Falling (13 page)
Authors: Jolene Perry
JASON
I’m Normally Very Smart.
Really.
Leaving Dana on the couch is definitely the smart thing to do, and I don’t think I’ll get any customers in the morning, but I never know. I stand in front of the couch, staring down at her, completely crashed, and wonder if I should take her to her room.
“Don’t stare.” Josh punches my shoulder. “You might start drooling.” He laughs as he stumbles a few times while heading for the stairs. He never was a guy who knew when to stop smoking. I’m amazed he can lift his body off the floor.
“Just leave her.” Boz shakes his head. “She’ll be fine, and you’re already pushing boundaries here.”
“I’m not.”
“Dude. You stare at her way too much for the friend bullshit you keep selling me. I told you to be nice, but I didn’t tell you to fall for her.” Boz smirks and shuffles for the door. “See you tomorrow.”
I wave him off, and slide my hands underneath Dana, slowly picking her up. The moment she’s in my arms, I realize what a dangerous mistake this is. Also, all of the guys lifting girls and running with them is bullshit. She’s tiny, but is still heavy, and I have a long ways to go.
Also, she feels way too damn good here for me to maintain my sanity. She sighs as I shift, and rolls her head against my chest. Instead of doing the smart thing and pretending it’s just anyone, I soak up the moment as I walk up the stairs. She has the palest freckles that I haven’t noticed before, and a tiny scar near her hairline. I want to know if she got teased about her freckles, and where the scar came from. I want to know about the guy who was stupid enough to break her heart, and why her brother and dad stress her out so much, why she can’t just let go. All of it. I want to know all of it, and none of these things are things I should care about.
But we know this crap about
friends
, right. I know where all Boz’s scars come from. But I also would definitely not be turned on by him standing in a tank top in a drafty doorway—so there’s that.
I nudge her door open with my foot and lay her in bed, grabbing a few of Justine’s extra blankets from her closet and resting them on top of her. Maybe I should try to get Justine back here so Dana can go home, or wherever she’ll end up.
The problem is that I don’t want her to go.
Losing My Mind
Last night begins to hit me again as I suck down my third cup of coffee. My brothers are asleep, but I recognize Dana’s footsteps as she shuffles down the stairs.
“Morning,” she whispers as she pulls her sweater more tightly around her and walks with lids half-closed to the coffee pot.
“How are you today?” I ask.
She shrugs. “Better than hung over.”
I’m now embarrassed about carrying her to her room. It was probably some kind of violation or something, and then I remember she took
files
from my
computer
, and that maybe I should still be pissed.
I start to ask her why she thought it was okay to take something from my computer, when she speaks instead. “How did I get upstairs?”
I choke, and then cough. “I helped you.” Not a lie. “Why did you think it was okay to take files from my computer?” Now we’re even.
“You were totally grouchy toward me, and I was curious.” She slides onto the seat across from mine, her mug clutched in both hands. “I sent it to a friend of mine. A literary agent.”
“You
what
?” I almost drop the coffee.
“It would be a waste if you didn’t.” She takes another sip and stares out the window.
How can she be so calm right now?
“It wouldn’t be a
waste
! I had a lot of fun writing it!” Holy… I just. It wasn’t ready. I hadn’t researched. I was waiting…
For what, Jason? For what?
“You can tell him no if you don’t want it to go anywhere, and I know I should have asked you, but I couldn’t help myself. I’m sorry.” She’s not sorry.
“You don’t look sorry,” I mumble.
“I’m nervous about it.” She smiles, looking a little more awake. “I’ve thought about it since I hit send.”
We’re silent for a minute, and she leans her elbows on the table, putting us closer. My heart starts hammering.
“I’ve been thinking about something else,” she says.
“Of course you have.” I’m wondering what she’s going to be on about. “You’re like Justine.”
Silence hangs between us for long enough that I start to think she might be serious.
“Am I the first girl Craig brought up here?” She holds her breath, waiting for my answer.
I don’t want to answer this. At all. She already feels like shit over the situation. She doesn’t need to feel worse. Dana should never just be a girl on someone’s list—she should be
the
girl on the list.
