booth at EJ's after an hour-long wait. I was famished enough to
order one of everything on the menu, but I was enjoying my stillthin
figure too much to jeopardize it now. I'd managed to cut out
all trips to Dylan's and even most of my morning bacon, egg, and
cheeses—with the occasional Slim Jim acting as my only real indulgence—
and it was almost starting to feel normal to police myself
with food. Which only made it all the weirder when Penelope ordered
the way we always had—three-egg cheese omelet with
bacon and hash browns, accompanied by a short stack of chocolate-
chip pancakes and a baby fistful of oozing, melted butter. She
raised her eyebrows when I ordered an egg-white omelet with
spinach and tomatoes and two slices of dry whole-wheat toast, but
she kindly refrained from commenting, with the single exception
of a murmur: "Elisa influence much?" I ignored her wan smile and
changed the subject.
"Is everything okay with you and Avery?" I asked as sympathetically
as I could, wanting very much to draw her out and not
sound critical. I'd helplessly watched them leave Sanctuary, knowing
how upset she was but feeling powerless to do anything but
watch. When she'd called early this morning, I immediately ducked
out of my standing Sunday brunch plans with Will and Simon and
jumped in a cab downtown.
She avoided my eyes and instead concentrated on slicing her
pancakes into small, even pieces. Slice, spear, mouth, repeat. I
watched this cycle three times before she spoke. "Everything's just
fine," she said tonelessly. "Once he explained everything to me, I
could see that last night was just a big misunderstanding."
"I'm sure. It must have been surprising to see him there when
you weren't expecting it," I prompted, hoping to elicit some sort of
acknowledgment from her.
She laughed without pleasure. "Well, you know Avery. Likely
to crop up just about anywhere, any time of the night. It's good
one of us is social, I suppose, or else we'd drive each other crazy
sitting in the apartment all the time."
I didn't know where to go with that, so I just nodded.
"What about you? Looked like you were having fun when I left,
talking to Elisa and Philip. Was it a good night?"
I stared at her, thinking about how awkward I'd felt with Elisa
and Philip, as if I were a trespasser in a members-only world—a
feeling that had become pretty familiar to me since I'd joined Kelly
& Company. I thought about how I'd gotten in the cab and argued
to be dropped off alone and how—much to my surprise—Philip
hadn't argued back, not one bit. I thought about how empty my
apartment had seemed when I got home, and how even Millington
curled up beside me in bed didn't make me feel much better. And
I looked at Penelope and wondered just when, exactly, we had
grown so far apart.
"It was all right, I guess. I was hoping to hang out with you
more . . . " I stopped short when I realized it sounded accusatory.
She lifted her gaze and looked at me sharply. "I'm sorry, I
wasn't expecting the situation with Avery. Also, I would have loved
for it to be us, going out, like we used to, but you were the one
who had us meet up with all your work friends to scout the location.
It seems like they're omnipresent these days."
"Pen, I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to sound like that. I was just
saying that I'd rather hang out with you any day. After you left, it just
got worse. Philip was babysitting some girl from home and 1 shared
a cab home with them because I didn't want to start a big scene at
the club, but then people saw me getting in the backseat, and I felt
like shit. Oh, and Abby, too. It was just a giant mess and I wish I'd
left when you did."
"So did you go home with him? Where did the girl sleep?"
"No, I just got in the cab because it seemed easier than listening
to him throw a fit. I made them drop me off first, but people
watching would never know that."
"Why didn't you go home with him? And who's 'people'?" I
could tell she was trying to keep everyone straight, but she hadn't
even met all the players.
"Well," I lied, "I'm not sure I'm ready to get involved in Philip's
world. He's tied in to just about everyone and everything at work,
which makes it all even weirder."
"I wouldn't know. You didn't introduce me," she said lightly.
I felt the reprimand and knew she was right, but I didn't want
to turn it into a big discussion. "No? Last night was a little hectic.
Trust me, you're not missing much. He's gorgeous, that much you
saw, but otherwise he's your basic spoiled party kid, just with a
fantastic accent. Damn shame he's so cute, though." I sighed
audibly.
"Well, that little speech sounds all well and good, my dear, but
you should've seen your face when he walked in with that model.
I thought you'd die. You like him, don't you? Admit it."
I didn't know how to say that of course something attracted me
to him, but something simultaneously repelled me. I didn't want to
say aloud how flattered I was that someone like Philip could want
someone like me, even if he didn't seem to be all that great of a
guy. I didn't want to explain the entire situation at work, how I
suspected Elisa might be jealous that Philip was interested in me,
or how Kelly had seemed ready and willing to whore me out to
Philip because it meant good things for the business. I just
shrugged and salted my omelet, making sure to fix my coffee cup
to my lips so I wouldn't have to say anything just yet.
