’m so happy for you.” Then she turned to Max and hugged him as well. “And for you, Max. Josiah deserves someone wonderful; be good to him.”

“I promise you, Captain, he is my heart,” Max said. “From now on, I’m his, he’s mine, the rest will fall into place.”

“From your lips to God’s ears, Max.”

“Thank you for bringing Josiah to Solomon City. I never would have met him if it weren’t for you.”

“Well, then something truly beautiful came out of the ashes of my marriage.”

Chapter 20

Zeke was waiting for Tirzah when she emerged from the bridge that evening. Her wide smile when she saw him made his own lips curl upward in response. She took his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze as he fell into step beside her.

“Wow, to what do I owe this surprise?” She glanced up. “Not that I’m not happy to see you, it’s just unexpected.”

“I heard we’d be starting the passage tomorrow.” His voice was even, but inside he was in turmoil. He wouldn’t see her for a long stretch of hours, and that was if everything went perfectly. There was so much he wanted to tell her, wanted her to know. And Solomon City was only another two days’ travel from the other side of the nebula. She’d be leaving shortly after their arrival.

“Yes. 0700. I need to rest tonight. Did you have plans?”

“If my lady will have me, I thought I’d hold her in my arms while she sleeps.” He smiled at her.

“Oh that sounds lovely. Do I know her?” she teased, drawing a chuckle from him.

“Witch,” he whispered. “You make me want to pin you against the bulkhead and take you right here in front of anyone walking by.” Her eyes widened, turning dark in response to his words, making him groan.

He took her hand again, tugging her toward the door to his quarters. Once inside, he picked her up. Feeling her legs wrap around his waist, he pressed her against the door and kissed her long and hard and sweet. When they came up for air, her eyes were dark and glazed with desire. He traced a finger over her nose, cupped her chin, and pressed a series of kisses over her lips.

“I want you so much,” he confessed.

She squirmed against him as if trying to get closer.

“I want to make love to you until you scream my name.” Another hard kiss to her lips.

“I want to wrap my hands in your hair while you suck my cock.” A nibble on her chin.

“I want to feel you moving on top of me, underneath me, any way you’ll have me.” He nibbled an earlobe between his teeth. “I don’t ever want to stop making love to you.”

There, he’d said it. Or something like it. He pulled back to look in her eyes, but they were closed. Her breath came in tortured gasps. With a groan, he pulled her away from the door and into his arms, and then carried her to his bed. He laid her on the bed and pressed another hungry kiss against her throat as he reached for the zipper on her uniform. She pulled his shirt over his head, and as soon as they were both bare from the waist up, she tugged him to her, her hard little nipples abrading his chest. A hand caressed his face.

“Zeke.” His name sounded like a whispered prayer on her lips. This time, her eyes were open as she kissed him, teasing him. With a growl, he tore off his pants, and then pulled her uniform the rest of the way off. She grinned as she reached for his cock.

“No, pixie, I need you too much, and there is no way in hell I want to shoot in your hand when I could be inside you.” He pushed her hands away. He bent to kiss one rose-tipped breast, watched as she pinched the other, teasing them both, while he sucked her nipple hard into his mouth. Her groan of need sent a shudder down his spine. He tested her readiness, found her slick and wet.

“Now,” she demanded.

He guided himself between her legs and claimed her in one fierce thrust. Her eyes widened and her hands wrapped around his shoulders as he set a driving rhythm. He felt out of control, unable to rein in his need for her, but she met him thrust for thrust. When he rolled her clitoris between his fingers, it was only moments before she arched and shuddered around him, triggering his own release. As he rode the electric storm of his climax to the end, the words rushed from his lips.

“I love you.”

*

Surely she had misheard him. But no. Tirzah lay pinned to the bed beneath him, watching the emotions playing over his face. His eyes closed, he looked as though he were praying. She caressed the side of his head with one hand, and he eased himself out of and away from her. He sat heavily on the edge of the bed, elbows on his knees, and buried his face in his hands.

Sitting, she rubbed his shoulders with her hands, making inarticulate sounds of comfort. She pressed a kiss to the skin between his shoulder blades, and his head tipped back. She took one of his hands and nibbled the tip of his thumb. She felt a spasm run through his hand before he relaxed it in her own.

His eyes opened, and the anguish there chilled her.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

He shook his head. She nodded, and pulled him back into the bed with her, cradling his head on her shoulder. He laced his fingers with hers.