With that realization, I stand and move away. Too much. Too intense.
“Well, that’s answer enough. It serves me right. I was so proud of myself.” Her voice is so low.
“Don’t feel bad.” I dump the rest of my coffee in the sink, nerves already on edge. “You did the right thing in the end.”
“And I’ll never do that again.”
“So, lesson learned.” She’s not stupid.
“Uh…
yeah
.” She tries to laugh, but she’s obviously still affected by the situation.
The kitchen is already spotless from last night, and I’m not sure how to stay busy.
“We’re okay, right?” she asks. “I mean. We get along, and we’re okay?” She’s still clutching her mug, her wide eyes on me, and looking younger and more vulnerable than I think I’ve ever seen her.
“Of course we get along.” I lean back against the counter, trying desperately to look relaxed. “It’s good. We’re good.” It’s just me that’s apparently losing my mind.
DANA
Sometimes Talents Need to be Used for Evil, or Good…Depending Which Side You’re On
It’s Saturday morning, a little early in the weekend for any big crowd, but a large group has just come in, ready for lunch. Jason’s in the kitchen cooking. Boz is missing, but that’s not too unusual.
Funny, that this place is now my “normal.”
I stand by the table with a large indecisive group. There’s nothing else to do yet, so I sit down on the edge of the bench seat and chat with the guys while they look over the menu and tell me about their morning ride. I try not to think about how I’m pretty sure Jason carried me to my bed and covered me up, or how I should have taken advantage of being high and kissed him without consequence, or at least with very little consequence.
The door opens and Boz steps in with a short, pretty, frizzy red-haired girl. I’m a little surprised because I’ve never seen him with a woman before, and if I had, she would not have been my first pick. She’s way too pretty, which sounds really mean. I like Boz. He’s nice once you stop being afraid of him, but whatever girl he’s with needs to be quirky enough to love him.
“This should be interesting,” one of the guys
at the table
says. He leans back in his chair. I turn around to see Boz and the lady with him use the backdoor to the kitchen. The rest of the table has forgotten their menus and is all straining to see or hear something.
“Hey, Cass
,
” Jason say
s
. He sounds tired or bored. Maybe it’s forced. Jason is nearly impossible to read. Wait, the redhead who just came in with Boz is his ex-wife? I can’t wait to hear what will happen next.
“You cut your hair,” she says.
“You’re observant,” he says back in his flat voice.
“This place looks just the same.” She sounds accusatory. I find myself straining to hear, which isn’t a problem. The whole table has their heads turned toward the kitchen, even though we can’t quite see inside from here.
“What do you want, Cass?” Now Jason sounds impatient.
“I’m just up spending a little time with my brother.” I’m floored. She’s with Boz. I look at the guys sitting at the table.
“Jason’s ex-wife is Boz’s
sister
?” I whisper. They all nod, not moving and kind of smiling at each other, waiting to see what will happen next. How had
that
not been mentioned?
“I have a few things to pick up, and I wanted to take my machine out for a ride.” Her voice is filled with smugness and spite, and I find myself wanting to slap it out of her.
A few of the guys at the table exhale at that remark and their smiles widen. Guess there are no secrets around here.
“
Your
machine? Are you kidding me?” Jason’s voice is loud and definitely a notch or two above annoyed.
“Yes! You gave it to me, remember?”
“Oh yeah, I remember,” he starts. “You and I got in a fight over it, and you walked out. You’ve never even touched it!”
I’ve never heard Jason raise his voice before.
“That wasn’t what the fight was about, Jason.”
“Okay, I need to get your order in there
now
,” I whisper. The one closest to me finishes off the order, and I walk toward the kitchen. I turn back around to them just before I round the corner into the kitchen.
“Is this good?” I knot my shirt up quickly to show a little more stomach than I normally would. I get smiles and thumbs up. Guess they all like that up here. Thumbs up. Funny. I smile and walk around the counter like nothing’s going on.
“Hey Jase, we have a big hungry group out there.” I smile. I walk up closely next to him. Hoping to hint at something without being too obvious. I look at his soon to be ex-wife. “I’m Dana, it’s nice to meet you…” I trail off as if I don’t know exactly who she is.