Penelope understood that I wasn't going to get into it then. It
was the first and only time in the nearly nine years we'd been
friends that I could remember both of us sitting at a table and willingly
withholding information from each other. She'd refused to tell
me her real feelings about her relationship with Avery; I'd taken a
pass on commenting on Philip. We sat in a comfortable enough but
foreign-feeling silence until she said, "I know I don't know the entire
situation, and of course I know you're more than capable of
handling everything yourself, but please, for me, just be careful?
I'm sure Philip is a perfectly nice guy, but I've seen enough with
Avery's friends and now your work friends to know that the whole
scene just freaks me out. Nothing concrete, but I worry about you,
you know?"
She placed her hand over mine and I knew we'd get back to
our old selves at some point. In the meantime, we'd have to settle
for thinking about each other from afar.
11
"Okay, kids, quiet down," Kelly announced as she tottered into
the conference room in the high heels she wore every single day.
"Did everyone have a chance to read their Dirt Alerts already?"
"Sure did," piped up Leo from the other end of the glass table
that looked like it belonged more in a W hotel than in an office.
"Seems like our favorite new staffer got herself another mention."
I felt the familiar loopiness in my stomach begin its rounds.
I'd been ten minutes late this morning and hadn't yet read the Dirt
Alert, obviously a major misstep on my part. One of the assistants
specifically got in every morning by six A.M. to create the day's
Dirt Alert for all of us—a sort of survey of all the columns, papers,
and stories that might, in some way, be related to our clients
or industry—and place them on our desks by nine A.M., but everyone
generally scanned all the websites when they first got up in
the morning, skimming quickly between Drudge, Page Six, Liz
Smith, Rush & Molloy,
USA Today, Variety,
New York Scoop, an
assortment of blogs and columns, and a few of the bigger trade
headlines. It's best to know early if something bad happened and
your phone was going to ring off the hook, so the Dirt Alert was
more of a formality than any sort of breaking news. The only really
relevant information we got each morning was the Celeb Alert,
which included information on who's in town, why they're here,
where they're staying (and under what name), and how to best
contact them to bribe or beg them to attend an event. Four straight
weeks of logging on to analyze every imaginable website within
five seconds of waking up—supplemented by a professional report
a few hours later—and the one day I wasn't fully informed
of all the late-breaking gossip, of course, was the only one that
mattered.
"Urn, I haven't had a chance to see it yet this morning. And besides,
I can't imagine what could be in there, considering I was
checking out Sanctuary this weekend—with all of you—right up
until I went home. Alone," I added quickly, as though I owed my
coworkers this explanation.
"Well, let's see here," Kelly said, picking up a printout of the
online column. " 'New Kelly & Company employee seems determined
to fit in with her hard-partying coworkers. Sources say the
event planner's unnamed new girl—supposedly scoping out Sanctuary
on Saturday night as a potential venue for the ultra hushhush
Playboy
party—mixed business and pleasure when she left
with Philip Weston and an unidentified model. Their final destination?
We have our ideas.' . . ." Kelly let the last words trail off and
turned to grin at me.
I felt myself turn crimson.
"What, exactly, is it implying? Because so far I haven't heard
one remotely true statement. And who the hell wrote that?"
"Ellie Insider, of course. There's a picture of you climbing into
the cab with Philip and this absolutely gorgeous girl, so I guess it's
not hard to figure out what she's suggesting. . . . " Kelly continued
smiling. She looked like she couldn't be any happier.
Was it utterly bizarre to be discussing this in our weekly staff
meeting, called today supposedly to discuss work events?
"Kelly, I'm really sorry for any impact any of this stuff has had
on you or the company. Honestly, I don't know why anyone
would care, but in all seriousness, it's just not happening like—"
" 'The newest It Girl, an associate at Kelly & Company.' Do you
realize how huge that is? Hopefully next time they'll use your
name. They probably just couldn't confirm it in time since you're
not on the industry roster yet."
I noticed Elisa was having trouble smiling.
"Not only that, but it says the rest of us are hard-partying," Leo
chimed in proudly.
"And it plugs the
Playboy
party!" Skye added.
"I just don't know who would give them that information," I
muttered. "It's not even true."
"Bette, honey, I don't care if it's true, I just care that it's being
covered. You've done wonderful things for the team in the short
amount of time you've been with us. Plus, Danny will be thrilled
about the plug for the club. Keep up the good work." And with