“I’m Cass, the half-owner of this place, which I guess would make me your half-boss.” She smiles wickedly.
“Just until you get your money,” Jason quips.
She’s better than I gave her credit for. I just laugh, walk behind Jason, set something on the counter and walk behind him again—going just a little closer than necessary. He watches me both times. He isn’t dumb. We might have a lot of fun with her here. It’s a way for me to be as close to him as I’ve been wanting to be, without all the strings that might come with someone I like as much as him.
“The snowmachine isn’t mine anymore anyway, Cass.” Jason turns his back toward her. “It’s Dana’s. Part of her payment for working so hard.” He flashes me a smile. I smile back, raise my eyebrows at him once, and start to fill up a pitcher of beer from the tap.
“Are you kidding me?” She gives me the once over, a
few
times. I’m sure she’s suddenly unsure of what’s going on between Jason and me. This is perfect.
Making people crazy has always been one of my specialties. I promise myself I won’t go too far, but it’s so easy. Cass isn’t hard for me to read. She’s smart but not as smart as Jason. She acts like she knows exactly what she’s doing and what she wants, but I don’t think she has a clue on either count.
The guys give me another quiet round of thumbs up and smiles as I head for their table.
Cass takes off a short while later with Boz. Headed to his place, I’m sure. I’m kind of sad she’s gone. Flirting with Jason like this could be fun.
I walk into the kitchen a few minutes after Boz and his sister leave, and Jason’s scowl turns into a smile. My chest fills up with something that really shouldn’t be there. He pulls me into his arms, and I have no choice but to hug him back.
“Thank you.”
He feels too good. I have to get out of here. “Yep.” I pull away, get a pitcher of water, and leave. Since Clive, I’ve set up some good guidelines
—
I’m not friends with guys I sleep with, and I don’t get too close. To anyone. The lines with Jason are already blurry, so I have to keep this all straightened out.
Unfortunately Jason is now grouchy. As soon as we shut the grill down for the night, I tell him I can clean up after the straggling TV watchers take off for their rooms. He just nods and wanders off. Things with him are so up and down, but they shouldn’t be. Jason’s this relaxed, steady kind of guy. We’re supposed to be friends. Maybe the weirdness is my fault.
I’m still finishing dishes up at just after eleven when Boz comes in the front door.
“Jason here?” he asks.
“Yeah, but he was in a foul mood so I sent him to his room.” I smile.
“I just wanted to apologize. I didn’t know she was coming until she called me from the parking lot.” Boz frowns, obviously feeling bad about the awkward situation.
“He mentioned something a week or two ago. I don’t think she said anything about weekend, but—”
“Well, then he should have warned
me
.” Boz now looks a little irritated.
“So.” I rest my hands on my hips. “Cass is your sister.”
He sighs and shakes his head. “Yeah, but I’m Switzerland.”
“I see.”
“She’s trying not to let on, but she’s irritated as hell you’re here.” Boz kind of laughs.
I can’t help but smile. “Well, it’s good for her. I’m sure she’d rather think of him here pining away without her.”
“Probably,” Boz agrees. “I don’t think she’s given much thought to the fact that he’d eventually move on.”
“Do you think Jason wants her to come back?” I hold my breath, waiting for his answer, when I really shouldn’t.
“I don’t think so… Well, not anymore… He
shouldn’t
anyway.” Boz shakes his head.
“Why not?”
“Because she’d never be satisfied.” I’ve never seen him so serious. “You know, you’re good for him, Dana. The guy is way too uptight.”
“Wow, thanks. That was quite a compliment.” I lean back against the counter.
He rubs his hand over my head, messing my hair up in all different directions.
“Hey!” I throw my hands up to block him, but there’s no getting away from Boz.
“Night, Dana. I’m going to go bug Jason now.”
“Good. Get out of here,” I reply, ducking under his arm and pushing him away.
Okay, I’m having fun. Jason is having fun. I’m good for him. I’m going to have to stick
really
close to my rules. I can’t get hurt again, and it’s the only way I know how to make sure that doesn’t happen.
Don’t get too close. If it does get too close, get out or walk away. Or run. I can do this
.